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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23454403">Seasons Change</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Kane Chronicles - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, The Gangs All Here</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:48:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>168,658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23454403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy Jackson had gleaned a couple of things from the return of Nico di Angelo in his life: One, everything is better when you're drunk. Two: cigarettes taste bad but could be worse. Three: he might possibly be the teeniest-tiniest bit unequivocally gay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Original written by Hitome-Chan on Fanfiction.net</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Take a Summer evening in the rural outskirts of New York, Keene Valley, New York to be more specific. Eventually you'll find a cabin filled to the brim with two families on vacation, the Jacksons and the di Angelos. Both, at the time, are a relatively young couple and both have children. The Jacksons: Don and Sally, have one boy named Percy; the di Angelos: Maria and Hades have a boy and a girl.</p><p>Tonight was a semi-special occasion, Don—whose full name is Poseidon—had been recently promoted at work. He was now a CEO for Fulton and Barns shipping company and to celebrate they had all decided to take a small vacation, a reprieve really. In a few days they would all be back home going about their individual lives again. Sally was a customer consultant for Nording Electronics, a job she insisted on keeping no matter how much money her husband made. The domestic life had never suited her much, even as a girl she had always preferred to make her own way through life instead of relying on others. Maria, however, was a homemaker—which she felt was just as important as being a woman of independent means; her husband Hades, a tall, slim, private sort of man with eyes darker than black diamond and a gaze sharper than a razor's blade, made his living as a writer. He had a small bit of celebrity, his books had won some inconsequential prizes here and there and he made more than enough on royalties to keep his family fed.</p><p>Currently Don and Hades, who would not accept any form of nickname that anyone tried to come up with, were smoking cigars in the sitting room while their wives sat in the kitchen discussing current events and drinking wine.</p><p>Their children, however, were upstairs. That's where the real story begins.</p><p>Perseus (Percy) Jackson was nine-and-a-half years old. Actually, he was nine-and-three-quarters, his birthday was in a few months but his dad told him not to split hairs about it and to stop bringing up the much wanted Gameboy Advanced or he wasn't going to get it; so he had stopped talking about it, at least with the grown-ups anyway. Percy was one of those kids who some might label as "rambunctious" or even "obnoxious" but underneath all of his debauchery he was relatively sweet. His smile, though missing a front tooth, could melt even Hades' standoffish demeanor to some degree, like the time he had broken the di Angelo's window with a baseball that had gone awry after an awesome swing from his Louisville Slugger. To be fair the wind had been awfully blustery that day and everyone knew Ethan Nakamura couldn't pitch worth a dime, still, that window had been at the right place at the wrong time; not that it wasn't always there; it was just a particularly more wrong time that day.</p><p>Percy's face was beginning to slim, his cheeks had lost some of their incredible rosiness and he was slowly transforming into the young man he would soon be. His brown hair was cut short thanks to his dad's obsession with keeping it that way, something about him looking "presentable" whatever that meant, and his eyes were as blue as a crisp October's morning. Currently Percy was talking to Bianca, Hades' and Maria's oldest. To Percy Bianca was a strange, wonderful creature who spoke her mind and did what she wanted anytime she wanted. In reality this was true to some degree, she was strong willed and intelligent, she was also quite mindful and respectful of her parents and other adult and to a boy who was almost ten this was unfathomable. She was very withdrawn, but refused to stay silent when things needed correcting, like Percy's improper use of certain words. There was obviously never a such person as Vlad the In-Frailer, no matter how much Percy believed it to be true. Impaler. Vlad the Impaler.</p><p>Bianca, who took to her father's stance on nicknames, was indeed a strange girl, by the standards of the nine-year-old community. She wasn't taken to playing with dolls, nor with sports, nor much of anything really. She liked reading, mostly her father's books—the ones he deemed her old enough to read—but occasionally she could be caught with a <em>Charlie Bone</em> or a <em>Pendragon</em>here and there. She wasn't inherently bookish but she preferred it to stupid things like make-up and Barbie Malibu Houses. She was a thin girl with eyes much too big for her face and a quick scowl that would present itself anytime an adult tried to talk down to her as if she did not understand something. She hated being babied.</p><p>Her hair was wavy, it was a shade darker than night itself and sat choppily against her head cut to the nape of her neck by a pair of green safety scissors. Her mother had not been happily about the impromptu change in style, but Bianca thought she looked better with shorter hair—even if Sissy Jenkins called her a tomboy everyday at school. It probably didn't help that she wore clothes that were about a size too big for her because they were more comfortable. Her mother also didn't appreciate that she didn't think much of pretty dresses and fashions, but Bianca would shrug her shoulders and dive back into her stories.</p><p>"I'm gonna get a Squirtle, 'cause water Pokémon are the best." Percy was saying to her, "That is when Dad gets me a Gameboy for my birthday, do you wanna watch Pokémon with me? I got some tapes in here we could put in the VCR?"</p><p>"No thanks," Bianca replied, "I only have a few more chapters left in this stupid assigned reading," She held up the yellow colored book. "I don't even like Nancy Drew." Then she blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and turned the page. Percy looked a bit crestfallen, only because he really liked Pokémon and he wanted his friend to like it too, but she seemed more inclined to being boring.</p><p>"I'll watch it, Percy." A timid voice spoke up, it was younger than even their young voices by two years and Percy hardly ever heard it. He looked up at Nico di Angelo, who some might call "precious" and others might call "adorable" but underneath it all he was really very shy. Nico, like his sister, had gigantic eyes and like his sister's they were incredibly brown, stupendously brown even. They were the same brown as the sand of the Sahara desert, an ashy, breathtaking sort of pale. But, they looked browner by comparison to his ivory white skin. Nico was not a boy who liked stepping outside a lot. His hair was unusually shaggy since his father didn't take much stock in forcing him to cut it if he didn't want to, and fell like inky rivulets all around his hair. It was wavy, like Bianca's, but without the frayed edges thanks to dull scissors. Across his small, button nose was a sea of freckles that spanned from one cheek to the next without breaking.</p><p>Nico was also not prone to smiling, though when he was amused his eyes would sparkle brightly and he would, for a time, become much more extroverted.</p><p>"<em>You </em>like Pokémon?" Percy asked, sounding obviously surprised considering that Nico never really seemed to like anything. He just sat behind his sister, or watched them play outside when Percy could drag Bianca away from the nook she read in. Nico nodded, his shoulder-length hair bobbing with the movements. Then Percy grinned, "Cool. I'll go get the tapes!" Then he was scampering to the hall closet where his mom forced him to keep his VHSs because he had a tendency to leave them strewn out all over the place if he didn't. When he returned he popped the movie in and was forced to rewind it since he had not done so last time he watched it. "Who's your favorite? I bet it's someone stupid like Jynx?" Percy said with a teasing, snaggle-toothed grin.</p><p>Nico, who was unused to teasing, immediately reddened in the face, "Nuh-uh! I like Gengar," He said, sounding triumphant to have overturned what he had perceived as an insult. Percy conceded this as the tape stopped and immediately began to play. Bianca rolled her eyes and muttered "Boys." Then she continued on through the harrowing adventures of Nancy Drew.</p><hr/><p>That Summer, when they came back from the cabin, Percy made sure to make more of an effort to hang out with Nico, since Bianca seemed more and more loathe to be fun. "Girls." Percy said sitting in the fort they had built in which to watch television. It was a Saturday and Nico had slept over, they were still in their pajamas considering that it was morning time and were currently trying to catch up on Dragon Ball Z, a show Sally deemed too violent but Don had told her boys would be boys and so she let them have it.</p><p>"What about them?" Nico asked, taking a bite of his cereal with more marshmallows than actual grain shaped 'o's.</p><p>"I don't know, I just don't get 'em." Percy replied in an almost exasperated voice, as if he had been thoroughly researching "girls" and could not, for the life of him, figure them out.</p><p>"What's to get?" Nico wondered tearing his eyes away from a wonderfully intrepid fight scene wherein Goku, the main character, was battling Captain Ginyu, a decidedly bad guy.</p><p>"Well…" Percy sighed. "I mean, my Dad says I'm gonna start liking 'em soon and that I better be extra nice to Bianca 'cause she's going to be really pretty like your Mom, but I don't think I care about them being pretty. I wish they just wouldn't giggle so much, you know? They're always giggling." Giggle was a word Percy had recently learned. "I mean what's to giggle about? There's nothing funny about the way I walk, they always giggle when I walk by."</p><p>"Mom says if a girl laughs at you she likes you," Nico interjected, stuffing his mouth full of sugary cereal. Percy pulled a face at that remark.</p><p>"Gross." He said.</p><p>"Yeah," Nico agreed, though the word was slightly muffled around a spoonful. "I'll never like 'em."</p><hr/><p>It was the start of a new school year, Nico—who was showing signs of being rather intelligent—had been promoted to the sixth grade a year early, putting him just behind his sister and Percy, whom he considered to be his best friend.</p><p>His only friend, really.</p><p>It worried Maria and Hades, who were both a bit older now, that their son didn't seem to make friends well but they hoped spending time with Percy in junior high would do him some good as Don and Sally's boy was a social butterfly. Nico stepped off of the bus where Bianca quickly told him to have a good day and made her way to her class and he was left alone in the mass of other students who all seemed much bigger than him. He had been attending now for a good two months, which was just long enough to earn him a nickname. "Hey, look, it's The Baby!" Luke Castellan, a tall, athletic seventh grader smirked as he came closer.</p><p>"Baby need his diaper changed?" Someone else in Luke's group of boys chided in a purely childish voice.</p><p>"Don't you know you have to be this tall to get into our school, little baby?" Travis Stoll, another towering seventh grader, grinned, standing behind Luke. He was holding his hand just barely above Nico's head. Nico, in turn, blushed furiously, embarrassed, and trained his eyes on the ground. The first bell rang, but Nico realized that his antagonizers were not going to part for him to walk by.</p><p>"Go home, <em>baby</em>, we don't need you in our school." Maybe it was because he <em>was </em>the smallest kid in school, or maybe it was his otherwise innocent appearance with his flushed cheeks and his watery eyes, but Nico was an easy target for them. He was near tears as they advanced on him; he wanted to tell them that he was not a baby. That he was really smart and that they let him skip a <em>whole </em>grade to be there. But, his mouth was twitching as he desperately held back a pathetic sob and his eyes itched with unshed crying. Still, they marched on. This wasn't the first time Luke and his friends had bullied him and he knew it wouldn't be the last. He had the bruise on his arm to prove it.</p><p>"Hey, leave him alone!" Nico looked up; standing behind him now was Percy.</p><p>"Or what?" Luke asked, sneering.</p><p>"Or I'll tell everyone about the time your Dad caught you wearing your sister's skirt, <em>Princess</em> Luke." Percy threatened, to which his opposition seemed thoroughly dissuaded. Luke set his face in an unfriendly frown and crossed his arms though his embarrassment was apparent as his cheeks became increasingly red. The other boys around him were looking at him with questioning glances but he paid them no mind.</p><p>"We'll see you later, little baby, when your <em>boyfriend </em>isn't around." His group of flunkies laughed and they made it inside as the second bell rang, signifying that Percy and Nico were now late. Nico was stock still, he dared not look up at Percy, for some reason the word "boyfriend" sat on his chest like a heavy weight. He was eleven now and he knew what it meant. Was Percy his boyfriend? A fluttery feeling took the pit of his stomach at that thought, not an unpleasant one but one that made him more anxious than anything. He wanted to asked, but he was afraid to.</p><p>Percy's hand landed on his shoulder. "You okay?" He wondered, growing taller every day. Nico swore that if Percy kept growing he'd leave him behind in the dust and shoot all the way to the moon. Percy was thirteen now and he looked it. He was athletic and strong, his limbs were thin but shapely, unlike Nico's own wiry arms and legs, and he was starting to get the faintest dusting of hair underneath his chin. Nico always noticed when Percy's voice cracked.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm alright," He replied, wiping at his eyes that were still threatening tears. But, Percy smiled and put an arm around him and Nico's fluttering stomach did a back-flip. He had never had that reaction when Percy touched him before and his cheeks grew more flush, but he didn't move away.</p><p>"Come on, I'll walk you to class, tell the teacher you didn't feel well." Nico felt a tightness around his heart and an uncontrollable giddiness at that grin and he nodded, mirroring it. Percy was the only one who could make him smile, not even his mom could get him to do a full-fledged one.</p><p>"Yeah, okay," He said, breathlessly. After a moment of deliberation he looked up at Percy again, "Thanks." His voice was still timid and barely there and when Percy's sea-green eyes swept over him he felt his heart stutter. He knew his face was growing hotter, presumably redder, but he couldn't look away.</p><p>"Anytime, Nicky, you know I'll always be there for you." Percy returned, giving him a good, healthy squeeze.</p><hr/><p>A few days after Nico's twelfth birthday party he and Percy found themselves in their old tree house at the Jackson's Summer home. Nico liked his birthday because it always fell a month and a few days after Percy's but also a month before school started. The sun was setting and he and Percy were sitting extremely close. So close that there was no space between them, so close, in fact that his nose was filled with the smell of the general outdoorsy scent from the other boy beside him, they had been out all day and were in desperate need of bathing as boys normally are.</p><p>Bianca didn't hang around much anymore; she had other friends, friends that were into poetry and writing and boy bands, all of which were things Nico did not particularly care for. Sure, his father was a writer but he just didn't feel the call to it. Instead he had been steadily noticing colors more. Like the color of Percy's lips which was a nice muted pink—especially in the setting sunlight.</p><p>"Hey, Perce," Nico said, leaning against him fully. It was times like these that Nico wished Summer and birthdays would never have to end.</p><p>Percy had recently discovered girls. Alright, well, he had always known about girls but recently he had discovered that they could be used for things like kissing, which was kind of important to him now that he was fourteen. "Yeah, Nicky?" He wondered, his Yankees baseball cap pulled just barely over top of his eyebrows.</p><p>"Are we always going to be friends, you and me?" Percy found this an odd thing to wonder, but then again Nico was odd some times. When Percy tried to tell him about how much fun kissing Miranda Gardiner had been the boy hadn't seemed at all interested, in fact he had seemed slightly irritated by it.</p><p>"Of course, buddy. You and me, we're like the Three Musketeers." He smiled.</p><p>"But there's only two of us," Nico said.</p><p>This was met with silence while the other boy thought of a comeback. "Well, that's even better; a third guy would ruin it." Percy finally said after a few seconds, he laughed and patted Nico on the back. They lapsed back into silence again and Nico was beginning to realize that the unsteady beat of his heart wasn't from how fast they had been racing around earlier on their bikes, if it had been then the incredibly quick <em>ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump! </em>tempo would have been over by now. But, he didn't pay it much attention, instead he sank further into Percy's side, not minding that his best friend was a little musky since Nico had started using deodorant too and understood that it was a pain to put it on every day. "So forever?" He asked, looking up into those eyes that shone like stars and his breathing became arrested.</p><p>Percy looked down at him like he was accustomed to doing, smiling widely, and said, "Forever, Nicky. I promise."</p><hr/><p>Percy was shocked for several reasons. One, he had a girlfriend now and she let him do a little more than hold her hand. Breasts, he found out, felt pretty nice. They didn't incite the same sort of tingling below the belt as kissing did, but they were nice enough. Two, when he told his best friend Nico this new, most fascinating discovery the younger boy seemed to get incredibly angry for absolutely no reason. And three, after shouting for a good fifteen seconds about how Percy had no idea what he was going through and that he was oblivious to everything Nico had then proceeded to kiss him thoroughly, on the lips, for about fifteen more seconds.</p><p>Shock, however, had turned to fear and fear quickly turned to anger. Why would Nico do that, he wondered? There was no just cause for it and he was suddenly very upset, minutely though his lips felt like tickly. "You—you're gay, Nico! Ew! Get off of me!" Percy accused, pushing the other boy away. Nico, who had taken to brooding and dark moods whenever Percy wasn't around, seemed to become severely afraid. His eyebrows drew together and his bottom lip quivered. It reminded Percy of the time back in seventh grade when he saved Nico from Luke, but he couldn't take back what he said, and something in his mind told him not to.</p><p>"I…I really like you, Percy." Nico confessed suddenly the words spilling out of him as if rehearsed but said still quite shakily, he wouldn't meet his friend's eyes. "You've been my best friend for all these years and I didn't mean to start liking you, but it just sort of happened and I'm sorry."</p><p>"Ugh!" There was an alarm blaring in the back of Percy's head. He didn't want to hear that, not because he found it disgusting but…there was something he could not understand that made Nico's confession so horrible. So very horrible. There was a sliver of ice in Percy's throat, his fear he realized, and he tried to swallow it down but he couldn't. He couldn't be forgiving about what Nico had just done. It was wrong. Wrong. <strong><em>WRONG</em></strong>. "Get out of here Nico. I don't think we can be friends anymore."</p><p>"Wait—Percy, no, I didn't want that, I love you—"</p><p>"Just go home, Nico! I don't want to be friends with a fag!" Percy shouted, his stomach clenched and that fluttery falling feeling like when he road rollercoasters made him feel dizzy. They had fought before, thrown punches at each other, once they had even broke one of Maria's vases during a scuffle, but there was no playful banter to be had after something like that, no parents around to make them apologize to each other. Nico left, obviously very close to crying. It usually took him five minutes to get home if he was walking slow; when the call came Percy decided the boy must have been sprinting because only two had passed.</p><p>"He what?" He heard his father's voice float lividly through their living room and up to his bedroom; Percy couldn't imagine going back to their Summer home now. Not with all of his memories of Nico tainted. "Perseus!" Don screamed, Percy sighed, thinking this was inevitable, and trudged slowly down the stairs. "Tell me right now: did Nico kiss you?" He didn't know what else to say, so instead he nodded. "<em>Fuck</em>." His father just barely whispered, though he still heard. "I knew that kid was a pouf." Then he held the phone back up to his ear. "No, Maria, I don't think Percy should apologize. I'm sorry that Nico's inconsolable right now but he can't just go around kissing other boys. It's disgusting." Don paused, Maria must have been speaking. "I don't give a damn, okay. I don't want your son around Percy anymore; I don't need him infecting my kid. Yeah, okay, and a big fuck you to you too." His father hung up the phone unceremoniously, slamming it down on the receiver. Then, he looked up and Percy was reminded that his dad was a large man; tall, foreboding, scary even sometimes when he yelled. "You didn't…I mean, there's no way that you possibly could have…you didn't like it did you, son? When he kissed you?" His eyes were almost pleading, and his voice was unashamedly so.</p><p>"I—"</p><p>"No, 'course not." Don blew a sigh of relief. "Hey, I've got an idea, you want to go hit a few at the cages, buddy? Take your mind off of this whole traumatizing ordeal?" But again Percy didn't have time to answer. "Get your helmet and your bat; I'll be in the car."</p><p>"Yes, sir," He responded and then headed back up the stairs.</p><p>After that Percy didn't see a whole lot of Nico, especially since he was going on to high school next year. It was probably best that he just swept this whole thing under the rug. He was starting to feel really bad about what he said and all he wanted to do was call Nico back and say he was sorry. He never got that chance that Summer.</p><hr/><p>Nico moved away during Percy's ninth grade year. His parents told him it was because Mr. di Angelo had found a nice job in California and that they all wanted to go, but Percy knew Nico. New York City was in his bones, he would never voluntarily move away. His dad told him he couldn't go wish them a happy trip, couldn't go see them at all really. The Jacksons and the di Angelo had been estranged for almost a year now, there were no more bonded family outings, no cook-outs, no impromptu movie nights. Nothing.</p><p>Percy missed Maria and Hades, they were like an aunt and a very cold, cynical uncle to him, and his missed Bianca—who wasn't so bad anymore, not that he understood what she was saying half of the time because she had moved on to Libertarianism and he didn't really get politics, still he missed her. But, most of all he missed Nico, he realized, and he had not really gotten an opportunity to apologize for the hurtful things he had said. Nico wouldn't stop and talk to him in the hallways, his IMs were ignored and then one day Nico's screenname had disappeared completely from Percy's AIM screen. He had even tried to sneak over to the di Angelo home but when he did Nico always seemed to be "out."</p><p>So instead Percy, who had decided a long time ago that getting any older than fifteen was just gonna suck, was sitting in his window watching the moving truck being loaded up. He caught a glimpse of hair that had gone from waves to untamable curls almost overnight and knew exactly who it was, but he dared not venture outside. He watched as the truck drove away, and then finally as the di Angelo's familiar four door sedan pulled out of his neighborhood. Percy felt forlorn and for a long time his eyes stared at the window that used to be Nico's where they would write messages to each other back and forth, or make stupid faces at each other and he missed Nico all the more.</p><p>"Percy! Dinner!" His mom called up to him and he wiped at the tears he hadn't realized were falling out of his eyes. Lately his parents had been fighting a lot, Percy knew it was about the kiss but they wouldn't admit it. They wouldn't even talk to each other for long portions of the day. Percy didn't move from his spot at the window, instead he sat his head against the cool glass and wished that sedan would turn back around and that that furniture would just magically move itself back in.</p><p>For the first time in a while he cried, but he did it silently so his father didn't hear him.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico came out to his parents, officially. It took a while for him to work up the courage of it though. He was fourteen, and he was still scared of his dad, not to mention the fact that he was absolutely terrified of his mother's opinion.</p><p>"Alright, you're gay." Hades had said after his son's blushing, flustered confession. "The sky is blue, grass is green, and the world keeps spinning. You get an 'A' in math and <em>then </em>I'll be surprised." Maria had give her husband's arm a bit of a pinch, but then she turned to her son and kissed him on the cheek and told him they would love him no matter what, and then she had hugged him and that had been the end of it. He had gotten off scot free, without even a slap on his wrist.</p><p>Nico decided something after that. If he was going to be gay, something he most decidedly had no control over, he was going to be as gay as he could possibly be. He took to wearing tighter, more colorful clothing, he got piercings, coifed his hair, and it wasn't that these things made him more homosexual but it was in the sense that flamboyancy is seen as a generally more homosexual trait overall. This change, however, lasted all of a month.</p><p>Bianca had, after their parents went about their business, hugged Nico closely for a moment, then punched him in the chest. "You should have told me earlier, dweeb. Something tells me I don't have a new shopping buddy though?" She did, though, for a month at least. That was how long it took for him to realize that being gay and acting the way he was were two different things.</p><p>Being gay, he found out, was a lot like being Italian—there was nothing he could do about it. After Nico gave up on the entire "flaming" concept he had also given up on fashion, for the most part. He held on to his tight black jeans, he kept gelling his hair, but he liked those things.</p><p>He went back to being Nico, after a while. There was a place inside of him, it was a very large place, that was still broken up about the entire Percy debacle but he hid it well behind a very distant, almost apathetic veneer. That was probably the reason a great deal of the kids in his new, and what he hoped was his final, high school kept away from him.</p><p>Originally the di Angelos didn't settle in Los Angeles. Hades was a man who didn't half-ass anything, or so he claimed. So they journeyed from New York to Maryland, to Rhode Island, to New Hampshire, Virginia, to Georgia, to Florida, to Kansas, Michigan, to Washington, and then, over a course of only a year his work brought him and his family to California.</p><p>Bianca was not happy about the move, any of them. To her it seemed that they only picked up and moved again was when she was enrolled in school and had finally made new girlfriends. Maria would assure her that it wasn't that, and would continually tell her that it wasn't her brother's fault. It was the fact the Jackson's unneighbourly conduct came at the right time. Hades had been needing an excuse to research a few key points in his next couple of books.</p><p>"That doesn't mean I have to enjoy all these transitions," Bianca retorted back icily.</p><p>"Your father says this is our last one, okay, baby?" Maria answered, kissing her daughter on the forehead. "I know it's been hard on you, this has been difficult on the entire family, but this is a beautiful city, I think you'll fit right in."</p><p>"Yeah, okay." She said it in the way seventeen year old girls say things, perturbed, short tempered, as if she knew there was absolutely no way she would fit in at all. Nico had watched their little exchange while they were unaware of him, he did feel bad about everything. He hated that his family had to move to the other side of the country just because he had gotten in a fight. But, his mother was right, it wasn't just that they needed to move, but also that his father was doing research.</p><p>It was hard to find Hades during the day if he wasn't in his office. He was normally all over town, looking up streets, houses, buildings, any and everything he needed for his next novel. It was a colossal sort of fiction, the kind that dealt with travelling in such a way as his family had done. There were a lot of different venues and he had seen them all now.</p><p>Still, Nico wished his father was around more. Then again, Nico wished a lot of things. He wished things in his life were more normal, and he wished he was back in New York with his friends…well. His friend.</p><p>Just the one.</p><p>Most of all, more than anything else in the world, Nico wished that Percy didn't hate him. That's what had hurt the most out of everything else, after all they had been through, all the years they had been together, and it wasn't enough. Percy didn't love him, not the way he loved Percy.</p><p>Something warm ran down his cheek, reaching up he discovered a tear, and suddenly a great deal more followed after them. Unwillingly he had had his heartbroken, and the worst part was he had not even known about his feelings until they had made him lean forward and kiss his best and only friend.</p><p>There was a concentrated sadness in the center of his chest, a hard, cold lump surrounded by a sea of grief. An island of remorse where his heart should have been, and Nico couldn't keep it bottled up inside of himself for very much longer. Clamping his hands over his mouth he silently made his way to his new room, it was barely furnished, just a bed and a desk. But at that moment any sort of clutter would have only made him all the more sorrowful.</p><p>Slowly he was falling into a deeper despair, as if life could never get better, this was the lowest moment in his young existence and he just hurt all over.</p><p>As the strangled cry left his throat, and the tears ran rampant down his face, and he lost himself to his great grief it all seemed so irrelevant. The world was still spinning, life was still happening, and it was sure to leave him behind if he didn't do something to cope.</p><p>Later they would try to cure him with pills, but for now his depression was tantamount.</p><hr/><p>In his tenth grade year Nico had taken up several bad habits. The first that had sort of started them all was his cutting. <em>How fucking cliché</em>, he thought with a grim smile the first time he dragged a razor blade over his wrist. He wasn't fucking stupid, he knew self-harm and mutilation were signs of deep emotional issues. Hell, he had to listen to Bianca's psychobabble all the time he could almost quote the entire Psychology textbook at you verbatim, not that he would want to. If anything it did give the two of them something to talk about, his "problems" that is. She promised not to tell their parents about the more…masochistic ones, the ones that inevitably did more bad than good in the end—which was basically all of them if he continued to be her "study subject" and he had agreed.</p><p>Still, cutting was one of many releases he had found that most people wouldn't call favorable. Then there was the smoking, the drinking, and after a little while there was the occasional cocaine usage. Nothing major, he told himself. He wasn't addicted, he told himself. It wasn't <em>that </em>bad, he convinced himself, and he believed it too.</p><p>Still, after a little while he knew that he had to be more resourceful about his cutting, at first it had been his wrists, but the "cat scratches" excuse had grown old fast and people weren't as gullible as they seem to be. Sometimes he came across a smart one, sometimes they asked questions he didn't like to answer. So instead he cut the inside of his thighs, a place he figured only he would see.</p><p>His friends, and yes he had made a few, didn't say anything about it to him because they were like him. They were outcasts, they were the gays, the queers, the inbetweens that society couldn't understand, that society didn't want to understand.</p><p>There was Leo, who he would call his best friend if push came to shove. Leo was gay. Leo was very gay. If queerness could be measured in how much he liked Broadway musicals, fashion, old movie starlets, then he wasn't your guy, but if how much he liked getting fucked in the ass, and sucking another man off, with a severe distaste in women sexually counted for anything then Leo was indeed <em>very </em>gay.</p><p>Leo was the first person Nico had ever felt comfortable talking about anything sexual with, and it was all because of a botched date—one that had started off badly, came to its middle badly, and at the end of the night they had just settled down in Leo's room, played Modern Warfarem and laughed at the whole thing. They weren't very compatible on one spectrum, and that was in a romantic sense. They didn't make sense together because when it came down to it they were <em>too </em>much like each other. Still, they made for good friends.</p><p>Then there was Frank, Frank was queer. He wasn't necessarily gay, but he wasn't opposed to sex with men. Then again, he didn't mind it with women either. There were several difficulties with this though. One: Frank was a virgin. Two: Frank didn't really have a gender. Biologically he was born a man, and when speaking of him he preferred for people to use male pronouns because it was easiest. But Frank had never particularly felt like a man or a woman, he had never been able to place his gender, or his sexuality, or anything really, so he lived his life as a quote/unquote "bisexual" man, when in reality he was really a gender-fluid pansexual. Problem three, and this was probably the most pressing of them all, was Frank's complete and total dislike of his appearance. "I'm a six foot-five, two hundred pound, baby faced, Chinese freak." He would say on his bad days where he was more down about it than usual. Four of those five things was true, Nico would continually tell him. He was, in fact, 6'5, he was in fact two hundred pounds, he was Chinese, and he did have a very, very young looking face—but none of these things were necessarily bad, and he most certainly was not a freak.</p><p>Nico would laugh at himself because who was he to be consoling anyone else?</p><p>Then there was Rachel. Rachel fucking Dare. Nico scoffed. Rachel Dare was a good friend, right behind Leo, but Rachel was something else. It wasn't that Nico hated that she made everything seem effortless, or that she could weasel out of anything, or that she had boys flocking to her every whim left and right. It wasn't even that Nico was pretty sure if Rachel bottled her essence and sprayed it over bullshit they would sell it for hundreds of thousands of dollars. It wasn't that Rachel had a fortune waiting for her when she turned twenty-five thanks to her grandfather who had own a multibillion dollar company before his death, but it was that she did it all and then listened to his whining with a kind, observant ear.</p><p>Nico had a sneaking, unfounded, suspicion that Rachel was actually gathering evidence against him. It was, most likely, that he didn't really trust people—not even Leo—like he should have. More of those deep rooted issues he and Bianca liked to talk about late at night by cigarette.</p><p>Currently Nico and his friends were seated at their usual lunch table at the end of yet another school day. Rachel and Frank were having a discussion about bands Nico didn't listen to, and he and Leo weren't really talking about anything.</p><p>"So have you seen him this week?" Leo asked,</p><p>"Not this week," Nico shrugged, "not even a text." By, "anything" Nico guessed he meant Octavian, otherwise known as his not-boyfriend. Octavian was twenty-two and he had a car, and Nico wasn't in <em>love </em>with him, per se, but he was pretty in <em>lust </em>with him.</p><p>Thinking about it, Octavian was probably one of his bad habits too.</p><p>They had met at an underground concert, one he had, of course, snuck out to see. Nico's parents were very liberal in their raising of him, Hades let him do what he wanted as long as it wasn't harmful, and Maria thought her son was still just upset about what had happened almost two years ago, but he suspected they wouldn't be too happy to find out what his life had become. And they would especially not be happy to learn that he was dating a man six years older than him.</p><p>Still, that night he had ended up in a bathroom stall, pressed up against the divider while a stranger nibbled on his neck and began undressing him. Octavian wasn't a stranger anymore, though. They were more or less dating, just without the labels.</p><p>Hence the "not-boyfriend" title.</p><p>"It's weird, Neeks, s'all I'm saying." Leo said disapprovingly; his eyebrows rose expressively, he had a very expressive face. Hell, Leo was just expressive in general. "I couldn't do the whole casually fucking thing, I'm a one man type of guy."</p><p>"I know, I know." Nico said, running a hand through his extremely curly hair, he blew a strand out of his eye. "I mean, he's a good fuck."</p><p>"You've only had, like, three others to measure him up to." Leo countered.</p><p>"He's got a big dick." Nico grinned. Leo laughed.</p><p>"Okay, I'll give you that, but really? Aren't you just sort of playing into the gay stereotype? I thought you hated that."</p><p>"You hate the Mexican stereotype, Frank hates the Asian one, I hate the gay one, and sometimes we just play into them through no fault of our own."</p><p>"There's nothing inherently <em>wrong </em>with the gay stereotype though." Leo countered.</p><p>Nico shrugged. "Whatever. I'm just trying him out for now, okay? It's not like I'm looking for a father of my children."</p><p>"Could've fooled me," Rachel threw over her shoulder, her bright green eyes shining with taunting. Frank laughed under his hand politely so as not to offend Nico, and he could never be particularly mad at Frank because the guy was so damn adorable at times, but still he cut his eyes at Rachel. She smiled at him and grabbed his cheek. "You're so cute when you scowl."</p><p>"Kindly go suck a bag of dicks, Rach."</p><p>"I'll leave the dick sucking to you three," She smirked, reaching over the table and mussing Nico's hair, something only she could get away with. "I've got to go, Dad's here." She held up her phone, indicating to a text message that must have been from her father. "Later dorks." She smiled slinging her backpack over her shoulder.</p><p>"Bye Rachel," The three remaining friends chorused, and like that she was out of the door. They were waiting on pick-ups, school was over but none of them were bus riders so on most days they awaited their parents in the cafeteria. This had been the routine for roughly a year-and-a-half now.</p><p>"So," Frank said with a small smile, which was his way—he did things in small, subtle intervals, almost as if he were afraid of his own bigness. "you guys were talking about Octavian?" Nico sneered, his not-boyfriend was always quick to become their main point of topic if nothing else was immediately seeking their attention.</p><p>"Aren't there blouses and skirts you should be pretending you don't want to wear somewhere?" He answered back testily.</p><p>Frank laughed, "You're always so testy about Octagon."</p><p>"Please don't call him that."</p><p>"It's true, you absolutely hate talking about him." Leo said. "We're your best friends, you should actually want to tell us these things."</p><p>"See, the problem is I don't think it's any of your business, in fact—" But his verbal lashing was cut short as Nico's phone rang loudly the very next moment. He pulled it from his pocket, it was a text message. Apparently they had talked up his lover. Frank and Leo mirrored each other's smiles. "Shut the hell up." Nico growled, they didn't even know who it was from, they were just pretending to. Sighing he opened the message.</p><p>'<em>Come hang with me</em>.<em>'</em> it read, and that was just like Octavian, if it benefited him he just asked directly. There was no question about Nico's day, no wondering if he was busy with school work, just "come hang with me" as if he didn't have a choice. Of course, by this time Leo and Frank were hanging over his shoulders.</p><p>"You gonna go?"</p><p>"Well of course he is: he wants to get laid." Leo nudged him in the ribs.</p><p>"I mean, I really think he's just using you Nico…"</p><p>"Neeks is the one using him, more like it. He's got this way about him that guys just can't get over. I admit I'm a little jealous."</p><p>"You just get all clingy is the problem Leo,"</p><p>"Fuck you man, you've never even had a boyfriend."</p><p>"Don't get mad because you go all level five stalker when it comes to guys," Frank shot back.</p><p>Nico listened to his friends prattle on without him, instead he was weighing the pros and cons of "hanging out" with Octavian. He did have Chemistry homework he should have been studying for, not that he was overly studious but if nothing else he took pride in the fact that he could get 'A's with the slightest bit of effort. He could probably manage not to fail his next Chem exam if he crammed tomorrow night, he figured.</p><p>"That's so very wrong!" Frank was exclaiming, or as close to it as it came with him. "Nico, please tell your friend that socks and sandals are atrocious."</p><p>"You put too much time into fashion, Frankie. Keep it up and your parent's'll realize that their son is actually not a son at all, hell, you're not even a daughter."</p><p>"You're right, I'm better: I'm both." Frank countered. "Now stop bringing my gender into this, dumbass. Just because you look like the poster boy for Homeless Monthly doesn't mean everyone has to."</p><p>"Would you two be quiet for a minute?" Nico shushed them. "I have to call my Dad and tell him not to pick me up."</p><p>"See," Leo grinned turning his attention away from the spat. "I knew you wanted to see Octogonagus." Rolling his eyes Nico quickly called his father, after a few exchanged words, a couple of "Yes, sirs," and a promise not to do anything stupid he called Octavian.</p><p>"Hey," He said when the line was answered.</p><p>"<em>Yes</em>?" Octavian replied; his voice deep and soothing, like that of a therapist's or a politician's. Octavian had a way of speaking, the rolling inflection, the imperative nature to his words, that made people listen. Nico thought he should run for Senator, or at the very least work a phone hotline. Instead his not-boyfriend lived off of his rich parent's money without a care in the world, which meant he had a lot of time to do a lot of unnecessary, and at times harmful, things—which is where Nico had picked it up from.</p><p>They had met at that club not even a full year ago, it was the first time Nico had ever snuck in anywhere, but thankfully his fake I.D. had passed inspection. See, Nico was a lot of things, but most of all he was depressed—and not in a general sense of the word. Nico was that searching sort of depressed, that unruly, indefatigable kind of depressed that had woven itself into his very skin, and he was looking for something from anyone who could give it to him that might temporarily relieve it. After his falling out with Percy he had been left soulfully wounded, metaphorically bleeding out from an even more metaphoric but nearly just as painful mortal gash on his emotions. Now he just wanted something, anything, to stitch up that laceration, to put him back together. Octavian proved to be just that thing, only in the sense that he was the worst sort of anesthetize.</p><p>Nico needed an overall fix and Octavian was morphine, numbing but wholly unhelpful in the long run.</p><p>It probably didn't help that their first real interaction had been sweaty, unrestrained, but thankfully protected sex in a very public stall in that very club's bathroom. Nico thought that perhaps he should have been more ashamed, that maybe he should have had a little more respect for himself than he did, but when it all boiled down to it he really just liked sex. His friend Leo knew of three men he had previously engaged in it with before Octavian, but he hadn't told them about the four others. Seven seemed too high a number of partners for someone his age.</p><p>"Don't 'yeah' me. Come pick me up from school, you said you wanted to hang." Nico answered back, earning looks from his friends that said they wished he was gentler in these situations. Octavian was quite a few years older than him though, he could take it.</p><p>"Alright, give me a minute, I have to find my keys."</p><p>"What were you doing that made you think of me?" Nico wondered idly.</p><p>"You want the truth?" There was his pretentious little laugh that followed afterward, a laugh that Nico couldn't say he was incredibly fond of, but he couldn't really ask Octavian to do a different one, it <em>was</em> his laughafter all—there was no changing it. "I was hand-over-fist about to jerk off when I thought better of it, why have a boy if I'm going masturbate by myself?"</p><p>"Touching." Nico deadpanned, quite clearly unamused. "Whatever, just get here quick. The natives are restless and won't stop pestering me about you."</p><p>"<em>You love us</em>," Leo whispered loud enough for him to hear.</p><p>"You gotta any bud?" Nico continued, ignoring the Latino young man.</p><p>"California's finest dank. We'll smoke a bowl and fuck, yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah, cool." And with that he ended the call. Nico ran a hand through his hair and sighed, he looked at his two friends. "You're really fucking annoying, you know that?"</p><p>"Duh," Frank scoffed. "It's why you keep us around."</p><p>"That and who else would hang out with his gay ass?" Leo prompted.</p><p>"Are either one of you able to talk about 'gays' and 'asses' in the same sentence without the words 'dicks in them' shoved somewhere between?"</p><p>"Fag." Leo grinned, shoving his shoulder playfully. "You gonna come over after you spend some quality time with lover boy? I need an excuse not to study too, you know."</p><p>"What you need is a boyfriend, or at least a fuck-buddy like Nico's got." Frank countered.</p><p>"Ouch. Hello Pot my name is Kettle, not Black."</p><p>"I'm just saying…" Frank laughed.</p><p>"Yeah, and I'm just saying when was the last time you got any action? Fucking virgin."</p><p>"That's an oxymoron and you know it," Frank pushed his forefinger into Leo's chest. "Anyway, my virginity is directly proportional to finding someone who can look past all of my…issues and be okay with it. Unlike you two I take pride in the fact that I'm holding out for the right boy or girl."</p><p>"And everything in-between." Nico added. They laughed at that. Nico liked these two, despite their constant bickering, and he liked Rachel even if she had the perfect sort of life he could only dream of. He supposed he couldn't ask for better friends, really. Ideally he would have still been back in New York, but ideals and reality rarely coincide.</p><p>About fifteen minutes later Nico got a text message that said simply '<em>here</em>' and he stood up. "I'll see you guys later."</p><p>"Give Octoganapus our love." Leo said with a huge grin. If the boy wasn't so damn adorable Nico might have punched him in the face a long time ago for comments like that. But with his untamed mass of curly hair, his gigantic brown eyes that seemed too big for his face, his huge ears, and that damned smile he was too cute to even be mad at—even if Nico never saw him in a romantic sort of light. Same with Frank. Frank might have been baby-faced but he was cute.</p><p>"Fuck off, the both of you."</p><p>"I didn't even say anything!" Frank protested. Nico smiled and left, heading towards the entrance of his high school. At the front, parked on the sidewalk was a motorcycle that was still running. The cyclist was seated with his feet planted on either side of him and he was leaning on the handlebars in an almost bored fashion.</p><p>Octavian was tall and wisp thin, a fact that was made more prevalent by the black tank top that clung to his torso and the cargo shorts that showed his skinny legs. "There you are, kid." He smiled. He was handsome in that pampered rich boy sort of way, his smile was a little greasy, and his eyes looked at everything like they were possessions but Nico liked him for the moment and that's all that mattered. "Hey."</p><p>"Hey yourself," Nico said returning the smile, he snuck in a quick kiss.</p><p>"Here, you ready?" Octavian handed him an extra helmet, his own seated on his lap while the motorcycle was idle, revealing his midnight colored hair to the world. Nico put the helmet on and climbed behind his not-boyfriend, wrapping his arms tightly around that slim waist.</p><p>"I am now, let's get out of here." Nico replied, that was all it took. The engine roared back to life fully, throttled, and then they were speeding away back to Octavian's apartment.</p><hr/><p>Nico was sitting naked on Octavian's bed, his hair was clinging to his sweaty forehead; his eyes were distant and rimmed in red. Octavian was smoking a cigarette on the balcony though the door was open and Nico could see his skinny equally naked form quite clearly. They were talking, and Nico wasn't completely sober, the conversation was not one he wanted to be having.</p><p>"You did it again," Octavian was saying.</p><p>"You're messing with my high, O." Nico replied, drifting between two dimensions—the real one and one where everything in his life was okay for just one goddamned minute.</p><p>"Oh, now you know who I am," Octavian was glaring at him, the jealousy in his eyes was livid and chilling and Nico really didn't want to lose this high but it was difficult when he was getting the first degree.</p><p>"Sorry," He gave a small, insincere little smile and shrugged. "You know I didn't mean anything by it."</p><p>"It'd be nice if you didn't scream out other dude's names."</p><p>"It'd be nice if you didn't <em>fuck </em>other dudes while you're with me, but I don't complain about that. Don't even make me bring up the fact that I don't even know if you're really <em>with </em>me, either. There's a whole bunch of shit we could get into right now, so just drop it." Nico shot back, his own glare much darker and menacing than Octavian's. Nico had the advantage of the fact that scowls were semi-permanent in his family. Not only that but his father was a connoisseur of menace, something that had passed from father to son. "Besides, you called me over. Don't be a pussy."</p><p>Octavian sighed, seeing that he was not going to win this battle. "This "Percy" guy must have fucked your brains out pretty good, since you never call out my name during." Octavian squashed out his cigarette and came back into his room, sitting on the big expensive bed and crossing his legs. His body was tan, being a mix of Italian and Palestinian descent made sure of that year round, and his dark eyes seemed to taunt. Many times he had tried to pry information of who Percy was out of Nico, but his teenaged lover wouldn't ever do much more than give a heartbreaking sort of self-degrading grin and shrug.</p><p>"If it makes you feel better," Nico said with just that grin, "we never had sex, just a kiss."</p><p>"Fuck." Octavian laughed, crawling on his hands and knees across the bed to nip at Nico's neckline. "Must have been one helluva kiss then."</p><p>"Can we not talk about it?"</p><p>"Can you call me by the right name?"</p><p>"Fuck you."</p><p>"Jesus Christ, Nico. Don't get mad at me for wanting you to call me who I am." Octavian's hand was possessively gripping Nico's hip, their chests were pressed together and Nico's legs were slowly wrapping around Octavian's backside.</p><p>"I'll fucking try, okay? I said I didn't mean to do it." He sighed heavily. "Can we just smoke some more?" This time Octavian grinned, he pressed their lips together—he tasted sweet and at the same time salty, the salt being from a mix of sweat and semen.</p><p>"Yeah, alright, I'll pack another bowl," He sat up and grabbed Nico's face, squishing the cheeks in between his fingers. "First you gotta suck me off though, as a way of apology." Nico rolled his eyes. He pushed Octavian backwards and the older of the two gladly fell back onto the bed, placing both of his arms behind his head and looking quite comfortable.</p><p>"Fucker." Nico bit out, then he ducked his head below Octavian's waist taking the flaccid but meaty penis into his mouth. It slowly swelled there as if coming to life and Nico suckled at it, not exactly hating what he was doing. He was good at it, Octavian might not have been his first, but he was his most frequent—and really his only nowadays.</p><p>Octavian's hand, which was almost always on him, gripped at Nico's hair tightly, forcing him all the way down, not that Nico had much of a gag reflex anymore. He swallowed the now fully swollen length, pulled it out of his mouth, and masturbated it a few times before repeating the process.</p><p>"You're so good at that," Octavian said with a rather self-satisfied look on his face. Nico didn't answer him, he just kept up what he was best least this way he couldn't accidently yell out someone's name at climax.</p><p>Someone who was dead to him.</p><p>Someone who he only <em>really </em>thought about when he was alone.</p><p>Someone he had to constantly lie to himself about.</p><p>He continued his fellatio, but it was no longer Octavian his not-boyfriend he was giving it to, but someone who he shouldn't have even still cared about. He grazed his teeth over the tight flesh of the erect manhood, licked the underside and shoved it back in his mouth before he said something stupid.</p><p>It wasn't like he even remembered what Percy looked like, he told himself.</p><p>It was convincing, he almost believed it.</p><p>Almost.</p><p>"Where have you been?" Hades asked as Nico passed the living room; it was twelve-thirty at night.</p><hr/><p>"Boyfriend." Nico said over his shoulders. "Tired. Sorry it's past curfew. Ground me in the morning."</p><p>"Son." Nico sighed and stopped, he turned around to face his father. In the past few years Hades hadn't aged, not really. His eyes were a little deeper, his face was a little more weathered, but he looked relatively the same. There was a huge book in his lap and a pair of reading glasses in his hands as he looked at Nico. The problem, Nico thought just like every time his father looked at him, was that Hades really saw him, unlike everyone else. When Hades wanted to he could read every damn thought in Nico's head before Nico even had a chance to think them, and that really pissed him off some days.</p><p>Today though he was just tired.</p><p>"You carry a lot of weight around on your shoulders, Nico." Hades said, the living room was dark all except for a small lamp on the table beside the recliner Hades was seated in, and it didn't give off much light. His father was wreathed in the black of night but his eyes were glowing brightly, analytical and onyx as always. "You know if you want to talk your mother and I are here."</p><p><em>You're never here</em>, Nico wanted to say. If Hades was home it was during times like this, late at night when no one else even existed, otherwise he was off touring and on his book signing adventures. Nico's mother, Maria, refused to go with him most of the time. She said someone needed to be home, to take care of the house, of the children. Nico had never heard them fight about it but he was sure they did.</p><p>"I know." He said in a quiet, tired voice.</p><p>"I love you, son." Hades said, sitting up straight. "I don't say that enough."</p><p>"I love you too, Dad." Nico felt his eyes prickle but he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he really loved his father a lot, he thought, or maybe it was because he had a lot of things on his mind, or maybe he had just had a really long fucking day. Either way he was almost in tears and he didn't like that; he blinked hard and willed himself not to cry, something he was quite good at now. He straightened his shoulders, blinked again and on the outside he appeared fine. "I'm really tired, Dad. I'm going to bed, alright?"</p><p>Hades nodded, "Goodnight then, son. Sleep well."</p><p>"Thanks." Turning away he bolted up the stairs, upon entry into his room he ignored the dressers, and the clothing on the floor, and the posters on the wall, he ran straight to his bedside drawer, yanked it open.</p><p>There were two things staring at him immediately as he put aside the clothing that covered the small items at the very bottom of the drawer. He had almost cut his finger on the razor blade trying to pull out the small bottle right beside it. He grabbed the bottle and opened it. Digging out two pills he popped them into his mouth and screwed the cap back on the bottle. He laid down on the bed, it had been almost a year and a half since he'd taken his anti-depressants, and he wasn't even sure if they were still good, but he didn't want to feel anymore today. Pathetic as it may have sounded he really just didn't.</p><p>Sighing Nico closed his eyes, he contemplated skipping school tomorrow. He could fake sick like an Emmy nominated actor, his mother wouldn't force him to go and his father would probably already be gone somewhere, off writing.</p><p>Sighing again Nico realized he was still fully clothed in bed, he kicked his shoes off and didn't bother getting beneath the blankets.</p><p>Nico knew this was futile. He knew feeling depressed and sad about things made him a useless jackass, he knew there were people in the world, real people with real problems who were starving and without homes, and he knew that there were others still with much worse conditions out there.</p><p>He knew all of this and he felt all the worse for it, who was he, some speck of shit in the greater scheme of the universe, someone who perennially wished he were dead, someone who fucked around with a guy he knew would never actually feel anything for him, someone who took year old anti-depressant meds he told his parents he threw out, some little fuck-up with no real purpose who didn't have the right to feel like this, and yet he did.</p><p>With his eyes closed and his thoughts slowly turning quiet he fell asleep on the bed much the same way he did every night, belittling himself and his emotions.</p><p>It was never supposed to be like this, he finally thought, drifting off.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was darkness. But, how to describe it, that was the question, as this was no ordinary darkness. This transcended dark, this was blacker than black; this is what Nico imagined the world might look like if the sun were to burn out, something far worse than pitch black. Nico laid there in that inky murk for what felt like an eternity, unmoving, barely breathing, and sweating. His head spun and he was deaf except for a distinct buzzing in his ears. He wasn't sure if he could move or not, he didn't care to try. He couldn't exactly pinpoint his body in this sea of night; his consciousness was extended so far out that it felt impossible. He might have been strewn ten million miles across the universe, his physical form no longer existing, and he would have been okay with it.</p><p>Then there was a sharp, stinging pain across his cheek and he knew he was far from dead. Slowly but surely he opened his eyes, blinking back tears from either a forgotten dream or from the fact that his cheek was beginning to swell because of the attack it had just endured. Eyes like his were staring back at him, only these eyes were more cunning, more intelligent, and somehow more honest. That was probably the reason people liked Bianca more, when you looked at her you didn't think she was concealing things from you, hiding things away.</p><p>Nico stared at his sister, her dark hair pulled into a messy ponytail—the same one she wore when she went to bed, strands of hair falling into her face. She had sleep gathered in the corners of her eyes and was wearing her pajamas which consisted of a white tee-shirt and a teal pair of boy-shorts. Bianca was as skinny as he was, and her shape was not curvy but thin. She had a mole just above the right side of her mouth and her eyelashes were long. Her cheekbones were high and she had a small hoop piercing in her left nostril.</p><p>"Ow." Nico finally decided.</p><p>"<em>Jesus fucking Christ, Nico</em>!" She hissed at him. "You wouldn't wake up and your pulse was really slow, what the fuck did you take?"</p><p>"A couple anti-depressants," He shrugged, Bianca's lips became threateningly pursed, and Nico knew his sister was about to say something that would make him feel like shit for scaring her, it hadn't registered in his mind that taking pills that were two years old might have adverse affects, considering when he got home the night previous his system had contained other drugs as well. But, Bianca didn't say anything. In a rare moment of affection she hugged him close to her body. He was limp in the hug until she let go.</p><p>"Sorry." She said, her words a raspy whisper.</p><p>"S'okay." Nico shrugged, wiping at his nose. "Sorry I scared you."</p><p>Bianca sighed and closed her eyes. If she knew him like she claimed to she knew he was sorry, but that didn't mean it wouldn't happen again. "I wish you were more concerned with staying alive." Again her lips pursed like she wanted to say something, but most likely she felt like it was too early in the morning for an argument just yet.</p><p>Nico laughed, feeling like he needed a shower and to change out of yesterdays clothes. "You know I'm too much of a pussy to call it quits just yet, Bee." He said, not meeting her gaze, he knew it would be sympathetic, though, if he were to look up. The smile on his lips made it all the harder for Bianca to be mad at him.</p><p>"You're getting worse, Nico." Bianca said, crouching down to meet him eye level.</p><p>"Yup." Nico replied. "But its okay, I can handle it—"</p><p>"Handle it?" Bianca cut him off standing up abruptly. "I can't keep covering for you, Nico. Mom and Dad keep asking me if you're okay. They say you don't talk to them about school, or boys, or life, or anything and they're worried."</p><p>"Dad's worried because I don't talk to him about boys?" He asked swinging his legs over the side of the bed and running a hand through the tangled sleep nest otherwise known as his hair. "I think I'm the one who's worried now."</p><p>"Nico." She was serious.</p><p>"Sorry." He apologized again. "Can we do this later? I've still got to go to school."</p><p>"You always want to do this later, but later hardly ever comes. The guidelines of our agreement were that you let me in on your life and I keep your habits concealed from our parents, but you're making for a poor, unhealthy study, little brother, and I don't know if I can keep your secrets much longer." Nico was up the next moment staring his sister hard in the eyes.</p><p>"You wouldn't dare." He said, his head light from standing too quickly but he didn't give any ground.</p><p>"Don't let me catch you half dead again, Nico, or I swear we're going back to the hospital." It might have been too early for an argument but it looked like one was about to happen anyway.</p><p>Nico wasn't always so snide, but having just woken up and the fact that now a piercing sort of headache was creeping up on him and the fact that he felt like his sister was being completely unfair made him snap just a bit back at her, "Well then next time I'll make sure you don't catch me just <em>half </em>dead." He growled and pushed past her toward the bathroom. He should have known better than to say that, but the next thing he knew Bianca had his arm in her hand.</p><p>"Don't say that." Her grip was made of iron and her voice bordered sobbing. He looked over his shoulder at her, the one person who he felt completely understood him—even more than Frank and Leo and Rachel—and he was on the verge of saying he was sorry when he saw the first tears leave her eyes. "I'm trying Nico, okay? I want to make you better, I just haven't figured out <em>how </em>yet, and I'm so fucking sorry."</p><p>Nico's expression softened considerably, he sighed this time. "I'm just fucked up, okay? It happens; you might not be able to fix me, Bee. I hurt and I don't know why, and it's a dumb thing to be focused on. We've got to move on." He shrugged his arm out of her hand. "I'm going to take a shower; will you drop me off on your way to class?"</p><p>Bianca nodded, wiping her face. "Yeah." She said, and this was yet another conversation he knew she was going to bring back up whenever she could actually corner him for one of their "sessions" which mostly consisted of him telling her how he felt about things, she would ask questions and he would answer to the best of his abilities. They (the sessions) weren't things he looked forward to because Bianca was the one person he refused to bullshit. Not like he could anyway, she had the same infuriating ability their father had.</p><p>Grabbing a towel off the back of his computer chair he headed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. When he emerged, dried and teeth freshly brushed, after returning to his room and putting on deodorant he threw on a pair of white skinny jeans and a black and gray plaid button down with a comfortable pair of loafers on his feet. Drying his hair he quickly applied several handfuls of mousse, combed it, styled it, and set it. The curls atop his head shined with the product, one twirl of them hanging in front of his left eye. He smirked at himself for a moment because he wasn't vain and the fact that he still went through so much for someone who he was, as Leo put it, "casually fucking" almost made him want to laugh. He shook his head and heard the jingle of keys.</p><p>"Let's go." Bianca said, standing there in a tight hoody with the sleeves rolled up, her sports bra showing underneath, and a pair of all black workout capris. Her face was obviously washed as her eyes weren't showing with tears anymore and her hair had been combed, Nico decided she must have forgiven him for earlier.</p><p>"Going to the gym?" He wondered with a small smile, Bianca hated rhetorical questions.</p><p>"No, I'm just a fan of gym couture, dweeb. Get in the car," Then as an afterthought she added, "You know I look good." She did, but Nico would never admit that. No little brother, self respecting or not, would just causally compliment his sister like that, but he obeyed and followed her.</p><hr/><p>"Hey, dorkbutt." The morning's greeting from his redheaded friend was normal, to which Nico responded.</p><p>"Neither I, nor my glorious ass, are dorks." But he did smile a bit.</p><p>"I wouldn't call that thing glorious, more like nonexistent." Rachel grinned. Nico shot her a glare, "You have a really little butt, Nico. There's no getting around that. I'd be jealous if I were so inclined to feel any emotion other than awesomeness." With his right hand Nico mimicked a mouth and then in an affected voice he mocked Rachel, real mature like, miming the words with his hand in a falsetto that sounded nothing like her.</p><p>"Hey guys," Frank said, walking up to them looking despairing as he normally did in the morning. His grandmother drove him to school, and if there was one thing you could not call her it was loveable. He LOVED her, of course, but she made it incredibly difficult. From time to time he would imitate her voice for them—a group trade, obviously—which always garnered laughs. 'Frank, why you don't have girlfriend?' He would say. 'Frank, you're grades slip. You should study harder and stop looking at all those lady friends of yours.' His imitation of her was shrill and horrifyingly similar to the woman herself on the few occasions Nico had ever heard her speak. Otherwise she just sort of scrutinized everything with an incredibly scrunched up expression on her face as if she had just smelled the world's worst scent. "What are we talking about?"</p><p>"Nico's ass," Rachel volunteered.</p><p>"More like lack thereof," Frank laughed.</p><p>"Oh, hardy-har-har." Nico glared still. "I'm done talking about my ass."</p><p>"Which one? The one clinging for dear life on the end of your body or Octavian?" Leo's voice made Nico jump, he whirled around, face red and almost as scrunched up as Frank's grandmother's, and opened his mouth to unleash a verbal lashing on his best friend. "Kidding, geez."</p><p>"I swear to God, you people." Nico grumbled. "Why did I become friends with any of you?" He sat down at their lunch table, which is where they always met before classes, across from Rachel.</p><p>"Because we're the only gay, bi, polysexual people at this school who are cool enough not to hide it." Leo supplied.</p><p>"Because you love me." Was Rachel's answer.</p><p>"Because I'm the only one who never <em>really</em> makes fun of you?" Frank grinned.</p><p>"Frank has a valid point, you two though…" Nico gave them both a meaningful look and then just shook his head. "Did you get that test overview done for Chem, Rachel? I need to look over it." Rachel rolled her eyes, nodded, and dove into her bag.</p><p>"Copy this quickly, bring it back to me before class." She said, as always very stern about her homework.</p><p>"Not like you haven't memorized it," Leo laughed.</p><p>"It is the principle of the matter, Mr. Valdez," Rachel replied smartly, "if I continue to let you boys copy my notes how will you learn anything?"</p><p>"We won't, we'll fail." Frank answered, which earned a laugh from his three friends.</p><p>"At least I know I'm appreciated for my mind amongst you three instead of my body." Rachel smiled. "'Cept you Frankie, I know you got a big ole crush on me." It never ceased to amaze how quickly Frank's cheek went red and Rachel laughed again, grabbing his face with her hands. "Adorable." She stood up. "I gotta jet boys, for once I'd like not to be late to first period."</p><p>"Quitter!" Leo shouted at her retreating back, her hand shot into the air, middle finger straight up, and then she was gone. "Ah, who needs her?" Leo turned to Nico and Frank. "So are we on for Cove tonight, gents? And Nico you're not allowed to say no, you bailed on me last night. Not even so much as a text. I had to deal with Rachel on my own and she tried to straighten my hair again."</p><p>Frank made a sound that showed his sympathy, the last time Rachel had tried straightening Leo's hair most of it had been horribly burned and he cut the rest of it off, it had taken the entire year to grow back in properly. This time it didn't look like any damage had occurred, but Leo didn't look too happy about it. And there was no telling Rachel no when it came to things, she was very persuasive.</p><p>"I'll go if Nico goes," Frank decided.</p><p>"I—"</p><p>"Luckily Nico doesn't have a choice then, Frankie." Leo smiled mischievously, that damn imp-like grin of his. "Besides, it'll do you some good to be around guys who aren't antisocial assholes that only text you when they want to fuck."</p><p>"You're right; I'll just be around guys who have total raging hard-ons trying to fuck whatever's closest. Such a nice change of pace," Nico's voice wasn't yet venom, but it had a sour tone that both Frank and Leo knew meant they had breached a topic he didn't want to talk about.</p><p>"Okay, what happened last night?" Leo asked, his eyes turning hard.</p><p>"Nothing happened." Nico shrugged, grabbing his bag as if to stand but, when Frank's hand landed on his arm Nico didn't pull away and instead stayed seated. He fixed his eyes on the table. "We just had a stupid fight 'cause I called out someone else's name when he was fucking me, then I went home and took some anti-depressants. That's all."</p><p>Frank was quiet for a moment, and all eyes turned to him. He hated to hear that Nico took pills on the rare occasion that it happened, especially if they were unprescribed. "Your <em>two-year </em>old anti-depressants? Why didn't you call me?" He asked, staring hard.</p><p>"It was late, and I wasn't thinking." Nico shrugged.</p><p>"That's no excuse," Frank replied, sounding hurt and Nico couldn't take that, he looked away. "Did you cut?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Did you?" Frank asked again, this time his voice was deep and serious and unlike the normally cheerful, and albeit awkward guy they knew this was the part of Frank that was his best quality. He was a good friend and Nico looked at him directly in the eyes when he answered.</p><p>"I swear I didn't." He said truthfully.</p><p>Leo always took a different tactic than Frank; he seemed more upset than surprised. "Whose name did you call out?" He asked, but by the look on his face he already knew. Nico didn't answer and Leo sighed. "Nico, man, that guy broke your heart, stomped it into pieces, and then shit all over it. Fuck him, that was years ago. You can't stay hung up on him." Then, before there was time for retaliation, Leo grabbed Nico's lips by his forefinger and thumb. "Ah! No, no yelling you emotionally volatile drama queen you. That settles it then, you're coming out with me and Frank and Rachel tonight, wear something not shitty."</p><p>"None of my clothes are shitty," Nico said between Leo's lips, his eyes a bit wet. The other young man let go and grabbed his hand.</p><p>"You don't have to keep doing this to yourself, I don't know how many time I'll have to say that. You're so much better than your heartbreak, Nico. We want you to be happy." He said softly and Nico nodded, apologizing. "Just get to class, okay?" The late bell rang. "Guess we'd better all get there actually." They stood up, Frank rubbing Nico's back and Leo still holding his hand. "You know Rachel's going to be pissed you didn't tell her you took those pills, she told you to throw them away, they can't be any good."</p><p>"That's why we're not going to tell Rachel," Nico said, moving to grab his bag. "Right?"</p><p>"She worries about you just as much as we do." Frank replied.</p><p>"You guys worry too much, you have a lot on your own plate." Nico shook his head. "God I'm fucking selfish."</p><p>Frank waved him off with a small smile, "We gotta be selfish sometimes, Nico. Sometimes it just feels like no one else cares and fuck them if they don't, so we deal."</p><p>"Frank…" The second tardy bell rang.</p><p>"Class," Frank said pushing Nico towards the door. "We'll talk later." Leo's class—American History—was in the same general direction as Nico's—CP English—so when Frank headed off to gym, his least favorite period, Nico looked at Leo.</p><p>"Am I a horrible person? I feel like Frank needs someone to talk to and I'm just drowning in my own bullshit."</p><p>"Yes, you are the worst person." Leo smiled. "Worrying about your friend, even though you're depressed and can't have a good goddamn emotion ever to save your life, and yet you still feel bad because you want so much to help. Horrible. The worst."</p><p>"You're an ass and I never know when you're being serious," Nico said, though he couldn't help the small smile on his lips, his friends were bad influences like that. Leo nudged him with his elbow and Nico leaned his head on the other boy's shoulder. "Thank you, again. I don't know what I'd do without you guys."</p><p>Leo looked like he was going to make a snarky comeback, but then a grave expression crossed his face at the possibilities of what Nico might have done without them. All the times he had talked Nico down from doing some rather rash things flashed through his mind, he stared at his friend for a moment, adoration and sympathy in his eyes, and said, "Let's just not think about it." Then he sent Nico on his way to his class and hurried on to History to receive his millionth demerit for being late.</p><hr/><p>The day passed uneventfully, lunch, the rest of their classes, and finally their end-of-the-day powwow at the usual lunch table. The talk was mostly directed by Leo, of all the things they would do tonight at Cove—The Blue Cove, actually, which was an LGBTQ club—and how he was jonesing for at least one hot guy to make-out with.</p><p>Not too much later Nico got the text from his father that he had arrived, he told his friend he would see them later and quickly exited the school finding his dad in the usual pick up zone. Getting in the car they did their awkward thing, "How was school?"</p><p>"Fine," Nico answered as Hades pulled off.</p><p>"Good," Then the quiet would take over for the rest of the ride, in normal situations.</p><p>This, however, was not a normal situation, apparently. Nico was thinking to himself how California was different in many way from New York, like how here people actually expected him to get a license. Sure, he could just ride the train or bus but most kids his age had theirs and it was a rite of passage. Traffic was different, that was for sure. It was still city traffic, backed up every day before five, but it was different. People actually got places here, it didn't feel like such a hassle to jump in the car and wait an hour or two before everyone started throwing slurs around.</p><p>Not to say Nico liked it here.</p><p>He had grown accustomed to it, made friends, he couldn't stop living his life just because of the move. But New York would always have his heart. He missed hot dog stands on busy street corners, he missed that bum that hung out underneath the walkway in Central Park, and he even missed the smell of the paper mill when he walked by the industrial district. California was too sunny for him, Nico's skin was sensitive and living here he had developed a secondhand tan. He only spent so many minutes outside (unless he was forced to go to the beach—was happened far more frequently than he wanted it to) and yet his skin was almost perennially a deep, rich brown now. He had the tan lines to prove it.</p><p>But, with the window rolled down and traffic not at a standstill and the aroma of salt and surf in the air, the sun beating down gently on his brow and the radio just loud enough Nico guessed this wasn't horrible. He wasn't always so depressed, just when he thought too much—which was almost always. He pulled his legs up to his chest, laying his left arm on top of his knee his right hanging out of the open window.</p><p>As if reading his thoughts Hades said, "Nico," his eyes didn't move from the road. Nico looked over at his father. This was one of the rare moments they got together when he picked Nico up from school. He tried to do it every day, he knew how important it was for a boy to have his father in his life, and even if they only lived thirty minutes away from the school Hades enjoyed what little time they could briefly be alone.</p><p>"Hm?" Nico asked, watching the passing cars and tapping a staccato against his leg.</p><p>"I've been thinking," Oh, no. "Son, I know I'm not around a lot right now."</p><p>"Dad, really. If we're having some kind of moment here I'd rather we didn't," Nico said with a little laugh. "I'm not a little kid anymore, okay? I know you have your work; it takes up your time. It's alright." To Nico's great amusement a small smile broke the corners of his father's mouth.</p><p>"You're too much like me, kid. That's not a good thing," Hades laughed, his dark eye rested on Nico for a second. "So, let's forgo all that mushy "having a moment" drivel and try this then, huh? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of you." His expression relayed just that, a warm bit of compassion gathered on his face and Nico wasn't sure how to process it. It looked so foreign there, where normally there was no expression.</p><p>"I'm fifteen, don't be too proud of me just yet." Nico returned.</p><p>"Let's pretend like I don't know you do stuff that would make me shit bricks for a minute and how about you just take the compliment?"</p><p>Nico laughed, "Thanks, Dad." And he felt a pang of guilt because he <em>did </em>do things he knew his father would shit bricks about, and he had a sneaking suspicion just now that Hades was aware of a great deal of them. Or, if not aware, then he was very obviously aware that <em>something </em>was going on in Nico's life. "Any reason you're bringing this up?" He wondered absently. Hades was suddenly quiet which caused Nico to look over at him again. Nico's dad was ageless, he had a high, regal brow and thick Italian eyebrows. His nose was slender and straight, and his eyes were spaced just far enough apart. His mouth was, like his son's, petulant. Normally found in a very apathetic and thin line but now it was down turned. "Dad…" Nico said, this was the most they had spoken in a while.</p><p>"Like I said, I'm proud of you. But, son…" Hades' knuckles whitened as he gripped the steering wheel tighter, he bit his lip and started over again. "I have some business this Summer," He said after a moment. "In NYC." His eyes shifted over to Nico, who looked a little startled. He never normally talked about his business trips, especially if it pertained to New York City.</p><p>"What kind of business?" He asked, sounding very much like he was trying to sound flippant, and not actually sounding flippant at all.</p><p>"My publisher wants me to go to a few meetings," Hades replied, trying to sound like it wasn't a big deal. "There's talk of moving me to a bigger company, which would mean a bigger paycheck."</p><p>"I always thought you liked writing because you liked expressing yourself," Nico said.</p><p>"I also like taking care of my family," Hades countered with a meaningful expression. "Look, Nico, it won't be for long, just the Summer."</p><p>"Oh," Nico said quietly. "well have fun then. I'll look after the house, that's no big deal."</p><p>"Nico, I'm not going to leave you alone for an entire Summer. There would be no house to come home to. I'm taking you with us—your mother and me. Bianca is enrolling in some Summer classes here and she's got a dorm,"</p><p>"Dad that's not fair—" Nico protested</p><p>"I know you got hurt, and I'm sorry that the world was cruel to you. You have to understand that I will always fight for you, and that I will do everything in my power to protect you. But you're going, Nico."</p><p>"Dad—"</p><p>"Besides, there's no guarantee that you'll even see—"</p><p>"Don't." Nico's voice broke. "Don't say his fucking name, Dad." Hades' expression became deeply concerned.</p><p>"Okay," Hades sighed heavily. "Fuck. Okay. Shit." Then he cursed more under his breath. "Look, what I just said was a crock of shit. Yes, I'm going back for a new deal with my publishers, I go back to NYC a lot so that's neither here nor there. But, your mother and I think it might do you some good, there's someone we want you to see." They pulled into their driveway.</p><p>"To see?" Nico asked, having trouble understanding.</p><p>"Do you think we're oblivious, Nico? Do you think I don't see how sad you are? We talked to a child therapist—"</p><p>"Oh good! Now I'm crazy too!"</p><p>"—and she thinks that confronting your problem head on is the best way for you to feel better."</p><p>"Okay," Nico was getting angrier the more his father talked. "Let me get this straight. You and Mom, without even talking to me, went to the freaking psyche ward because you guys think <em>I'm </em>sad about something instead of being, I don't know, rational and adult about the whole thing and just asking me what I was sad about?"</p><p>"There <em>is </em>no talking to you, Nico. You're shut up inside, you don't want to talk to us."</p><p>Before Nico could stop it the emotion roiled out of his throat in a scream, "How would you know?" He ripped the seatbelt off, jumping out of the car. "How would you know, huh? You said it yourself, you're never here!" Suddenly hot tears of anger and frustration and surprise were streaking down his cheeks, and even more surprising was the fact that Hades looked hurt by this statement. Maria was suddenly at the door. Her hair pulled up into a loose bun and her reading glasses pushed up on her nose, there was a towel in her hands as she had been cleaning up around the kitchen.</p><p>"What's going on out here?" She asked, staring from her son to husband.</p><p>"I told Nico about NYC and Dr. Kirshbaum. The result is as you feared," Hades said, fingers gripping the bridge of his nose.</p><p>"You just outright told him?" Maria asked. "Honey, you have <em>got </em>to have more tact than that." She wiped her hands off on the towel she was holding and sat it on her shoulder. "Nico, sweetie." She said coming outside. "I'm sorry your father just sprung this on you, we were going to gradually introduce you to the idea." But Nico was quiet, he didn't have anything to say to his parents. He felt hurt and betrayed. His mother's eyes softened. "Nico…"</p><p>"Just leave me alone," He rasped out, walking past her, past Bianca, who was now staring out of the door, and went directly into his room. Maria's hand was clutching at her heart; her husband stood beside her and patted her shoulder.</p><p>"He's not gonna talk to me for a while so you should probably be the one to check up on him," Hades said. Maria sighed.</p><p>"You know how volatile he is, why would you just tell him like that?"</p><p>"The kid made a good point; I can't keep treating him like a child. I told him man to man, I said 'fuck it' and just told him. He's not a baby, and he'll see it our way when he's sitting in Dr. Kirshbaum's office. You were the one who wanted to go see the therapist."</p><p>"Hades," Maria gave him a very stern look, her mouth becoming a thin, pursed line. "Do <em>not</em> try to make this my fault. I'll try to have a talk with him, but you know you're going to have to be the one to deal with him when we get there, and he is not going to make it easy on you."</p><p>But what they didn't notice was that Bianca was two bounds from the top of the stairs, she came to the landing, spun towards Nico's room, and in a flash broke in. She didn't try the knob as she knew it would have been locked, instead she used her credit card to jimmy open the door. "Put it down." She said very seriously. Nico stared up at her, his eyes full of hurt. In his hands was a small, silvery razor. The same one he'd almost accidentally cut himself on the night previous. He had it pressed against the side of his hip, a spot that wouldn't warrant too many questions as not a lot of people ever saw him without pants. Well, no one that he didn't want to. There were several bleeding lines already and he moved to cut again, breaking the skin open and releasing a strangled yelp of pain. Bianca closed his door and was on him in seconds.</p><p>She grabbed him by the wrists, her brother was so slim she could hold them both in one hand, and she plucked the tool out from between his fingers very forcibly. "Give it back!" Nico growled. She pushed him hard onto the bed and was not moved by the tears now falling out of his eyes.</p><p>"This," She said brandishing the razor at him, "is not how to make yourself feel better!" Her voice was restrained, but the anger in her words made Nico shudder. "What the actual fuck, Nico? Why? This doesn't solve anything, if anything it hurts you more than helps you."</p><p>"I don't care." Nico cried. "Bianca they're making me go back. They're sending me to New York to 'confront my problems' and I don't even know what that means, but they think I'm crazy. All this time I thought I was hiding it, I didn't even think Dad actually noticed—I-I mean, I know he figured I wasn't happy, but I'm a fucking teenager. He shouldn't just jump to the conclusion that I need psychological help."</p><p>"Said the boy gripping his bleeding, self-inflicted injuries." Bianca replied coldly. "I can't keep doing this Nico. I can't keep covering for you. I told you if you did something like this again I'd have to tell them everything." She sighed staring at the bloody razor in her hand. "God, I was so stupid thinking I could help. I haven't even started my real psych training yet, I'm not even a fucking intern. Look at you, Nico. Maybe you should accept someone's help for once instead of pushing it away." She watched his eyes grow dim until they reminded her of coals and she knew that he had tuned her out, she knew that she had just lost a very special connection with him. "Fine, be that way. But you know they'll make you go, and you know you need it." Bianca whirled around to his bedside drawer and ripped it open with the hand not holding the razor, before Nico could even react she pulled out the bottle of pills and made for the door.</p><p>Nico sat there, stunned beyond moving and beyond words.</p><hr/><p>An hour or so passed and it occurred to him that his phone was ringing, he found it on the floor and answered. "Hello?" He asked, his voice shaky. He reached up and touched his cheek and noticed that he was still crying.</p><p>"You alright, Nico?" Leo asked from the other end. Nico was the kind of person who bottled it all up; he ignored whoever was knocking on his door. Glad that Bianca had at least shut it on her way out, ignored the barbed pain in his chest and the throbbing pulse of heat at his side where he'd recently cut very deeply, he had his hand pressed against the wound but it was still bleeding pretty freely, he'd have to suture it up soon.</p><p>"Yeah," He said, this time his voice was made of stone, emotionless and barren. "I'm good."</p><p>"Oh, cause it sounded like you were crying, man."</p><p>"No, just stretching." Nico lied effortlessly, his eyes hurt and his head was beginning to spin. "What's up?" He stood, steadied himself against the wall, and went to his armoire. Holding the phone to his face with his shoulder he grabbed a needle and thread and began to work on his cuts, sewing up the deepest ones. He had lacerated far into his side, pink meat staring back at him gruesomely as his shaking fingers worked.</p><p>"I'm on my way over, we're gonna stop by and get Frank and then meet Rachel at the club. You got your ID?" Leo sounded excited, meanwhile Nico was mechanically stitching himself up watching with mild fascination as the needle poked in through one end and out through the other. The string had been blue but was now black with blood.</p><p>"In my wallet," He answered. "When do you think you'll be here, I have to clean up before I can go out."</p><p>"Uh, twenty minutes, probably." Leo guestimated. "You know how I am behind the wheel."</p><p>"Like a grandma," Nico replied, which caused a laugh. "Cool, I should be ready by then. See you."</p><p>"Sayonara." Nico hung up, he changed his shirt and went to his door, unlocking it he strolled casually to the bathroom and washed the blood from his hands, wiping down the faucet and handles where he had touched them with toilet paper, which he promptly flushed. Just as quickly he grabbed a healing salve and a gigantic band-aid from the first aid kit his mother kept under the bathroom sink and rubbed some ointment on his new, unprofessional stitches. It burned but he bit his lip through the pain and applied the band-aid next. Putting his supplies away he went to the linen closet just across from the bathroom, grabbed sheets for his bed, and strolled quickly back to his room, closing the door behind him. In a flurry of movement he had the sheets off the bed, flipped the mattress, and replaced them. He took off his bloody pants, and then even his underwear as it had seeped into them as well, and put them in his dirty clothes hamper, thankful that he washed his own laundry. Then he set to cleaning up the blood he had dripped on the floor. He decided since his sheets were already dirty he may as well wipe it up with them. After that was done he threw them in the hamper as well.</p><p>When that task was done he scanned the room, it looked relatively clean—which is how he kept it, so he moved over to his own closet. He was mindful of his wound, it throbbed terribly when he moved, but he was glad he cut so deep now. It distracted him from thoughts like how he was going to get those pills back from Bianca without her noticing. Or worse yet maybe asking O for something a little stronger. He pulled down a blue-and-white plaid shirt and a black sleeveless vest, then he found a clean pair of underwear and donned a pair of black skinnies, stepping into an equally black pair of Converse he made his way over to his vanity. Spraying a hint of cologne and rubbing a small, untraceable, absolutely deniable amount of concealer on his face to hide the dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he'd been crying; he felt ready.</p><p>Looking around one last time nothing was amiss, he stared in the mirror and almost smiled. The person staring back at him looked nothing like he felt. The concealer evened his skin out, he had an almost healthy glow now. He liked his hair, it was messy and disheveled and he hadn't even spent hours trying to get it that way. Still, regardless of what he looked like on the outside he had to keep his inside emotion in check. Leo always noticed when something was wrong, and Frank and Rachel were empaths so his thoughts had to stay away from anything to do with his family.</p><p>Opening the door to his room he walked into the hallway, Bianca was staring at him from her door. He only stared back for a moment and then turned away, heading downstairs. She wouldn't rat him out until he had left.</p><p>His phone vibrated in his pocket, it was a text from Leo proclaiming himself almost to the door. "I'm going out." Nico announced, he knew they could hear him. His mother was the first to emerge from the living room, her hair was still up in a messy bun but she looked to be done cleaning for now.</p><p>"Nico, we really need to talk."</p><p>"We will when I get back." He said, checking to be sure that he had his wallet and keys.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Hades asked, standing tall and foreboding behind Maria.</p><p>Restraining himself from any snide comments he settled on the half-truth. "To Frank's with Leo, then we're going to meet Rachel," Before they could inquire further he tacked on, "I feel like I need to be around people who don't blindside me for a little bit." And his voice rang acidic, he could almost taste it in his throat but decided it was bile from his stomach. His mother opened her mouth but closed it and Hades looked neither pleased nor displeased, the doorbell rang. Good old Leo, always on time. "Don't wait up," Nico threw over his shoulder and pushed his friend out of the door before he could greet his parents.</p><p>As Nico was closing the door he heard his mother say, "I told you he wouldn't make this easy."</p><p>To which his father replied, "Fuck." And he had to smile a little to himself.</p><p>"So…" Leo said as he started up his Jeep, the thing was almost as old as he was but still worked like new thanks to Leo's craft with vehicles. "Mind telling me what that was about?"</p><p>"What was was about?" Nico wondered innocently.</p><p>"There was a lot of bad energy in that air, man. You're not going to tell me that you and your parents had a fight and now you're taking it out on them by doing something, anything?"</p><p>"We had a fight, it's over now, and for the moment I'm making them suffer, yes." Nico replied.</p><p>"What was the fight about?" Leo wondered.</p><p>"I'll tell you when everyone's together, otherwise I'll be repeating myself all night." Nico replied. "Just drop it for now, it was bullshit."</p><p>"Bullshit is never good," Leo replied.</p><p>"No," Nico decided. "not at all."</p><hr/><p>Frank's grandmother wasn't nearly as likely to let him leave as Nico's parents were. She stood underneath him at the door, a tall four foot nine, pinch-faced and hands on her hips. Her still black hair was shot all throughout with a mix of iron grey and white, pulled up high into an elaborate knot at the top of her head. She walked with a cane but she stood upright and walked with little trouble.</p><p>"Where are you taking him?" She glared over the top of her thick glasses. "He should be studying."</p><p>"Mother," Frank's mom came out of the house behind her, she was a very stunning woman with caramel brown eyes and golden skin, her hair a thick, black curtain. "Frankie, go have fun, baby." She kissed his cheek and Frank hugged her, he was definitely a momma's boy.</p><p>"You spoil him," His grandmother complained. "you make him soft, go inside and study."</p><p>"Mother." Emily Zhang, Frank's mom, laughed. "You cannot keep him cooped up in this house all day, you boys have fun. Don't listen to her," She put her hands on her mother's shoulders. This time Frank's grandmother was silent, but she still looked as if she wanted to protest. Then again that could have just been the way her face was.</p><p>"Thanks Mom!" Frank called over his shoulder; quickly they jumped into Leo's Jeep before his grandmother could say anything else. She might have let Emily take the wind out of her sails for the moment but it wouldn't have lasted very long. Grandma Zhang was very set on being the head of the family. "Oh, God, that's always murder."</p><p>"You're telling me, we were the ones who had to watch." Leo said with a grin.</p><p>Nico was quiet while his friends talked the entire way to the club, Frank would occasionally stare back at him from the front seat but Nico knew his face must have relayed how much he didn't want to talk about whatever it was that was on his mind. He stayed silent until they pulled up outside of the club. Its neon blue sign proclaiming it to be The Blue Cove and the mass amount of people pouring into it proclaimed just how busy it was. The building was huge with several back rooms, but for the most part it was a gigantic dance floor and bar. Nico was normally one for "the scene" as it was called, hooking up with random strangers. Most times he didn't go much further than making-out with them, or oral, but there was the occasional fuck among the bunch. Tonight, though, tonight he really wasn't feeling the club.</p><p>They stepped out of the old Jeep, the sky above head was awash of pink and gray as the sun slowly descended into the horizon and the wind shifted. A sweet smell hit Nico's nose, familiar and expensive perfume, and he looked to his right. Rachel was walking towards them, a loose top – the left shoulder of which was hanging to the middle of her, showing her bare, beautiful skin – was cinched around her waist by a large, black Chanel belt. The black jeans on her legs looked sinful, as if by merely putting them on she had created lust; her feet adorned sensible black dancing heels. Long loops of necklaces hung from her neck, silver and gold, and bangles of diamond hung on her wrists. She smiled at them, a white, blinding smile. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, the bangs on her forehead were all evenly cut just at her brow, and Nico knew he would be getting no attention from any drunk straight guys tonight if she was standing next to him.</p><p>"Don't stare boys, it's not polite," She laughed, handing Frank her clutch. "Put this under the front seat, I don't think I want to take it in."</p><p>"Sure, if we're mugged in there they'll just take your diamonds and gold," Leo said, a hint of jealousy in his voice.</p><p>"This is cubic zirconium for your information," Rachel said holding up the wristlet. "A pretty nicely cut fake, but still fake. You think I'd wear real diamonds anywhere that wasn't a black tie party?"</p><p>"Just the fact that you <em>have </em>real diamonds should say what I think." Frank laughed. "I'm jealous."</p><p>"Don't be, Frankie. Your birthday's coming up soon," She grinned. "Anyway, are we gonna stand out here gawking at me or are we going to go inside and get hit on by hot, older men? Both are fine by me, just so we know."</p><p>"There's a vanity issue in this group," Frank laughed, though he looked as nice as Nico with his all white button down, the sleeves of which were rolled up showing off his powerful arms and the first three buttons of which were undone. He wore modest blue jeans underneath that fit him well and probably his nicest pair of sneakers.</p><p>"Between Leo and Rachel you and I have no need to be vain," Nico said, consenting to a small smile.</p><p>"He speaks!" Leo nearly shouted. "Oh speak again, forsake thy father and thy name, fair Romeo, and tell me what the hell happened earlier at your house." Nico rolled his eyes and sighed but quickly told them what had happened. "So your dad wants you to see a shrink, go and get it over with. It's just a Summer thing." Nico scoffed, surprised that Leo of all people didn't understand why he was so upset.</p><p>"No, he feels pretty crappy cause his dad just sprung this on him last minute," Frank said. "I don't even think it's the fact that they're making him see a therapist."</p><p>Nico shrugged, "I mean I've seen a whole bunch of them before, I'm tired of going. They don't help."</p><p>"You never give them anything to help with." Rachel chimed in.</p><p>"That's neither here nor there. How long did it take for me to open up to you guys?" He wondered.</p><p>"A year," Rachel counted.</p><p>"About eight months," Frank said.</p><p>"Two weeks, bitches!" Leo chortled, Nico rolled his eyes.</p><p>"You're an exception, and you know why."</p><p>"Because I wouldn't fuck you."</p><p>"Firstly, I didn't <em>want </em>you to fuck me." Nico corrected, "and since we're in this vein you're a really shitty date. You took me to a freaking car show."</p><p>"It's not my fault you can't appreciate classic cars," Leo shrugged.</p><p>"Anyway, it was easier with you cause you were going through the something similar." Nico didn't know why Leo always made him spell things out. Leo knew why he'd been so open so quickly, he probably just liked hearing it. Some ego boost or something.</p><p>"Ah, Darren. He was so pretty, too bad he cheated on me." Again Leo shrugged.</p><p>"Yeah. But, you guys know it takes me a long time, I've been working on it but it's not really doing anything…" He sighed. "Anyway, I thought we were all doing stuff this Summer. Camping and shit, and I really don't want to leave you guys." No one cracked any jokes, or said anything about the fact that Nico hated camping, instead Leo put an arm around his shoulders.</p><p>"There'll be other Summers. Besides, any time you spend with me is guaranteed to be awesome. Come on, you'll probably be back before September anyway so we'll still hang out."</p><p>"Not that we ever do anything but hang out," Rachel smirked.</p><p>"Exactly!" Leo exclaimed. "Now come on, let's go get drunk and forget all of our troubles." Leo handed Frank the keys. "Mr. No Alcohol make sure you don't give these back to me until I've sobered up."</p><p>"Of course not, I'll probably end up driving your butt back home." Frank laughed, snatching up the keys. Leo laughed too, agreeing, and without any word they started heading towards the club. Nico wasn't sure what he was going to do, back in his hometown, away from his lifelines. He wasn't sure what he would do if he ran into…into that boy, probably more a man than a boy now. He didn't know if he could handle it, but he knew he most definitely didn't want to.</p><p>Nico also knew that he was not leaving this place sober, especially if Rachel got drunk first and started paying for all the shots like she was prone to doing. He knew that he would never have greater friends than he did now, and any extended time away from them was going to feel like torture.</p><p>Goddamn it, he thought as they walked into Cove and then he gave over to steady growing pulse of music and decided he didn't give a fuck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world was brilliant and nothing was ever wrong; the lights were iridescent balls of fuzz floating in the air and the atmosphere was perfect and out of focus, warm and homey; almost delirious. There were so many people around, all of them beautiful, and everything seemed euphoric.</p><p>Nico was drunk. Not a new occurrence, but he was the sort of drunk where things are perfect and infinite and unimpeachably wonderful. There was a tall man wrapped around him, he had a nice smile and beautiful mocha skin that was soft to the touch. They had been dancing now for some time, and Nico knew his name started with a 'C' but he couldn't recall it for the life of him. Their bodies were gyrating to the song playing in the background and he had lost his friends about an hour ago.</p><p>"God, you're wild." The tall, dark young man whispered in his ear. Nico stared into his coffee brown eyes and smiled hugely. He didn't have a reply, conversation had left him, he was trying to stay in the utter perfection that was his inebriation, how utopian it was, how sharp-edged and colorful things were. "Do you wanna go somewhere a little quieter?" Nico nodded and he followed behind, hand in hand, with the guy whose name was just on the tip of his tongue.</p><p>The Blue Cove was the kind of place that encouraged sex. Sex brought customers back. People would buy drinks so they could lose their inhibitions and then go back to the backrooms, so that meant that other people would pay a lot of money to get in to the club to have sex with those people, which meant that Cove could charge almost whatever they wanted for admission and for drinks. The backrooms were private booths sectioned off by black partitions, matched with black sofas and low lighting.</p><p>Nico found himself on one of these sofas, his companion whose name started with a 'C' closed the curtain so that wandering eyes wouldn't happen over them. "You're…pretty," The guy admitted as he came in more, staggering and slightly less drunk than Nico. "I mean, I know that's not a compliment for a dude, but you are. I mean, I didn't even know guys could be…I'm sorry, I'll stop talking."</p><p>Nico laughed, "No, please. No one ever tells me how attractive I am, it's nice to hear."</p><p>"Your sarcasm is duly noted," Was the reply.</p><p>"I'm serious." Nico said, all trace of humor gone from him. "I mean, my boyfriend doesn't even text me unless he wants to fuck, my fuck-buddies and I don't really talk, the boy I was madly in love with broke my heart what, four years ago? And I'm still reeling from that, so by all means, it's nice to hear."</p><p>"I've got one better for you," The guy sat down and Nico wanted to run his hands through his curly afro hair, it looked so soft and inviting. "The girl I'm in love with used me, took my virginity, broke my heart, and then ran off into the sunset because she said I wasn't ready for a relationship with her." He smirked, a drink that Nico just noticed and that he must have acquired on the way to the backrooms in his hand, "but its her decision, if she doesn't think we're right together than I can't do anything about that."</p><p>Nico smirked too, in that moment of confession he knew they were kindred souls, "I bet she was beautiful."</p><p>"Gorgeous," Was the reply. "Utterly flooring, caramel skin, long, long black hair. She had these eyes, man. Smoky and exhilarating and they made me question my own existence when she looked at me. They stripped me down to my core, and under her gaze I could see into the universe."</p><p>"She sounds dangerous, what was her name?"</p><p>"Zia Rashid." Name Starts with 'C' said. "And I liked the danger. Driving down curvy roads a hundred miles an hour, shoplifting, movie hopping, cliff diving, parasailing, we were adrenaline junkies. But, I couldn't keep up with her. She's so alien from everything I am. I'm straight laced, I'm a suit, I work in an office, my parents were archeologists that should tell you how vanilla I am."</p><p>"I don't think you're vanilla," Nico kissed his neck. "I think you just met a goddess wearing the skin of a beautiful girl, and we're just mortals. We can't keep up with the divine."</p><p>"Was that boy of yours divine?" 'C' finished his drink, he was almost laying on Nico, their lips were close and his left hand was running up and down the length of Nico's right side.</p><p>Nico shook his head, "No." He said. "He was just a boy and I was young and my heart was still soft." He pushed their heads together. "Why are you in a gay club if you had a girlfriend?"</p><p>That made 'C' smile, "Because I want to be," He said. "I can enjoy the company of a man, especially one as beautiful as you."</p><p>"Are you so forward normally, or are you just very drunk?"</p><p>"You have so many questions, but I'm usually much more reserved."</p><p>CARTER! His name was Carter. "Carter," Nico said and Carter smiled.</p><p>"Yes, Nico?" He replied, leaning down and placing his lips on Nico's and for a moment Nico was lost. Carter was an excellent kisser, he was draped between Nico's legs, one of which was hanging off the side of the couch, and he was holding the younger boy close. One arm wrapped around him and the other holding Nico's face. Carter moved down to Nico's neck, biting it, sucking at it, and biting it again.</p><p>"Carter," He said. "I am incredibly drunk."</p><p>"As am I." Carter replied.</p><p>"I'm also sixteen." Carter stopped. There was lucidity in his intoxicated eyes, a resounding sort at that. They had a staring contest for a good fifteen seconds and Carter smiled nervously.</p><p>"You're kidding, right?" He asked.</p><p>"No," Nico said pulling out his school ID and handing it to Carter. "I've been having a shitty life and I didn't even want to come to the club tonight, but my friends think it'll do me some good. And I'm already putting one guy in danger of statutory, I don't want to do the same to you."</p><p>Carter slowly untangled himself from Nico, he wiped his mouth. "You act very mature for your age." He said handing him back his school badge, which Nico put away.</p><p>"Early heartbreak, spiraling depression, multiple therapists, and a lot of drugs'll do that to you." Nico laughed. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you, I can still blow you if want me to. I give an awesome blowjob."</p><p>"That's not necessary." Carter said. "No, I'm okay; I'll just go home and jerk-off or something."</p><p>"Do you still think it?" Nico wondered, leaning back against the couch cushion, he could hear the music still and he wanted another drink because the world was losing its shiny, splendid quality.</p><p>"Think what?"</p><p>"That I'm beautiful?"</p><p>"Of course," Carter looked at him. "So very beautiful, Nico. If you had been around when I was sixteen I probably wouldn't be bi, or bi-curious, or whatever the hell I am. But I've got bad luck. Something tells me I wouldn't be able to keep up with you either." He touched Nico's cheek, caressing it slightly. "Do you know what you are?" Nico shook his head. "You're a god in the skin of a boy. Look at you, you've got this stunning, wounded thing going on with your eyes and this meek, dark, broody thing going on with your smile. I bet people fall in love with you when you walk by, I bet your break hearts without even realizing it." Carter grabbed Nico's hand. "But that doesn't mean you don't deserve happiness, either. With as magnificent as you are wounded and doe eyed I bet you're even more jaw dropping when you're happy."</p><p>Nico looked away, "You're one to console me, aren't you? You're broken, just like I am."</p><p>"I'm not as broken as you, though, Nico. What this guy did to you, it wasn't just an emotional hurt. I can see it. He didn't just break your heart he left fractures on your soul and it affects your everyday."</p><p>"Am I so see through?" Nico wondered. "Have I gotten so pathetic that instead of fucking the hot guy in the club I'm actually telling him about myself?"</p><p>"And referring to him as if he's not sitting right beside you. You think I'm hot?"</p><p>"So hot." Nico laughed, his eyes tearing up. "You wanna know something? I couldn't even remember your fucking name, I was just gonna have sex with you without knowing your name. And…I don't think I would have cared if you fucked me with or without a condom. That's how low I've gotten. I just don't care anymore. I don't know you, you could have any number of diseases, but I was just about to let you have your way with me."</p><p>"Well, one: I always carry condoms with me." Carter smirked, "two: I'm happily disease free. And three: what did I just say? Cut yourself a break, Nico. You're just a kid, you can't have all this shit figured out. I remember when I was a teenager and I was struggling to accept my bisexuality. Every day was torture, but when I realized that there was nothing wrong with me, that I wasn't the one at fault and really that there was no fault at all I finally started to feel better. That's what we always forget, when something doesn't work out it isn't necessarily our faults. You, and I, have got to learn to be happy with ourselves first."</p><p>"How fucking old are you anyway?"</p><p>"Twenty-two, a dinosaur by your standards."</p><p>"No, that's about how old my boyfriend is." Nico said. "Well, he's not my boyfriend, per se. It's a long story."</p><p>Carter smiled in a very scholarly kind of way, the kind of way that said he wasn't just smart but that he understood subtlety and subtext. Nico realized he had been blinded before by alcohol at just how attractive Carter was. His lips were full and skin colored, his nose wide, his ears pinned back. Carter had the look of a king; there was a regality in his jaw line and the expanse of his brow. He was dressed like a professor, plaid shirt, tweed vest, khaki pants and loafers – nerd chic, but Nico kind of liked it.</p><p>"Why don't we use our time back here for something productive? You can tell me everything that's eating at you and I'll listen, unbiased, the whole time. Then, we'll leave out of here and you'll probably never see me again so you won't have to worry about being embarrassed."</p><p>"And why would I do that? I've already said way too much about myself tonight and I don't know why I'm telling you any of it."</p><p>"Because," Carter said leaning against Nico. "sometimes you can tell strangers things that you don't think anyone else understands. I told you about Zia, hell, I don't even talk to my sister about Zia."</p><p>"Well I feel honored," Nico said with a small smile.</p><p>"As you should, I don't go around bestowing kindships on everyone. Now, how about we start with this asshole who couldn't see you for what you are. What's his name?"</p><p>"Percy." Nico said. "His name was Percy, and you should cut him a little slack, he was fifteen when it happened."</p><p>"Which would have made you…?" Carter asked.</p><p>"Hm, fourteen about to turn fifteen myself? I don't remember."</p><p>Carter's eyebrow arched. "You're into older men."</p><p>"Just the ones that catch my eye." Nico laughed.</p><p>Carter echoed his laughter, "Alright, well stop flirting and tell me about Percy."</p><p>Nico sighed, "He was my best friend all the way up till two years ago, we literally did everything together. I mean, I did not go a day without him. I hardly went an hour without him around. He was like my air, I guess. If he wasn't around I just wasn't right, almost like I was dead. I had this horrible realization that I was in love him, and it terrified me down to my bones. Like, the thought of him hating me because I had fallen for him sat at the bottom of my stomach like sludge. And, of course being the red blooded, All-American boy that he is he started telling me about <em>girls</em> and I was supposed to understand because I was his best friend. We were supposed to, I don't know, go out looking for chicks—do people still call girls chicks?"</p><p>"Bit sexist nowadays," Carter said with that smile of his, "and a little antiquated, but continue."</p><p>"Well, anyway. One day he and I are in our treehouse, because that's where we always were, and he's telling me about this girl and I don't even remember her name now because I've decided that today is the day I'm going to tell him. I've decided that today is the day I'm going to confess my love for him. But he keeps going on and on about her and I got mad. I got so mad that I started yelling at him, and then before I can stop myself I'm basically sticking my tongue down his throat."</p><p>"Bad move," Carter added.</p><p>"Very bad. And, if you can't tell, I'm pretty horrible with emotions—,"</p><p>"They're very much a symptom of being alive, no one's good with them."</p><p>"—so I'm, like, crying before he can even reject me because I can see it in his eyes. He's fucking disgusted with me. And then he's yelling at me and I ran away. I ran away from him because I think a part of me felt like it was true. I was disgusted too, at myself. He had every right to be mad at me, every right. I burst into my house, and I can't see anything because I'm crying so hard, and there's snot and stuff running down my face and my mom jumps up from reading her book and she asks me what's wrong, and I stammer it out.</p><p>"Well she gets this look on her face, my mom does, and like the fucking boss she is, she takes me into the bathroom, cleans my face and tells me to wait right there. I can hear her on the phone and she's talking to Percy's dad, who was a scary dude, and she's cussing at him and basically telling him that Percy had better come apologize. I had never heard my mother cuss until then. But, basically Percy's dad says no, and our families used to be really close but I guess I sort of threw that out of the window. Eventually it gets to the point where we can't even be civil neighbors anymore and my parents decide to move here.</p><p>"But like I said, Percy was the air I breathed. You might call it withdrawal that I was going through, and am still going through, because he was infused in my fucking DNA. It might be unhealthy how much I need him, but that's the truth of it. He was spiraled and threaded into my deoxyribonucleic acid right along with hydrogen and oxygen and carbon and phosphorous and he was just ripped right out of me. It hurt so fucking bad. It still hurts so bad. Now my parents don't know what to do with me, they're sending me to a child psychiatrist. My sister's probably already told them about my cutting, and my pill abuse, and the fact that my not-boyfriend is six or seven years older than me." Nico sighed again, he had never put it to so many words. He had talked himself to sobriety "So yeah, that's my life, sad as it is."</p><p>Carter leaned in and kissed Nico's forehead, "You're stronger than I am." He said.</p><p>"Mm." Nico made a noncommittal noise.</p><p>"I know, I know. That sentiment is overused and has absolutely no meaning left, but I think you are. You <em>are </em>strong, Nico. You've weathered through this and you're still standing, doesn't matter how battered or bruised you are, it just matters that you haven't let it beat you yet. Instead of laying down and letting it happen you refused and kept going. Doesn't matter what reason, doesn't matter what you did to yourself, you kept going and I fucking applaud you." Nico blinked. He did so again because his brain was processing, how could he be expected to respond to that? He looked at Carter who had such a fervor in his eyes that all Nico could do was nod. "I'm glad you agree," Carter said standing up and grabbing Nico by the arm. "Now I think it's <em>way </em>past your bed time. You and your friends need to get out of here, man."</p><p>Carter pushed back the curtain and pulled Nico along with him. "Wait." Nico said. They stopped. "Can I ask for one more favor?" Carter turned around and Nico pulled him down into a kiss. Carter didn't pull away, he kissed him back, smirking into it until it finally broke.</p><p>"Hell of a favor," Carter grinned.</p><p>"If I really never get to see you again then I want to at least say I kissed one good guy in my life, is all." Nico said. "I don't even know, you've blown my fucking mind."</p><p>"There are a lot of good guys out there, Nico. Don't let one bad experience with love ruin them all. You're too good for that."</p><p>"You don't even know me, Carter." But Carter's smile wouldn't let him even say that without looking away.</p><p>"I know you well enough now, Nico. I know you're too good to be so sad. It is my firm belief that everyone deserves to be happy." Carter grabbed him by the hand this time, "Now come on." When they were back in the main part of the club they were almost immediately confronted by one Frank Zhang.</p><p>"Oh, thank God. There you are." Frank heaved a heavy sigh of relief. "You ran off."</p><p>"I did not," Nico objected. "We just got separated. Luckily, I met this dude."</p><p>"Carter," Carter introduced.</p><p>"F-Frank," Frank replied shaking hands with him.</p><p>"You sixteen too, then, Frank?" Carter asked, amusement flickering in his eye the moment Frank blushed. "I'll take that as a yes; go round up everyone else I'll walk you guys out."</p><p>"Rachel and Leo are outside, they thought you might have gone to the car." Frank said.</p><p>"You guys worry too much," Nico said offhandedly.</p><p>"No." Frank countered, "No we don't. Are you ready to go?" Nico smiled minutely, because Frank was such a good friend to have been worried about him.</p><p>"Yeah," He said. "Let's go." So all three of them walked to the door, Frank casually staring Carter down and Nico smirking even more to himself because it was always funny when Frank found someone attractive. When they got outside Leo and Rachel both looked up and then looked relieved to see Nico. "Hi guys,"</p><p>"What happened to the buddy system, dumbass?" Rachel greeted. "If we all get separated you try to stay with Leo and Frank stays with me, it's not a hard thing to work out."</p><p>"It happens," Nico answered. "I was in the back with Carter." Instinctively Rachel looked over his shoulder.</p><p>"Well hello."</p><p>Carter rolled his eyes and shook his head, "This is all of you guys?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah," Nico said. "These are my friends."</p><p>"You guys are good to drive? Or should I drop you off?"</p><p>"Depends. Your place or mine?" Leo wondered.</p><p>"Wow." Carter couldn't help but laugh. "You're a very forward thinking group of youngsters, I'll give you that. But, seriously, you guys are okay to drive?"</p><p>"I'm good, if no one else is." Nico said.</p><p>"Alright, cool. I'm getting out of here too, it's pretty late." Carter ran a hand through Nico's hair. "Take it easy, kid. Remember what we talked about, m'kay?"</p><p>"Alright, it was good to meet you Carter." Nico said, he was pretty fond of the guy. Standing there with his friends they watched Carter walk away.</p><p>"We could be mad at you," Rachel said. "but instead I want to hear every last detail about that young man."</p><p>"Please be very specific." Leo chimed in.</p><p>"Shh!" Frank said. "I'm still staring at his ass as he saunters away."</p><p>"He <em>was </em>pretty perfect," Nico said with a grin.</p><p>"Did you guys…?" Leo asked.</p><p>"Nah," Nico admitted. "In my drunken stupor I told him I was sixteen, he backed off. We talked for the rest of the time and that was pretty cool."</p><p>"Did you get his number?" Rachel wondered.</p><p>"Can I have it if you're not gonna use it?" Frank asked.</p><p>"No and no." Nico said, still grinning. "Guess it was just one of those things that happens just the once."</p><p>"Someone's got a crush," Rachel said with a smile.</p><p>"I'm just appreciative. He called me beautiful."</p><p>"And you didn't sleep with him? You're losing your touch, man."</p><p>Nico shrugged, "Is that really such a bad thing?" He looked at all of them, the sun was beginning to come up. "Come on, you guys can crash at my place." They hopped in Leo's jeep, the old thing purring to life as soon as the key was turned.</p><hr/><p>Sometimes Percy dreamed. It wasn't an every night sort of thing, but when he did they were normally dreams he would wake up from sweating and with tears in his eyes.</p><p>Tonight was like that.</p><p>He had gone to bed a seventeen, almost eighteen, year old eleventh grader and had been magically transformed in his unconscious to a fifteen year old standing in front of someone who used to be his best friend.</p><p>Even in his memories Nico looked like a little cherub. He had always had those watery eyes and those rosy cheeks that made everything in Percy want to protect him. That sense of protection swelled over him looking back through the years, something he should have squashed a long time ago.</p><p>Back when they were friends Nico had made Percy feel funny, strange even. He had caused certain reactions that were only supposed to be warranted by female company to arise in him.</p><p>Those feelings had scared Percy to no end. The way he heard his father talking about "queers" and his hatred of them told Percy that it was <em>wrong </em>to feel that way. It was just <em>wrong</em>. So he ignored it to the best of his ability, he didn't want to leave Nico alone completely—he couldn't do that, Nico was his best friend after all and they really needed each other. So instead he treated Nico like he was very fragile, and in Percy's mind Nico <em>was</em> fragile. He was bullied almost daily by Luke Castellan, the local golden boy and his gang of older boys. Nico had always been small for his age anyway, and it didn't really help that Percy grew so fast and his friend just dwindled in size before his very eyes.</p><p>And Percy…well, he just <em>needed </em>Nico around. Nico made his chest all tight and warm and fuzzy, and he made his heart flutter and they had so much fun together, and Percy wouldn't outright admit it but sometimes he would think that Nico was prettier than any girl.</p><p>But that's what terrified him. He <em>couldn't </em>think those things about another boy. His dad would hate him, his mom probably would too but she wouldn't say anything aloud about it. That's the kind of woman his mother was, she would never want to make him feel unwanted even if she didn't want him. He loved her so dearly and he never wanted her to feel like that, and he admired his father so much. It really hurt that he couldn't be happy with his thoughts of Nico being sweet and lovely and one of the best things to wander into his life and have a good family life too.</p><p>It seemed impossible.</p><p>The dream, though, is what Percy was focused on mostly. That time Nico had kissed him still haunted him, those lips like a fever so hot pressed against his, and the sense of urgency, in the kiss it was almost like Nico was begging for something and it was definitely something Percy couldn't give him.</p><p>"Hello, Percy, Earth to Percy," He blinked.</p><p>Percy Jackson was almost eighteen, not that that really mattered because he still had a year to go in high school. He thanked his mom for starting him late just about every day. He was tall, he guessed, since he stopped off at about six-foot-one. He blinked his sea green eyes at his friend Grover, who was much taller than him, again and then eloquently said, "What?" To which Grover rolled his eyes.</p><p>"You've been spacing for like half an hour, man." He replied. Grover had a very hippie sort of look to him. His hair was shaggy and the thin goatee around his mouth just screamed "flower child" but Percy enjoyed his company. They were night and day, really, Percy was the captain of both the football team and the soccer team, he was second for the swim team, and kept an extremely busy schedule. Grover, on the other hand, was a mellow sort of guy who kept Percy grounded to the world around them.</p><p>Grover had hair that was the same color as tree bark, and eyes that were so dark they were black. His skin was olive toned and if he shaved he might have even been handsome considering that facial hair wasn't for everyone—it was definitely not for him. He perpetually smelled of patchouli, but the art room always smelled like that and since that's where Grover hung out the most it was no small wonder, and his clothes had a "never been washed, already been worn," sort of quality to them.</p><p>A person would be hard pressed to find Grover without his crotched Rastafarian skull cap and Percy had the sneaking suspicion that his friend was into things that were a little more illegal on this coast than they were on the West. But, even if he was he always seemed to be sober any time he and Percy hung out.</p><p>"Sorry," Percy smiled. "I was just thinking."</p><p>"Thinking? That's not like you at all." Grover pulled an astonished face then smiled when Percy punched his arm, "What? You gotta get to practice or something?" They were sitting in Percy's bedroom watching T.V., well Grover was watching it Percy had been lost in memories of a time gone long by.</p><p>"No, nothing like that, just…" He sighed. "It's nothing."</p><p>"Sounds like something to me, brother." Grover replied wisely. "You know you can tell G-man what the problem is." Then he sat up and leaned a little closer, "Or better yet, <em>who </em>the problem is? Annabeth finally getting on your nerves?"</p><p>"What? No!" Percy's girlfriend Annabeth was…she could be a bit high strung sometimes. But that was only because she had a lot on her plate. The Young Genius Society of America was constantly evaluating her success in school and if she wasn't getting Ivy League letters every day she would throw herself headlong into studying for hours and hours at a time.</p><p>"Then what the problem is, bro?" Grover asked. Percy looked up and out of his window, something that for the past almost three years he had forbidden himself from doing. The house across the street was just as empty as it had been since…since then. "Your neighbors bothering you?" Grover wondered.</p><p>"No, no one lives there anymore." Percy responded. He had moved on with his life, it was for the best. That's why he had a girlfriend, that's why he tried so hard in school and had all of his extracurricular activities.</p><p>It was for the best.</p><p>He studied hard even when his dyslexia tried to kick in and the words on the pages would jumble but, he would squeeze his eyes shut tight and force himself to focus, if that didn't work he would put the book down for a few minutes and come back to it later.</p><p>"Come on, Perce, you gotta confide in me. Who else you gonna tell, Luke Castellan? Connor Stoll? Your other <em>sports </em>buddies?" It was true, Percy was friends with a lot of the schools athletes, every quarterback needed his running back and wide receiver. A lot had changed since junior high. But, it wasn't like he and the guys actually <em>shared </em>things together, unless they were sports stats, RBIs, or how many homeruns during a season Pujols had gotten, stuff like that.</p><p>"I was just thinking about an old friend is all," Percy said. "He moved away."</p><p>Grover nodded, happy to finally have gotten the information, "You guys still keep in touch?"</p><p>"No, I'm pretty sure he hates me. Let's leave it at that." Percy replied.</p><p>"Fair enough," Grover said stretching languidly, his bones popping in all the right places causing him to groan in appreciation. Pulling a cell phone out of his pocket he must have checked a message because the next moment he looked up and said, "Oh, I gotta split, my lady wants me to come over. Text me later, buddy." They slapped hands together in way of parting and Percy watched Grover go, sighing to himself he stood when he was sure the tall young man was gone and he closed the blinds. He stood beside the window for a moment; he should have never looked out of it.</p><p>There was a knock at the doorframe, two quick, precise taps. "Hey, champ, saw Grover left." He looked over his shoulder. Standing there where his father used to stand was another man; he had thick, black, horn-rimmed glasses that sat just in front of his intelligent grass-green eyes. His face was relatively young looking, though he had recently celebrated his forty-fourth, and Percy could look him in the eye as they were the same height. His name was Paul Blofis, and he was engaged to Percy's mother. He had windswept blond hair and an expressive brow, one that drew together when he saw the look on Percy's face. "You okay?"</p><p>Paul was a smart dresser—well, dorky in Percy's opinion, but the cardigan laid over top of the all white button down and the ironed black slacks accompanied with the shiny black loafers looked nice on him. For the past year now he and Sally had been dating and then they made it official after surprisingly asking for Percy's permission. Paul tried to be fatherly, but it was very obvious that he didn't have children. Still, Percy appreciated that he tried. His biological father had moved out at the end of Percy's ninth grade year and his parents had divorced that Summer.</p><p>Pushing away from the wall he sat on the bed, "Yeah, I'm okay." He answered. "Just kind of want to be alone for a while." Paul nodded and smiled in a way that made the skin around his eyes crinkle.</p><p>"Okay, well you know where I am if you want to talk." He said. Percy nodded back at him and then sat on the window nook that used to seem so much bigger. He pulled his knees up to his chest.</p><p>If he could take it all back, he thought to himself, he would. But, he quickly pushed the thought out of his head. He couldn't be bothered to dwell on the past, he had homework to do. Then he had to schedule some drills for his teams, and if he was lucky Annabeth would be free and he might take her to see a movie.</p><p>He had to keep busy.</p><p>Always busy.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You did what?"</p><p>It was one day after school when things at his house had begun to calm down that Nico heard his parents arguing in the living room. He was sitting in the kitchen, which connected, and was, surprisingly, studying; he wasn't sure they knew he was home.</p><p>"Look, Maria," Hades said. "It's close enough to the doctor's office, and to the publisher's building, I didn't think it was a problem."</p><p>Maria cursed and lowered her voice, "Hades, why the hell do you think we moved away from there? He only just started talking to us again! He's going to flip! He won't come with us now, like, at all."</p><p>"You act like he has a choice," Hades replied. "Honey, you keep forgetting that we're the parents. We're in charge. What we say, goes. What we do, they have no say in."</p><p>Maria sighed, "I know you're parents were hard on you, my parents were first generation Italian too, you know? That doesn't mean we raise our kids the same way. We want to have <em>relationships </em>with them, Hades. We want them to not only love us but like us too." There was a moment where Nico thought his father might reply, but he knew his mother too well, "And to make it worse you bought it without asking me. There is no way this is going to work out, sell it. Sell it right now."</p><p>"I'm not going to sell it, Maria."</p><p>"Your son is going to—"</p><p>"Going to what?" Nico asked, he couldn't stand by idly listening to them talk about him. His mother looked up, she had been seated on the couch and staring intently at his father who was sitting in his recliner flipping through a book. Most likely his father hadn't even glanced up from his book when Maria was talking so Nico wasn't surprised he did not get the man's attention.</p><p>"Nico, sweetie, when did you get in?"</p><p>"About an hour ago," Hades answered before his son could.</p><p>"You knew he was here?" Maria asked.</p><p>"Of course, he texted me that Leo was giving him a ride. I heard the door open, you were outside in your garden." Hades replied offhandedly. "If you're upset that I didn't tell you the boy was here then I can't help you there. He does live here."</p><p>"Hades, so help me—"</p><p>Nico cut Maria off, "Anyway," He said obtrusively. "You two were talking about me. What's going on?"</p><p>"It's nothing—"</p><p>"I bought our old house so we had somewhere to stay over the Summer." His father admitted. Nico stood there, stunned for a moment. He blinked and his mother stepped towards him, readying her arms for an embrace. Nico took a step back.</p><p>"You—" He bit his tongue. "Why would you do that? You know what he did to me."</p><p>"That's the thing, Nico." Hades closed his book, Maria was glaring at him but he ignored it. He would suffer her wrath later, because he couldn't take the moping periods anymore. His son had highs and he had lows, but they were incredibly disproportionate. "He didn't <em>do </em>anything to you, son. He called you a name. Names have no meaning if we don't give them one."</p><p>To his credit Nico stood there with dry eyes and his shoulders held back. His stance wasn't defensive but receptive, and his eyes were cool—almost nonchalant. Hades didn't know what to make of his son's expression; it could have very well been a mask. His kids were good at hiding things. In fact, there was something going on between them, his children, he knew it; something they were hiding that was on the verge of being outed. Nico had stopped talking to Bianca unless it was for dire need of something whereas normally they were as thick as thieves. "That's easy for you to say." Nico returned, bringing Hades back to the conversation at present. "You've never been bullied a day in your life. Never had someone shout hurtful things at you, never had your heartbroken. You're cold, you're emotionless, how could you know how it feels to even get your feelings hurt?"</p><p>"Nico…" Maria's voice was quiet this time, by the sound of it she was urging him not to say anything else. "Please don't say that, your father is a very kind man. He's thickheaded, stubborn, full of himself, finicky—"</p><p>"The boy gets it." Hades interrupted.</p><p>"An ass, apathetic, arrogant—"</p><p>"Sweetheart." Hades' voice was anything but endearing. It was filled with a dead irony.</p><p>"But you can't call him heartless. He loves you, this is just his ass-backwards way of showing it." Maria finished.</p><p>"If this is how he shows loved I would really just rather he not." Nico spat back. He turned his cool gaze to the man who had invented apathy and leveled eyes with him.</p><p>"It's important that you learn not to back down, especially from something as trivial as name calling, Nico." Hades said simply.</p><p>"You still don't get it do you?" Nico asked. "I mean I don't know how to say it without sounding like a broken record: I loved him, Dad. <em>Loved </em>him. I think a part of me, somewhere buried deep underneath everything he broke in me, I still love him. And that's wrong because I don't know him anymore. I don't know if I ever knew him. It wasn't the name calling. I got teased every day, it's not about that. It's the way he treated me. He threw our whole friendship out of the window when he called me a faggot. When he looked at me with those eyes. They weren't his eyes, Dad. They belonged to someone I never even knew existed. Someone who could hate.</p><p>"And you're taking me back there. We ran away because you guys thought I couldn't handle it, and I'll tell you right now, I can't. I can't handle him, I don't think I can handle seeing him. I don't know what I'll do. And it's not me you should be scared for. No. I might have scars because of him that are both physical and emotional, but they only run so deep."</p><p>"Scars?" Maria whispered, but Nico didn't hear her.</p><p>"But if I see him, Dad—"</p><p>"You're going, Nico. That's final." There was no room for argument, and Nico didn't make one.</p><p>"Fine. I just wanted to tell you that if I see Percy Jackson I don't know what I would do, and I won't be responsible for it. I'll leave that on your conscience, if you even have one." It was about that time that Bianca wandered into the living room. She looked as if she had just been on a jog, her hair pulled back, her brow and neck sweating. She pulled the headphones out of her ears, took a swig of water from her bottle, and looked at her family.</p><p>"Who pissed who off?" She wondered aloud. "It's always something around here."</p><p>"Sister of mine, don't you have something to tell our parents?" Nico asked. He turned to her, lifted his shirt up just high enough for her to see the scabs of his self-inflicted cuts, and promptly walked out of the room. "I'm so over drama," He threw over his shoulder. "done with it." And that was the last of him they saw that evening as he retreated to his bedroom.</p><p>Hades collapsed into his recliner, for the first time wrinkles had begun working themselves into the crinkles of his eyes. He pinched at the bridge of his nose, his face contorting with displeasure, and then he sighed heavily, leaned back in his seat and looked at his daughter. "Round two." He said. "And your news is that you're, pregnant? Not going to college? Disowning us as well?"</p><p>Bianca took another swig of her water, "Nothing so drastic," She replied, her voice steel. "I didn't come in here picking fights, Dad. You might want to turn that anger somewhere else." Then she, too, turned, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder dramatically for effect. She stopped. "No, I did want to tell you guys something about Nico. You should keep a closer eye on him."</p><p>"That's hard to do when he stays locked up in his room most of the time doing God knows what." Hades shot back, clearly aggravated. "I don't get it with you kids. I give you everything you could ever want and this is how you two treat me. Secrets, loathing, I'm really getting fed up with it."</p><p>"Get your head out of your ass, Dad." Bianca replied, her eyes were fiery. "We respect you, we don't come to you with our problems because we know you can't handle them. That's why Nico is so mad, because all of a sudden you have this huge interest in him? You're taking him to see this specialist—"</p><p>"We've taken him to doctor's before." Hades countered. "And how is this my fault?"</p><p>"It's not <em>your </em>fault, Dad! Didn't I just say get your head out of your ass? It's not about you, you can't fix emotions with a snap of your fingers. You can't throw money and pills at it to make things go away. I get that you're trying to teach Nico to "man up" and "face his problems" but the best way to do that is to <em>talk </em>to him. He's scared, and lonely, and you've missed the opportunity to see how brilliant he is because he's shut you out of his head. You aren't a source he can go to for advice or help. You're just our distantly looming father, we love you, we truly do, but Nico needs more than just psychiatric help. He needs love." Bianca held up her hand, her mother's mouth had come open, "Don't argue, Mom. Yes, we know you love us, we know he loves us, but you both know that's not what I'm talking about."</p><p>Then she turned back around fully. "I was debating on telling you guys this, but I can't keep it a secret anymore, and Dad's right, we shouldn't keep them. Since you're taking him to a psyche anyway I might as well tell you that he's been cutting, and every now and then he's been popping those meds he got from his last doctor. The ones he told everyone he threw out?" She held up her hands to calm them, the look of terror on their faces was enough that her heart went out to them. "Ah! AH! I tossed the pills down the drain and took his razor, but he can get something to cut with anywhere and he does it in places we can't see so you're not going to be able to just look and happen across the cuts when he's wearing sleeveless shirts or shorts."</p><p>"I'll strip him down if I have to."</p><p>"No! Dad! No! That is absolutely not productive. Jesus, what is it with you thinking you can control everything? Don't even tell him I told you, I threatened to and you've both seen that he's no longer speaking with me. We just need to leave him alone for the time being, he's got—what? Another month of school left and you're shipping him off to the nuthouse? Leave him be till then, from what I've been casually observing he's much better when he isn't scrutinized."</p><p>"You expect us not to do anything after telling us all that?" Maria asked, she was gripping the arm of the couch for dear life. "My baby boy—"</p><p>"He isn't a baby." Hades said darkly, his expression still unpleasant.</p><p>"Well he isn't grown yet, either." Maria replied near tears.</p><p>"Just give him his space, yeah? I'll make sure he doesn't cut, but when you guys step in it's like a full force Johnny Law, "my way is the highway" kind of deal and that drives him away."</p><p>"How long have you known?" Her father asked.</p><p>"The two and a half years we've been here?" She answered. "For a long time. He used to trust me."</p><p>"He used to trust all of us." Maria cried quietly.</p><p>"Mom," Bianca walked over to her and crouched down in front of her. "this is the last thing he wants to do. He doesn't want to hurt you guys, that's another reason he hasn't told you. He thinks you won't understand and he doesn't want to hurt you. God, Mom. He loves you so much, both of you. But if you keep pushing him—Dad—he'll keep lashing out." Bianca took another swig of her water and then sighed. "Keeping this family together is more exhausting than my run. I'll be upstairs, sleeping." Her parents nodded and she left.</p><p>"Can we do this?" Maria asked, looking at her husband.</p><p>He finally looked back at her, he couldn't handle saying no to her on anything. That's why he wouldn't look at her when he felt he needed to put his foot down. It wasn't some power play, it was actual guilt. But, he still felt like their old place would be the best home for Nico while they were away for the Summer. This trip was supposed to be about resolving the boy's issues. "Yes," He said, grabbing hold of her hand. "Remember when we first got together and we had that horrible little place in Chelsea? Above the diner? You remember how I'd come home every day from working in that damn press room and swear to you that it would get better? Eventually it did, so I promise you that this is going to get better. Nico is going to feel better. I promise." With her hand still in his he stood up and walked the very short distance between them. He kissed her temple where the hair was just beginning to gray, so hardly noticeable that it was just a lighter shade of brown. "I promise, and I love you." Then he hugged her the way he knew she liked, taking her whole body against his and holding her there tightly.</p><p>She fit perfectly. Still, after all of these years she fit perfectly against his body frame. She a greater cog in the work of their relationship and he merely providing the apparatus to house it. She was the inner working and he was the outer, though even then she still shined through past him.</p><p>"I love you, too." She said, feeling the tears in her eyes slowly vanishing. "No matter what we go through I will always love you."</p><hr/><p>It was a warm day in New York, just the kind of day that Percy loved. He had swim practice, even so late in the year he always practiced. It made conditioning when school started back up that much easier.</p><p>He had just popped back into his room because he needed the bag on his window seat. He hadn't expected to look up and see it. But, it started back at him like something straight out of a nightmare.</p><p><em>Sold</em>.</p><p>He stared at the realty sign just down the street from his house. It had never been far away, a straight shot and the road was level and his eyes were good enough that he could see it almost as plain as day. A gigantic red sticker with the word '<em>sold</em>' written in bold white was slapped against the for sale sign that had sat outside of that house for so long.</p><p>Percy sat on the window seat. The world began moving in slow motion, like how long it seemed to take for him to blink. He could count the seconds while his eyelids were moving downward. <em>Two, three, four</em>, blink. Then he was submerged in darkness until he realized he needed to open his eyes again. Well, not darkness. The sun filtered through his lids painting the world behind them pinkish-red.</p><p>The house had been sold. Something in him was solidified by that. Some fleeting hope he hadn't known he'd been holding onto cracked and fissured and broke away.</p><p>"You still need a…ride? Sweetheart, what's wrong?" His mother walked into the room. She hadn't changed in all these years, the circles under her eyes just a bit darker, the lines around her mouth just half an inch deeper, but aside from that she was the same. Her hair was long and curly, on the dark side of brunette. It reached the middle of her back when she had it down. Her face was thin, and her cheekbones were angular. Her eyes shaped like ovals and the same color as almond. She had thick lips, plump, but like the rest of her face they were devoid of make-up. "Percy?" She asked looking slightly concerned.</p><p>"They sold it." He said, not able to look away from his window. Sally pursed her lips into a thin line. She didn't have to ask who "they" were or what "it" was. She knew.</p><p>"I'm sorry, sweetie." She said, running her fingers through his hair. She had known for a while that the old place would have to be sold sometime. It had been sitting there collecting dust for some time now and how it had stayed on the market so long she could only say was the fault of the economy right now.</p><p>"I mean," Percy said, wiping at his eyes. He was desperately trying to make it look as if he wasn't about to cry. "I mean good for them, right? I just always thought I'd get the chance to apologize. To tell Nee—to tell him how sorry I was – am. How sorry I am."</p><p>"Nic—" Sally stopped herself she hadn't said that name in almost two years, "I'm sure he's forgotten all about it. You guys were just kids."</p><p>"No," Percy shook his head. "No, I hurt him. I hurt him bad, mom. I know I did. And I know him well enough to know he's still mad; out there somewhere he hates me for what I did." Sally sighed.</p><p>"Scoot over, champ." She made a shooing motion and Percy made room for her on the small bench. She put her arm around his shoulders, he was bigger than her by now so if this had been anyone but his mother it might have been an awkward embrace but he put his head against hers. She always smelled faintly of perfume, some flowery, just-barely-there scent he would never be able to put a name to. "Look," She said. "Life isn't about living, living's easy. Anyone can live, in fact everyone lives. Life is about the choices we make, the mistakes, the happy moments and the sad. Nico di Angelo is out there somewhere, and sure you hurt him, but I can guarantee that you gave him the best memories he ever got, Percy.</p><p>"He was like your little shadow. I'd look up to ask if you wanted a snack and there he would be, right behind you. Every day." She smiled a little, fondness finding its way into her voice. "And I watched you two grow, you were inseparable. So yeah, you did wrong. Everyone does wrong, Percy. But bad things happen, you can't dwell on them." She kissed his cheek. "If you still need a ride to the pool I'm about to jump in the car, otherwise there's food in the fridge. Paul and I are going out."</p><p>"You know I think I'll just hang back today," Percy said glancing up at his mother with his father's eyes. She nodded, a small understanding and sympathetic smile on her lips.</p><p>"Alright, babe." She turned. "You know," She said an idea striking her. "I could be wrong but doesn't everyone have a Facebook nowadays? Maybe you can find him on there?" She glanced towards the computer sitting against the opposite wall. "Just a suggestion. Ciao." And with that she was out the door.</p><p>Percy waited till he heard the downstairs door shut, watched the car pull out of the driveway, and almost leapt over to his laptop. He booted it up, put in his password (riptide_21) and the next thing he knew his fingers were flying over the keys at sonic speeds.</p><p><em>No results for Nico di Angelo found</em>, Facebook reported back to him.</p><p>He tried again.</p><p><em>No results for Nico DiAngelo found</em>.</p><p><em>No results for Nico Angelo found</em>.</p><p><em>No results for Nicolas Angelo</em>.</p><p>No results found. No results found; over and over and over again. Percy closed his laptop. Of course Nico didn't have a Facebook. Percy decided he was being crazy. He hadn't seen this boy in a long time, people change. There was no reason to even be searching for him.</p><p>What would he even have to say? "I'm sorry I called you gay. I mean, you <em>are </em>gay, but I shouldn't have said it like that." <em>Real </em>smooth. Percy shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.</p><p>It was just irksome. You could find anyone online, that's how it worked. Crazy stalker fans found celebrity's addresses and phone numbers all the time, how hard was it? He opened the computer again, it hadn't gone to sleep yet so his unyielding results screen was still displayed at him.</p><p>He quickly cleared the address bar and typed in Google. It only occurred to him after he saw: <em>About 779,000 results (0.27 seconds) </em>that he realized how crazy this whole thing might have seemed to someone who might just happen on into his room. He looked out the window again. Memories from a time passed that he had shoved down and out of his mind started to crop up. He had been so happy, a few years ago. He was happy now too, but not in the same way. He saw the ghosts of the child he used to be playing in the yard and he knew he had to finally put this to rest.</p><p>Somehow, someway it had to be done.</p><p>So, he grabbed a notebook quickly and in his chicken scratch handwriting he wrote:</p><p>'<em>To Nico,</em></p><p>
  <em>I don't know where you are, but I know I was the one who made you run away. I don't know if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or whatever, or if you're still that same kid you always were. I bet you aren't but I wish you were. Every day since I made you leave I've done nothing but regret it. I try not to think about it. I try to live my life because it doesn't make sense for me to still be mad at myself for something that happened so long ago. But I never got to say that I was sorry. I never got to tell you that I couldn't ask for a better friend than you. Ever. Not even now, and I definitely don't deserve one anymore. </em>
</p><p><em>I don't know how you dealt with your feelings. I don't know how you could have liked me for so long and never said anything. It kills me to hide who I really am. Or who I think I am. How the fuck do people even know what sexuality they are? Why can't I just like someone for who they are? I don't even know you anymore, you're someone completely different now, I'm sure. But in my head you were always there for me, always at my side, you never made me wonder or question your love for me, even before I knew you were </em>in <em>love with me. </em></p><p>
  <em>I just miss you sometimes. Most of the time. It took a while to get adjusted to living without you. I didn't have anyone to look after anymore. Everyone else was boring, they didn't have your sense of humor. And no one laughed at my jokes, makes me think I'm not all that funny to begin with. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I guess I'm getting along. I have a new best friend now, Grover. He's a good guy but I'm pretty sure he's a pothead. I have a girlfriend too. Annabeth. I like her, but I don't know. I'm just really confused and you're not here to talk to about it because I made you run away. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm so fucking sorry, Nico. </em>
</p><p><em>I'm so </em>fucking <em>sorry. </em></p><p><em>Love - </em>No, he couldn't say "love". He crossed that out.</p><p><em>Yours Truly - </em>Couldn't say that either.</p><p>
  <em>Percy.' </em>
</p><p>He ripped out the letter and folded it three times, bottom to the middle and then middle to the top. Then he wrote, '<em>For Nico</em>' on it and shoved it in the drawer of his desk. He didn't feel better. Not by a long shot. He felt like a reservoir that had just released all the pent up stuff inside. He was empty now, in a way. Like he just didn't have anything else to feel. Not numb, the potential for feeling was still there, but the feeling itself was gone.</p><p>Normally he put all of his energy into his training and his studying, but with Summer coming up and finals all but over there wasn't a hell of a lot for him to be doing.</p><p>He stood and slunk over to his bed, closing the blinds along the way, and fell heavy on top of his mattress. He wasn't sleepy, not tired at all, but he closed his eyes to quiet his mind. Nico wasn't always so heavy on his brain, but just lately. Summer was always harder because that's about the time Nico left. It was also when both of their birthday fell.</p><p>Goddamn it, Percy was going to be eighteen soon. He wasn't sure if he was ready for that. All of his life he'd wished he could just grow up, but then you grow up and you think—holy crap, no one told me it was going to be like this. Wasn't he at least supposed to have himself figured out by now?</p><p>It shouldn't have been this hard.</p><p>And just when he was contemplating going to sleep to shut the world out even though he wasn't tired there was a knock on his doorframe. He jumped, surprised.</p><p>"Percy, buddy, it's four o'clock on a Saturday why are you in bed? Usually that's my job."</p><p>Percy sat up, looked over his shoulder and sure enough Grover Underwood was standing there with his cap and baggy clothes looking like he'd just crawled out of a nest of some sort. "How'd you get in?" He asked.</p><p>"Front door was unlocked," Grover shrugged. "Your mom saw me walking on the other side of town, told me you were having a bad day and dropped me off here. What's up, buttercup? Why so down?" Grover walked into the room and plopped down on the bed beside Percy, though he lay on the opposite side with the back of his head on the pillow and Percy laid there on his front.</p><p>"I can't tell you." He said.</p><p>"You wound me, Perseus." Grover replied, fingers laced and laid atop his chest as he stared at the ceiling. "Did you know you had glow in the dark stars on your ceiling?"</p><p>"I did." Percy replied. "My dad put them up there when I was seven, haven't taken them down yet."</p><p>"Ah," Grover Ahhed. "So you gonna tell me what's wrong? This is twice I've caught you with that look on your face. Last time you were thinking about your old friend—what was his name?"</p><p>"Grover?"</p><p>"Yes, Percy?"</p><p>"You promise not to judge me?"</p><p>"I have never judged a person a day in my life,"</p><p>"Liar." Percy was met by silence, but it was a smug sort of silence. "I kissed a boy once." Still there was silence, but it shifted a bit and became more awkward than anything. "Well, I mean he kissed me. But I didn't hate it."</p><p>"What are you trying to tell me, dude?" Grover asked.</p><p>"I'm just saying." Percy said.</p><p>"You gay?" Grover looked over at Percy and Percy looked back at him. He just shrugged.</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"Kiss me."</p><p>"What!" Percy sat up.</p><p>"It's that easy, kiss me, tell me what you feel, and I'll tell you if you're gay." Grover said with a shrug of his own.</p><p>"I don't think that's how it works, Grover." Percy replied, Grover smiled.</p><p>"Should've seen the look on your face though, priceless." Percy hit the bed again, face first, and groaned into his pillow.</p><p>"You don't hate me?"</p><p>"Hate you for…?"</p><p>"For being gay, maybe? Or not?" Percy closed his eyes. "I don't know."</p><p>"Who does, brother?" Grover asked with that lopsided smile of his. "Gay, straight, whatever, you're still fucking human. Is that what's been bothering you, man? I should have known it was something. What, you like that guy that used to live across from you?" Percy didn't answer. "I see."</p><p>"His house is for sale." Percy said. "I don't know why I always thought it would be open. I always thought he would come back to it. I guess I'm just…sad. That's stupid."</p><p>"Not at all, brother." Grover sat up. "I have a question for you, something I've always wanted to ask, but, you know, thought you'd never go for. It'll do you some good."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Do you wanna get high?"</p><hr/><p>"Your old house?" Leo was spending the night, Frank would have come too if his grandmother would have let him out of the house but she'd found a girl's top in his room and he had been grounded for having company over without permission, especially of the female variety. She didn't stop and wonder why it was about Franks' size or why it was in the dirty clothes to begin with. It was worn and he hadn't been expecting her to go through his wash.</p><p>"Yeah," Nico answered, smoking a cigarette by the window and making sure he didn't set off the smoke detector. "He didn't even fucking ask me. I swear he just does shit to piss me off. Like, we get along <em>great </em>until he gets all pissy." He puffed on the cigarette, the cherry burning an angry red. "Fuck my life."</p><p>"We've gone over this," Leo grinned from the bed. "Just wouldn't work, you take it in the ass, I take it in the ass, there's no middle ground there. Plus, I'd have to be a time traveler or some shit to fuck your entire life, Nico. Think about these things before you say them out loud."</p><p>A stuffed animal promptly hit Leo in the head.</p><p>"Why do you have a stuffed bear? What are you, four?"</p><p>"Four and a half, asshole." Nico sneered, then he sat down on the dresser beside his bed and looked at Leo. "What if I just ran away? Like, hopped he train to Mexico and stayed in, like, Mexico City or something."</p><p>"I've got a cousin that lives in Mexico City," Leo mused.</p><p>"Real helpful, Valdez."</p><p>"And I don't think any trains run directly to Mexico, border crossing would be a lot harder to regulate. We've got a real problem in this country with Illegal Immigrants, or something." Leo gave a large, sarcastic smile.</p><p>"Why do I even tell you things?"</p><p>"Because you know I'll tell you you're just sweating the small stuff," Was the answer. "You're going away for the Summer. It's not like we won't see you, and New York is big. There's a huge chance that that Jackson guy's family got evicted or something and now they live in a whole knew place. He could be in Jersey."</p><p>"He's not in Jersey." Nico rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Could be, you never know. And for a dude that broke your heart you talk about him a lot. Let's change the subject. You meet a cute guy while you're up there you give him my number. Do not engage unless it is with the sole purpose of getting me some cross-country sexy text pictures."</p><p>"Yeah, I'm sure all the sexy guys in my therapy group will be falling over themselves to send you dick pics, Leo." Nico laughed.</p><p>"You never know."</p><p>Nico smiled but it slowly slipped off of his lips. "I'm going to miss you over the Summer."</p><p>"Psh." Leo laughed. "You're gonna meet some guy and forget all about me till I call your ass out for ignoring me." Nico cut his eyes at Leo, which caused the bedded boy to huff. "Fine, fine. If you want to be all mopey about it, I'm gonna miss you too. Happy?"</p><p>"Very," Nico smirked.</p><p>"Well, you smug bastard, have you told old Octie that you're leaving for the three months? Something tells me he's not going to be very happy about that predicament." Leo's eyebrow raised just slightly, intrigued or amused Nico couldn't tell.</p><p>"No," He sighed. "I haven't. I hadn't even thought about it. One of two things will happen when I do: 'a' he'll either not care, or the more likely one 'b' is he'll flip his shit."</p><p>"Well those are two completely polar opposite reactions that a sane would totally have. Yeah, classy guy you got there, Nico."</p><p>"Shut up, jackass."</p><p>"You know," Leo suggested. "You could always just not tell him."</p><p>"Oh, like that won't end catastrophically." Nico rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I don't know if you knew this or not but Octavian is possessive as hell. He'd fucking follow me to New York to make sure I wasn't fucking other dudes."</p><p>"You are fucking other dudes," Leo countered.</p><p>"Irrelevant. And <em>so </em>not true—"</p><p>"You were totally going to have sex with that Carter guy." Leo reminded him.</p><p>"Excluding him the only thing I've done while we've been "together" is blow a guy, but I've been mostly faithful. Who knows what he's out there doing when he's not blowing his cash?" Nico shook his head. "You think he'd at least have the decency to ask me if I want anything."</p><p>"Off the subject, Nico." Leo said sitting up and leaning over the foot of the bed conspiratorially. "What if you just ran away to his place? Your parents would never know where to find you, plus you get all the hash you want."</p><p>"Yeah, but I'd have to put up with his constant need for attention. 'Nico, come suck my cock.' 'Nico, why do you make me wear a condom? It's like you don't trust me.' 'Nico, wear this g-string you'll look sexy as fuck.' Every time we're together. I don't think we've ever just, you know, chilled."</p><p>Leo grinned, "You don't chill with fuck buddies, pal."</p><p>"We're more than that." Nico replied.</p><p>"Oh? So he calls you his boyfriend?"</p><p>"You know he doesn't—"</p><p>"You guys talk about your relationship, often?"</p><p>Nico glared, "You're being an asshole."</p><p>"Just asking, does he even call you when he's not horny?"</p><p>"Okay. So we're fuck buddies. Fine. But, it's the closest thing to a real relationship that I've ever had, so let me think I've got a kind-of-sort-of-boyfriend, okay?"</p><p>"A boyfriend you hate putting up with." Leo pointed out.</p><p>"Relationships are hard, Leo. They're not all perfect and fairytale. You're not going to be happy in them all the time." Nico answered. Leo leaned over and patted him on the shoulder.</p><p>"You're not going to tell him, are you?"</p><p>"You kidding me?" Nico answered with a laugh. "Not till the last fucking minute."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't know Grover," Percy said. "I-I've never, you know, smoked or did marijuana—it's just marijuana right?" He was eyeing a bag that Grover was holding up skeptically. "I mean, it's like, bad for you isn't it?"</p><p>"Brother, you don't<em> do </em>weed, you smoke it. You sound like one of those after school specials." Grover laughed. "And it's totally harmless, just weed. Weak stuff, too I couldn't get ahold of my guy."</p><p>"Your guy?" Percy's eyebrow rose.</p><p>"Weed guy, Perce, not boyfriend, gay boy." Grover grinned, leaning forward uncomfortably close he pinched Percy's cheek.</p><p>"I don't even know if I am…<em>that </em>way." He was blushing deeply. "I just…you've never thought of another guy, like, ever?"</p><p>"Percy, I am a child of the earth. I don't define my sexuality, it's limiting, dude. You can like men, you can like women, you can like whoever the hell you want to it's no one else's business, whether you like one exclusively or simultaneously." The words of wisdom were spoken as Grover retrieved something from his pocket and began to divvy out a healthy amount of the dark green, almost brown, leaf from the bag he was holding. After he was satisfied he wet his forefinger and thumb and rolled the paper, when it was done he licked the newly rolled joint to seal it.</p><p>Percy sat and watched, his heart in his throat and his stomach lined with lead, he swallowed, nervous, "I've never thought about it like that." He said. "So when you said to kiss you—"</p><p>"It was a joke, really. Sorry, humor mechanism when shit starts getting to serious, y'know?" Grover asked, looking up with a raised eyebrow. "Why? Do you want to kiss me?"</p><p>"No!" His face was completely flush now, and what a funny thing it was for Grover to look at considering that Percy looked like every other popular boy in their high school. Jockish and muscular, though Percy was more lean than anything; and Grover couldn't call him tall because he was about his own height—though Grover was rather gifted in the department of height. "Besides, I have a girlfriend."</p><p>"So do I." Grover shrugged. "But, Juniper understands that sometimes these things happen. It's how our relationship works, if I kissed you right now and told her it was to help you understand a side of yourself no one else could she'd be cool with it. I feel the same way for her, we're just not allowed to fool around with people of the opposite sex."</p><p>Percy blinked and his jaw opened slightly, he was bewildered. Relationships didn't work like that. Did they? No relationship he had ever known worked like that.</p><p>"So since you brought it up, and from one friend to another, if you want to kiss me right now you'd better, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and a one time offer," Grover smirked.</p><p>"Grover, man, I didn't even know you were—I mean, I can't believe—" Percy refused to meet Grover's eyes, he looked around the bed as if it would help him grasp what was going on. Grover's hand landed on his knee and he glanced up.</p><p>"Dude, you don't have to. You're not gonna hurt my feelings, promise. Besides, even if you are at the very least bisexual I might not even be your type."</p><p>"How did you learn all this stuff?" Asked Percy, whose heart rate had slowed considerably.</p><p>"Hanging with older kids, mostly. College peeps," Grover put his baggie away and laid back on the bed, the joint hanging from his lips, "High school is such a fucking joke, man. Everyone's busy conforming to cliques, or pretending like they don't want to conform to a clique so they can join a group of nonconformists—hell, seven billion people have said that exact same sentence before I have, I'm sure—but the point is: everything is different. Not always better, but definitely not as constricting as it is now. Kids in college express themselves, Perce, and they taught me that sexuality is fluid, and not everyone can nail theirs down, man. So don't worry about it so much."</p><p>"I'm just worried about what my Mom would say," Percy admitted, "or worse, my Dad."</p><p>"Fuck 'em." Grover answered, fidgeting with what was between his lips.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Ugh!" Grover growled, "Percy, dude, we have <em>got </em>to smoke this, man. It's so fat, it's begging me."</p><p>"But my parents—"</p><p>"Your parents can go take a long walk off a short pier, Percy. It's not about them, it's about you and what makes you happy. Wax on, wax off, Grasshopper. Fucking if you strike me down I will only come back stronger, come on, man. I don't have enough metaphors for saying that you need to worry about yourself first and everyone else second." He pulled a lighter out from the same pocket the baggie had come. "Now smoke this with me and mellow out."</p><hr/><p>Percy did not like being high, that was plain and simple, but it was also something he did not realize until after he and Grover had finished smoking. He didn't like what his body was doing, or the fact that he felt weightless, or further still how his conscious felt like it was trying to escape from his head. He didn't like the fact that he was barely lucid or coherent, and worst of all he didn't like the taste of the marijuana on his tongue. It tasted green and dank and it made him cough when he inhaled but Grover assured him that that was the only way to know it was working.</p><p>The problem with that was that Grover barely coughed at all as he inhaled deeply from the rolled piece of what he could only assume was tobacco paper, though Grover called them cigarillos.</p><p>"Okay," Grover said. "You have <em>got </em>to listen to Iron Maiden now, you'll think they're the best band in the world."</p><p>Percy's eyes were red and half lidded, "I don't even know what that is, man." He said slowly.</p><p>"Don't need to," Grover said as he walked over to the laptop and opened it, typing in Percy's password—which he'd known since the ninth grade. "Okay," He said as he pulled up Youtube, "if you don't like this song you might actually be dead inside, brother." The music began to play and Percy hadn't exactly caught the name of it but he knew it had something to do with boots and something to do with death. The heavy guitars and drums weren't Percy's taste, but at the same time he felt like he was floating on cotton so who was he to argue?</p><p>They listened to it in silence, mostly, Grover kept going, "Wait, wait, here's the part—" and then he would turn the speakers up and shake his head, "No, that wasn't it." After the song had ended they listened to it again, and then again until an hour had gone by.</p><p>"I fucking love Iron Maiden," Percy said, bopping his head offbeat to the music. He could feel the notes in his skin. He watched it in the air, radiating out of the speakers in half notes and quarter notes and full notes as it danced around the room and finally landed on top of him in a jumble of jangling beats and rhythms. His flesh became goose-pimpled as he felt the music writhing up him, and he just wanted to sit there and let it wash over him for the rest of the night. "Grover, man, I'm so hungry." He said after the music stopped again, not that he could tell. He could still here the beat, the guitars and drums. His whole body was an Iron Maiden song.</p><p>"Well, let's go see what the fuck you've got in the fridge then," Grover replied, smiling in such a way that his eyes were slants and all of his teeth were showing.</p><hr/><p>Okay. So sometimes things happen for a reason and you think, "Well, that's life."</p><p>And then sometimes life sucker punches you in the gut and then kicks the shit out of your downed body.</p><p>Frank was pretty used to his "that's how life goes" motto, it got him through the tough times. But when he felt like the absolute worst person in the world for being how he was, for being something he wasn't sure he knew how to be—gender fluid, if you absolutely had to label him—he just wanted to curl up in a ball and rot.</p><p>Today was a bad day. It had started off simple enough, he had woken up, went to the bathroom and taken a piss, which granted sometimes bothered him depending on the day because when he looked down the right genital wasn't always looking back up at him. But, that wasn't what had set him off today, no, he'd gotten through the morning urination with minimal thoughts of being a freak. It was when he'd went to wash his hands that it really got to him.</p><p>His face was decorated in dark black stubble, lined from one side of his jaw all the way to the other. He couldn't stop staring. He could not tear his eyes away from the image of his wrongness. Like an echo a horrible and cold voice slithered around in his mind, <em>Look at you</em>. It said, bouncing around every corner and crevice, chipping away at his already insecure exterior. <em>You're hideous. You're a freak, an abomination. You aren't good enough to be a man or a woman. You're in-between. You're not even that. You're pathetic.</em> Frank gripped the sink hard.</p><p><em>Freak</em>. The worst of it all is that it was his own voice he was hearing. Cold, high pitched, horrid, and all him. <em>You wonder why they never talk about your problem? Why your little friends don't even acknowledge it? Because they know how much of a monster you are, they know how much you deserve to die.</em></p><p>His knuckles turned to an ashen white color, and tears gathered in his eyes. But still that fucking stubble stared back at him. He could ignore his penis, no one saw that. He could hide that away. His penis didn't bother him because he wasn't a transsexual, he didn't want to transition into another gender, but at the same time he didn't feel particular to one or the other and that always made him feel like he was betraying both of them.</p><p>He just wanted to dress in ways that made him comfortable, he wanted to be able to shave his face and wear make-up without being judged. He didn't think he wanted to be a woman, but the idea wasn't unappealing. He didn't want to transition; he just wanted to be comfortable in feminine things, again without being judged. He wasn't a crossdresser. He had to tell him that. Because he genuinely felt at home in clothes that weren't made for someone of his biology, and the term transvestite had always turned him off. Rachel liked to affectionately call the days when he hated the masculine things about himself his "Lady Days". He wasn't sure if he liked that or not, it made him feel like he had a cycle or something. But these Lady Days happened more than just once a month for him.</p><p>It wasn't just the clothes either. He had to swallow down bile with the thought of not being able to assume a certain air around other people. Sometimes he didn't feel like being what was considered a male and sometimes he didn't feel like being what was considered to be female. It was complicated, but it was him. He stuck to masculine pronouns simply because it was easiest.</p><p>But, standing there in front of that mirror with tears in his eyes he knew it wasn't going to be his day. He had to get away from his family. His Grandmother would only make things worse, and his mother would look at him with those eyes of hers as if she was waiting on him to tell her his secret. As if she knew and she just wanted him to say it out loud. But how could he put into words something he didn't understand himself? And how would she even react?</p><p>His mother was only just recently back in from her Iraq tour, he was the son of a decorated soldier. How could he shame her like that? Talk about his gender dysphoria like that?</p><p>He couldn't think anymore, and he definitely didn't want to look in the mirror anymore. He opened it to reveal a medicine cabinet on the other side and grabbed the shaving cream and his favorite razor.</p><hr/><p>Nico's phone rang just as he was taking a bump from the backside of his thumb.</p><p>"Hello?" He asked, wiping at his nose and feeling like his brain was on fire. Octavian's fingers were massaging at his hips.</p><p>"Hey, what are you doing?" It was Rachel. "We kinda need you."</p><p>"Stop," Nico said softly over his shoulder, his boyfriend's hands roaming more. "Uh, I'm kinda fucked up right now, Rach. What's going on?" He smirked because Octavian was in fact not stopping, but had instead sat up and had pulled Nico back to sit in his lap.</p><p>"Jesus, what are you fucked up on now, Nico?" She sounded disappointed, but he didn't care at the moment.</p><p>"Snow." Nico grinned.</p><p>Rachel sighed exasperatedly, "Coke, Nico? Really? What is your fucking deal? You act like a fucking junkie."</p><p>"Jesus fuck, what is so urgent that you need me right now? Don't get mad at me because I didn't line my day up to be free at any moment's notice." Nico cursed back.</p><p>"Frank's having a moment." Rachel said defiantly. "He really needs you here."</p><p>Nico assessed things. He was butt-ass naked, smelled like sex, wrapped in Octavian's arms, in the man's apartment—which could stand a thorough cleaning what with the food wrappers and actual food, clothes, magazines, and other such items all over the floor. O was probably three sheets to the wind, and if the fact that colors were warping into newer, brighter shades that had never existed until this moment meant anything he was in no condition to drive.</p><p>"Goddamn it, you're going to have to come get me then." He finally decided.</p><p>"Fine. I'm gonna go ahead and guess you're at dickhead's place?"</p><p>"Yeah." Nico laughed, but it was a strange laugh that didn't really synch with the humor. It was an airy, vacant laugh. Rachel sighed again.</p><p>"Be there in a minute." Then the phone clicked dead and Nico wasn't talking to anyone anymore. He laid his head against Octavian's shoulder, and looked at the man. O was about ten pounds too skinny for how tall he was, and the roots of his hair were showing through—blond, thanks to his mother. And Nico wasn't even sure what they were doing, but O was warm, and sometimes he was even loving like now with his arms wrapped around Nico so tight.</p><p>"Baby, stay with me." Octavian said longingly in his ear. "I don't ever get to hold you like this." Nico kissed him softly on his temple and then closed his dirt brown eyes because everything was so vivid and real in his vision now.</p><p>"I want to, you know I like when we're like this. When we're fucking civil, but Frankie needs me." Nico said, though he didn't move from that spot. Octavian's long, hairy legs wrapped around him and Nico leaned as far back into him as he could while still sitting.</p><p>"I need you." Octavian replied. "Leave those little kids alone, they can manage without you for a day."</p><p>"You forget we're the same age, those little kids and I." Nico grinned.</p><p>"You're so fucking sexy." Octavian answered, biting down on Nico's shoulder just hard enough to be felt. His fingers took hold of Nico's flaccidness and the other hand Nico's thigh. "Stay, for me?" Nico bit his lip.</p><p>"That's not fair," Nico replied. "You can't make me choose, O, and you've had me all day." Octavian stopped his ministrations, and Nico knew if he looked there would be anger in those eyes, so he kept his own trained forward.</p><p>"You wanna be that way? Fine. Go," Octavian released him. "Leave, I don't know why I had you come over anyway." Nico turned on the bed.</p><p>"<em>I </em>asked <em>you </em>if I could come over, you never just ask for no reason. If you invite me over it's because you want to have sex, like that's all I am to you. We were having a fucking moment for once, O, and you have to ruin it with that selfish shit."</p><p>"Oh, I'm the selfish one? Maybe I only ask your ass over here for sex because any other time I'm afraid you're always thinking about that motherfucker who dumped you. Fucking <em>Percy</em>. Maybe I don't try to get close to you because you're never really in the present, you're always thinking of those good ol' times you and your straight boyfriend used to have when you were fucking twelve."</p><p>"First of all, I was fourteen, ass. Second, you have never once said that. You don't open up, I can't even call you my boyfriend, we don't talk about our relationship, we don't even fucking talk and you're gonna say that now?" Nico replied.</p><p>"I don't hear you fucking complaining when I let you smoke all my drugs and snort my ye, man. I don't hear you complaining when I buy you booze and shit, you don't want to talk about relationships and shit then. You just wanna get fucked up."</p><p>"Because I <em>am </em>fucked up, O. Holy shit, how many times do I have to tell you that?"</p><p>Octavian scoffed, "God, you're so passé. You're so fucking juvenile, let it the fuck go."</p><p>"You want to know what's <em>passé </em>and juvenile, Octavian? Fucking sixteen-year-olds because you're too goddamn afraid to grow up. I don't know if the shit you put me through is worth it, because all you ever want to do is fucking argue and fight if you don't get your way." Nico got off the bed and found his boxers. "I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you I'm leaving for the Summer, since you won't fucking miss me anyway." He grabbed his shirt, but standing on the other end of it was Octavian, holding tightly.</p><p>"Don't." He said, his nostrils flaring. "Do not go out that door."</p><p>"You just fucking told me to leave, which is it, stay or leave because you're confusing the hell out of me." Nico spat back. "Let go." Nico tugged, but Octavian had an iron grip for someone of his build. Finally Nico managed to tug it out of his hands. But, Octavian didn't like that and the look of red anger in his eyes said exactly the same thing.</p><p>"Why the hell do you want to leave so badly? That fucking tranny'll get over it,"</p><p>Nico pulled his shirt on, grabbed his pants off the floor and set to putting them on as well, "Oh, you and me are most definitely over now. You are the worst kind of person and this was just a huge mistake." He buttoned the pants and looked over his shoulder just in time to see Octavian's fist before it struck his cheek. Pain like only being struck in the face can bring about sprouted over Nico's head and rattled his jaw. He cradled his cheek for a second and then looked up with disbelief. "What the fuck!" He screamed. But Octavian did not look sorry.</p><p>"You're staying here with me." He said with a hard glint in his eyes, shoulders squared and teeth clenched. Nico was too high for this, he had just been assaulted, and it didn't look like Octavian was going to let him leave.</p><p>"Goddamn it, O—" But Octavian struck him again, this time his nose, which felt like it had been smashed against his face and he could feel blood running out of it. "Okay, now you've officially fucked up." Nico launched himself off of the ground and delivered a hard knuckled punch to Octavian's midsection, which caused the aforementioned to double over. Within seconds Nico's knee was firmly implanted in Octavian's face and the taller, older man fell to the ground in pain. "Don't fucking call me again." He spit blood onto the downed man and grabbed his boots. Barefoot he walked out of the apartment, into the corridor and down the stairs.</p><p>Just as he made it outside into the sunny California pre-summer air Rachel's green Chrysler pulled up. He made a beeline for it, but he heard the door open behind him.</p><p>"Nico you get back here right fucking now!" Octavian screamed, Nico burst into a run without looking back and jumped into Rachel's car.</p><p>"Drive." He said too calmly, his heart was racing and he was more furious than anything else.</p><p>"What's going—"</p><p>"<em>Drive</em>,please." Octavian was storming over to the car, almost at the window, he had a brick in his hand and Nico had no idea where it could have come from. Rachel floored the gas just in time to miss Octavian's throw.</p><p>They were perhaps a mile out when she finally slowed down, "So…you wanna tell me what that was about?" Nico slunk down in his seat as he pulled his boots on, not having had the time or the patience to look for his socks.</p><p>"Well, I tried to leave, Octavian threw a bitch fit, said some things that were pretty shitty so I broke it off with him. He hit me, twice, so I kicked his ass and now here we are." Nico said, darkly.</p><p>"Nico—"</p><p>"Nope; doesn't even matter. Leo was right, you were right, I don't want to hear any I told you so's, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just go to Frank. How is he?"</p><p>"Not good. He's not talking, just crying. He showed up at my house with his face half shaved and his clothes on backwards." She shook her head as she took a left, "Leo's over there taking care of him for the moment, but you're the only one he responds to when he's like this."</p><p>"I feel for him, gender shit is hard." Nico ran a hand through his hair and sucked air in through his nose, and pain exploded in his brain. He'd almost forgotten that he'd gotten punched in the nose – it probably didn't help that he'd been snorting not ten minutes before it happened. His nose started bleeding again.</p><p>"There're napkins in the dash," Rachel said. "Maybe it's good that you and Octavian are broken up, he was so fucking wrong for you."</p><p>"But he was nice to have around," Nico shook his head. "He puts up with my shit."</p><p>"He hit you." Rachel pointed out. "And you're always high off the fucking moon when you're with him."</p><p>"You and me get high all the time." Nico replied opening the dashboard and pulling out a few napkins. He held them to his nose.</p><p>"We smoke a little weed, Nico. There's a difference between that and the pills and powder you do when you're with him. Next thing you know you'll be using needles." She looked over at him. "I'm just worried about you is all."</p><p>"No need to worry anymore, McGruff the Crime Dog, he and I are kaput after that crazy shit we just went through. Coke always make him super angry anyway." Nico shrugged. His phone wrang and he looked down at it. O was calling him. He let it go to voice mail, but as soon as it ended another call came through.</p><p>"You're not going to talk to him, are you?" Rachel asked.</p><p>"No." Nico said, slumping even further into the seat. "No I won't." He looked out of the window as they pulled into a rather nice suburban neighborhood. His phone rang again but he put it on silent and shoved it deep in his pocket.</p><p>"For what it's worth I'm sorry I called you a junkie," Rachel said as they pulled into her driveway. Her house, which was a villa actually, was painted eggshell white with a stucco finish and had Spanish tile roofing and large French windows; at five bedrooms and two full baths and a half bath hers was by far the nicest place to stay at.</p><p>Nico shrugged and opened the door, "You call 'em like you see 'em." He said and exited the car. Rachel was under the firm impression that she needed to filter Xanax into her friends' drinking supplies. The only one of them that seemed to have any happy days besides herself was Leo—and even he had his own problems.</p><p>Behind that big, beautiful, goofy grin of his were pains of loneliness and hardheartedness. He was insecure about his looks, Rachel could tell you that, and he hardly ever tried to hook up with any guys, let alone date them. But, he was always such a ray of sunshine it was easy to forget. He was so unlike Nico in that he took his pain and manifested it in trying to seem happy.</p><p>She wasn't sure which one of the two was doing more damage to themselves.</p><p>Speaking of Leo, he stood at the now open door to her house looking wide eyed and frantic. "You two took your goddamn time getting here," He said looking at the approaching Nico. "Dude, is your nose broken?"</p><p>"Doesn't matter, move out of the way Valdez." Nico marched past him. Leo looked up at Rachel and she just shook her head, her face taking on a wistful frown. She followed behind, closing her car door and hitting the remote lock. Upon entry to her home she marched straight to her room, where she'd left Frank.</p><p>"Rachel?" Her father asked from the couch.</p><p>"It's all good, Dad. Calvary is here, you won't have to deal with teenage ennui much longer, promise."</p><p>"No, you and your friends are fine. I was going to say that there are mini-quiches in the fridge if anyone gets hungry." Her dad said with a smile, those green eyes behind his rectangle glasses crinkling at the sides and his wispy balding head made Rachel smile in return despite the events unfolded around her.</p><p>"Thanks, Dad." She said.</p><p>"You're quite welcome, sweetie." With that she continued up to her bedroom, holding on to the black rail that lined the leaning staircase, the floors were wooden—ebony—and the walls were a burgundy red, trimmed in white.</p><p>She came into her room just in time to see Nico pull Frank into an almost comical hug. The boy on the floor was so much bigger than him that their positions seemed to be reversed, but she had seen this a million times. Nico was the first person Frank had ever told about his gender conflicts, the first person to ever accept Frank for what he was—human. It didn't matter to him, or any of them, whether Frank wanted to be a woman, a man, neither, both. But, until Frank could become comfortable enough with himself they would have to wait out the sea of emotions he would sometimes become stranded in.</p><p>Nico, for Frank, was like a soothing balm on a hurt the world had branded him with. Rachel tried to be as helpful as she could, but she knew there were some bonds that were going to be inherently stronger than others. Their group dynamic was such that Frank leaned on Nico, Nico leaned on Leo, Leo leaned on her, and she leaned on Frank. There were underlying connectors, of course. She would cry her eyes out to Nico or Leo, or Leo would show up at her house with a box of Ben and Jerry's and a couple of sad chick flicks and then swear her to secrecy as he talked about a recent heartbreak.</p><p>She understood why Nico hated the idea of leaving. They were built as a unit of four, and without him there it would be hard for everyone to adjust. Truthfully he was the hairpin that held them all together, that one electron that attracted the protons, sharing energy.</p><p>"It's okay, buddy," Nico said, sinking down to sit on the floor with Frank. "You're alright."</p><p>"It's just so hard sometimes," Frank replied, his brown eyes full of tears, and streaks ran down his face that were futile to wipe away. "Like, it shouldn't be that hard to look in the mirror. It shouldn't feel like I'm such a fucking freak, Nico." And Nico sat quietly, not offering advice, not saying anything because he knew that Frank needed an ear not an opinion.</p><p>They sat circled around him for another thirty minutes before he finally said, "Alright. Alright, I'll be okay."</p><p>"Okay, I'll get the shaving kit then." Leo said, standing and ducking out of the room. Frank wouldn't be able to shave his own face, not today anyway.</p><p>But, he turned his head and looked at Nico now with slightly clearer eyes and said, "Your nose is bleeding." Nico wiped at it.</p><p>"Don't worry about it, ran into a pole trying to get out of Octavian's, Rachel was rushing me." Nico lied with what sounded like practiced ease. "Hey, Leo. Bring me some tissues too." He called out of the open door.</p><p>"You've got a bruise on your face too." Frank observed, but Leo came rushing back in.</p><p>"Okay, you ready to be as smooth as a baby bottom?" He asked with a devious grin.</p><p>"Do you have to say that every time?" Frank asked, Nico stood so Leo could sit and help Frank, he took the offered tissues.</p><p>"Hey, Nico, come help me get some food out of the fridge. No reason to kick you boys out if Dad doesn't care that you're here." Rachel said, standing and heading out of the room. Nico followed behind her, knowing the sound of her voice when she was casting a rouse. He had become quite adept at reading her even when she was such a mystery for everyone else.</p><p>"Hey, Mr. Dare." He said once they got downstairs and passed the man watching the afternoon news on the couch.</p><p>"Oh, hello Nico." Rachel's father replied with a smile. Nico kept walking until they were in the kitchen. Rachel turned, words of wisdom on her lips and Nico held his hand up silencing her immediately.</p><p>"I don't want to feel better." He said. "Not right now, because right now your hair is pink, not red, and my brain is still on fire. I don't need anything, okay? I'm not gonna cry about it, I'm not gonna cut about it, I'm just going to do what I'm good at: nothing. Because otherwise if I do try everything will turn to shit, everything always turns to shit when I put any effort into it. My family, my boyfriend, so please let me float listlessly in my sea of—what did you call it earlier, ennui? Let me drown in it until I'm ready to come up for air. The only thing that is going to make me feel any better might be another bump, or some of those damn mini-quiches I heard about earlier."</p><p>"You're so melodramatic." Rachel said with a sneer.</p><p>"I do melodrama well," Nico shrugged. "I play to my strengths."</p><p>"And you preach a good word to Frank, about being okay, about us loving each other, but you won't let us get close enough to make you feel better. You always push us away, you lied to them. You lied to your friends, Nico."</p><p>Nico's head moved back and forth negatively, very slowly, as he said, "I can't always be the center of attention, Rach. You guys might want to fix me, make me see reason, see that I'm being juvenile," That word tasted bitter in his mouth, "or childish, if one more person tells me how to act I am just going to quit at life. If I were being truly melodramatic I might say, 'Why don't you people let me lament the death of young love?' or 'Why can't I just be unhappy?' maybe that's what I want."</p><p>"Because I know you, Nico. Better than you even realize. You loathe this pathetic, tragedy that you try to portray anytime anyone gets you to open up. You're afraid of getting hurt again is really all that is, and I know I'll never be able to force you to talk your feelings out but please, please don't bullshit me. Your lethargy is put off because you're higher than a kite right now, when you come down the first thing you'll do is call Octavian and apologize. When you and I both know you deserve a guy one million times better than him."</p><p>She moved over to him and said, "Because really you just want someone to love you, even when you're literally not yourself, when all your pieces are broken, and there's nothing left but hate. You want someone to love that because you think that's who you really are. I know because you and I are so much alike, Nico." She touched his face, held it between both of her hands and her green eyes were burning with understanding, something he had never seen and her compassion seared into him, "I don't talk about it because this group of ours needs absolutely <em>no </em>more drama, someone has got to be level-headed, someone has got to do the homework, but I want love too, Nico. Not the kind that my Dad or my Stepmom can give, but real, true love. I want someone to love me at my worst and my best, but I don't let myself fall to pieces and then get scattered every which way.</p><p>"So, I'm going to say this: take all the time you need, grieve over lost love, lost hope, lost whatever. But never, <em>never </em>put on a façade around me. I'm not your sister, I'm not your mother or your father. You don't have to save face around me, you know that. That is <em>implied </em>by our friendship. If you feel like shit you tell me straight, don't play around, don't try to think of my feelings. If I don't particularly care that you feel like shit and I drag your ass out of the house anyway, well, that's my prerogative." Then she smiled, "Okay, that's all I was going to say. Now I'm going to hug you, and you're going to hug me back, and we're going to go upstairs and put on Inception because I want to look at JGL and Marion Cotillard."</p><p>Nico didn't stop her from hugging him. He couldn't fight when his hands circled tightly around her waist, or stop his eyes from itching with tears. He felt miles away from his own body, but Rachel had a way with words and they still reached him on whatever plane of existence he had flown to.</p><p>In the tiniest voice he had ever spoken in he said, "Thank you." And Rachel pretended she didn't hear him because their group dynamic (as flexible as it was) stated that all interactions like this were not to be acknowledged except between the two interacting parties; instead she hugged him all the tighter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just like that the end of the school year crept up on him. A snap of the fingers, the leaves turning just a shade greener, the air growing hotter; and, the thought of skipping class for a trip to the beach was beginning to sound better and better—despite his hate/hate relationship with all things sun related Nico had almost given into Leo's plea.</p><p>"Wait a few more days," He said as they piled into Leo's Jeep, the young man had been gracious enough to offer everyone a ride home since his mom had filled his tank up for him. Usually he wasn't such a fan of their freeloading ("Besides, Rachel's got a car she just hates driving," he would say). But today was a good day.</p><p>There was just the right amount of sun so that the world was cool and yet comfortable, it was bright and cheery in sunny old L.A. and it was the end of classes and Nico was, for once in a long time, sober just to be sober. He wasn't the cheerful type, but he wasn't exactly what you would call a pessimist. Maybe he was just a realist. But, that didn't matter because today Leo didn't have the clip-on siding attached to his Jeep and they were driving down the strip and their music was too loud.</p><p>Rachel was off-key, but then again so was he.</p><p>Frank, who was the best singer out of all of them, couldn't stop laughing at exactly how brutally they were murdering Bruno Mars' <em>Locked Out Of Heaven</em>. Leo was humming along to it, bopping his head to the beat, his curly mane of hair blowing freely in the breeze. He and Frank were in the front while Rachel was strewn out over Nico in the back, her head in his lap while her hand held an imaginary microphone up to her lips and she belted out the lyrics at the top of her lungs to be heard over how loud Leo had the radio.</p><p>Nico was reveling in this, in his friends. There hadn't been any breakdowns, well no major breakdowns, and he hadn't cut in days. Life wasn't on the up and up, there was still this huge, uncontrollable, unexplainable ennui eating away at his innards like a vicious cancer. Sometimes there was a wave of sadness and anger so bad it left him shaking when he thought about the state of things. However, sometimes, very rarely, there would be days like this: days when he was just a teenager without all the emotional baggage of someone twice his age.</p><p>Rachel was holding the imaginary mic up to his mouth now, and he didn't know the words to the song very well because he so rarely listened to Pop music, but he knew enough of it considering how much it was played. He sang loudly and badly into her hand while he mumbled the words he didn't know, and then in a duet that would make Simon Cowell disembowel himself just to have heard it they finished the song out.</p><p>Leo casually turned the radio back down.</p><p>"Dude!" He shouted into the roaring of the air around him, without the tear away roof and windows the Jeep the wind was loud and he needed to yell to be heard over it. "You guys suck!"</p><p>"Yeah," Rachel sat up and leaned between the driver and passenger's seat, still not adhering to national "Click It or Ticket" laws. "Well I don't see you winning any damn Grammy's, Valdez."</p><p>"I just ain't released my first single yet," Leo grinned hugely, his mouth curling into its default mischievous smile. "You know I got flow like fire."</p><p>"Oh, yes, you put Lil Wayne to shame, you're a lyrical rap master." Frank laughed.</p><p>"<em>Anyway</em>," Nico interjected as they pulled up to a red light. "I am starving, you guys up for Pollizo's?" Pollizo's was a hot dog chain, which was a lot safer than it sounds. They had every hot dog and burgers variation anyone could ask for one, even cheese filled and fried if you were crazy enough to ingest something so wholly heart attack inducing.</p><p>"Fucking <em>YES</em>!" Rachel exclaimed, her bright green eyes dazzling with enthusiasm. "You heard him, Valdez. Pollizo's, and don't forget you owe me for getting your Burger King the other day so you're paying for mine."</p><p>"Hell no I'm not," Leo looked over his shoulders staring at her through aviator's that were almost bigger than his face. "Your food always costs so fucking much when we go there because you get every damn topping under the sun."</p><p>"That's not true," Grinned Rachel. "I don't put peanut butter and jelly on my hot dogs."</p><p>"And thank Christ for that," Nico remarked beside her.</p><p>"I'll pay for yours, Rachel," Frank smiled.</p><p>"Pfft." Leo blew air out of his mouth in a clearly sardonic way.</p><p>"Aw, thanks, Frankie. I could kiss your cute little button nose." Rachel sat back in the seat and crossed her legs underneath her. She was wearing a blue plaid shirt that didn't reach the waist of her shorts, the sleeves were rolled up and the first three buttons were undone revealing her slim neck and her clavicle underneath. Her khaki shorts were what Leo liked to call "hooker shorts" because they stopped just short of the top of her thigh, a pair of white and blue checkered slip-ons on her feet.</p><p>"You look nice," Nico commented.</p><p>"What?! A compliment? From Nico di Angelo? The planets must be aligned in some signature pattern that is astrologically impossible." Rachel answered with feigned surprise.</p><p>"Aaaand…just like that I never gave you a compliment again. That was a record, Rach." Nico deadpanned, but couldn't help grinning widely. "You buying for everybody today, rich guy?" He asked looking over Frank's shoulder.</p><p>"My grandma's the rich one, or else I wouldn't be in public school." Frank pointed out.</p><p>"And you'd have a car," Leo added. "and probably a better laptop."</p><p>"I'm buying everyone's but Leo's," Frank replied, laughing when Leo made a sound of disbelief. "Your loss, Leels."</p><p>"Hey, man, fuck everybody in this car."</p><p>The simultaneous "No thanks," was resounding just as Leo pulled into the corner restaurant. The neon sign proclaiming it was <em>Pollizo's Hot Dog Emporium (Best Italian Ice in California)</em> and as always it was relatively full. Most of the kids from their school would hang out here after the day was over which is why they normally got their orders to go. But, Rachel waltzed over to the only empty table in the entire restaurant, a booth near the corner window leaving the others to order for her. The boys followed behind her as soon as they were done, nodding to the few people from school they associated with outside of their group.</p><p>Leo sighed heavily as they sat down, his head hitting the table dramatically, "Who wants to do my homework?" He asked looking around at the others. "Rachel will you do my English?"</p><p>"No matter the brain injury you inflict on yourself by bashing your own brain in you know I won't," Rachel answered back with a toothy smile.</p><p>"Frank?" Frank actually laughed, Leo glared. "Fuck you too,"</p><p>"You're just trying to fuck everybody today, Leo." Nico grinned slyly from his seat beside Frank. Leo lifted his head.</p><p>"Yeah, when I get desperate enough to want one of you losers that's when I know I've hit rock bottom." He ground out. "It's not like you're getting any anymore,"</p><p>Nico shrugged noncommittally, "Ah, my boyfriend was a raving drug addict who hit me and very seldom did his moments of lucidity end well for my self-esteem."</p><p>"You guys have been broken up for a less than week and you've already psycho-analyzed your relationship?"</p><p>"I psycho-analyze everything, Leels. My parents are under the impression that I'm crazy, remember?" Answered Nico.</p><p>"No," Frank countered, "your parents are under the astute observation that you're unhappy, and, since they can't, for the life of themselves, understand all the particulars as to why they send you to therapy from time to time."</p><p>"When the hell did you all turn into Freud?" Rachel asked.</p><p>"We're queer kids, Rach, we've been wondering about who the fuck we are since we realized our ideas of self didn't conform with that of our otherwise heterosexual brethren." Nico grinned darkly.</p><p>Rachel rolled her eyes. "As much as it pains me to tell you, Nico, queer kids aren't the only ones who go through the existential period of our teenage years, and then we do it again in our twenties, and again in our thirties, and probably further on and on past that."</p><p>"Ah, yes," Nico replied. "but it's easier to accept the fact that you're heterosexual, that's never really a factor you have to worry about in your existential period."</p><p>"What about bisexuals? Asexuals? Pansexuals?" Rachel countered. "You always stick "we" to only the inherently homosexual, but queer is usually an umbrella term for "non-heterosexual" that is unless you're a straight person who doesn't particularly care to identify."</p><p>"Shit," Leo hit his head again. "I just wanted someone to do my homework, I didn't want this to happen."</p><p>Frank smiled but shook his head, almost amusedly. "You brought the whole thing up."</p><p>"Okay," Nico said holding his hands up in a gesture of counterpoint. "Even if that's what I did, and it wasn't mind you because Frankie here is <em>so </em>queer, I'm going to encompass every sexuality outside of hetero and I wager it's <em>so </em>muchmore difficult to come to terms with who you are in your teen years than it is for a straight person."</p><p>"See," Rachel pointed at him, "that's not what you said though, you said something like your sense of self didn't match up to that of a straight person's and that implies that straight people never go through identity crisis."</p><p>"As a very gay young man can I interject?" Leo asked, both of their attention turned towards him. "You two do this, like, all the time. This sort of 'we're not really arguing about it, but I still want to prove my point' kind of debate. It's cool, really, it is, but the food is coming," He motioned over his shoulder and a waiter was bringing a large tray of food towards them, "not to mention that, gay, straight, everything in-between, life is hard. Let's leave it there for now, until you two are alone…"</p><p>"That was very level-headed of you—" Frank tried to chime in.</p><p>"And can someone at least <em>help</em> me with this GODDAMN ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT." Leo finished. But, even with his shouting his voice melted into the already loud atmosphere that was <em>Pollizo's</em>.</p><p>"Okay, we'll put that conversation on hold," Rachel laughed. The waiter came, leaving French fries and foot long hot dogs laden with chili, cheese, onions, and peppers on the table. "Nico'll help you out with your homework."</p><p>"Like hell I will," Nico scoffed, but he kicked Leo under the table and laughed as the darker skinned young man glared at him. "Just as long as it's not Romeo and Juliet, that shit is played out."</p><p>"You're in luck, it's Jane Eyre." Leo answered taking a bite of his foot long, disregarding the steam and heat rolling off of it, then stuffing a hand full of fries into his mouth. Leo had this innate ability to pig out almost regardless of the food's temperature.</p><p>"Leo, you're so gross." Nico growled. "Rachel you should help him instead—"</p><p>"No, fuck you. You help him with his Jane Eyre assignment, I don't want to hear any of that "you're a girl, you help him with it" bullshit."</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "I was going to say that you've read it more than I have and you'd be better suited to help him out. But, way to jump down my throat for no reason."</p><p>"You two should just get married," Frank smiled as he rested his chin in his hands, elbows on the table, and bit into his fries.</p><p>"Yeah, okay." Nico replied, voice riddled deep with sarcasm. His pocket vibrated and he pulled out his phone, checking it he cursed under his breath. "Fucking 'a'," He handed Rachel the phone. "He won't leave me alone."</p><p>Rachel's eyes scanned across the screen, <em>I love you</em>. <em>I'm sorry</em>. The text message read.</p><p>The one above that, <em>Fuck you, you little dipshit. You're nothing without me, no man is ever going to fucking want you. </em></p><p>The one above it said: <em>I'm sorry. Call me</em>. <em>I can make it better, I didn't mean to hit you</em>.</p><p>Then another one, <em>I'm going to tell everyone you have AIDs or some shit. You can't leave me. I know where you fucking live. </em></p><p>They continued like that all the way back to the day Nico had left Octavian, each one either imploringly kind or terrifyingly threatening. "This is bad, Nico." Rachel said after a while. "I mean, this is, like, go-to-the-police kinda bad."</p><p>"Let me see," Leo took the phone next and read it. His lips thinned into a line and his brow came together. He passed it to Frank, "I can get the SWAT team to his house in thirty minutes flat, set up a terrorist threat on the national website and trace a proxy back to his address, it'd be easy."</p><p>"No." Nico said, "it's not worth all that."</p><p>"I can beat the shit out of him." Frank, the gentle giant, said handing Nico his phone back.</p><p>"Frankie—"</p><p>"Nico that is not okay." Frank said, deadly serious all at once.</p><p>"I know." Nico replied. "I know. I just—I can't go to the police. I'm sixteen, he's twenty-two, they'll take him to jail for statutory."</p><p>"They'll take him to jail for a lot more than that with these texts," Rachel said.</p><p>"It's just a bad break-up, he'll get over it. I know O, he'll get high, forget about it, and in a week he'll be fucking someone else and will have completely forgotten about me." Nico shrugged, his voice catching slightly. He wouldn't meet anyone's eye. "It's not like we were, you know, anything substantial anyway—"</p><p>"Oh, my fuck! You don't miss him, do you?" Leo nearly jumped out of his seat.</p><p>"No!" Nico exclaimed, but even to himself it sounded like a lie.</p><p>"Please, please don't tell me you're thinking about getting back together with him?"</p><p>"I'm not, I—I—"</p><p>"Nico, do you know how fast you would tell one of us that we were being fucking stupid for even considering something like that?" Rachel asked, her eyes as hard as emeralds on him.</p><p>"I just…" Nico looked out of the window, away from his group of friends. "I don't want him to do anything rash, or, you know, stupid."</p><p>"Like punching you in the face?" Frank's voice was tight and Nico flinched, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for only a second, steeling himself. "Getting you high on hard drugs? Fucking around behind your back? He's so bad for you. You can do so much better than him, Nico."</p><p>But Nico really didn't think he could, he did not say this aloud. "I'm not going to get back together with him." He said. "I don't want anything to do with him; I'm just worried about him. Like I said, I know O and he probably will do that stuff I said he was going to, but when he's upset he hits the harder shit."</p><p>"He isn't your problem anymore." Rachel said.</p><p>"Fuck him," Leo added. "Wait, no. Don't <em>fuck </em>him, but you know—" But Nico laughed it off. Frank's arm, big and heavy, landed on Nico's shoulder and Nico very minutely, very imperceptively, leaned his head against him. Frank didn't say another word about it, and Nico was thankful.</p><p>"Can we just fucking eat?" Nico finally sighed. "I shouldn't've even shown you guys that. I just need to get through one day without Octavian or anything else bothering me."</p><p>"Alright, cool." Leo rubbed his hands together, "After Nico writes my paper do you guys wanna go see Rise of The Guardians?"</p><p>"I'm not writing the whole damn thing." Nico spat.</p><p>"And no." Rachel added, point blank. "You always want to go see the dumbest shit."</p><p>"Hey, I'm down to see that," Frank said with a small grin.</p><p>"Shut up, Rachel, you have no taste. Nico?"</p><p>"Oh, no, I think Rachel has really good taste," Replied Nico wistfully.</p><p>Leo got swift justice by kicking him in the shin, "Not that, dumbass, are you gonna come see the movie?" Nico bit into his hotdog,</p><p>"I think I'm good, not really in the mood to watch cartoons tonight, boys." He said.</p><p>"Cartoons?" Leo was aghast. "Cartoons! This is digital animation at some of its finest!" Leo launched into a spiel on the mechanics of animation and all the work that went behind it. They listened on because once Leo got started it was hard to get him to stop. "And you would think we'd be doing a lot more with vectors in school, considering how important they are when it comes to this kinda stuff."</p><p>"Yes, cool." Nico nodded along.</p><p>"Look, Leo, everyone's done with their food. We should probably get going." Rachel added.</p><p>"Especially if you want me to do your homework."</p><p>"Plus, I'm pretty sure they don't care about animation," Frank said laughing.</p><p>"Man, fuck you gu—" Leo stopped himself, but it only made them laugh all the harder. He ran a hand through his hair trying to stave off his slight embarrassment, his ears red. "Let's go, that paper's not going to write itself." And with that they were up and out, Rachel leaving a tip on the table.</p><hr/><p>There was a pre-Summer rain hitting the city, but Percy was standing outside looking at the di Angelo's old house. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. He supposed it made sense, he knew very little about economics but as much stuff as there was on the news about the housing market it was really only a matter of time before it happened.</p><p>It should have happened sooner, really.</p><p>Percy hadn't even realized that he was holding out for them to come back, but it hit him now just how much he had been wishing for that to come true.</p><p>It was childish of him, he knew. But he couldn't help it. Nico had been his best friend. No one had been able to replace the position since they'd split, not completely. Nico might have been small but he left some pretty huge shoes to fill.</p><p>"Percy?" Percy hadn't heard the car drive up, or even seen the door open and close, but a very familiar pair of stormy gray eyes were staring at him underneath sweeping blonde bangs. She was holding an umbrella and was dressed like she always was, casually. A Yankees cap was fitted to her head, bill backwards, a blue shirt that showed off how slim she was—Percy knew firsthand that she wasn't trying to seem fashionable, but efficient. A pair of ratty jeans that to her boyfriend didn't look that ratty, but he was a seventeen year old boy, and a pair of Nikes.</p><p>"Annabeth!" Percy exclaimed jumping down the two steps that led up to his porch to meet her. He didn't care about the rain but she held the umbrella up and he stepped underneath it. The way her body was held against his instantly let him know that she wanted a kiss. He leaned down, her lips were sweet and exploring, until he pulled back. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Duh, Seaweed Brain, I came to see you." She smiled, standing on her toes to kiss him again.</p><p>"Of course," Percy smiled. Annabeth called him Seaweed Brain because her father had taken the two of them out on his boat and Percy had proceeded to gracefully fall into the water. When he had emerged from the depths he had been covered from head to toe in thick, salty green seaweed.</p><p>"Why are you out here? What are you doing, just watching the rain?"She grabbed his hand, they were so comfortable together, she and him.</p><p>"Something like that," Percy smiled. "Come on, since you're here you can come in."</p><p>"I can't stay long, I've got practice." Mathletes. But, she followed behind him, locking his fingers in her own again. Starting off as friends they had been together for the past year (give or take a few months) and it had always been easy between them. It shouldn't have been, but somehow it was. For instance: Annabeth was a genius when it came to math. Actually, she was a genius when it came to everything; but math more so than all the other subjects. She was structurally minded and ambitious. She got all A's, she did extracurricular activities, and it always seemed effortless. Percy, on the other hand, worked almost tirelessly for his grades. She made him better in that respect, he wanted to be worthy of dating her. If they weren't together he'd probably have been goofing off with Grover playing video games, strumming guitars, skating, or something inconsequential like that.</p><p>Well, more than they normally did anyway.</p><p>Besides, he wasn't nearly as ambitious as she was, not that Annabeth was always "on". When there was downtime she could be found playing baseball, or swimming, most likely she'd be reading a "how-to" manual though, or going through her favorite architect's notes. And yet, with how very little they had in common (music, movies, books, etc.) it had been working this long.</p><p>Annabeth's schedule kept her busy lately and a part of Percy wanted to tell her that he and Grover had smoked pot a few days ago, but that would also bring up The Conversation they had had as well. He wasn't sure that was something he wanted to talk about with her just yet.</p><p>Besides, he wasn't gay if he had a girlfriend.</p><p>Percy led her to his room, closing the door behind them. Turning he ran a finger up her arm as she sat her umbrella aside, she looked up at him over the rim over her cap and smiled. "I missed you." He said, and he had. At school they barely saw one another, and then after that with his practice and her practice there wasn't a lot of time in between.</p><p>"I know," She said taking her hat off and laying it on his desk, her hair fell all around her shoulders in gold ringlets, her gray eyes shining brightly. "I missed you too, Perce. That's why I stopped by." Her hand grabbed the hem of his shirt.</p><p>"How long do you have till you've got to get to your meeting?" He asked, her fingers touching his stomach now, fingernails lightly scraping across the flesh and raising goose bumps.</p><p>"About forty-five minutes," Annabeth grinned.</p><p>"Good." Percy brought his mouth down on hers and her hands rested underneath his shirt on top of his chest. Annabeth was slim, but not skinny. Percy's hand travelled down the full curve of her back, then his hand flitted under her shirt until he had it pulled off, then they came to rest on the clasp of her bra.</p><p>Her grin turned into a smirk, "You think you're getting under-the-bra action?"</p><p>"I feel like I've earned it." Percy said with a lopsided smile, "it's hard for me to look so cute while I've got my girlfriend's boobs pressed against me. I deserve a reward"</p><p>"And who told you you were cute?" Annabeth asked cheekily, her eyebrow rising slightly.</p><p>"You did," Percy kissed her neck. "Or at least you were thinking it."</p><p>"Mm," She didn't stop him when his fingers began fumbling to unclasp her bra. She also didn't say aloud how amused she was that it always took him so long to get it undone. She waited patiently until he unknowingly went 'Ah ha!' under his breath, which always made her chuckle. "You're hopeless,"</p><p>"Only when you wear the fancy ones," Percy replied with red cheeks, adorably embarrased.</p><p>"Hate to tell you, Seaweed Brain, but this isn't a fancy one." She pulled his shirt over his head and conversation evaporated into thin air as skin touched skin. She led him over to his bed and sat, he followed behind wrapping his hands around her sides and kissing her till they were falling backwards into the pillows.</p><p>Annabeth's skin was soft under his fingertips, so soft and warm and with the chill that the rain had seeped into him Percy was thankful for it. She was smiling at him, her hair haloed all around her head and he thought that he had never seen a girl who was more beautiful than her. He told her so and she laughed.</p><p>"That's a pretty big compliment," She said, the corners of her lips twisted upward.</p><p>"It's true," He said kissing her again.</p><p>"No," She said, "I meant what's poking me in the leg, Seaweed Brain."</p><p>
  <strong>777</strong>
</p><p>"Do you have to go?" Percy asked, his voice low and guttural in her ear. Annabeth was curled into him and he was playing with a lock of her hair, fiddling with it between his fingers. "It feels like it's been forever since I got to see you."</p><p>"I've got to," She said, "I mean, school is ending but we've got Nationals next week and we're already in the top ten, I think we can win it."</p><p>"With you on the team they can't lose," He smiled at her laugh. But a wave of emotion hit him as he ran his other hand up the side of her leg. He really cared for Annabeth, she was perfect for him. Literally perfect. She was smart, but she was cool, and they might not have liked the same movies and music, but they did have some things in common. And he loved spending time with her, God knew. And she was beautiful, gorgeous even.</p><p>But…</p><p>He stopped himself from sighing aloud.</p><p>But it didn't feel right when he really thought about it. It didn't feel like he wanted it to. He liked her, but a part of him had always wondered if he was really attracted to her or if he was forcing himself to be.</p><p>He was so fond of her. But, you can't say, "I'm fond of you." Not when you're boyfriend and girlfriend. He held on tighter to her not wanting to feel the things he was feeling. "Well, I wish you could stay," He said kissing her shoulder and he meant it.</p><p>"I don't want to leave, I miss seeing you. I miss you watching me, I miss coming to your games, and doing this." This. They hadn't gone as far as sex yet, it was a bridge they just hadn't crossed and Percy wasn't sure if it was because the idea terrified him, or because they were waiting.</p><p>And it did terrify him. Percy thought about sex, he wasn't celibate or asexual, but for some reason when he thought of being with his girlfriend it made him feel like he had cement in his stomach. He told himself it was nerves. When it was someone as special as Annabeth he didn't want to rush into anything. And he believed that, or he told himself he did.</p><p>He tried to shut his brain off, he didn't want to ruin their moment with too much thinking.</p><p>Annabeth's phone rang and she sighed. "I have to get that, babe."</p><p>"You can be mine just a little while longer," Percy nibbled on her ear because he knew it would make her laugh. She squealed, nearly jumping off the bed, and hit him playfully on the arm.</p><p>"Stop!" She laughed, climbing on top of him. Like spider's legs he ran his hands up her side and she continued giggling. Finally she kissed him and he let her go. "Hello?" She answered her phone. "Reyna, calm down, I'll be there in, like, fifteen minutes." She paused. "Percy, Rey says hello." Percy smiled, Reyna was Annabeth's best friend and probably her biggest rival when it came to all things academic. It was a love/hate relationship considering they both had 4.0 GPAs, and were battling for Valedictorian.</p><p>"Hey, Rey." Her boyfriend answered, which Annabeth related back to the girl on the phone. After a while Percy just let the rise and fall of her voice become background noise, along with the rain. It was comfortable as he watched her dress. He might not have always been sure if he wanted to become physically intimate with her yet, but there was no denying that she was desirable.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, I'm on the way." She paused, clearly listening to Reyna's side of the conversation. "I'm not going to be late, Rey." Then she blushed and Percy smiled. "We can totally keep it in our pants!" She hung up and sighed. Turning around she was completely dressed now. "I gotta go." But she came and sat on the bed. "Thanks, by the way," She ran a hand down his stomach. "I had fun."</p><p>"Well, I try." Percy grinned. She hit him on top of his head. "Ouch!"</p><p>"Just trying to stop you from getting a big head." She kissed him again and then stood and pulled her hat on, grabbing her umbrella. "When the Summer comes let's go somewhere, just you and me."</p><p>"I—" An idea hit him. "Yeah, my parents have a cabin up in the woods. We used to go up there all the time when I was a kid." Emotion tried to push its way into Percy's chest at the thought, but he swallowed it down. Annabeth grinned.</p><p>"Sounds perfect. Bye, Seaweed Brain," She kissed him one last time quickly on the lips and exited the room, leaving Percy with his thoughts.</p><p>Maybe, he thought, if he took her to the cabin he could make some new memories. It might make him feel more normal.</p><hr/><p>"I can't believe you got me to watch that," They were exiting the theater, Rachel, Frank, Nico, and Leo.</p><p>Leo was grinning from ear to ear, "It was awesome!"</p><p>"I've got to admit, Rach, it was pretty good." Nico smirked, elbowing her. "You liked it." Rachel rolled her eyes, trying and failing to hide a smile.</p><p>"Frank cried like a baby," She replied.</p><p>"Excuse me for having some kind of emotion," But Frank's cheeks were red with embarrassment. "I liked it, I can admit to still liking cartoons, Rach."</p><p>"Ugh, fine. It was okay, if you're into that kinda thing." Leo threw an arm around her shoulder.</p><p>"Maybe there's hope for you yet," He and Frank laughed. After lunch they had decided there was no need to depart so everyone had piled up at Nico's house, crammed into his room. Nico (his insistence futile) had ended up doing Leo's homework, though he had made Leo read it, go over it and rewrite it in his own words.</p><p>'<em>What's the point of you doing it for me if I have to write it again?</em>' Leo asked, to which Nico informed him that he wouldn't learn if everyone did the work for him. Rachel had been on his bed, finishing up some work of her own, and Frank was fiddling in the corner with his 3DS.</p><p>After an hour or so when everyone had announced boredom the theater was the obvious answer. Nico had enjoyed the movie, every now and then something lighthearted was needed in your life. It didn't help that Octavian had been texting him throughout the entire thing. His ex took mood swings to an entirely new plane of existence.</p><p>He wanted to tell the others but that look of protectiveness in Frank's eye last time, and everyone else's reaction made him worry for O's health. He supposed he was lucky to have friends who wanted him safe. It was amazing that they still put up with him with all the shit he went through and took them through.</p><p>"You're thinking too hard again, your face is all screwed up." Frank said closely to his hear, it was almost a whisper. "Octavian?" Nico shrugged.</p><p>"It's nothing," He said. "Come on, I need to get back home. I did Leo's homework but I didn't finish mine." Frank pursed his lips but didn't say anything, following Leo to his Jeep. Nico climbed in the back, not glancing once at his phone.</p><p>
  <strong>777</strong>
</p><p>When he got home Nico bid his friends farewell. He knew the school year was winding down and he was just trying not think about it. He had another week left, and he was supposed to be packing but he couldn't bring himself to even start.</p><p>"Nico," Bianca was coming down the stairs as he was going up them. He and his sister hadn't really spoken since she'd flushed his pills. He stared at her blankly, still obviously upset with the whole situation. She had no right to do something like that, and then on top of it she threatened him with telling his parents about the secrets he had shared with her.</p><p>"I don't have any reason to talk to you,"</p><p>Bianca rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair, she scoffed before she said, "Look, I know you're not happy with me, but you're leaving in the week after next and then I won't see you for three months. We need to work this out."</p><p>"Look, you're going to tell Mom and Dad all of my shit before we leave, I know the only reason you haven't done it yet is because you think you're doing me a favor by letting me have a good last few days here, but I'll still have to put up with it when we leave. I still have to go to a therapist who will tell me the only thing that's wrong with me is that I make up problems and can't cope with them because I don't want to. I've done the song and dance before, so you might as well get it over with."</p><p>"You've got it all figured out then, don't you?" Bianca asked, standing to her full height and looking down into his eyes.</p><p>"I don't have any reason to talk to you, Bianca. So if you don't mind I'm just gonna go ahead and go, nice talking to you, sis." Nico shouldered past her.</p><p>"Your ex-boyfriend stopped by earlier." Nico's step faltered. "He wasn't as cute as you said he was, kinda looked a lot like a drug addict." Nico turned slowly, seeing red. "How old was he? Twenty-three? Twenty-four? Jesus Nico, you didn't tell me how much older than you he was."</p><p>"It's not really any of your goddamn business, Bianca." Nico's voice was a strangled whisper.</p><p>"I think it is when your crazy ex shows up out of the blue yelling and screaming outside of our house. Dad was pissed." Her eyes softened. "He said he was going to find you wherever you went, Nico. He said you were his, and that you owed him."</p><p>A black feeling settled over Nico then, his insides felt as if they were being squeezed. Nico had been going through small withdrawals for the past few days. He would wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, he hadn't really eaten, wasn't having bowl movements, he would get migraines when light got too bright, and his body would shake sometimes without his permission. He wasn't sure if he was going through that at the moment or if he was genuinely worried about Octavian. He pinched the bridge of his nose, "He's harmless."</p><p>"He didn't sound harmless,"</p><p>"I'm glad you're worried about me, Bianca." Nico smiled without mirth, but his heart was hammering in chest.</p><p>"Stop being a dick, Nico. You're better than that."</p><p>"How would you know?" He was just being difficult now and he knew it.</p><p>"You know what? Fuck it. If your boyfriend kills himself I don't give a damn. I hope that therapist can fix your fucking attitude." And with that Bianca stormed away, not once looking back at him. Her words rung in his head though.</p><p><em>Kill himself</em>.</p><p>'<em>Octavian wouldn't do that</em>.' He thought, his breathing become shallow and shaking. He gripped the railing of the stairs and fumbled for his phone. All of O's threats were directed at him, but he hadn't even taken a second to think that Octavian would ever stoop to self harm. Nico followed after his sister, she was in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee.</p><p>"What do you mean my boyfriend is going to kill himself?" He asked, standing in front of her.</p><p>To her credit Bianca wasn't snarky, nor did she ignore him or answer him sarcastically; which made him feel worse for the things he'd only just said to her. "He thought you were here," She said, "He was screaming his head off, I don't think he was sober. He said if you didn't come back to him the next time anybody saw him it'd be in a body bag." She sat her coffee down on the counter. "You don't think he was serious, do you?"</p><p>"I don't even fucking know with O." Nico grabbed at his hair. "Fuck. And you said Dad heard all of that?"</p><p>"Oh, he's not happy. I think you're singlehandedly turning his hair gray." Bianca laughed once, trying to lighten the mood a little. "Mom said they would try to talk to you, but that they were going to have to bring everything up with your psychiatrist."</p><p>"Fucking hell, Bianca. I've fucked everything up. If I could just get over my goddamned self we wouldn't even be going back to New York. We wouldn't have even left!"</p><p>Bianca picked up her cup again. "It's not your fault, Nico. Shit happens, you know that better than anyone. If this woman is as good as they say she is then maybe she can get you sorted out."</p><p>"I don't think anyone can do that," Nico said turning around, "I have to go check on Octavian. Can I borrow your keys?"</p><p>Bianca's mouth thinned into a frown, "Nico, you have got to be careful with this guy. He's crazy."</p><p>"Ugh," Nico's eyes began to plead, "if you let me have your keys you can tell Dad everything and I won't be mad at you. Just. Just please, he needs me." Bianca sighed heavily but reached into her pocket.</p><p>"Promise me you'll be careful." She said handing them to him.</p><p>"I promise." And then Nico was outside, and he was in the car. He could remember backing out of the driveway and he hit the streets.</p><hr/><p>Bianca's coup was speeding down the empty road, the backlights stretching into tendrils in the darkness, a tail of speed as Nico barreled down the road. Octavian wasn't answering his phone, it wasn't going straight to voicemail but every other ring it would which meant O was ignoring his calls.</p><p>He was still alive and that's all Nico cared about.</p><p>The night was pitch black, not even a star twinkled in the night sky and Nico's high beams split the night like a hot knife through butter. He took a hard left, the tires squealing loudly in the quiet night. It was a wonder that he had not passed a police officer, but even that wasn't enough to slow him down. He pressed the gas harder, not quite in the triple digits yet but the car was growing harder to control.</p><p>With a final left he careened the coup into a parking space, throwing it into park and ripping the keys from the ignition he slammed the door closed behind him. It had been four days since he'd run down these stairs and now he was running back up them. His heart was hammering in his chest, each beat felt like it would be the one to break his ribs, and his breathing was shallow.</p><p>Finally he reached the top floor.</p><p>He fumbled with the keys in his pocket, the ones that were his and not Bianca's. He found the one he was looking for, the very seldom used door key to O's apartment. Nearly breaking the door down he shouldered in.</p><p>Up until this moment Nico had no idea what he would do or say to Octavian to stop him. Or what he would do if he was too late. The rush of getting here, to this place, had been the one thought that kept his foot pressed down hard on the gas pedal and now that he was here his mind went blank.</p><p>The air stank of marijuana, which wasn't anything new. But there was also the heavy scent of hard liquor lingering in the atmosphere. Nico wasn't sure which liquor it was but it allowed him to locate his ex-boyfriend, who was curled around a bottle, several others littering the ground about him. Cautiously Nico walked the few feet over the to the older man, his sides barely rising or falling at all, until he stood before him to see the flutter of his eyes.</p><p>O's eyes were Nico's favorite part about him. They were so breathtaking and blue, but there was a hazy film over them now and Octavian looked more blind than anything else. His hair was erratic, blond roots now more grown out to cause a chaotic forest of brown and yellow. Not only that but it was a tangled nest, obviously it had not been combed or brushed in days. The sockets of his eyes were slightly sunken in and darkened, as if he hadn't slept at all since Nico had been gone.</p><p>But, a small smile curled at the ends of his chapped and dry lips. Recognition flooded his face and he reached an arm up to Nico. In the arm there was a syringe inserted where the forearm met the arm, and tied just above that was a tourniquet of sorts made out of clothe. Nico gingerly pulled the syringe out of Octavian's arm and threw it aside, he untied the tourniquet and he ran his fingers through O's hair. Those blue eyes closed immediately.</p><p>"Knew you would come." Octavian rasped out, his voice dry and shaking.</p><p>Nico felt the tears rolling down his face before he knew he was crying, "Of course I did." He said softly.</p><p>"I tried to kill myself." Octavian stared at him hard through film covered eyes. "It's hard to breath, babe." Nico fumbled for his phone, dialing 9-1-1 the instant he could. He gave the dispatcher the address, though he sounded hysterical in his own ears, and then they had to play the waiting game. Octavian gripped his arm, he had a surprising amount of strength left. "Why did you leave me?" His voice was demanding and tears were falling out of his eyes. "You're supposed to be <em>my </em>boyfriend, not anyone else's. You're mine and you left me."</p><p>Nico stroked his face, his insides jumbled and tangled and he bit his lip to keep it from quivering. "I know, baby." He cooed. "I'm so fucking sorry. This is my fault. This is all my fault. Please, just keep breathing." He sat on the ground cross legged and pulled Octavian's head into his lap where he continued to stroke his brown-blond hair. O's eyes were closed, but his chest was still rising and falling.</p><p>"Mine." He grumbled and Nico shook from the effort of not bellowing his sobs.</p><p>"That's right." He said, trying not to count all six bottles of vodka plus the one death-gripped in O's opposite hand. "I'm yours." And whether it was whatever drugs where in his system, all the liquor, or the lack of sleep Octavian drifted off into a very still slumber. Nico had to feel his heartbeat several times to make sure the older man was still alive.</p><p>When the ambulance arrived they brought a stretcher up to the door, not that they needed it. Octavian may have been tall but he was so skinny Nico was sure even he could pick him up with some effort. He followed the paramedics down to the emergency vehicle and climbed in, the used syringe in hand. He gave it to one of the medical professionals and told them what he knew. They told him they would have to test it to know what it was but that a form of liquid LSD was going around that was particularly popular, especially with kids his age.</p><p>Nico nodded absently, grabbed Octavian's hand as the doors swung closed and the ambulance bounded down the street driving faster than even Nico could have, the sirens blaring.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lights of the hospital washed out any color on Nico's face, but they highlighted the dark bags under his eyes, making him look gaunt and hollow. His eyes themselves were dark and sullen as he sat in the waiting room, foot tapping on the tile impatiently. People were rushing in and out, and as late as it was the emergency room was still so busy. There was a woman in the corner crying to herself, her son had been in a car accident. A young couple with a child younger than Nico that had some kind of stomach bug sat holding hands across from him. They were looking at Nico with pity. What was a kid like him doing here so late, their faces seemed to ask. If only they knew his twenty-two year old boyfriend was laying around in here somewhere half dead and on suicide watch.</p><p>Nico wrung his hands together and looked away from them. More people floundered in and out of the waiting room. A guy who had been in a motorcycle accident but who didn't have proper insurance, an elderly woman who looked confused at where she was and her son who would whisper something soothingly in her ear every now and again.</p><p>Finally a flash of red hair caught Nico's attention. He stood as Rachel came over to him; she was dressed in just her pajamas and a sneer. "What the hell, Nico?" They sat but the glare didn't lessen, as if she knew what had happened and was thoroughly annoyed with him already.</p><p>"It's O." Nico answered with a shrug and she scoffed, but, his lip trembled, threatening tears. She cursed silently. "He almost ODed." The first few tears pushed their way down his cheek as he collapsed into her warmth.</p><p>"Fuck." She pulled him into a hug and it took all of Nico's resolve not to breakdown completely in her arms. "Nico, you know he did this just to get your attention don't you?" They looked at each other for a long second, Nico was slow to yield to that logic and Rachel wouldn't take it back, he knew. "You can't be here when he wakes up." She grabbed his hands as he began to wring them together again. "You know that."</p><p>Nico squeezed their hands together, "He tried to kill himself, Rach. Because of me."</p><p>"That's not your fault, Nico. He isn't your problem. Not anymore." She wiped the lone tear that slunk down his cheek away with her thumb. "He stopped being your problem when he hit you."</p><p>Nico shook his head, "It was just one time." The panic of having discovered Octavian lying there, barely moving, barely breathing flared in Nico's stomach. He had to breathe, he had to remind himself to breathe as an achy, burning feeling began to flow through his veins. "He won't do it again."</p><p>"Slapping some sense into you would severely contradict the point I'm trying to get across," Rachel replied looking bemused. She kept her mouth closed though, holding Nico's hand while he cried silently against her shoulder.</p><p>She didn't bring up the fact that it was three o'clock in the morning on a school day, or that she had snuck out of the house to come here. That was all irrelevant, she had come when he had called her. She knew she was the only one he <em>would </em>call. Leo wouldn't answer the phone this late—nothing could wake him up short of a barrage of stampeding elephants through his room, and even then if he were to awaken he would talk Nico into leaving. Frank would have come, picked Nico up by the waist, slung him over his back and driven him home. Rachel was the only one who he would call because she was the only one who would let him stay.</p><p>She stared at him as he stared at nothing in particular, and she could see his thoughts racing in his head. His eyes were moving all around as if her presence had provided him enough peace of mind to finally calm down and think. They were still holding hands, his were clammy and cold and shaking still. His jaw continued to clench and unclench, and she could see his body shaking as well. She wanted to comfort him, but he was in that unreachable place he went to when he was upset and she could only watch.</p><p>Finally, about thirty minutes later, a man walked into the waiting room. He wore a white lab coat and a pair of thick glasses. "di Angelo?" He asked and Nico shot up, Rachel not far behind him. The man motioned him over and they came to stand in front of him, "Your boyfriend is going to be alright, he's had his stomach pumped and is sleeping. The only thing we can do now is wait for the drugs to run out of his system and start him on detox. You should go home, try to get some rest."</p><p>Nico gave the man an anxious look, "Can I see him?" He asked, but the man shook his head. He was balding and what little hair he did have was gray.</p><p>"I'm afraid not," The doctor replied. "visiting hours are from seven till ten, you can come back in four hours if you'd like but otherwise we can't allow you back there disturbing his rest." Nico nodded, his head felt heavy and his eyes were beginning to prickle with tears. "I …" The doctor began but seemed to rephrase the question midsentence. "The police have been notified," Nico's head shot up.</p><p>"What?" He asked, astounded.</p><p>"It was only a precautionary measure, we do that sort of thing with situations like yours. Usually it's the under-aged one that ends up in that bed though." Nico felt sick, his stomach was queasy and things were beginning to spin. Rachel grabbed him by the shoulder to steady him. "You don't have to file a report if you don't want to, but I realize that sometimes you feel like you don't have a choice when it comes to certain things, or when older partners push things onto you. If you want it it's a way out."</p><p>Nico looked at the bespectacled man, and as sick as he felt he also felt anger. How dare this man! But Rachel preempted him, her hand squeezing his shoulder even more tightly. "Thank you, doctor. We'll take that into consideration." She said, shooting Nico a look that quieted him. He swallowed his anger and it only seemed to be chased by sorrow.</p><p>The doctor smiled at them kindly, his eyes sympathetic. Nico looked away. "You're welcome." He said. "You children please drive home safely." Then he turned and made his way back down the long, sterile hallway of the hospital. Rachel went to grab Nico's hand, but he was radiating a strong vibe that made her curl her fingers back. There was a look on his face, one she didn't like. He looked like he was making a split second decision.</p><p>"Nico, no—!" But as the words left her mouth he was sprinting. Sprinting down the hall he nearly barreled into the doctor as looked in every room he came across.</p><p>Rachel cursed under her breath. She heard someone call security, and she took off, not too far behind him. Sometimes, she thought, this fucking kid was too much to handle. She followed him as best she could, but he had a considerable head start. Even still she caught up to him rather quickly since he couldn't pass any room up without making sure that Octavian wasn't in it. By the time she was on his heels he seemed to find the one he was looking for though. He ducked into a room at the end of that hall, and really Rachel was just thankful she didn't have to chase him to another floor.</p><p>She looked behind them; the doctor that had greeted them looked befuddled. A few of the nurses were shaking their heads, and two gentlemen in black tee-shirts that said 'Security' in white font on them were quickly making their way towards her.</p><p>"Fuck." She cursed again and ducked into the room Nico had nearly thrown himself into. "Nico, you've been doing a lot of dumb shit recently, I'm starting to get fed up with it." She groused, glaring a hole in the back of his head. But Nico's vision was on Octavian.</p><p>O was propped up in the bed, a heartbeat monitor proclaiming him alive. He had breathing tubes in his nostrils and IVs in his arms. Rachel had only seen him a handful of times, and each time she looked at him she thought he appeared somewhat malnourished. He didn't look like someone who abused drugs, in fact, he didn't look terribly much older than her aside from the beard that was starting to grow in under his chin. But a lot of boys in her year were growing those, or attempting to. If anything she thought he looked restful laying there, and she couldn't imagine someone so frail looking to have ever hit Nico.</p><p>She watched her friend walk over to the bedside and she knew they had a matter of seconds before security dealt with them. Nico squeezed Octavian's hand, and to Rachel's mortification he smiled in a pleasant and happy sort of way. "He's warm now," Nico's voice was a whisper. "When I called the ambulance his skin was so cold."</p><p>Rachel didn't have time to respond, there was a firm grasp around her arm and she turned to see a middle-aged man glaring down at her. She offered him her best smile, but she couldn't manage anything but a bashful grin. The other guard grabbed Nico by the arm as well, and of course the young man didn't protest this time. He had gotten what he'd wanted. Rachel balled her fist up and anger began to bubble in her chest.</p><p>She could have stayed home, could have let him deal with this shit on his own, but instead she had come and now look what that had gotten her. She was about to be ejected from a hospital. "Nico, you ass." Rachel growled, the guard lifted her by the waist though she didn't protest. They were dragged to the entrance and kindly thrown out. When the automatic doors shut Rachel turned, her gaze hard on Nico who would not meet her eye.</p><p>"Rachel, I—"</p><p>"Save it, Nico." She huffed, clearly pissed. "Where is your car? I'm gonna guess at his apartment?" Nico nodded. "Get your ass to the car, do not talk to me, do not look at me. I am so fed up with you right now." Again Nico only nodded. He knew he had fucked up, it seemed to be the only thing he was good at. He climbed into her car.</p><p>"Rachel, I'm sor—"</p><p>"No." Rachel turned the engine over. Nico's mouth set in a hard line, he looked away and they rode in silence for the duration of drive to Octavian's apartment. When she pulled up to the curb Rachel unlocked his door and Nico stepped out onto the street. When the door was shut and he was turned to walk to Bianca's car she rolled the window down. "I hope he makes you happy, Nico. I really hope you enjoy being with him, but I don't know if I can be friends with you while you're with him. You know better, and I can't keep consoling you while he does this shit to you."</p><p>"Rachel, he likes me. It doesn't matter what he does to me, he <em>likes </em>me. He knows me—the real me—and he still likes me. That's so fucking rare for me." Nico answered, his eyes were still wet with tears.</p><p>"He might like you, Nico, but we love you. We've always been there for you so how do you think we feel when we see you settling for less than what you deserve? Because you're so caught up on the concept that nobody can love you that you'll take whatever shitty guy just walks through your life. You're better than that, Neeks. I fucking wish you would see it." She sighed. "Go home, Nico. And I meant what I said, while you're with Octavian I don't think I can be friends with you."</p><p>"I understand." His voice was quiet but his eyes were dry. "You're the best, Rach."</p><p>"I know," Rachel offered him a smile. "you'll get through this, Nico. I've done all I can." With a last meaningful look she pulled away, Nico watched her taillights until they were gone. He knew he had been wrong to run after Octavian, to go searching for him but even still he was happy he did. He reached for his phone to check the time only to see that he had missed four calls from his father. This day was an amalgamation of his life for the past two years.</p><p>He put his phone away, it was four-thirty in the morning and he would deal with his father once he got home. Unlocking the car he sat in the driver's seat, he started the engine and was soon heading back home himself.</p><hr/><p>It was no surprise that Hades was livid. Nico wasn't sure if livid was even the proper word for it, Hades was purple faced and almost foaming at the mouth. The vein at the top left corner of his forehead was throbbing and he continued to clench and unclench his fists.</p><p>"Nico," The scariest part, however, was the steady, low beat of his voice. Maria was not culling his anger, her face was a shroud of concern, but her eyes were so dark the pupil was indefinable. Nico knew his mother was angry as well but she would show it in different ways. "Nico." Nico turned his attention back to his father who was obviously trying his damndest to be civil. "Son, I try. I do. I want so much to understand you, but you keep pulling away from me. You keep pulling away from us." He took Maria's hand, probably to keep his own from shaking with anger. "I can't condone your behavior, none of it. The drug abuse, the self-harm, the drinking, the smoking. I know about all of it, and I have had it up to here with you." He held his hand up as if to illustrate his point. "I bumped your appointment up, we're leaving tomorrow. Your mother has already packed all of your things. This is not up for debate. Go to bed, goodnight."</p><p>And Nico was so tired that he didn't argue, instead he walked up the stairs and collapsed into bed. He had three hours before he was supposed to be at school. Since it was his last day he didn't set the alarm. Hell, he wasn't going to go to school. Nico had only just affirmed that his boyfriend was alive, he had basically just been let go by one of his best friends, and now he was moving back to the place his heart had been broken for the first time to see a child shrink.</p><p>By this point he was just sort of numb. Cutting would have been his release, watching the blood flow from his arms and thighs and the back of his legs and the lightheaded wooziness that overtook him if he let them bleed for too long. It was a feeling he coveted. But tonight he didn't care. He didn't care that he didn't have his pills that made everything get slowly swallowed up by darkness, he didn't care enough to break a shard of his window to drag across his wrist.</p><p>He was just so fucking tired.</p><p>Flopping down onto his bed he fell into a fitful and unrestful sleep. He tossed and turned as he slept, kicking and dreaming horrible, fleeting dreams that left echoes of nightmares in his head. When he cracked his eyes open the world was still dark, his house was quiet and his head was ringing. There was a pain behind his eyes and he couldn't tell if it was a headache or from crying too much, but he found he still didn't care.</p><p>He looked at his clock, it was only two hours later. <em>Great</em>. He thought to himself because not only was he up now but he was also wide awake. Closing his eyes for a few minutes with no results let him know that. He heaved himself out of bed. This was definitely not going to be a fun day. On top of the very little bit of sleep he'd gotten he still felt the need for a release of some sort. Just something quick to relieve himself of all of his emotions.</p><p>He considered masturbating but shook his head. He didn't feel up to it, and something about that sort of release seemed even more temporary than the rush that came over him when he sliced his own skin open. Rolling his eyes at his own morbidity he grabbed a towel and walked to the bathroom, deciding that if he was going to be up this early he might as well go have one last day with his friends. Maybe Rachel would let him apologize if she knew that his parents had very nearly gone full on ballistic upon his arrival home. He knew her well enough to know she couldn't stay mad at him very long. It didn't excuse his behavior and he knew that.</p><p>A small self-deprecating smile turned the sides of his lips upwards, didn't these people know he was crazy? Or at least not all there? Or something? Either way he knew that he had lost control of his life somewhere along the way and it only seemed to affect his relationships with the people he cared about the most.</p><p>Moving to the bathroom he quickly removed his clothing hoping a shower would relieve some of the tension that had somehow settled into him over the course of two hours. When naked he stopped and looked in the mirror. God he was skinny. He ran a hand down his side, feeling each rib. His eyes raked over the normally hidden scars, each one like a highlight against his skin. The ones on his wrists had mostly cleared up, they were his experimental ones and people had asked about them almost immediately so he'd stopped his cutting there. His sides, however, and the insides of his thighs were like a battlefield. He didn't take his shirt off in front of his family so they never saw it. Well, Bianca had seen once when she had barged in on him once, but she quickly excused herself. Of course, they had talked about it not too long after that. Bianca always wanted to talk. Nico couldn't say his problems came from not having an outlet, it was that talking also wasn't a big enough relief for him.</p><p>His eyes could only take the sight of his skinny form so much longer. He pulled the hammer to that connected the faucet of the tub to the showerhead and stepped inside the bath almost purring at how hot the water was. It was nearly scalding on his skin. He ran a hand through his hair and reached for the shampoo, then the showering process began.</p><p>When he emerged from his cocoon of steam he brushed his teeth and set to combing his hair, styling it especially well since today was going to be his last day among the peers he had come to hold so near and dear. He smirked to himself, he hated his so called peers. Well, most of ones who were total assholes were afflicted with some other form of douchebaggery. It always amused him that in a Californian high-school he, Leo, and Frank were the only truly out kids. He knew a great deal of the student populace had some sexual preference that crossed passed the threshold of heterosexual into the grayer areas of sexuality.</p><p>Or the more rainbow filled?</p><p>It was hard to keep up. He shook his head; the point was that it was a shame he and his friends were the only ones with enough courage to be themselves. The bigger shame, he knew, was that the other students felt they had to be courageous to be who they were. It should have been as easy as breathing.</p><p>He was pulled from his reverie when a soft knock from the door echoed inside of the bathroom. "Nico, sweetie?" It was his mom. He wrapped his towel around his waist and moved to the door without thinking. His mother's face was sweet, as was the small smile on her lips, until her eyes fell to his sides. Her face fell. Nico felt his own face filling with blood as embarrassment washed over him. How could he be so stupid? Her hand reached out but she curled her fingers back into a fist. "I—" She said blinking a couple of times before very obviously forcing herself to smile and look him in the eyes. "I thought I'd take you to school today, how's that sound?"</p><p>"Sounds—sounds good, Mom." Nico answered, clearly shaken. He searched her face for disappointment, but he found none. She leaned in and kissed his forehead.</p><p>"Good. We'll stop on the way and get some breakfast in you, people must think I don't feed you." Her eyes lingered on his body again, assessing the damage but under the assumption of assessing her own motherhood. She clicked her tongue, shook her head, and kissed his cheek. As she left Nico knew she had internalized that anger, that was always how she did things. She would internalize the anger and turn it into love with which to smother out whatever problem presented itself. Could have been a lot unhealthier, Nico thought. And he had gotten off scot-free about his scars. But he knew that was only temporary. His parents thought they had done all they could with him and now he was the specialist's problem to deal with.</p><p>He sighed, it was too early or all this bullshit. He walked swiftly back to his room and got dressed: a simple black button down shirt, which he left untucked but rolled the sleeves up to his forearms, and a pair of dark denim jeans. Looking around his room he saw for the first time how bare it looked. Most of the things he usually used were in suitcases leaned against his closest. His mother had left him just the one outfit on his back and an extra one on his dresser. He would have to pack away his deodorant and colognes on his own, but he was at least capable of that much.</p><p>He glanced over at his clock. Seven-fifteen. He'd been in the shower a little over an hour and he had to be to school soon. He forewent grabbing his backpack as he had already had his finals and had given the books back and now they were on preliminary summer mode where school was just barely a façade they had to keep up so they met their quota of school days.</p><p>There was another knock on his door, "I'm coming in," His mother announced. She gave him fair warning had he been nude still because a full ten seconds went by before she opened the door. Nico actually had to call, "It's open." To get her to come in. When she did she smiled again as if seeing him just made her light up. Guilt settled on his shoulders heavily as he considered what his parents must have been feeling about his whole situation.</p><p>His father was clearly irate, pushed into a territory where all his fury and anger meant nothing. These weren't matters he could solve with his fists or with his quick wit, and it seemed like no matter how much money he threw at it Nico didn't seem to be getting any better. Nico wondered if it was anything medical at all. He just hated himself, hated what he had become over such a simple matter as rejection some two years ago. It had ruled his life till this point and it had dragged him and everyone else down with him.</p><p>"You ready to go, sweetheart?" Maria asked, touching his cheek softly. He looked up at her and thought about how he had the most beautiful mother in the world. He swallowed, overcome by the grief he had caused her, and because he didn't trust his voice he nodded.</p><p>He wished he could tell her that he would start over, be a better person right then and there, and not be self-conscious, self-degrading, self-harming, or self-abusive anymore. But he knew himself. These moments of clarity did nothing to shield him from those times of depression. Those times wherein he just wanted something to take the edge off. Like this morning, or before that just before he had gone to sleep. His fingers itched as he had to fight off a spasm of desire for narcotics. His body had been in detox mode since he and Octavian broken up the week before, the worst night had been the first four, and he had hidden himself in his room so his family didn't see him like that. Shaking and crying and stuttering. He had only barely stemmed his yelling. He had barely slept, the dreams that plagued him had been horrid. Worse than nightmares. Hellish fantasies brought on by his body working out everything in his system. He shuddered but his mother didn't seem to see.</p><p>They walked to her car, a light blue four door sedan in their two car driveway. Nico had parked Bianca's car in the yard when he got back, no damage was done though so that was something off of his mind.</p><p>As they drove Nico felt the air shift and with it the mood. He and Maria didn't talk often, his parents had been big fans of giving him space and believing their son would come to them when he needed them. They had been wrong. He looked at her, her sharp Italian nose the central point of her profile. Defined jaw line and cheekbones lending to her beauty. Her long black hair was swept back behind her ears and she looked as if she had not been awake much longer than him, nor gotten any more sleep than he.</p><p>"I just want to know why, Nico?" She asked as they came to the first stoplight. Why? There were so many answers to that simple question. But he knew what she wanted to hear: the truth. "It wasn't all because of Percy was it? It can't be. You should never give someone that much control over your life, sweetie."</p><p>"It isn't Percy, Mom." Nico said, figuring if his closet had been aired there was no point in hiding anything now. He thought about it, trying to figure how he was going to word this. "It was at first." He said. "For a long time when we came here none of the other boys measured up to him. No one measured up to him. You have to understand that in my head Percy was perfect. And through all of the guys I was with I wanted someone, just one of them, to match up with him." Nico couldn't look her in the eyes. "The more guys I went through the more of their habits I started picking up. The more—" His mouth tasted like cotton. "the more I gave of myself to them the more I lost. I started to feel like if I couldn't find a Percy out here to love then I could be whatever they wanted. They were all looking for their own some bodies, right? Their own Percys just with different names."</p><p>"Nico how many…"</p><p>"Don't ask." Nico sighed, his eyes squeezing shut. Maria's mouth opened and seemed to hinge again automatically. She swallowed and nodded for him to continue. "Octavian, you've met him by now I'm sure, was the worst of the bunch though. He likes me. I can't pretend to be somebody for him because he likes me. He's great at picking up on when I bullshit him—" He clapped a hand over his mouth. Maria rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Nico, you just told me that you've had an innumerable amount of sex with an unnamable amount of men, if you're worried about saying 'bullshit' you're a little late." She answered.</p><p>Maria was cooler than his Dad at least, "Well he just really good at detecting when I'm not being a hundred percent truthful with him. He called me out on it the first time we…did it. Told me I wasn't being myself and that if I wanted to be with him I had to be 100% me. He—He's very persuasive. Makes everything seem like it's not that big a deal, even shit that's probably a huge deal."</p><p>"Like drugs." Maria said.</p><p>"Yeah, like drugs." He replied.</p><p>"Baby, I wouldn't care if you…I don't know, experimented with marijuana. I mean, I would care. A lot, really. I would be against it, but I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't let you try it. Same with drinking. I was young once. But some of the things you're doing they're just…they kill you Nico. And that's killing me." Somewhere in her speech she had broken down into tears and Nico's heart clenched. She pulled over, her crying was immediately too much for her to see through.</p><p>"Mom." And that guilt became a knife pressed into his heart. Nico undid his seatbelt and immediately had his arms wrapped around her tightly. She was shaking in his arms and the way she fit against him he had never realized how small she was before. You never truly realize how human your parents are.</p><p>"I'm a horrible mother." She wailed and it was the furthest thing from the truth.</p><p>"No. Mom. No…" Nico felt his own eyes watering. He couldn't handle seeing her like this. "You're not. You're so great. You're the best mother in the world. I'm just a shitty son. I'm so bad it's almost funny. Please don't cry." The first tear drop fell out of his eye as she looked up. "I'm so sorry, Mom. I'm sorry." And then before he knew it she was holding him. He wasn't sure if she was crying still but it was flooding out of him now.</p><p>Eventually there were soft lips pressed to the top of his head. "Shh." Maria said soothingly. "Shh. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have cried. We're okay now, Nico. Shh." It took a bit more petting but soon Nico was calmed down again.</p><p>He didn't know who started it, maybe it was the look that passed between them when they were both settled in their own seats again, but somewhere between the two of them laughter seemed to bubble up. Nico couldn't look at his mom and Maria couldn't look at her son, they both broke out into laughter each time.</p><p>They laughed so hard until they cried again, and they kept laughing until it hurt their sides. Finally Nico caught his breath, and shortly after so did his mother. "Nico," She said touching his hand, still smiling and laughing belatedly. "baby, I know we can't fix this all at one time, and I know you're not feeling good about yourself. But I love you. I love you so much and I want you to always remember that." Nico nodded.</p><p>"I love you too, Mom." He said, and he meant it.</p><p>"I know, sweetie." She said. Then she looked at the clock. "Well, with our little breakdown you're late to your last day of school. Since you're already late you still hungry?" He smiled.</p><p>"I am." He said.</p><p>"Good, I know a good place that serves food so good your grandmother would be proud."</p><hr/><p>"Today!?" Frank nearly screeched. He didn't look embarrassed by it as he normally might.</p><p>"I can understand why," Leo said. "You went apeshit crazy in the hospital, not to mention O did the same thing when he busted into your place high on, what, coke? Probably drunk too?"</p><p>"I don't know what he was on," Nico replied. Rachel was doing him the courtesy of sitting with them. He had apologized profusely and then told her what was happening. She deflated almost immediately.</p><p>"You should have known your dad was going to explode. That's a landmine you've been agitating for a long time." She said, looking tired. Nico felt guilty about that, but guilt was becoming like an unwelcome guest inside of his head and he was becoming used to it.</p><p>"I know. I pushed him too far and he pushed back and when he pushes back it's like World War fucking Two. We're leaving early in the morning and touching down at LaGuardia later that day. God, I hate flying."</p><p>"Okay, but you're leaving tomorrow?" Frank asked. He was going to be the hardest one to leave behind. "That fucking sucks."</p><p>"I'm gonna miss you too, Frankie."</p><p>"Yeah, we're all gonna miss each other," Leo said throwing an arm around Nico's shoulder. "The real question to ask is what are you gonna do if you see Ercy-Pay?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" Nico asked.</p><p>"Ercy-Pay, it's Pig Latin—"</p><p>"No, stupid, I know what that means. I meant what do you mean what am I going to do? Walk in the other direction? Ignore him? Depending on the day disembowel him?" Nico answered. "I don't plan on seeing him."</p><p>"Okay, but if you do are you gonna try to get with him?" Leo wondered.</p><p>Nico blinked, "Am I…do I really come across as that stupid?"</p><p>"Yes." Leo replied.</p><p>"A little." Frank said.</p><p>Rachel just laughed. Nico felt his face filling with color. "No. I'm not going to try to fuck him if I see him. I told you, I don't plan on seeing him." He growled, embarrassed again for the second time that day.</p><p>"Okay. Okay. But listen, if I were you—" Nico cut him off.</p><p>"You're not."</p><p>Leo rolled his eyes. "Shut up for a moment so I may impart some of my everlasting knowledge on you, Padawan." Again Rachel laughed loudly, Leo ignored her. "If I were you, and thank God I'm not, but if I was, I'd try to, you know, seduce him a little."</p><p>"That is the worst fucking advice I have ever heard you give in your entire life." Frank said darkly.</p><p>"What? I'm just saying!" Leo said. "Everything that dude's put him through, it would serve him right if Nico turned on some of that charm he so famously never uses until he tries to get some boy into his bed. Mess with his head, screw everything up, and when the summer's over come back with some juicy stories for us to hear."</p><p>"You're such a girl." Rachel said, elbowing him. "All you care about is gossip."</p><p>"And cars." Leo interjected. "And computers. And parts."</p><p>"You're a girlie tech-geek, shut up." Rachel replied. "Still, I don't think it's a horrible idea. Getting to know Percy. I think if you confront him about everything you've gone through it would be good for you."</p><p>"Plus, if he's still hot you could try to fuck him." Rachel elbowed Leo again. Nico's phone rang. He looked at the text message to discover it was his mother come to pick him up.</p><p>"Well, as capitol as those ideas are," Nico began sarcastically, "and really they are, kudos everyone, I still don't think I'm going to even be in the same vicinity as Percy Jackson. If there is any kind of god then Percy's family moved a long time ago." He stood up. "Anyway, Mom wants us to have dinner tonight as a family one last time before I go to the Nut Hut for the summer. You guys should come over and keep me up so I crash on the flight to NYC."</p><p>"Crash and flight aren't two words you want to use in the same sentence." Leo said factually. This time Frank was the one to him him. "Fucking ow, Zhang. Did you forget you've got muscles on top of your muscles?"</p><p>Frank smiled, "No, in fact I hit you with all the muscles I could."</p><p>"Fucking cunt, man." Leo rubbed his arm but his mischievous smile returned when he turned back to Nico. "Don't forget to call me when operation '<em>turn PJ gay</em>' goes into action." Nico rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Yeah, okay." He said. "You'll be the first one I call." Nico stood up and held his hands out to Rachel. "I can get one of these before I go, right?"</p><p>"You better hope I don't get recognized at that hospital next time I have to go there." Rachel growled, but she stood up and hugged him. "I'm gonna miss your moody, nonexistent ass."</p><p>"Ever the charmer." Nico grinned and she kissed him on the cheek and punched him hard on the arm. Before he could rub it Frank had him scooped up in his own arms, lifting him off of the ground. Nico barely got to return the hug it was so one sided, but Frank gave the best hugs. All arms and body and he was so tall that there was none of the awkward 'which way should I turn my face so it doesn't collide with this guy's' about them.</p><p>"Oh, get a room you two." Leo barged his way into the hug so he ended up being squished between Nico and Frank's arms. Rachel rolled her eyes and put her arms around her three stupid boys. They stayed like that for a good few more seconds until Frank stepped back, there were tears in his eyes.</p><p>"I guess this is bye, guys?" Nico asked.</p><p>"You just make sure you don't fall in love out there and don't come back." Leo shot back.</p><p>"I won't, I promise." Nico smirked. "And Frankie?" Their eyes met. "You know if at any point you need to talk to me that I'm just a call away. I don't give a good goddamn that there is an entire country between us, time zones be damned. You need me, you call. Understand?" Frank nodded and Rachel touched the big man's arm. "I'll use some of my new psychoanalytical bullshit that I'm sure to learn to help each and every one of you fuckers." He grinned.</p><p>"Would you please leave before we get tired of you?" Rachel laughed. Nico looked at the ground, then back up at his three best friends. He waved one more time and then left the cafeteria.</p><p>He had a long day ahead of him.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Percy woke up to the sound of a mover's van backing up. It was his fault for having his window open due to the hot Summer air. It was seven-thirty in the morning on a Saturday. There was absolutely no reason for him to be up just yet. He blinked sleepy aquamarine eyes at his window, but his brain had yet to catch up to what was happening a few homes down from his own. Blinking again he got out of bed bare chested, his novelty Aquaman boxers shorts clinging tightly to his long legs.</p><p>He stuck his head out of the window, hair curly and everywhere from his frantic tossing and turning sleeping style. When his brain finally seemed to wake enough he realized what he was looking at. Movers were moving furniture into the di Angelo's old house. Not only that but from what he could tell they were unpacking stuff as well, at the speed of light. Percy swallowed as he looked around for the new family that was moving in.</p><p>"Careful! That's a very expensive vase!" A tall man wearing an all black suit yelled at one of the workers who had almost dropped said object. He was loud enough that Percy could hear him over the rabble of the movers.</p><p>In what was probably a rash decision he grabbed his clothes from the night, before, forgoing socks and shoes, and was quickly out of the door. Paul waved to him from the living room as Percy jumped down the stairs, he waved back running on autopilot.</p><p>Before his stepfather could inquire as to where he was going he was jumping down the steps of the front porch.</p><p>"You oafs!" The tall man who didn't seem to be affected by the double digit heat was swearing. "Have you never seen designer furniture? If I get fired for your insolence I swear to you I won't be the only one out of a job!" Percy came to stand beside the man. His skin was so pale it could have been made from paper and his hair was so blond it was almost white. His eyes were hidden behind a dark pair of sunglasses. He turned, seemingly sensing Percy's presences, and his eyebrows knit together in a way that was most unkind. "What can I do for you, kid?" He asked, his attention only briefly on Percy. "I swear to God, I have never said this, I have never thought I would need to say this, but: good help is so hard to find!"</p><p>Percy glanced over at the workers, they looked understandably tired. Who moved into a house at seven-thirty in the morning? "I'm Percy," He introduced. "Percy Jackson, I live over there with my mom and my stepdad." He made a vague motion towards his house. "I—uh—I figured I'd come introduce myself to our new neighbor." He extended his hand. The man looked at it for a moment, then switched his clipboard to his left hand and offered his proffered hand.</p><p>"Charon." Charon replied. "And isn't this a <em>charming </em>little place, do all the neighbors introduce themselves?"</p><p>Percy shook his hand, then scratched at the back of his head as color began to explode on his cheeks, "It's—" He gave a nervous chuckle, "actually it's just that that house means a lot to me, some good family friends used to live there. I guess I just wanted to see who the new people were that were taking their place?"</p><p>Charon smirked at that, "Look, kid, I'm going to level with you. I'm not the one moving into this place, my client and his family are for the Summer. See, I'm a publicist. Well, more like a ferryman. I take my clients business and I get it somewhere it can make a lot of money. Books, movies, what have you. I'm a man that knows a lot of people, has a lot of favors to call in." Charon shrugged. "But, that's neither here nor there. You'll meet the new tenants soon enough. Their flight should be getting here in a few hours, later today actually."</p><p>Percy nodded, "This guy paid you to move his stuff in and unpack it for him?"</p><p>"He's a pretty well off man," Charon shrugged, "and an actual friend. We're just putting up the family pictures, the plates in the cupboards, setting up the cable and internet—" He paused. "Someone had better get the damn cableman here within the next twenty minutes, come on gentlemen you're not some second rate company. I was promised the best!" He turned back to Percy, "They'll get to set their rooms up themselves, but my client has asked that this place be livable by the time he and his family get here tonight."</p><p>"Guy sounds like kind of a tightass." Percy smirked. Charon didn't look amused.</p><p>"If you're quite finished? I have a lot of work to do." And as if to cement that fact his phone began ringing. "Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear. There he is now. Go home, kid, I've got to take this." Shrugging Percy turned around and began walking in the other direction, but it was what he heard that made his heart stutter. "If it isn't Hades di Angelo! How the hell are you, boss?" Charon's voice was animated and lively now, not at all disinterested and condescending as it had been. But that's not what had stopped Percy cold.</p><p>Hades? Hades di Angelo? He swung back around, the movers were carrying a large family portrait now in a heavy gold frame. The first thing that caught him were the piercing dark eyes of the unaged Hades himself. Tall and resplendent in black, expressionless and foreboding as always he looked utterly bored with being in the portrait. The next thing that caught Percy's eye was the young woman sitting in front of him, she was breathtaking with her hair as dark as a moonless night, her eyes like onyx in the sun. She was smiling, a real smile that Hades' face seemed incapable of, but she was undeniably his daughter. Bianca. Percy's eyes found Maria standing beside her husband, the only true brunette among three black haired people. Her hair was auburn, still dark but very clearly brown. She too was smiling from ear to ear, looking like the prime example of motherhood, beautiful and nurturing and strong.</p><p>Then there was the young man sitting in front of her. He, like his father, was handsome in all black, and also like his father he was not smiling. His face was slim, angular, sharp, but his eyes were sharper still; midnight and unrelenting. Percy stared at the young man, that familiar mop of curly hair tamed into coifs, the cold, calculating look on his face. It must have been a rather recent picture, Percy thought, because Nico looked so much older.</p><p>His legs were moving backwards and again his brain had not yet begun to register things, as if he were half awake. He found himself at the stairs to his porch before he fell, landing on the verandah with a barely recognized grunt.</p><p>Nico. Nico di Angelo was moving back for the Summer. Percy's eyes unfocused for a moment, his palms were beginning to sweat, and he felt as if he were about to pass out.</p><p>This was going to be a long day.</p><hr/><p>Nico listened to his father talk to his publicist-slash-agent-slash-assistant. He didn't care much for Charon but the man made good on his promises. He's promised Hades box seats to Superbowl games and he got them, he promised fast pass tickets to Disney World and he got them, Nico was kind of hoping he could talk Charon into getting his dad to buy him a car soon.</p><p>But, with all the shit he had recently done he hardly thought a car was in his future.</p><p>He looked over at his mother, she was sleeping soundly thanks to the sleeping pills she had downed about fifteen minutes before they boarded. She hated flying, which he felt was a genetic trait. He was terrified to be in the air, but when he did fly his father always got them extremely pleasant flights on extremely nice airlines. It was still commercial, no jets so there was no getting from one side of the country to the other in four hours, but if he had to be cooped up on a flying metal deathtrap then a flying metal deathtrap that served real full course meals was probably the way to go.</p><p>Nico had asked for some of those sleeping pills his mother had taken, which had been met with such resounding parental scorn that he hadn't actually said anything since they'd taken off. He watched his father talk for a minute and wondered if he could trick the stewardess into bringing him an alcoholic beverage, claim it was for his dad. But, the consequences of being caught would severely out weight what little entertainment possibility getting buzzed twenty thousand feet above sea level offered him.</p><p>'<em>This sucks</em>.' He texted Leo.</p><p>'<em>ur fault</em>.' Leo replied immediately, probably sitting in his room tinkering with something. 'it dos <em>sck though</em>.' Another message read. '<em>brng me a t shrt</em>.'</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes. '<em>No</em>.' He responded. '<em>Those "I HEART New York City shirts are annoying. No one who lives in New York City HEARTS it enough to wear one of those shitty things</em>.'</p><p>'<em>ur panties = n a twst.</em>' Leo thought he was so funny, and he was not providing entertainment in the slightest.</p><p>'<em>Whatever. I'm gonna try to get some sleep on this flight since I asked you guys to keep me up all night.</em>' Nico wrote.</p><p>'<em>Txt me whn u get ther. Send pic of Statue of Liberty.'</em></p><p>Nico rolled his eyes again so hard he swore he could hear it. He silenced his phone, shoved it deep in his pocket and slouched down deep in his seat. At least he was comfortable. Closing his eyes he yawned widely and he knew immediately that it was a good thing he hadn't taken those sleeping pills.</p><hr/><p>He was asleep not a minute later.</p><p>When Nico woke up the <em><strong>FASTEN SEATBELTS</strong></em> light was coming on. He could feel the plane descending and his ear popping. Yawning widely helped the process along and he sunk deeper into his chair while he waited for the plane to land.</p><p>Looking out the window made him feel sick as the ground began to come up faster upon them and the entire plane shook. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The landing gear touched the ground and Nico hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. The plane coasted the runway and after a while came to a stop at the terminal.</p><p>God Nico hated flying.</p><p>Maria awoke as soon as they were given the all clear to stand and start unboarding, and her son couldn't believe she'd slept through all that. Then again, the landing had been rather smooth and he knew it was just his own nerves that had made it seem like such a trial. Still. Reaching overhead he grabbed his backpack, the only luggage his father had allotted him since apparently he had express shipped their things along with brand new furniture to their old home.</p><p>His father was more dramatic than he was sometimes. The fact the he had purchased new furniture had been what had given Maria the headache in the first place, she was obviously not happy with all of the decisions he was making without her. Nico knew he wasn't the only one who would be working out his problems this Summer. Or today at least.</p><p>Regardless of the fact that it was so late in the day it seemed he was apparently still going to meet his therapist today before they made it to the house. Nico just wanted a hot shower and to sleep but Dr. Kirshbaum's was "on the way" or so his father said. He sighed as they exited the terminal hoping this would be his last year enduring these damn therapists and psychiatrists. He knew he was really going to have to try if he wanted his parents to stop bringing him, or at least look like he was trying.</p><p>Maybe he would have a 'breakthrough' he'd done it before.</p><p>Before he could think on it anymore his father was guiding them out of the LaGuardia airport as if he'd been through it a hundred times, which was probably true. Soon they were walking outside, a rental car waiting on them, "This looks like a very expensive trip." Maria mused with barely in-check contempt.</p><p>"It isn't," Hades replied. "I'm writing it off as a business expense, we're hardly spending any money aside from Nico's doctor visit since I am technically here to do work." That seemed to placate his wife, she gave him a smile and kissed his cheek. It was no wonder too, Maria had grown up with nothing, as had Hades, and the thought of thoughtlessly spending money never sat right with her. That's why even though Hades' books were popular and his sales were doing well they lived in a just above meager home, because they didn't need to live lavishly.</p><p>Nico climbed into the backseat, feeling sleepy regardless of the hours of sleep he had just had, and he realized he wasn't anxious at all about being in New York again. The air tasted familiar, the atmosphere almost welcoming. He forgot how ingrained he was into this city he had been and it seemed to bring him back in with open arms. Hades pulled out onto the congested street and Nico felt like he was home.</p><hr/><p>Nico hated being in New York. He had been in Doctor Lupa Kirshbaum's office for about thirty minutes and he was chaffing to leave. Dr. Kirshbaum was a wolfish woman, her face was almost young and very angular, her black hair was offset by large streaks of silver and gray but it only leant to the wolfish nature of her appearance. Her eyes were hard and not compassionate like Nico would have thought most child therapist's eyes would look and the way she stared at him, it felt predatory. She wore no glasses unlike most in her profession, but the lab coat seemed almost mandatory. She wore a black pantsuit underneath it and though it was very stylish it was hardly adorned with any expensive baubles or accessory, save the belt cinching her slim waist. Her shoes were black flats.</p><p>"I'll repeat the question," She said in a voice that brokered no argument, almost as devoid of compassion as her eyes. "Why do you think you're here?"</p><p>Nico had tried being easy, saying the normal things like, 'Because I need to get better, if not for my parents than for myself.' Or even, 'Because I realize that my behavior reflects badly on myself and my family.' But she hadn't taken the bait. His father had promised him that his wasn't supposed to be a session, it was just a meeting, and now Nico was dreading any actual sessions.</p><p>"I'm here," He said, forcing sincerity into his voice, "because my actions have been selfish, and I need to learn that they have repercussions, I'm here to learn how to control my anger and self-loathing."</p><p>"No." Dr. Kirshbaum answered, Nico blinked at her, confused. "We both know that is only a symptom of why you're here, every answer you've given me thus far are merely symptoms. What I'm asking you is the causal root of these symptoms, the problem lying therein. You can waste my time Nico but I'm being paid regardless."</p><p>That tipped Nico's annoyance meter just slightly more than he cared to deal with, "If that's the case," He bit the words off as if they offended him, his voice tight and his anger just barely suppressed. "then why don't' you tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it?"</p><p>"Because, Nico, that's not how this works." The good doctor replied, cutting her eyes at him. "I can tell that you've been to a large number of other therapists, you answer quite well if I was just doing a quick psychological analysis and was not trained to look deeper. But I, sadly, am not like those two-bit psyches you've been to before. Currently I am the number one child therapist in the country, and I plan to continue to be such. So: the first thing we're going to do is work away at this cynical shell you've wound yourself into to see the deeper issue." She held a hand up to silence him before he could speak. "I don't want to change you, Nico. I'm just here to make sure you're aware of the happiness that is afforded to you, whether you take it or not is none of my concern."</p><p>Nico watched as she undid the tight up-do holding her hair together. She shook it out, running a hand through it and it easily fell past her shoulders, a salt-and-pepper mélange of black, silver, and gray. She ran her hands through her thick, straight hair so that it didn't fall into her sharp gaze and sat back in her chair, all appearances saying she was at ease.</p><p>"So, start. Tell me about your deepest rooted issues, you've got about twenty more minutes." Nico opened his mouth, closed it, sighed and then rolled his eyes. He had to remember that it would do him no good to clam up now. He would just end up wasting his Summer, and if he wasn't careful he would just be right back in this damn chair again. It might be a different therapist or psychiatrist, maybe even a psychologist, but the chair was always the same. The chair of scrutiny where he was expected to bare his soul completely. Where they wanted to unmold him and build him back up into something more malleable.</p><p>But if he didn't try he would just have to keep coming back. "Fuck." He cursed, biting the inside of his cheek to distract from the heated anger centered between his eyes. "Fuck." He bit out again. "Fine. Okay? Fine, you want the real me? You want to hear about all the frivolous shit that has compounded into me being this utter fuck-up? Fine. You'll just end up being another shrink who prescribes me mood adjusters anyway, what do I fucking care?" But if Nico expected her to make some sort of outburst or contradiction to placate him she didn't, in fact, all she did was sit, expressionless and without movement. Nico sighed again, tired of telling this story, "It all started when I was about thirteen or fourteen…"</p><hr/><p>Doctor Kirshbaum escorted Nico out of her office when he was done talking, she called his parents in next. Nico sat in the waiting utterly done with his day, his week, year, and life. He let his head fall back and hit the wall.</p><p>He checked his phone, Kirshbaum had instructed him to turn it off and not glance at it once he'd arrived. '<em>u moved n</em>?' Leo had asked about an hour ago. God, the sun was down. It was night time, he had been on a plane all day and then he'd been mentally evaluated for the better part of an hour when he had been told specifically that it would only take fifteen minutes.</p><p>He didn't even have the energy to be mad.</p><p>'<em>Fuck no</em>.' He replied. '<em>I had to meet the fucking psyche first, and then she gave me a fucking session. A real one. I wasn't supposed to have one till tomorrow.</em>'</p><p>Leo's answering text was quick, '<em>scks. sorry Neeks. ur dad again?</em>'</p><p>And Nico would have answered him, his fingers poised above the buttons when he saw something that made him double-take. Even that wasn't enough, he had to blink. He knew the young man sitting behind the receptionist counter. It was eerie, and impossible, and a one-in-six-trillion chance, but it was him.</p><p>Nico glanced to the door of Dr. Kirshbaum's office, it was still closed and made no move of opening anytime soon. He stood casually, walking with a purpose till he got to the front.</p><p>"May I help you?" The young man asked without looking up from the paper work spread out all around him. He was wearing scrubs, which Nico found funny. He cleared his throat and a familiar, yet sober, pair of warm brown eyes found him. For a minute they stared at each other, no one saying a word. "Nico?" The young man spat out after a few more seconds of gaping silence.</p><p>"Why if it isn't Carter I-Don't-Remember-Your-Last-Name club guy." Nico found himself grinning despite the fact that all he wanted to do was sleep. "I should have known you worked in a place like this, you were way too good at giving advice."</p><p>"It's Kane." Carter said, standing up and coming around to the front of the desk. "My last name, it's Kane. And what are you doing here? You live in California. Oh, God. Is Dateline here? All I did was kiss you! Wait, no you kissed me! I didn't know you were sixteen!"</p><p>"My birthday is soon." Nico grinned even wider, "Which means I'll be seventeen," He winked before the stammering man could form words. "And I'm here because my parents insist that I'm crazy and inconsolable, remember?"</p><p>"Oh, my God. I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail, and I'm going to be raped in prison, and Sadie will tell our father and that'll be even worse!" Carter looked as if he was on the verge of hyper-venting. He looked jittery and nervous and genuinely concerned.</p><p>"Calm down, Carter." Nico laughed. "I'm not here to take you to prison. I've done worse than kiss with men older than you." For a moment his mouth twitched into a frown, that bothered him for some reason. But, it didn't make it any less true. He <em>had</em> slept with men older that Carter. Not many, and not much older, but it was true. "I'm here because I start regular sessions with Dr. Kirshbaum tomorrow, and if they're anything like our introductory meeting then I'm gonna go ahead and just kill myself now." But Carter didn't see the humor in that either. Nico rolled his eyes. "Should I be the one trying to console you? I'm the fucking loon here."</p><p>"But that's just the thing, Nico! I don't have a license to practice, and I operated briefly as your therapist, and before that I was going to fuc—" Carter squeezed his eyes shut. "God, never mind."</p><p>"Carter." Nico grabbed the older man by the shoulders. "You were just talking to me as a friend, we didn't bang, you're going to be fine. Geez, are you always so uptight?"</p><p>"If you asked my sister she'd tell you that if you stuck a piece of coal up my ass it'd turn into a diamond." Carter replied offhandedly. Nico actually laughed at that and the afro-haired young man in front of him offered him a smile.</p><p>"Alright," Nico grinned in return. "So I'm here until I get my crazy pills and then I can go home and get sun burnt with my friends. What are you doing here? In a nurse's uniform?"</p><p>Carter looked down at his clothes, "Firstly, scrubs aren't just worn by nurses." He said.</p><p>"They have little creatures on them." Nico looked closer, "Are those Pokémon? Who even sells Pokémon scrubs?"</p><p>"Dr. Kirshbaum let us get them custom made, and I figured since I would be working with children they would be acceptable." Carter replied. "I'm working on my undergrad degree with her, earning my hours so I can graduate and get my licenses. She's the best in the country—"</p><p>"So I've heard."</p><p>"I had to beat a lot of people out for this position. So <em>please </em>don't tell anyone we've been intimate? Please?"</p><p>Nico laughed again, "We were never 'intimate' Carter. I offered to blow you in the backroom of a club, you turned me down. There's not a lot to that story unless I want to be embarrassed by letting people know that a hot guy rejected my sexual advances. I promise, your job is safe, you're not going to jail. Geez, Octavian isn't this jittery and I sleep with—" Nico stopped dead. "Oh, god. I've got to call O to make sure he's okay." But as soon as the words were out of his mouth the door to the doctor's office opened. Nico parents came out, Maria with a smile on her face and Hades with a frown that was less severe than normal. His mother looked over at him, her eyes landed on Carter and it was quite obvious the moment she saw how closely Nico had been standing next to him that she had formed thoughts contrary to what was actually happening.</p><p>She walked over to him and Nico swallowed, though he kept his face as impassive as possible, hoping he looked friendly. "Bit old for you, isn't he?" She asked, still smiling, but her eyes were tight and anxious. She was afraid this was another Octavian. A few hours in NYC and she thought her son had latched onto another older guy. Nico wasn't <em>that </em>bad.</p><p>"Well, usually when I'm cooped up in a nut hut I like to make friends who are closer to my age than, say, Dr. Kirshbaum's." Nico said, the slightest hint of a threat breaking its way into his words. "But I'm sure she's got loads of colleagues—"</p><p>"Carter Kane," Carter's hand moving past his face to grasp a hold of Nico's mother's threw the boy off guard. The two of them shook hands. "While I find your son…precocious…sixteen is actually too young for me." And there was a brilliant reward winning smile that followed after that. His mother seemed to melt at the sight of that smile, and Nico would have been lying if he said it didn't have adverse effects on himself as well.</p><p>"Maria di Angelo, Nico's mother." Maria replied, and if Nico was mistaken there was a small blush on her cheeks. He tossed a glance over to his father, the man's eyes flickered over to them but his face was apathetic. He returned to his conversation with the doctor and that was the end of it. Nico hoped he could be that cool about things one day, have his father's faith that his relationship would last no matter what.</p><p>"Nico was telling me that he wasn't exactly here of his own omissions?" He heard Carter say, which brought him reeling back into their conversation at hand. Thoughts of ratting Carter's ass out to the police for statutory crossed his mind immediately.</p><p>Maria pursed her lips, but she answer quickly after that, "He never has enjoyed coming to the doctor."</p><p>"Mental asylum," Nico interjected, she cut her eyes at him and he quieted.</p><p>"But he knows that it's for the best. His father and I aren't the best with dealing with a lot of his emotional situations, and we don't know how to handle a lot of the things he going through. Talking doesn't help, encouraging doesn't help, and we just want him to succeed." Her eyes switched from Carter to Nico as she finished. "Because we love him."</p><p>"I told you I would try." Nico replied. "<em>And I love you too</em>." He mumbled under his breath.</p><p>"What was that?" Carter asked obnoxiously, cupping his hand to his ear as if he hadn't heard Nico. "I don't think your mother, or myself for that matter, heard you very well."</p><p>"I love her too! She knows that. I say it all the time." Maria smirked, she placed a kiss on his forehead.</p><p>"He does. He's a good son." She said to Carter. "I think I'm going to help my husband finish up the paperwork and his talk with Dr. Lupa, I'm feeling jetlagged. Be good, Nico." Her eyes had a hard glint in them as she looked at her son, then at Carter, and then back at her son.</p><p>"I'm always good," Nico answered. Maria walked away.</p><p>"Your mom is nice." Carter said, Nico looked at him. "She reminds me of mine." The look on his face told Nico that Carter's mother was not alive anymore. He might have placed a soothing hand on Carter's shoulder if he knew him better. All he knew about Carter was that he was a student, he was super smart, he had a sister. Nico looked up through his lashes at Carter, unsure what to say when the other older man said, "Would you like to get coffee sometime?"</p><p>Nico's eyebrow rose slightly, "What? Like a date? I thought I was too young for that?"</p><p>"N-no! Not like a date!" Carter replied, seemingly flustered at once. "I meant, you know, you don't really know anyone around here anymore, and Sadie thinks I need to get out more anyway, which I'm inclined to believe. So coffee, as friends?"</p><p>And there was something fluttering lightly in Nico's heart, it made him smile. "Sure, that sounds great."</p><p>"Then it's a date—or, no—not a date, it's a-a—"</p><p>"A friend date." Nico grinned. "Maybe we can catch a Yankee's game, I have missed the franks in the stadium so much."</p><p>"That sounds fun. Definitely wouldn't've begged you as a ball fan." Carter observed.</p><p>"It's…" Nico faltered. "Just something I used to do with some friends when I lived here." He said, a small smile returning to his lips. "Here, let me see your phone so I can give you my number." He and Carter exchanged phones typing in the appropriate digits and handing them back.</p><p>"Nico." Hades called, Nico looked over his shoulder.</p><p>"I guess that's my cue." He said.</p><p>"I'll see you tomorrow for your appointment, Nico. Take care." Carter replied, his eyes warm and friendly.</p><p>"Yeah," Nico said, realizing that lightness in his chest was positivity. "tomorrow."</p><hr/><p>It was well after ten when the lights to the di Angelo house came on. Percy dropped his Xbox controller, he had been watching for the familiar four door sedan, but it was almost three years later and Hades was making a lot of money, of course they wouldn't be driving the same car.</p><p>He watched as three people climbed out of the car, Hades' tall form unchanged, Maria's was also much the same. What surprised him was how tall Nico was. He wasn't <em>tall </em>but he was taller, he could probably almost look Percy in the mouth now.</p><p>Percy swallowed. He could hear Grover through his headset asking why he had stopped, they were in the middle of a battle, but he pulled it off as he walked to the window. Nico walked slowly into the house and Maria and Hades stood on the front steps very close. Percy watched as Hades' head slowly dipped down and he kissed Maria long and hard. She kissed him back, her arms wrenching around behind his neck.</p><p>Percy looked away, afraid he was invading something extremely private. But his eyes somehow came to land on the window he used to pass notes by a dry eraseboard to. Nico's blinds were open, though the boy was nowhere near the window. He was kneeling over a few boxes going through his things, unpacking. It looked like he found what he was looking for.</p><p>Percy watched more closely, knowing he should close his window, go to sleep and then get up early enough to go over and try to talk to Nico face to face. But he didn't stop watching this time, he hadn't seen Nico in so long that it was surreal to be seeing him now, so close but yet so very far away. His heart felt weird, like it wasn't beating properly, or like someone had punched him hard in the chest. He grabbed at it absently, but moved his hand away when he realized there was nothing wrong with him.</p><p>What happened next caused a palpitation in his heart for an entirely different reason though. Nico stood from his rummaging with clothing in his hand. He tossed the things onto his bed and grabbed at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. His pants quickly following. Percy fumbled so hard to close his blinds that he ended up hitting his head on the floor from falling over. He stood, hoping he hadn't woken his mother or Paul, and quickly closed the blinds for good. Then he went over to his own bed. He sat down and held his head where he'd knocked it on the ground. Laying back in his bed he noticed that his heart was hammering furiously, more so than it did even when he was swimming at his hardest.</p><p>There was another thing he noticed as well: in all the commotion he had somehow tented the front of his pajama bottoms. His clothed erection stared back up at him, unashamed and unabashed.</p><p>Percy groaned loudly, and not from any immediate need to touch himself. God, he thought, he might as well have just watched Hades and Maria.</p><p>There was a brief knock at his door, "Hey champ," Paul's head peeked in. "I heard a noise—" He stopped, noticing what his stepson was obviously trying to hide. "Uh, never mind. Good night, Perce." Belatedly, before the door closed, he added a, "Have fun." Not only was Percy mortified but the comment made his erection dwindle down to nonexistent. Which was for the best, he told himself.</p><p>Percy grabbed his controller and headset, "Gro, I'm going to bed." He said, then not waiting for a reply he turned off his console and television. Then he got up to turn off his light. When it was completely dark in his room he stopped before making it back to bed. He moved over to the window and pulled one of the shades of the blinds down. Nico was sitting on his bed, clothed in pajamas now, texting on his phone. He looked different but at the same time he looked so much the same. Percy felt his heart starting again and he moved away from the blinds. He climbed into bed, curling immediately into a ball.</p><p>Sleep didn't come all at once, with his eye closed he unwittingly began to reminisce. Seeing points of his childhood he hadn't thought about in so long. But, eventually sleep did come and Percy had never been more thankful.</p><p>Tomorrow he was going to have to take Annabeth out, he decided. He needed some female company and there was no better company than his girlfriend.</p><hr/><p>"You were getting pretty chummy with that guy behind the receptionist's desk." Hades said as he drove. "Did you know him?"</p><p>"As a matter of fact I did." Nico replied. "He was on vacation in Cali a few weeks back, small world."</p><p>"Did you two have relations?" Hades wondered and in the rearview mirror Nico could see his eyebrow was raised.</p><p>"No. Ew, Dad. You're so gross." Nico made a face of disgust. "And I'd rather not talk about "having relations" with you any time soon. I'm in therapy as is."</p><p>Hades gave a brief, rare, laugh, "I'm still proud of you Nico. You came here willingly, you didn't kick and scream, you're being very mature."</p><p>"Yeah, well, don't get used to it or nothing." Nico answered back shortly. The rest of the ride was rode in a semi-comfortable silence. Nico was bone tired, but watching as the buildings passed by made him smile a little to himself.</p><p>He wouldn't admit it out loud but he had missed this city. Missed it a lot.</p><p>When they pulled into his old neighborhood he was hit by a swell of unwarranted emotion. But it wasn't until they were pulling into the drive that things start getting to him. He ripped his seatbelt off and grabbed the keys from his dad. "I'm going to bed." He said too quickly, but his parents gave him understanding looks and he didn't know how he felt about that. He wondered if they really did understand him and they just didn't know how to say it. But before he could think about it anymore he was out of the car, pushing into the door, and making damn sure he didn't look to his right at the house he knew would be there.</p><p>Where positivity had been in his chest he was now doing his best to keep his anxiety down. The familiarity of this house didn't help. It wasn't his old home, the furniture was too new, the lighting was too good, the carpets too clean. But the pictures innocuously on the wall, sitting pinned there as if they had never moved made him want to rip them down.</p><p>He took a deep breath, and ignored his surrounding. The house had obviously been repainted recently, both inside and out, but he didn't know when his father had had that done. Or any of this. The furniture, the pictures. He stomped up the stairs with his eyes on the ground, but his feet knew where they were going.</p><p>Barreling into his old room he was thankful that the walls were blank. They were painted a light shade of blue, not something he would have picked himself, but it was calming. Probably the reason his father had picked it.</p><p>He walked over to a box labeled NICO'S CLOTHES and dug into it. He threw a few things around looking for his sleepwear because, really, he just wanted to get this day over and done with.</p><p>Besides, he thought to himself, he had coffee with Carter to look forward to soon. He took another deep breath, not feeling one hundred percent better, but well enough. He had to stay positive. He couldn't spiral. That led to bad things. He found his pajamas and stood, throwing them onto his bed he quickly removed his clothes and changed. Digging around in the jeans he'd worn for what felt like the entire twenty-four hours of that day he pulled out his phone and jumped onto his made bed. Sometimes having a well off father did have it's benefits.</p><p>California's time zone was three hours behind New York's so he knew Leo would still be up, but instead of texting him he sent a message to Frank.</p><p>'<em>Hey Frankie :)</em>' It read.</p><p>'<em>NEEEEEEKS!</em>' Frank replied. '<em>How's life out in the Big Apple</em>?"</p><p>Nico sighed as if Frank could hear him, '<em>It's going. Had my first session today at the therapist's office. She's scary as hell. I can't wait to come home. I miss everybody already.</em>'</p><p>'<em>Leo told me about the session</em>. <em>Bummer. But it's good you started early, means you get to come back home sooner. We miss you too Nico. I wish you were here. I almost had an episode today…</em>' Nico hated to think what Frank would do without him if he did have an episode.</p><p>'<em>I'm good though. I calmed myself down. I just imagined what you would say to me.</em>' Frank texted again.</p><p>'<em>That's good. You know I'm always just a phone call away.</em>' Nico texted. '<em>I've got money, I'll fly my ass back there for you.</em>'</p><p>'<em>Ain't you a sweetie? lol I wouldn't ask you to do that and you know it.</em>' His phone informed him that Frank was typing. '<em>It's late over there, Nico, and you have been going all day. Go to bed.</em>' And that was just like Frank, mothering him even when he wasn't around. Nico smiled at his phone fondly.</p><p>'<em>Alright Frankie. I AM exhausted, actually. I'll call everyone tomorrow. Good night.</em>'</p><p>'<em>Night, Nicky.</em>' Frank replied. Nico got out of bed and flipped his light off. He would worry about charging his phone in the morning.</p><p>But, God. He was going to miss everyone so much. These weeks wouldn't go by fast enough. Climbing into bed Nico didn't realize he was halfway asleep until his dreams took him, and he stayed asleep until well into the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This whole "therapy" thing was not getting any easier. "Mom." Nico droned—whined. "It's eight-thirty in the morning. Please. <em>Please</em>. It's Summer." Maria looked at Nico with sympathy, disregarding the fact that she had woken up, cooked a small breakfast, showered, applied her make-up, made sure her husband was awake and clean and out the door for his meeting, and was now waking up her son.</p><p>"I know, sweetie." She cooed. "We'll try to start scheduling your appointments later. But, for now you've got to get up." Nico groaned again, and these were actually moments Maria lived for. She sat on the bed, moving his hair out of his eyes, it was so long but she wouldn't tell him to cut it if he didn't want to. Well, she wouldn't push it. Besides, she loved his hair. Kissing his forehead she sat up again, "Your breakfast is getting cold."</p><p>Nico stared at his mom for a moment, at the small, calm smile on her face, "Okay, fine. I'll get up." He said. "Just let me get ready." Maria patted her son's leg and chuckled a little as she stood. Her boy had his vanities, which might have been her fault as she had her own.</p><p>"Just don't take all day." She said and made her way out of the room. Walking down the stairs she looked around her old house. Her husband's assistant had done a rather good job at making it feel like a home. She'd only rearranged a few things in the living room, mostly the way the pictures were set up, and the way the trinkets sat on the table, but aside from that she didn't mind being back. She had loved NYC as a girl considering she was originally from Brooklyn and had desperately wanted to get out of that city.</p><p>Her thoughts of an old life were cut short as she looked out of the living room window and saw Sally Jackson kissing a man that was not her husband. Maria paused, not that she was a nosy neighbor but before she left she and Sally had been really good friends. In fact, the only reason they hadn't kept in touch had been their husbands. Which, normally wouldn't matter a thing to her but she felt like it was also best for her son that they cut all ties to this place.</p><p>Well, that was all out the window now.</p><p>Speaking of which, Sally and the man she had been kissing were walking towards her house. She watched them until she heard the doorbell ring. "I've got it, Nico!" She yelled up the stairs.</p><p>"'Kay!" Her son yelled back down, very obviously getting in the shower. Maria walked over to the door and opened it. Sally stared at her for a moment, and she stared back. There was a beat of silence between them before her previous neighbor said, "Oh, my God. Maria!"</p><p>"Sally, hi." Maria smiled.</p><p>"We thought…we were going to welcome the new neighbors in. We would have never thought it would be you!" Sally hugged Maria, and instantly they fell back into the way things had been. There was no awkwardness, just two old friends. "This is Paul," Sally said pulling back. Maria shook Paul's hand.</p><p>"Hi." He said with a handsome, scholarly grin. He was definitely a step up from her husband.</p><p>"Hi, I'm Maria." She replied looking at Sally with a wink.</p><p>It took Sally a minute before she said, "Oh! Oh, God. It's nothing like that." She blushed. "No, Paul and I were married a year and a half ago. Don and I got divorced." Sally looked at Paul lovingly. "I met Paul a little while after that and just fell for him."</p><p>"Why don't you guys come on in, Nico and I were about to head out but he's in the shower and still has to eat." Maria moved for the two to come into the house, and they did.</p><p>"Oh, wow. Look at this place." Sally smiled. "It's beautiful in here, Maria."</p><p>"Thank you, Hades actually picked out the furniture if you can believe it." Maria responded, looking around. Her husband had done a pretty spectacular job for a guy who didn't know any other color but black. "Can I get you guys something to drink?"</p><p>"No thank you," Sally replied. "Here, Paul, give me the…" Paul handed her something Maria hadn't noticed before. It was a pie tin. "I baked a pie, my bakery finally took off not too long ago so it was not a big deal before you say anything, I just thought it would be neighborly."</p><p>"Oh, Sally." Maria took it. "This looks delicious. You'll spoil my boys like you always did. I'll put it up." She walked them through the kitchen and put the pie in the refrigerator. "Are you sure I can't get you anything? I can whip something up for you guys really quickly?"</p><p>"No, no," Sally chuckled, "Paul and I were actually on our way to have a quick breakfast before he went off to his office and I went to mine,"</p><p>"Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't want to hold you guys up." Maria said ushering them back to the foyer.</p><p>"It's alright," Paul replied. "I'm just going in to set up a few things to get my Summer courses ready, I don't exactly have to go in till later today."</p><p>"You're a professor?" Maria asked.</p><p>"A history professor, yes." Paul smiled. "For the past eight years, almost long enough to get my tenure."</p><p>"I'm impressed," Maria grinned.</p><p>"So where is your forever brooding husband?" Sally asked, looking around. "He was never too far from your sight, the lovesick man." Maria laughed, touching Sally's arm fondly.</p><p>"He's at work too, actually. He'll be back when he gets done with his meeting with his publicist."</p><p>"Oh, that's right. Hades di Angelo, the author." Paul nodded. "I've read his books, they're very good."</p><p>"They're for <em>young </em>adults, Paul." Sally replied, rolling her eyes.</p><p>"They aren't, not really." Maria replied leading them into the living room, they all sat. "Hades just writes a story and then they decide how to advertise it, he continues to tell me that his books aren't for children."</p><p>"They are rather dark. His writer's voice is very adult, but anytime there is a sense of adventure in books these days people automatically label it for teens. It's got a deep message hidden in it, that's for sure."</p><p>Maria smiled, "My husband would like you." She heard the shower upstairs shut off. "Where is Percy? I might have thought he'd come over here."</p><p>"He's out with his girlfriend Annabeth," Sally replied.</p><p>"I thought he came over here yesterday, really we were coming to apologize to our neighbors if he had bothered them." Paul added, Sally gave him a look but he just smirked at her.</p><p>Maria didn't know what to make of that, "Well, we didn't get back in till late last night so if anything he probably met Charon, Hades' publicist. He set everything up for us."</p><p>"Hey, Mom, who was at the door—" Nico stopped on the stairs toweling at his still dripping hair, but he was dressed at least.</p><p>"Nico, look at you. You're so handsome now." Sally said standing up. Nico stared at Sally, then at Paul, he looked around and Maria knew instantly that he was looking for Percy. There was a mix of disappointment and relief on his face when he didn't spot the other boy.</p><p>"I—thanks." Nico replied haltingly. "I'll be in the kitchen." Maria watched as her son shut himself off and her face fell a little. They had been making so much progress so quickly. She didn't blame Sally, the woman had no idea what was going on.</p><p>"Where's Bianca? I'll bet she's gorgeous now, she always was." Sally said, bringing Maria back to the conversation at hand.</p><p>"Oh, she's still in California. She'll be going to school out there soon, she's taking a few summer courses herself. She just graduated high school."</p><p>"I wish she was here so I could say congratulations." Sally replied, a look of fondness on her face. Maria had forgotten that Sally had loved her children almost as much as she and Hades did. She had missed this friendship.</p><p>"I think she'll probably visit before the summer is up." Maria smiled, Nico stood in the door way with a toasted bacon-and-egg sandwich in hand. Maria frowned at the fact that he wasn't using a plate but didn't say anything.</p><p>"Mom, what time is my thing?" He asked. Maria almost jumped up.</p><p>"I almost forgot, we should get going. You guys should come over for drinks sometime. Maybe later tonight when Hades is home?"</p><p>"We won't miss it, it'll give us a chance to catch up. I've missed you," Sally stood and hugged Maria. "All of you." She added, looking at Nico, whose face stayed blank. Sally didn't miss that, but if it bothered her she didn't say anything. Maria shook Paul's hand and led them past her son, who didn't say anything as he turned and headed back to the kitchen.</p><p>"Sorry about him, he's…sorry." Maria said showing them out.</p><p>"No, it's okay. I understand." Sally said.</p><p>"It was nice to meet you Paul."</p><p>"You too, Maria. We'll see you later tonight." He smiled a good natured smile and Maria nodded. She closed the door behind them, stalking to the kitchen.</p><p>"That was rude," Maria said as her son was downing a glass of milk.</p><p>"I'm not a morning person, Mom. You know that." Nico shrugged.</p><p>"Sally is one of my oldest friends, she used to be like an aunt to you. You should have at least said hello."</p><p>"I'm just glad Percy isn't here. I told you this would happen." Nico looked distressed. "God, I just don't want to see him. I don't want to be near him."</p><p>"Well he probably wants to see you, you two were best friends. He probably misses you."</p><p>"Like hell." Nico rolled his eyes. Maria narrowed her own. "Heck. Like heck."</p><p>"Either way, when they come over later tonight you're going to apologize for being so rude, understood?"</p><p>"Yes, Mom." Nico replied flatly.</p><p>"Little less attitude. Now, get your butt in the car, young man. We might go shopping after your visit with the doctor, if you're good."</p><p>"What am I six?" Nico asked, but there was a small smile on his face. Shopping with his mom was one of his favorite things. Not that he would ever admit it out loud. She bopped him lightly on the head as he passed and he gave her a small laugh.</p><hr/><p>"It's so unlike you to plan a date, usually it's me making them." Annabeth commented, they were just having coffee and cake at Sally's shop but she really loved the Cupcake Extraordinaire, everything inside was so blue and fun. Plus, with the lights dimmed and a few candles lit the air felt more romantic than Annabeth could remember for a long time. "You sure you didn't screw up big time?"</p><p>Percy laughed, "No, babe." He grinned, running his thumb over her knuckles. "You said we never got to hang anymore, and I really wanted to see you." Annabeth smiled and leaned across the table, Percy met her halfway in what was one of their more spectacular kisses. The good thing about having a mom who owned a bakery was that they could hang out at there before it opened, not to mention it would be Percy's Summer job.</p><p>"You're so sweet." Annabeth was smirking at him and he loved the way her eyes looked so bright and intelligent when she was thinking, like lightning through gray storm clouds. "So when do I get to go to this cabin of yours? I'm free next week, I don't start interning at my Dad's lab until the fifteenth."</p><p>"I think we can arrange something." Percy said, they kissed again.</p><p>The lights kicked on, and Percy looked over his shoulder, "Oh, hi kids. Sorry, didn't know you two were in here," Sally smiled. "I'll be out of here soon, just doing some inventory."</p><p>"It's no problem, Sally," Annabeth smiled, Percy was unsure if he enjoyed his mother and his girlfriend getting on so well. But, it was better than them fighting even if they Sally liked the clichéd and time old tradition of pulling out naked baby photo. More embarrassing were the ones of him and Nico in the tub together, those were Annabeth's favorites. "Oh, Percy sweetie. The di Angelos moved back in to their house, you'll be happy to know. Paul and I are going over there for drinks later tonight, I'm sure you and Nico could catch up if you wanted to." Percy looked at his mom, but she was turned away from him, sorting papers behind the display counter.</p><p>"I—" Percy's voice died in his throat. "Yeah, sure, whatever." But the words seemed far away.</p><p>"Your shop's really looking good, Sally! When is opening day?" Annabeth chimed in, both she and his mother missing his lack of enthusiasm. Percy took a breath and pushed Nico out of his mind. Ignoring the sudden rush of blood heading to his groin after the images of the previous night began to forcibly invade his head.</p><p>"In three weeks!" Sally nearly squealed with joy. "This has been my dream since I was a little girl, you know your great grandmother taught me how to bake, Percy." Sally said, though Percy had heard the story a million times, it seemed enough to occupy his head where his thoughts had begun to traverse dangerous into waters though. "She would wake up—"</p><p>"Early in the morning before dawn to bake bread for lunch, and by noon she'd be baking pies and cakes for the whole neighborhood, she was hardly out of the kitchen she loved cooking so much and she was the best cook in Norfolk, back when grandma and granddad lived in West Virginia. Yeah, Mom, I've heard it." Percy said with a small laugh.</p><p>Sally smiled wistfully, "I loved her so very much, Percy. If she could see all this…" Sally stopped, her voice breaking up suddenly and her eyes beginning to redden. Annabeth was up in a flash, her arms around Sally. "I'm sorry—I'm sorry!" Sally laughed, though it didn't sound like the overly joyful kind. "I'm just…I'm good, yeah, I'm okay." She fanned at her face. "Do you kids want any pie, or maybe a brownie!" On "brownie" she was full on crying. Percy stared, paralyzed; he was not good at dealing with crying people, especially his mom.</p><p>Luckily Annabeth seemed to be on it. "Sally, this place looks so great. Your grandmother would be proud." She cooed.</p><p>"Oh, sweetie, I must look so silly. I'm the adult here," Sally pulled back, wiping at her face. "These are tears of happiness. I've worked so hard to get here, and just that it's paying off is making me a little emotional." With a deep breath she seemed to regain her composure. She looked at the two of them, then at the candles and the half eaten food on the table, realization flooding her mind. "Oh. Oh, God. I've ruined your little date."</p><p>"No." Annabeth smirked. "we were just talking." Percy rolled his eyes.</p><p>"It looks so romantic. Just-just forget I was ever here, kids!" Scooping up her paperwork into her hands she made her way to the door. "Again, I'm sorry. Percy I'll make you a blue pizza when you get home to make up for it."</p><p>"Not really helping Mom…" Percy pointed out. Sally laughed</p><p>"Sorry. Okay, I'll get out of your hair; Paul's waiting in the car anyway." She looked as if she were going to kiss her son on the forehead but seemed to think better of it. She patted his cheek and gave Annabeth's arm a squeeze. "Bye, guys. Sorry again!" Then she was out of the store completely. There was a moment of silence before Percy let out an audible groan, "This is the reason <em>I </em>don't plan the dates." He said, running a hand through his hair. The next thing he knew Annabeth's hands were on top of his own, and though he was still seated she didn't go back over to her own chair. She gave him a deep sort of look that he didn't interpret right away.</p><p>"Percy, honey, it's fine." She said, her fingers scratching at his scalp. The look on her face was becoming more clear to him now. "This is your Mom's shop, of course she's gonna show up." Annabeth reasoned. "Besides, you're a good son, which I find very cute." Percy groaned again this time in appreciation instead of protest. Annabeth's hand ran down his neck, her nails grazing the sensitive skin. "The night isn't ruined, and there's still <em>plenty</em> we can do. Let me show you." She kissed him on the mouth, her hand trailing further down still and rubbing at his chest. She kissed again at his neck, sinking to her knees, sucking and blowing hot air on what was sure to be a hickey the size of a nickel.</p><p>"Have I ever told you you're the best girlfriend in the world?" Percy asked.</p><p>"Have I ever told you I can stand to hear it more?" Annabeth responded. She was unbuttoning his pants now, "Blue underwear, I should've known." She smirked. "Aquaman, so grown up." She laughed, sinking to her knees and pulling at the hem of his boxers she slipped them and his pants down to his knees. Kissing at the juxtaposition where his stomach met his pelvis Annabeth raked her finger up and under his shirt, the muscles contracting and releasing under her touch. Annabeth could play him like a fiddle.</p><p>"Fuck…." Percy's eyes fluttered shut as she took his flaccid prick into her mouth, warm and inviting. "Fuck! Annabeth, my Mom could walk back in any second." Percy ground out between his teeth. There was no answer, the kneeling young woman only increased her suction. "Oh, God." Percy's fingers found their way into blonde hair, so long and straight. Annabeth nipped at the sensitive skin on the underside of his now fully erected cock, her lips kissing where the length and testes met simultaneously. Her hand snaked around and grabbed him by the middle, motioning up and down as she worked at his testicles.</p><p>Percy's toes curled and he tried to keep his breathing as even as was possible, staving off climax to the best of his abilities. His girlfriend was a genius in every sense of the word. They only ever went as far as oral sex for the most part. Percy enjoyed feeling her wrapped around his fingers, the tight heat and that breathy, begging voice of hers always letting him know when she was close. But when Annabeth took control like this it turned him on even more. He popped an eye open, staring down at her. God, those stormy eyes were analyzing everything that was registering in his face. He wanted to say something to her, something lewd that portrayed just how much he was enjoying this. But he couldn't bring himself to form the words.</p><p>She took him in her mouth again and then proceed to slowly swallow him to his base. Percy wouldn't win any contests but he liked to think that he was pretty nicely sized, his penis was thick and relatively long, probably just bigger than average. Watching her was the most erotic thing he could think of at that moment, and he knew his mouth was hanging open like an idiot but he couldn't bring himself to care.</p><p>Annabeth let him go with a wet sounding '<em>POP</em>' that had Percy nearly climaxing, she worked his shaft with her hands now and he would never know if it was an innate thing that she was just good at everything she did or if she had researched this but he found that he also couldn't care about that either. She kissed the head of his cock again, licking just underneath the shell and he wasn't going to be long now.</p><p>"Fuck, Annabeth, I'm gonna—"</p><p>But she cut him off, "Do it." She said, her voice commanding and inarguable. "I want to watch you do it." And how could he disagree with that? His chest was heaving, and it was so hard to breathe without sounding like he had run a race. Small beads of sweat were forming on his forehead as his heart beat so fast he was afraid it would jump from his chest. And he watched her more, her jerking hand motions bringing him so close to fruition, and her calculating gaze watching him back with such lust. He couldn't stand it.</p><p>"Nic—" Percy bit his tongue as a name bubbled to the surface of his throat, nearly ripping him apart. And where his girlfriend had been there was black hair and dark brown eyes and pale skin, a shy smile and a heavy blush. Such a petulant mouth wrapped around his dick, sucking and licking sinfully. Percy stared, his breath arrested now and there was no stopping his climax, no going back. "I'm—!" Annabeth knew what that meant, she pulled off of him, jerking him off to completion. He shot his spunk, seed spilling liquid and hot against Annabeth's knuckles. Percy couldn't seem to catch his breath, his lungs working overtime. His hands were clammy and his eyes were seeing stars.</p><p>Annabeth chuckled, looking devilish still on her knees with her soiled hand wrapped around his softening cock. If she had heard the name that had almost breeched his lips she showed no sign of it. "That was very hot, Perseus." She grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Who says a girl can't enjoy fellatio?" She wondered getting to her feet, she grabbed a handful of napkins from the table and wiped her hands and him clean, then, climbing onto his naked lap, she kissed him hard and deep.</p><p>Percy kissed her back as well as he could, but he suddenly felt very a heavy feeling in his gut; like he was empty. Like a vast wasteland had replaced his insides. The sky of his wasteland was made of guilt and the soil betrayal and he felt so unclean all at once. He knew what he had almost said.</p><p>Annabeth grabbed his hands, moving them to her breasts and he knew she wanted him to fondle and latch on. She wanted him to return the favor. Percy swallowed his guilt, feeling worse that he didn't want to do this anymore. He kissed at her neck, biting the collarbone just enough to make her moan. Her hands fisted at his hair, then she pushed him back and pulled her shirt over her head.</p><p>Percy wondered what his face had looked like, but it didn't seem to betray the horrid feeling he felt inside because Annabeth was kissing him again, hard. He supposed that there must have still been some elation at his climax clinging to his features. Either way his body seemed to be set on autopilot as his mind wound miles away.</p><p>He felt himself unbuttoning her bra, front clasps, and he got it off the first try. Annabeth gave him the courtesy of looking impressed. Her breasts stared at him, small and perfect. He leaned forward, though it didn't feel like it was really him doing it, and he took one of her nipples into his mouth. He could feel her rutting against his lap, her denim jeans and body heat against his flaccidness. Percy suckled gently at her nipple, listening to that breathy voice that just a moment ago he had so wanted to hear.</p><p>Her hand guided his to her pants, no matter what she was always schooling him, and he popped open the buttons of her jeans. A part of his mind wondered why girl's jeans came with so many, but he was more focused on the part of his brain that had transmogrified his girlfriend into Nico. That part scared him more than he cared to admit. Scared him so much that he found he soon was throwing himself into his work, trying to distract his dumb brain from those stupid thoughts.</p><p>Annabeth stood, shimmied out of her pants, climbing back into his lap. With one hand he held her side, gripping her tight, and with the other he brought a finger to her moistened entrance, all the while laving at her nipples again with abandon, nipping and sucking and causing vile words to spill out of her mouth.</p><p>This should have excited him more, he knew, he should have been hard again. He had a relatively good rebound time. But, he could only ignore that more. He rubbed his fingers against her like she had showed him how to do and there were no longer words coming out of her mouth but longstanding moans. The feel of her naked thighs gripping at his equally nude hips should have at least sent a tingle down his waist, the way she craned her neck to kiss at his mouth should have had him insisting that they buy condoms or birth control and take this all the way, but he just kissed her back, his fingers moving back and forth even faster now.</p><p>"<em>Inside</em>!" She growled in his ear and Percy plunged his middle finger into her wetness finding her open and willing. Again she moaned, almost wailed, and gripped his body with strength that was always surprising. Working his digit to the knuckle he brought his pointer in as well and Annabeth rocked against him. Percy was really beginning to sweat now, the task of keeping them from tipping back in the chair while performing wearing at his already burning muscles as Annabeth ground down against his fingers, clenching and rutting and fucking. He met her thrusts and she quivered against him so sensually, it breathed a bit of life back into him, but her warmth and the smell of lust rolling off of her skin was not enough to make a terribly noticeable difference. "I'm so close Percy, don't stop!"</p><p>And how could he disagree with that? His fingers scissored and his mouth worked and he nipped and bit and fingered until she was a babbling mess of uncharacteristic incoherency. When she came against him Percy only felt worse, he <em>knew </em>this was something he was going to have to get control over. He had to talk to Grover again, maybe. He'd felt so much better the last time he had.</p><p>Annabeth rode her climax out for a while after it was over, and when Percy finally pulled his hand from her her eyes looked hungry. She attacked his mouth with her own and their tongues battled for dominance, though Percy knew he was just going through the motions. It was because he was tired, he had to tell himself—though he had gotten plenty of sleep. He had needed this, being with Annabeth, and it was right that he was.</p><p>Yes. This was the way it was supposed to be.</p><p>His girlfriend pulled back from the kiss, "Wow." She grinned at him, again guilt washed over him like a tide pulling him out to sea. "I can't wait to go to your family's cabin next week," She said, holding him close so he held her back just as tightly. He wasn't always so aware when they fooled around, most of the time he kept his mind blank of everything except what they were doing, but the information he'd gotten about Nico had thrown him for a loop. "I think I'm ready to go all the way with you, Percy." She said, which brought him reeling back.</p><p>"Yeah?" He asked huskily, surely if they went all the way it would put things into perspective for him and he would truly understand how madly in love with this girl he was.</p><p>"Yeah." She smiled and kissed him again; she got off of his lap and pulled her pants back up. "We should probably go get cleaned up in the washroom." Percy pulled his underwear and his jeans up and nodded, following her.</p><p>It felt silly when they got into the backroom where a private restroom was, even after they had been so intimate they mostly averted eyes while the other cleaned his or herself. It said something about the human psyche and the need of privacy Annabeth had told him one day and he found it rang true especially today. He couldn't bring himself to look at her too long, his wasteland growing more vast.</p><p>When they were cleaned as best as they could be Annabeth grabbed for his hand and he stepped in close to her, "I don't want to ruin this by saying 'I love you' yet," She said, "because a majority of high school romances end in disaster, but Percy you're so special to me. I hope I don't sound too moony when I say that I hope you understand just how much you mean to me?"</p><p>"No," Percy replied kissing the top of her head, he felt his eyes prickle with tears and fought against them willing them away with a great force of will and a lot of blinking. "You sound so perfect," He said. "You always sound perfect. You mean so much to me too, Annabeth. You always will." It didn't sound like a lie in his ears. Annabeth <em>did </em>mean a great deal to him.</p><p>When they kissed again Percy felt a little better for it, it wasn't a passionate lust filled kiss but a chaste and sweet one. He held her tenderly against his body and tried not to think of the conflict going on inside of himself. The demons he had been fighting for nearly a year and a half were trying to resurface again and he desperately just wanted to be normal in the conventional sense of the word.</p><p>They cleaned the shop after that, Percy mopped the floors and Annabeth cleaned all the tables and chairs and set it up for Sally when she would inevitably come in to do her millionth inventory in the morning. Then they left, hand-in-hand.</p><hr/><p>"So, how do you feel?" Doctor Kirshbaum asked, it felt infuriating, especially since he was beginning to get the feeling that every session of theirs was going to start this way.</p><p>"Just today or, you know, in general?" Nico replied.</p><p>"Both, and try not to answer my questions with questions." Kirshbaum replied smoothly.</p><p>"Hey, hey," Nico said laying on the fainting couch, which he felt overdid the whole experience, "I'm just trying to get some clarity."</p><p>"I understand, but for future reference when I ask a question you should answer it with your first instinct, thinking too much let's you come up with a lie, or you over think and end up subconsciously lying to protect yourself."</p><p>"Yeah, alright. Have you always been this straightforward and cold?" Nico countered.</p><p>"Redirection, Nico, topically amusing and observant but redirection all the same." Kirshbaum replied, tapping her pen against her clipboard. "You have a clear fear of embarrassment, more so than is healthy."</p><p>"I've done plenty of stupid shit publically with my friends, I'm not easily embarrassed."</p><p>"There is a difference, Nico, with being in a group and being on one's own. Personal embarrassment is harder for people than "goofing off" in public with your chums. However, if you don't think that is the case, and you are as uneasily embarrassed as you claim then perhaps you should tell me how you're feeling lately, today and in general, so I don't have to write down an incorrect note—which incidentally could extend your stay with me."</p><p>Nico glared at his therapist and wondered from which ring of Hell she had spawned, "God, you're invasive."</p><p>"And you're defensive, but at least invasion is my job." She countered. "There really is no need to for you to act as if I'm the bad guy. I'm only here to help you."</p><p>Nico sighed, "I know." He said, sitting up a little. The doctor quirked her eyebrow a bit.</p><p>"Do I hear a hint of trust in that voice?" She said, a small smile pulling at her lips. The expression looked foreign but not unattractive on her face.</p><p>"Look," Nico replied. "It's not that I don't trust you, really, I'm a trusting guy when it comes to anyone who's not a dude I'm banging, but I've got a history with people like you. You psycho-linguists and your haughty sensibilities. I hate being psychoanalyzed, I already know there's nothing wrong with me, not physically and not really mentally."</p><p>"Then why do you think you're here?" Kirshbaum asked.</p><p>"Because I'm impossible on my parents?" Nico replied. "Sorry. Question with a question, but still. Dad's not so great at emotions and Mom is overemotional at the best of times, they're a great couple because they balance each other out, and you'd think that I'd be a good mix of the both of them but Bianca got all the good genes in that department. Usually I'm either one or the other, as distant as my father or as emotionally compromised as my mother can get. There's really not much of a happy medium."</p><p>"So what does that mean? That you feel like you can't be normal with this fighting sense of duality going on inside of you, the mix of stoic and emotional?"</p><p>Nico shrugged, "I just know that it makes me moody, and don't you dare tell me I'm bipolar. I will not go back on that stuff they prescribed me for bipolarism. It made me so freaking dull."</p><p>"You know that could have something to do with dosage and not the medicine itself," The doctor pointed out, "And I usually try to rule out medications until I'm sure exactly what the problem is. Now, go on about your home life."</p><p>"What's to tell?" Nico asked. "I want for nothing, Dad's a semi-famous author. I'm just being stupid acting this way."</p><p>"Then why do it?"</p><p>"You know you ask a lot of questions for someone who's supposed to be figuring this shit out for me." Nico glared.</p><p>"Questions asked, my dear boy, often uncover previously unknown answers. In truth, you want to know these things about yourself but you already know it and all you have to do is search your own mind. I'm just here to help direct you down the right path of questioning." Kirshbaum moved a strand of hair out of her eyes, it was held back in that tight bun again.</p><p>"Are you married, Doc?" Nico wondered.</p><p>"Stay on topic, Mr. di Angelo." She replied.</p><p>"So you get to totally ransack my existence for hundreds of dollars an hour, but I'm not allowed to ask you anything? I thought you got paid regardless?"</p><p>"'<em>Patient shows resistance to authority figures</em>,'" Kirshbaum scribbled down.</p><p>"Fucking hell, okay. My home life is alright, Mom cooks and stuff, Dad works, my sister's headed off to a psychology college because everyone thinks her little brother is fucked up, and I'm still in high school."</p><p>"Do you resent your sister?"</p><p>"Not that I'm aware of," Nico answered. "I mean, she gets perfect grades, never gets caught going out, her boyfriends are always super good looking and buff; jealous? Maybe, but I'm nothing if not supportive of the fact that she can do no wrong." Nico smirked.</p><p>"And your father tells me you two have had a small falling out?" The doctor continued. "Why is that?"</p><p>"Why did he say? I can't believe you got him to say anything, he doesn't really believe in any of this. Mom's the one who urges him to make me go." But the doctor didn't seem as if she was going to say anything. Nico sighed, "Ever since we moved he's been on the go a lot, I don't see him a whole bunch. About a month or so back when he tried to get onto me I just sort of…shut down on him. I yelled at him."</p><p>"Why did you yell at him?" Kirshbaum asked.</p><p>"Because he moved us back to the place where I got my heart broken." Nico told her point blank. "I didn't think I could handle it—I still don't think I can. Percy's Mom came over to our house earlier today and I almost lost it, and I loved Sally when I was younger. I know I can't handle seeing Percy." Nico looked at Lupa, her face was blank still and the only sign that she was actually listening was that she was scribbling down cliff notes on her clipboard.</p><p>"Well," The doctor leaned forward in her chair. "I think that'll be all for today, Nico. Thank you for coming in." Nico blinked.</p><p>"What?" He said. "Just like that?"</p><p>"What did you expect?" Lupa asked with a smirk, Nico got the feeling she enjoyed watching him answer her constant questions.</p><p>"I don't know, usually I use the whole hour is all." He shrugged.</p><p>"And I'll bet you spend that hour trying to infuriate whoever is giving you your therapy, going off topic, or just not even saying anything at all. Don't worry, Mr. di Angelo, I'm sure eventually you'll be using the hour in its entirety, but until that point I can tell this seems to be when you'll seal off this semi-talkative stream you've opened up. "Percy" appears to be your shut off valve for all things therapeutic."</p><p>Nico remained quiet, sitting up in his chair and staring at his doctor, who was slowly revealing that she was unlike any of the previous doctors who had tried to invade his inner most thoughts.</p><p>"But," Lupa continued, "I do have a few exercises I want you to try. First: when I told you your father said that there had been a falling out, I meant between you and your sister, but you seem to think that he meant between the two of you. So I want you to discuss, at length, the things you've told me here today, when you're comfortable. We cannot force this." She grinned as she leaned forward, Nico stared at her for a minute not sure if he liked that she had played him so well.</p><p>"Secondly: you say Percy is your neighbor, and obviously he contributes to some of the bigger issues in your life. So I want you to confront him as well. Maybe not all at once, and definitely in a civilized manner," When she saw the look on his face that she expected—heavy disagreement—she held up a hand, "Wean yourself into it, find ways to spend just a little time with him at first, until you feel comfortable telling him how he's affected your life thus far as well."</p><p>"Doctor Kirshbaum that's—"</p><p>"Not up for debate." Lupa finished. "Thank you, Nico. You are dismissed."</p><hr/><p>Nico stepped out of the office and looked around, "Your mom's in the bathroom." Carter said from behind his little desk. He smiled handsomely when Nico came to stand in front of him.</p><p>"Is that woman human?" He asked, leaning on the desk. "I couldn't get her to break stride, not once. She just kept asking me questions."</p><p>"Dr. Kirshbaum is very professional." Carter grinned. "I take it the session went well?"</p><p>"I—" Nico paused, "Damn it if I know, she got me to talk in the first five minutes and kept me going for another twenty. She's a witch." Carter laughed and Nico decided he liked the sound of it, it was a rich, deep laugh that reminded him of velvet. Nico unconsciously leaned forward. That's when something caught his eye. It was a picture on Carter's counter.</p><p>"Is this your family?" He asked picking it up. There was a dark skinned man that Carter looked a lot like, obviously his father. The man had a chiseled jaw and high cheekbones, his hair was still dark, untouched by gray, and cut short to his head. His smile was pure white and dazzling and he rocked a suit like he had been born wearing them. He looked like the model for Good Looking Professors Monthly. If that was a real magazine and Carter's dad was on the cover Nico would have subscribed immediately.</p><p>The woman smiling beside him must have been Carter's late mother, and she was just as gorgeous as his father. Her hair was strawberry blonde and long, waterfalling down her back thickly. Her eyes were as blue as crystal and she too was smiling, the dress she was wearing sparkled in the flashbulb as if it were decorated with stars. "Where were you guys?" Nico asked, looking at a younger version of Carter, he had to be fourteen or fifteen, and a smaller girl who was her mother's doppelganger.</p><p>"Oh, it was some architect's gala," Carter said taking the picture back and setting it on his desk. He glanced at it and Nico saw that his eyes settled on his mother. "My parents are—were pretty famous in their field. Dad doesn't go out for digs much anymore. He's strictly a professor now."</p><p>"And your sister?" Nico wondered.</p><p>"Sadie's still in high school, she's about your age." Carter looked as if he came to some realization. His hand hit his forehead, "My sister is your age." He cursed. "That's just great."</p><p>"We're not going through this again." Nico laughed.</p><p>"You ready to go, sweetie?" Nico looked up and Maria was making her way back into the front lobby. He shrugged.</p><p>"Ready as I'll ever be." He grinned, he turned back to Carter with that smile on his face. "When do you want to go get coffee?"</p><p>"I'll text you when I get off, how about tomorrow?" Carter replied with a small smile of his own.</p><p>"Sounds good. Bye, Carter." Nico let Maria lead him away and looked over his shoulder one last time, damn it but Carter was handsome. And funny. And smart. If Nico had been born a few years earlier they would have totally been able to hit it off, not that it bothered <em>him</em>. It was Carter who was refusing to give him the time of day sexually. Apparently sixteen was too young for a twenty-two year old man to want. Nico scoffed inwardly and inflated his own ego, he'd have been able to keep up with Carter. Hell, he probably would have been able to teach him a thing or two.</p><p>Which reminded him: Nico had called Octavian while he was in the bathroom earlier that day and his mom had been entertaining Sally and her new husband. But, O would not answer his calls after the first time.</p><p>Apparently Octavian had been questioned by the police about statutory rape and the only thing that had kept him from actually being sentenced to a jail was O's powerful father's influence. He blamed Nico and called it a betrayal even if Nico insisted that it hadn't been him who had called the police. The fact that he had left California without being able to say goodbye hadn't won him any brownie points either.</p><p>So much for the one guy who actually <em>liked </em>him.</p><p>"Don't make that face," Maria said, putting an arm around his shoulder. "We're going shopping."</p><p>"I know, Mom." Nico said with a small smile, trying to push it all from his mind. "I'm sorry." He gave her a small smile. "Let's go shopping."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico's arms were loaded down with bags, and he might have been excited except most of them were for his mother. They were in the car heading back to the Summer home, Hades was sure to be back by now. Nico had acquired a few things while he was out, but not nearly enough as his mother. He helped Maria load everything into back, then they both got situated in the passenger and driver's seat. The car turned over and they exited the mall parking lot.</p><p>The car had been going for a while, Nico going over the things he had brought with him to New York in his head. There were certain items he should get if he planned on having any fun up here. "Mom, I might need the car later," He said, trying to sound casual as he flipped through the radio channels.</p><p>Maria laughed, "I don't know if you remember this, son, but you're kind of grounded." She looked over at him. "Why on earth do you need the car? Where are you gonna go?"</p><p>"To the store later," He answered.</p><p>"We just left the store, Nico." Maria looked over at him, then back at the road.</p><p>"I mean, I've got some personal items to get." Nico replied shrugging, finding it more and more difficult to sound casual about the whole thing. He should have just waited for them to go to sleep so he could sneak out.</p><p>"I'm sure you've got plenty of underwear, and if you need razors your father brought extra." His mother answered.</p><p>"No, not like, regular stuff." Nico paused. "Okay, it's regular stuff, but it's <em>guy </em>stuff." Maria stopped at a red light and looked over at him again. She was very obviously waiting on him to continue, a very small smirk on her lips. "It's just…stuff I need, Mom."</p><p>"When you say "personal" do you mean condom?" Her eyebrow quirked up and Nico felt his entire face heat up cherry red.</p><p>"Mom!"</p><p>"Nico!" Maria laughed again, mocking his tone and volume. "Son, I know how sex works. I've got two kids." Nico wouldn't meet her eyes. "You are you father's child, I swear. You love sex but hate talking about it. Or maybe it's just with me, that guy that showed up on our doorstep the other night seemed to know a lot of intimate details about you." Nico was officially going to die.</p><p>"<em>Mom</em>!" He hissed.</p><p>"Oh, unknot your panties, Nico." Maria rolled her eyes as the light turned green and she drove on. "If you need sex things like <em>condoms</em> and <em>lubrication</em>," She couldn't help the emphasis, especially watching her son cringe the way he did. "I'm sure your father wouldn't mind taking you out again later."</p><p>"I have to go out and get that stuff with <em>Dad?</em>" As if hearing his mother say 'lubrication' wasn't punishment enough.</p><p>"Nico, sweetie, if you can't talk about sex stuff with your parents you are obviously not old enough to be having it. Now, you can act like an adult and admit to me that you plan on having intimate relations with someone while we're up here—and I completely forbid you from doing so with that grad student—or you can act like a child and I can keep you locked up tight in the house with only your hand to keep you company."</p><p>"<em>Fuck!</em>" Nico hadn't meant for that to slip out of his mouth. "Mom! What's wrong with you today?"</p><p>"Well, for one you were very rude in front of Sally and Paul earlier today for no reason, and two Lupa tells me that I should treat you more like the adult you're going into. So, no more coddling." Maria smiled. "Okay, maybe a little coddling, but from now on I'm going to talk to you like you're not just a child."</p><p>"Wait, wait," Nico held his hands up. "You're talking to my therapist?"</p><p>"Well, we're paying for her," Maria shrugged. "And she also thinks it's best if we all work together in order to help your progress. So before your sessions she tells me what you two will be working on, and afterwards she debriefs me on how it went. Or your father, depending on who's taking you."</p><p>Nico sighed. "That sounds fair."</p><p>"You're actually agreeing with me on something?" Maria grinned. "We should have started seeing Lupa a long time ago." Nico rolled his eyes. "Besides, it would do you good to spend time with your father. It's one of your exercises isn't it?"</p><p>"She told you about those too? Jesus! What happened to doctor/patient confidentiality?"</p><p>"I think that only constitutes with things you tell her, not the other way around." His mother took a right, "Besides, if she didn't you wouldn't do it, would you?"</p><p>"That's not the point, that stuff is supposed to stay private."</p><p>"Nico, it's just me." Maria said, her hand landed on his knee. She squeezed it. "You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" Ugh, Nico thought. She was giving him The Mom Look. The one that made him feel bad for just existing.</p><p>He sighed, "I know, Mom." He said. "Sometimes I just…I'm secretive, I'm sorry. I just don't want you to be more disappointed with me." They were pulling into the neighborhood, and an old instinct kicked in naturally. Nico looked over at the Jackson household, and mowing the grass, shirtless, was one Percy Jackson; older, leaner, stronger, but definitely Percy. Nico felt himself leering. Percy had grown up well. God, his body was firm—toned, and smooth. Nico watched the way his powerful looking thighs moved as he walked, watched the sway of his ass, the defined muscles moving in his back as he walked and controlled the mower.</p><p>Then Nico remembered who he was looking at, he looked away.</p><p>"Nico," His mother was saying and he stared up at her face. "honey, I could never be disappointed in you. I support your decisions and I support you. I just want you to stop feeling the way you do, however it is…not happy. I want you to stop feeling not happy." She smiled at him and stroked his face. But she noticed his expression. "What's wrong..." She looked up and over his shoulder. Her eyes immediately landed on Percy. She pursed her lips, "You know you have to talk to him eventually." She said looking back down at him.</p><p>"I know, Mom." Nico said again, sighing.</p><p>"He's coming over with Sally and Paul tonight." Maria replied and Nico looked at her again, his eyes like a small animal caught in headlights. "It'll be good for you. Your father and I never push you into things, and I think it's time we started. You need to talk to him to feel better."</p><p>Nico had apparently lost his will to fight since coming back to New York. He pulled his seatbelt off, opened the car door, and made his way into the house. Maria sighed, but she looked over at Percy again. The bane of her son's attitude problems. Her eyebrow quirked up again, if she wasn't mistaken Percy was watching Nico walk into the house. And not in the casual people watching kind of way either. Nor was it the kind of 'I've not seen you in a while' way either. His line of vision was too low for that, he wasn't looking at Nico's head, that was for sure.</p><p>Well, her son <em>was </em>wearing tight pants. How he did it in this heat she would never know, though the heat here was different than the heat she had gotten used to over the past two and a half years. Still, hot was hot. She might have to advise him into wearing shorts more. Then she smiled, she might have to advise him into wearing those short shorts he'd gotten from his friend Rachel as a joke gift.</p><p>There was something bubbling in Maria's head, a theory she had about Sally's son's reason for freaking out as badly as he had a few years back. It was just a theory for now, and she would have to talk to her husband about it at length. But it was plausible, she thought. If nothing else it would give her family some peace of mind.</p><hr/><p>Nico was on the phone almost immediately, he could see this being a daily occurrence. Reporting back to Leo, Rachel, and Frank every chance he could.</p><p>"So Kirshbaum only saw me for, like, thirty minutes today," He was saying, "and she tells me I need to spend more time with my Dad and that I need to confront Percy."</p><p>"Well are you going to?" Leo replied.</p><p>"I mean I kind of have to if I want to come back anytime soon. But, Leo, man you know me I don't—"</p><p>"You don't really do confrontation well, yeah, I know." Leo laughed. "You like to let things build up and then you explode at whoever is making you mad. Hell, it took Octavian punching you to make you get rid of his dumbass, and then you went running back."</p><p>"That's different," Nico said. "Don't be a dick Leo."</p><p>"You wouldn't be my friend if I didn't tell it how it is, and how is that different?"</p><p>"Because O was sick—"</p><p>"He tried to kill himself to get your attention." Leo pointed out.</p><p>"He deserved a second chance. He never hit me before."</p><p>"Said every abuse victim ever. Come on, Nico, your head is all twisted up about that guy. He makes you take drugs, the bad kind that don't get you high but get you addicted." Nico rolled his eyes. "I can hear you rolling your eyes, you know it's true."</p><p>"I'm not addicted."</p><p>"But you sure are hell to deal with for a few days after you've left his place," Leo said. "It's best that you got taken away from him and you know it. You settled for him."</p><p>"Can we not talk about O? That's not what I called to talk about." Nico replied.</p><p>Leo sighed, "Okay, what did you call to talk about? It wasn't to hear about my day, obviously."</p><p>"Why? What happened today?"</p><p>"You first, then I'll go."</p><p>"Alright, but don't try to make me feel guilty, asshole. If you wanna talk you call me, don't get mad if I call you to talk about myself." Leo laughed on the other end.</p><p>"Fine, whatever, go. Unload your never-ending list of problems on me, your best friend."</p><p>"I saw Percy today."</p><p>"Oh, shit. He still lives there? Well I mean it's only been two and a half years."</p><p>"You were the one who said he had probably moved away!" Nico said.</p><p>"I just said that so you would calm your tits, Neeks." Leo sounded so nonchalant, which annoyed Nico to no end. "Anyway, you saw Percy, did you talk to him?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Of course not."</p><p>"He's <em>hot</em>, Leo. Like, fuck me! I could handle if he had grown like a creeper 'stache and developed some sort of Quasimodo hunch, but he got fucking attractive."</p><p>"From the way you were always going on about him—"</p><p>"I don't always go on about him."</p><p>"And flies aren't attracted to shit. Shut up, Nico, you talked about him so much I feel like I know the guy personally. <em>Oh</em>, <em>Percy used to like this band</em>. <em>Oh</em>, <em>Percy would have liked this restaurant</em>. From the way you made it sound he was always attractive. You have it so bad."</p><p>"Had." Nico said. "I had it so bad,"</p><p>"Granted, it did start getting better the more you got to know me, but still." Nico could hear Leo grinning on the other end, the smile was just in his voice. "Still sounds like you'd let him hit it."</p><p>"He's not gay, or bi, or anything. He made that abundantly clear when he called me a faggot." Nico answered back.</p><p>"Nico, Nico, Nico." Leo tutted. "Let's look at this from my uncommonly genius viewpoint. Who calls people faggots? Bullies who are trying to hide the fact that they're gay themselves, The Westboro Church—and the jury is still out on the gayness found therein—whoop. That's it."</p><p>"Wait," Nico sat on his bed. "you're telling me that the only people who ever use the "f" word are men who can't admit they're gay,"</p><p>"Not just men, girls too."</p><p>"Okay, people who can't admit they're gay and crazy church people who might also, themselves, be of the homosexual variety?" Nico would have been giving Leo a look that belayed how ridiculous that sounded if they had actually been in the same room.</p><p>"Boom. You hit the nail on the head, those are exactly the kind of people who say words like fag and use gay like it's some sort of insult. Granted, I'm never attracted to the dudes who do it, but it sounds like you might have struck gold."</p><p>"It sounds like you're about to give me <em>really </em>bad advice." Nico laughed.</p><p>"I'm just saying, Neeks, when is the next time you're going to see him. You know, to work on your "exercises" as your quack likes to call them?"</p><p>"Tonight, actually." Nico sighed, throwing himself on his bed. "Mom invited his mom and his stepdad over, and that means Percy as well. I don't even know if they heard me when I said I would do something crazy if I saw him again."</p><p>"Well you haven't cut have you?" Leo wondered.</p><p>"No, it hasn't gotten that bad yet." Nico answered truthfully, covering his face with the hand not holding the phone to his ear. "But I don't know what will happen when I have to be in the same room as him."</p><p>"Neeks, Nicky, listen to me: you have got to take advantage of this situation, do you hear me? If you're in charge of it then there's no way it can go bad."</p><p>"What are you suggesting?"</p><p>"The same thing I've been trying to get you to do since I heard you were going back. You've got to seduce him. It'll totally work. I've seen you take guys who looked like fucking football players to bed. Well, I never saw you physically fuck them, but it was always implied."</p><p>Nico laughed, "Just because I've fucked a few guys who looked like they belonged on first string doesn't mean they weren't gay."</p><p>"God, Nico, you're preaching to the choir. I know looks don't equate to gay. You know what I mean. I'm not Rachel, I'm not going to discuss this like it's a political fucking issue."</p><p>"Well, it <em>is </em>a political issue, but yeah, I know what you mean. I wouldn't even know how to go about trying to get in his pants. There were a lot of emotions there, I don't want to reopen those wounds more than they already have."</p><p>"Like I said, stay in control of the situation. Pretend like he's just some dude in the club, slap on some tight ass jeans. Oh, put the ones on you borrowed from me and never gave back."</p><p>"You totally knew I wasn't giving those back when I took them."</p><p>"Yeah, that's why I took your American Polo shoes, dick." Leo was the one who chuckled this time, "anyway, put my jeans on, because they make your ass look just—hell I might fuck you in those jeans."</p><p>"Creepy yet somehow sweet, thanks."</p><p>"And wear that black tank top," Leo paused, "if I didn't know you I'd say to make sure you did your hair, but you probably woke up with gel in one hand a comb in the other this morning."</p><p>"My hair looks awesome, yes. Now you're saying this like I'm even going to do it."</p><p>"Oh, I've plant the seed, you're totally going to try to fuck his brains out now."</p><p>Nico grinned, "I'll give it some thought, Rachel would tell me why this was a bad idea."</p><p>"Which is why you're not going to call her," Leo answered. "I know you, Nico. You're like me, just, you know, you can't handle shit as well."</p><p>"Gee, thanks." Nico sat up on his bed. "So what's going on with you? What happened today?"</p><p>Again Nico could hear Leo grinning through the phone, "I met a guy."</p><p>"And he fucked your brains out?" Nico guessed.</p><p>"No, asshole. He's going to be going to school with us after the Summer is over, and he's going to be on the baseball team."</p><p>Nico chuckled, "Is he a pitcher or a catcher?"</p><p>"Okay, if you're going to be like that then you shouldn't call me in the first place. I sit quietly and listen to you about this jackass Percy but you won't even—"</p><p>"Leo! Leo," Nico laughed, "Okay. I'm sorry, please tell me about him."</p><p>"Fucking right. And he's a pitcher, just so you know. But his actual position on the team is second-baseman. Plus I hear he hits the ball and it sounds like a crack of thunder." Leo sounded a bit dreamy.</p><p>"Where'd you meet him, the club?"</p><p>"No, that's the great part. We met at the mall. It was romantic as shit." Nico chuckled again.</p><p>"What's his name?"</p><p>"Jason, if you would ever fucking got a Facebook you could creep on him and tell me how fucking cute he is. But you're lame and refuse to get one."</p><p>"I don't want to get addicted, you and Rachel are always checking your phones."</p><p>"That's neither here nor there, I'm gonna send you a picture of him." Nico's phone alerted him to a message, which he checked. A guy with sun-bleached blond hair, eyes that could make the sky jealous of their blueness, and a smile that made him instantly likeable stared back at him. His skin was olive and his face looked like it was sculpted from marble. "Did you get it?" He could hear Leo. He put the phone back to his ear.</p><p>"If you don't jump on him I will," Nico grinned.</p><p>"Right? Fuck me! I just want to eat him with a spoon or something."</p><p>"Careful, Leels, you're entering dangerously fabulous territory."</p><p>"Fuck you," Leo shot back instantly.</p><p>"I'll leave that to Jason," There was a knock at Nico's door. "Hold on Leo." He looked over. "It's open."</p><p>Surprisingly it was his father at the door, "Your mother says you need to go to the store soon and refuses to take you. Apparently it's "guy stuff" you need?" Nico blinked. "Well? I need to go pick up some stuff since we're having people over tonight, not that Maria asked me if I was up to company."</p><p>"You're never up to company, Dad." Nico replied. "Leo I gotta call you back."</p><p>"Okay, cool, I'll keep you posted on the Jason thing if you do the same on the Percy front." Leo said.</p><p>"Can do, later."</p><p>"Later." Leo hung up and Nico pocketed his phone.</p><p>"I…it's kind of embarrassing. I don't think you'll want to go with me. Maybe I can just borrow the car?"</p><p>Hades looked at him with unamused eyes, "First, you're grounded. Second, you've only got your learner's permit, so that's a no on both fronts."</p><p>"You know, we never went over the specs of that grounding." Nico replied.</p><p>"Okay, anything I tell you you can't do, you can't do it. And you're not to treat it like you normally do where you ignore me and do whatever the hell you want to anyway. That's how grounding works."</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "And just how long am I grounded for?"</p><p>"Until I say otherwise, now put your shoes on."</p><hr/><p>"Mom, I don't know if I can go over there." Percy was staring at his mother, they were supposed to be going over to the di Angelos' in an hour. "I think he's still pissed at me. He wouldn't even look at me earlier."</p><p>"Oh, I've spoken to him, I'm relatively sure he's still upset about the whole thing. But he's <em>Nico </em>Perce, all you have to do is apologize. You never got the chance to before. No matter how much you guys used to fight as soon as you said sorry he always forgave you."</p><p>"This is different. I really hurt him."</p><p>"All you can do is say you're sorry, Percy," Sally responded. "and mean it, of course. You've been missing him ever since he left, tell him that. Tell him how much you hate that you hurt him, and that you wish things were different. Just tell him the truth."</p><p>"The truth?" There was something in Sally's eyes that Percy didn't like.</p><p>"Yes, Percy. Tell him the truth." She stood up from the table, filing away the papers she had been working on. "I think I'm going to get ready, I for one am happy that they're back."</p><p>"I just—"</p><p>"Need to apologize for what you did, yes you do." Sally stared at him. "I don't want to hear anymore about it, Maria invited us over to catch up tonight and we're going, that's final. Am I understood?"</p><p>"Yes ma'am."</p><p>"Good, now go put on a shirt that's clean," She sniffed the air. "And maybe some deodorant." Her face screwed up in disgust. "Did you shower after you came in from mowing the lawn?" Percy didn't answer. "Ugh. Just go take a shower, Percy. But don't take too long, I need to wash my hair and you take forever in there."</p><p>"What can I say, I like the water." Percy finally smiled.</p><p>Sally sighed, "Yes, son. I know, now go."</p><hr/><p>"Nico." Hades was pale, paler than usual. Halfway through their shopping trip Nico had decided to have some fun with his old man. "We have spent a great deal of time in here, your mother will be wanting us back soon." His son was holding up a bulbous polyurethane device that looked garish with its neon pink skin. He read the tag, though he knew he didn't want to. "Do not put that in your basket." Nico had pulled him into a <em>sex shop </em>among all things, and from the devious smile on his face he was enjoying this far too much.</p><p>"Every growing boy needs a butt plug, Dad." Nico laughed.</p><p>"Nico di Angelo…" Hades eyes were black and unamused.</p><p>"Geez, Dad, I'm just having some fun with you." Nico put the plug back with an assortment of others. "I did ask you to wait in the car. This is a very private affair after all."</p><p>"I thought you were just getting contraceptives?"</p><p>"I'm getting a few things, and life would be so much easier if you just went and <em>waited in the car</em>."</p><p>"Son, we're supposed to be bonding." Hades crossed his arms. "I'm part of the reason you are… sad." Nico rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Dad, we're not gonna bond over what type of lube I buy, and I appreciate that you're so gung-ho to follow Kirshbaum's orders, but fuck. Can we go to a ball game like a normal family? I told Mom I could do this by myself."</p><p>"You don't like sports." Hades pointed out. Nico huffed.</p><p>"Neither do you!" He tugged at his hair. "Okay, we'll go to the Met, I like art, you like art. We'll appreciate art together. Maybe over a brandy or something."</p><p>"Bourbon would be better." A small smile tugged at Hades' lips.</p><p>"Seriously?" Nico actually grinned.</p><p>"Just…" Hades sighed. "Just don't tell your mother." He looked around, cringing away from a toy that took several D-Cell batteries. "Can I go?"</p><p>"God, you have no idea how much I want you to leave." Nico laughed. Hades patted him the head and for just a moment they looked completely normal, interacting like they were. Then one had to remember where they were. "I'll—uh, be in the car. Don't take too long, your mother was starting to make dinner, and I saw her opening a bottle of wine."</p><p>"Crap. Okay, go, I'll finish up and go check out." Nico and his mother enjoyed wine immensely, and when she drank enough she let him have a few glasses with her. She hardly monitored the number of glasses she drank most of the time, and it wasn't with anything else but wine that she got like that with. Hades made his way out of the store, looking more than refreshed with his being released. Nico grabbed a few boxes of condoms and a large bottle of lubrication. There was a toy he was looking at specifically and he was quite pleased that his Dad had left.</p><p>He grabbed it, it was nothing like the monstrosity that required the D-Cells, it was a hand-held with different vibrating setting. With O gone for a while and no prospective new men in his life (except for Percy, and let's face facts that wasn't going to really happen) Nico needed something more substantial than masturbation in his life. He looked at the price, winced, and put it in his basket.</p><p>If he lived in this city he might feel more self-conscious, but he didn't and he met the clerk with a smile on his face. "Just this stuff?" She asked, returning his smile, "oh, I like this model." She scanning and bagging. "For your girlfriend?"</p><p>Nico laughed, "Hardly."</p><p>"Ah." She nodded. "Gotcha," She scanned his other items and he paid. "Don't have too much fun." She said with a wink. Nico thanked her and left the store, climbing into the car. Hades eyed his bag, it was a bit big to be just condoms, but he didn't say anything. He had had enough sex talk with his son just that day for the rest of his life. He turned the engine over and drove them home.</p><p>Hades had hoped that he would get to talk birds and bees with his son, instead of birds and birds. Maria was the one who had to have the talk with Bianca because he had no idea about menstruation and tampons and he couldn't deal with his daughter when she was twelve and had broken down into angry tears at him for not his not having washed her favorite sweater. He would have wished to impart his knowledge of women to his son, the ways in which to treat them, how to handle dates. But again Maria had been the one to do the research about men having sex with other men, and had let Nico know everything she could about the process.</p><p>Now he was leaving a sex shop with his son and his son had God knows what in that little black bag. He still loved his boy, immensely, but he was so foreign to him. That's why Hades kept him at a distance, because he just did not understand. Now it was coming back to bite him on the ass. His boy hadn't gotten enough time with him, Hades had always been on the go. Hell, a great deal of this was his fault. If going to buy prophylactics with him was enough he would go anytime Nico needed him.</p><p>"Dad." Hades blinked. "You should come back down to earth. I know Intimate Desires wasn't your type of store but I don't need you to have an aneurysm while you're driving."</p><p>"My apologies," Hades said with a bit of fondness. "Nico, son." He looked over at the boy who was a great mix of himself and Maria. There was too much of himself, he thought, but his wife had smoothed out his rough edges in the boy. Nico's face wasn't as severe as his own, which he was thankful for. His son looked at him and he smiled a bit. Everyone said that Nico had his eyes, but that was only half true. They were the shape of Maria's, and they had the same kindness in them—whenever Nico wasn't glaring daggers at people, which, granted, was most of the time. "If you ever need me to…to take you out again, if you need more of," Hades motioned to the bag. "that stuff, or anything else don't hesitate to ask me. Okay, son?"</p><p>Nico's mouth turned upward, "Okay. Thanks, Dad."</p><p>Hades looked forward at the road, they were almost back. "Are you going to be okay tonight? I mean, with Don's boy there and everything."</p><p>"Mom says I have to confront him eventually." Nico replied with a shrug. "I really was in love with him Dad."</p><p>There was a small beat of silence, of sympathy, before his dad answered, "I know, son." They arrived back at the house with about twenty minutes to spare before the Blofish family was supposed to arrive. "I'm going to check on your mother." Hades said, getting out of the car and locking it after Nico had closed his own door.</p><p>"Why? She's going to get just as hammered as Sally when they get to talking, it's going to be you and Paul in the kitchen while they catch up and you know it." Nico grinned at his father. "Good thing Paul's a big fan of yours."</p><p>Hades sighed, "Hopefully he's not moony-eyed like the children who seem to love my work."</p><p>"I'll never get that, isn't the main character of your book like, thirty?"</p><p>"Close to it, but he's very young at heart and in mind. I suppose I should have accounted for the following that I got." Hades ran a hand through still black hair. "Go put your things away, I'll be making sure your mother doesn't drink too much tonight."</p><p>Nico followed behind his father, "Mom's such a fun drunk though." Nico laughed. "Unlike you, you just get even more quiet than normal and stare at things with that glare." Hades looked at his son, who was doing a very passable imitation of Hades' own glare.</p><p>"You've got too much of me in you, boy." Hades replied, knocking a gentle tap of his fist to his son's head. "I'll plan our trip to the museum later, I am looking forward to it."</p><p>Nico smiled, "Me too, Dad." Then he was up the stairs. Hades grinned after him, New York was already proving to be good for his son. Tonight was going to be a true test of things. Hades shook his head as he heard the shower kick on upstairs. He went into the kitchen, thankful that the wine bottle was still basically full.</p><p>His wife observed him soberly, when she read his expression she rolled her eyes, "You thought I was going to be drunk." She stopped with the glass pressed to her lips midway. Hades walked into the kitchen with a small smile on his face.</p><p>"No, of course not." He replied.</p><p>"You're a terrible liar, sweetheart." Maria laughed coming forward. "I'll have you know that I have excellent control over myself," She tipped the glass back, finishing it in one gulp. "And an even better tolerance."</p><p>"I know, honey." Hades said, kissing her sweetened lips. "I know."</p><hr/><p>Nico patted himself down again, his hair was straightened and he brushed it one last time. It was really very long, but Nico didn't want to cut it. He had it brushed out of his eyes, and he wasn't enjoying the skater look it was giving him, but his parents kept assuring him that it looked fine.</p><p>He was also wearing the outfit Leo had picked out for him, he wouldn't tell the other boy how good it looked, but he might have to return the favor. Leo's idea of a good time was rooting around through a dump to find good spare parts, Nico wasn't a fan but it seemed like the proper recompensation for the solid his friend had done him.</p><p>He still wasn't sure if he wanted to try to <em>seduce </em>Percy. Lupa would probably keep him for the rest of the year if everything went south, and Rachel might actually purchase a ticket to New York just to beat his ass. But at the same time Percy was really hot. Nico hadn't gotten a good look because he had been trying his damndest not to look—which hadn't gone over so well, but from what he had seen Percy was fit in the best kind of way.</p><p>There was a knock at the door and Nico knew they were here. Suddenly his nerves were static, he could feel the butterflies moving around in his stomach. If he was lucky Percy would stay downstairs with their parents. Or better yet, if he was lucky Percy hadn't come at all.</p><p>"Nico!" He heard his mother calling, well, there went his plan of ducking out of dinner. Besides, he was supposed to apologize for his rudeness earlier. Nico sighed, he headed down the stairs again, giving himself a once over in the mirror again before he went.</p><p>Percy was unmistakable. Tall and long with broad chest and shoulders, his light blue shirt said '<em>Divers Do It Best Underwater</em>' the name of his high school written over top of that, and no doubt a list of the entire swim team on the back, accompanied by a pair of cargo shorts and white sneakers. His hair was doing the same skater thing Nico's had decided to do, but it looked as if Percy hadn't tried to style it at all. He appeared, at all glances, relaxed with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slouched. He obviously didn't want to be there, and Nico didn't blame him.</p><p>"Sally, Paul!" Maria came out of the kitchen, undoing the apron around her waist. "Percy," She said with a gentle smile. "Look how you've grown, you're tall." She looked up at him as if to prove the point.</p><p>Percy blushed a little and Nico tried not to think that it was a very cute thing of him to do, "Thanks, Maria." He said and Nico was surprised at how deep his voice had become, but he shouldn't have been.</p><p>"You're so handsome, you always were a cute boy." She grabbed him by the cheek as if they hadn't been gone out of his life for the past two and a half years, as if this wasn't the very boy who had sent her son spiraling down. "Nico's going to be so happy to see you."</p><p>"Hello everyone," Nico decided to announce his presence, every eye in the room turned to the stairs. He hadn't realized in his dark shirt and dark jeans that he looked very much like a shadow against the wall. They all stared at him, he noticed, every last person like he was going to explode at them. Percy's eyes tarried on him too long.</p><p>Sally was the first to break the silence, "Nico, hi." She said gently, calmly, afraid to break him. Nico took a deep breath silently, and he knew what he had to do. He had to fake it, at least that way people wouldn't be looking at him like he had a second head.</p><p>"Hi Sally." He said brightly, pulling her into a hug. She seemed surprised for a moment, that was evident in how stiffly she stood in the hug, but the next second she pulled him into a real hug. A deep hug. Nico knew immediately that his rash decision had been a bad one. He had loved Sally like an aunt and he just wasn't up to being friendly. "Paul, nice to formally meet you." He grinned, shaking Paul's hand.</p><p>Paul shook back, "Nice to meet you too," He said with an open smile. Nico felt his heart hammering in his chest. He turned and was nearly floored by sea green eyes that seemed so deep. Nico stared for a minute too long, the smile on his lips faltered too much, but he caught himself. "Percy, man, it's been a long time." He said cheerily, extending a hand to shake.</p><p>Percy looked at it, then he looked up and Nico knew he was looking at Sally. Some signal he hadn't seen and then they were shaking hands. "I—yeah, it's good to see you. You look…you look good—well, you look well."</p><p>"Thanks." Nico let go of his hand, looking away from that devilishly handsome face. He was saved when his mother announced that dinner was ready. Nico couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling, but it wasn't depression, not yet. He turned around, heading into the kitchen for food, the neighbors following closely behind.</p><hr/><p>Dinner was filled with Sally and Maria talking, pulling people into the conversation at different intervals. Paul made quiet conversation with Hades, who was polite enough to return it, but every now and then the adults conversations would amalgamate.</p><p>Percy and Nico were brought into the mix every now and then. Nico learned that Percy was on the swim team, got straight A's, and had a beautiful, genius girlfriend. But Percy <em>had </em>always been unbelievably perfect. Like, ridiculously-only-found-in-fiction-novels perfect.</p><p>"What about you, Nico, sweetie? Are you on any sports teams in school? Anything extracurricular?" Sally was just being polite, Nico knew. She had no idea what she was asking him though. 'I spend the majority of my day smoking or drinking with my friends, we waste the day playing video games, sometimes we do our homework.' That just didn't sound like appropriate dinner conversation.</p><p>Nico forced a laugh, "Oh, I'm not a straight A student like Percy," he said with an exaggerated smile. "I do well to get a B if I can," And they laughed as if he'd told a funny joke. "As for extracirriculars, my art teacher tells me I should give more thought to joining the club, but I like hanging out with my friends too much." He leaned forward, almost secretively, "and I can't say there are any prospective girls I'm looking to date." He gave Sally a wink that felt over the top, which garnered a much more awkward laugh from the table. Nico rolled his eyes and sat back. "I'm trying to say I'm gay." He grinned, looking around. His eye landing on Percy. "Then again, I don't have a boyfriend either." He looked over at his father, whose face was blank, and next to his mother who looked as if she had choked on the quiche.</p><p>"Really?" Sally asked. "A cutie like you, I'd think you'd be beating them away with a stick." She laughed, and the tension that Nico had tried to set at the table seemed to deflate.</p><p>"His father scares them all off." Maria laughed, patting Hades' shoulder, his expression unchanged.</p><p>"That sounds about right," Sally grinned. "That's a shame, Nico you should try a little harder, there's a boy out there for you." She winked back at him, a genuine wink. Nico had the worst urge to slam his hands on the table and leave. Instead he just sank down further into his seat, the fake smile he had plastered on now fallen. "Maria, this wine is delicious, what's it called?"</p><p>"Il Conte, it's very inexpensive and Hades and I adore it." She smiled. "I can open another bottle if you want?"</p><p>"Well," Sally grabbed at her overly large purse that was at her feet. "I hope you don't mind, but Paul and I brought margaritas!" She pulled up the mix and a rather large bottle of tequila. Maria clapped her hands together and laughed giddily.</p><p>"Sally, you <em>know </em>how much I like margaritas!" Maria nearly squealed.</p><p>"And with that I can say that dinner has just about come to an end," Hades said loudly enough for the whole table to end. His comment was met with laughter, but it had been directed at Nico, it was permission for his son to be excused. Nico stood.</p><p>"I'll grab the plates," He replied, looking at his father who nodded. Surprisingly Percy jumped up as well.</p><p>"I—uh, I'll help, Nico." He said. Nico cast a long look at him, blinked and shrugged. Then he remembered himself and smiled widely.</p><p>"Sure, thanks <em>Perce</em>." He grinned. Maria passed him a black look, but he ignored her as he went around the table collecting plates, Percy grabbing the ones from the other side. "Hey, Ma, how about I wash up too?" He asked in an overly sweet voice.</p><p>"Nico." Hades looked at his father who was giving him a warning look, one that belayed how much of an ass he was being. "That sounds great, thanks son." The words were positive, but that look was bone chilling.</p><p>"No problem Dad." Nico replied. He realized he was being defensive for no reason. He grabbed the bottle of wine and poured his mother another glass. Before he took her plate he leaned in as if to kiss her cheek, "<em>Sorry</em>." He whispered inconspicuously in her ear. She absently touched his arm and smiled at him.</p><p>"You guys are going to have to write a parenting book," Sally observed. "I can't even get Percy to take a shower let alone wash the dishes."</p><p>"I shower, Mom." Percy glared at her, his face had the slight hint of blush to it again. "Nico, I'll dry if you wash."</p><p>"It's like being in an alternate universe," Sally giggled, nudging Paul's side.</p><p>"I'm just trying to soak it all up." Paul replied with a huge smile on his face, Percy shook his head.</p><p>"That sounds good, Percy," Nico said, though the thought of being in the kitchen alone with him didn't sit well with his stomach, which was doing mini-flips. The butterflies were getting angry with him for having eaten so much. "Oh," Nico brought the dishes over to the sink. "And Sally, Paul? I'm sorry if I was rude earlier, I'm really not a morning person."</p><p>Sally knocked back the last of her wine and Paul answered for her, "It's okay, Nico. You don't have to apologize." Nico nodded and turned around to the sink, running hot water over the dishes before he grabbed the soap. The adults seemed to take that as the cue to leave. As soon as they were gone Nico sighed.</p><p>"Finally," He said, wiping his hands on a dry towel. He grabbed the wine bottle and put it up to his lips, "You want some?" He asked, motioning it to Percy.</p><p>"I—" Nico took a heavy swig and then put it in Percy's hand.</p><p>"Drink." Leo's words were echoing in his head, and he knew it was a bad idea. "Unless you're too much of a straight A student." He smirked and added a laugh and watched as Percy tentatively put the bottle up to his lips.</p><p>"It's good." Percy replied.</p><p>"Yes, my parents buy good wine." Nico took the bottle from him and drank again. "Let's finish these dishes then we can sneak a few drinks after everyone's nice and drunk." Percy stared at him, his expression slightly unbelieving. Nico smirked again, "What?"</p><p>"It's just…" Percy looked at him, his eyes analytical and searching. "you're different."</p><p>"Two years is a long time, Perseus." Nico said, shoving his hands into the dishwater. "People grow up."</p><p>"No I—yeah, I get that. But I mean, at dinner you were being polite and really…different, and now I don't know you're…"</p><p>"Different?" Nico asked with a smile. "Is that the word you're searching for?" Percy looked a little lost and Nico smirked again, "Here, dry." He handed him a plate. Percy used the towel that Nico had dried his hands off on. "I guess I am different." He said. "You aren't?"</p><p>Percy's eyes were so blue, Nico looked away, staring at the soapy gray water the dishes were emerged in. "Not really." He said. "I'm still the same as when you left." Nico glanced over his shoulder at Percy as he handed him another dish. "The same as when I made you leave."</p><p>There was a moment there, with Percy holding the dish and Nico not letting go, and Nico felt emotion burrowing to the top of his throat like unwelcome vermin. He forced himself to laugh, "You didn't make me leave, Percy. My Dad got a job offer, I hate that I had to go without saying good-bye." He said, handing Percy the dish and furiously washing another one. "But that's just the way the world works. Things don't work out like you want them." He shrugged handing one dish after another over.</p><p>"Nico, I'm sorry."</p><p>Nico stopped. He didn't look up, "For what, Percy?" Nico replied, finishing up with the dishes.</p><p>"Look, I'm supposed to be apologizing and you're not making it easy. I just wish you'd accept my apology." Percy put the last dish in the drainer, when he looked around Nico was drinking from the bottle again.</p><p>"Fine." Nico said shoving the bottle back into his hand. "You're forgiven. We're going to go back to being besties and it'll be like you never called me a faggot, can we just not talk about it?"</p><p>"But it happened—"</p><p>"Drink." Nico tipped the bottle to Percy's lips, Percy didn't fight him. "There's not a lot left, just finish it off." When Percy brought the bottle down Nico took it from him, shook it and then threw it away. He moved over to the cupboard and pulled down a blender.</p><p>"What are you—"</p><p>"Nico, your mother wants her margaritas frozen." Hades came back into the kitchen, a cigar in his hand, Paul was behind him with a matching cigar in his mouth. <em>Just like old time</em>, Nico thought bitterly. Percy was making his emotions to flux crazily, his mother and Sally were drinking together and his father and Percy's current father figure were hanging around one another.</p><p>"Yeah, I figured, we were about to that point." Nico laughed. "I'm gonna guess she and Sally are almost three sheets to the wind?"</p><p>"They're working on it." Paul answered.</p><p>"I'll make the margaritas." Nico smirked. "Percy, go get the stuff for me please?"</p><p>"We'll be out back, smoking." Hades replied nonchalantly. Percy looked at Paul who held a finger up to his lips.</p><p>"Don't tell your mother I was smoking and you can have a margarita." Paul smiled. Percy rolled his eyes and walked off to the living room where lively giggling could be heard. Nico was grabbing the ice from the freezer when his father's voice ghosted over him.</p><p>"Try not to drink too much tonight, Nico." Nico didn't look over his shoulder.</p><p>"I'd say the same to you, Dad." He heard the men leave out the backdoor and Nico put the ice in the blender. Percy came back in the room.</p><p>"This bottle was full when we got here." He held up a bottle of tequila that was almost half empty. "Mom never drank this much after you guys left."</p><p>"Well Sally was my Mom's favorite drinking buddy." Nico shrugged taking the bottle from him, and the margarita mix. "Do you like yours strong or not?"</p><p>"I don't really drink." Percy said watching Nico pour expertly. "Do your parents let you just do what you want?" Nico closed the blender and turned it on.</p><p>"Definitely not," Nico said with a grin. "but they know I'm going to drink regardless since I'm not on my meds anymore and they prefer I do it at home, Dad hates when I go out and drink." He turned around and turned the blender off, pouring a liberal amount in two cups. "Go take these to our moms."</p><p>"I'm not your errand boy." Percy said taking the glasses.</p><p>"Oh, you're gonna do whatever I say and like it, Mr. Jackson. Consider it payback." Nico watched as another blush crept up Percy's face. The taller guy turned and walked away and Nico found himself checking Percy out again. He shook his head, grabbed more ice and began making another batch, pouring himself a glass this time and Percy one as well.</p><p>These drinks were considerably stronger than the ones he had sent to his mother and Sally. Percy came back. "Here," Nico handed Percy another drink. "My room, let's go." Without another word Percy followed behind. They walked past the living room, Sally and Maria were laughing with their heads together like school girls. "There's more margarita in the kitchen, Mom." Nico said nonchalantly, Maria and Sally didn't even glance up at them. He and Percy took the stairs and were soon sitting in Nico's room.</p><p>"It looks—"</p><p>"Let me guess, different?" Nico glanced over his shoulder. Percy laughed.</p><p>"Yeah." He said, Nico sat on the bed and Percy sat on the floor. There was a lot of silence between them and Nico sipped at his drink. He watched Percy, memorizing the details in his face. The face that was so different yet so familiar. The jaw more defined, the brows thicker, the eyes more intense.</p><p>"You don't like your drink?" Nico asked, taking another sip of his own.</p><p>"I don't really…" Percy looked at the alcoholic beverage in his hand, he took a sip and made a face. "Ugh."</p><p>"Yeah, they're never good on your first sip. I should have given you a sugar rim, you would've liked it then." Percy didn't know what a sugar rim was but he wasn't going to say that. He didn't want to look completely inept in front of Nico who was almost two years younger than him and yet in the few words they had exchanged he seemed so much more experienced.</p><p>"You drink a lot?" Percy wondered.</p><p>"Every chance I get." Nico said with a grin grimly. He watched as Percy tentatively sipped his drink again. "To tell you the truth I haven't felt right since I left." He shrugged, batting his eyelashes. "I guess when I heard everything was going so good for you I kinda got a little upset."</p><p>"I shouldn't have," Percy paused. "I said some things to you that I shouldn't have."</p><p>Nico shrugged again, "You were young, stupid, it happens. I'm not upset about it," He lied.</p><p>"You still bite your lip when you're upset," Percy said with a grin.</p><p>"What?" Nico asked.</p><p>"You bite your lip when you're upset, and you play with your hair when you're lying."</p><p>"I don't—" But Nico realized he was moving a strand of hair behind his ear. "I'm surprised you remember so much about me."</p><p>"Nico you're—you were my best friend." Percy tipped back his drink, Nico watched as it disappeared. "I mean I couldn't believe it when I heard you were coming back. I still didn't believe it until last night." Percy blushed. "I saw you from the window." Nico looked at him, Percy's cheeks were flushed and his eyes were glazed.</p><p>He did say he didn't drink often.</p><p>"We used to pass messages like that," Nico smirked.</p><p>"Yeah—I didn't mean to see you." Percy said. "You were changing."</p><p>Nico laughed at that, "Oh, yeah? You enjoy the show?"</p><p>He didn't expect Percy to say, "It wasn't bad." With a grin. They stared at each other, Nico closed his eyes.</p><p>"Are you drunk, Perseus?" He didn't know how this meeting was supposed to go but this definitely was not it. It wasn't a tear filled reunion, and for some reason he wasn't screaming his head off at Percy for everything he had, up till this point, felt like the other boy had put him through.</p><p>"I don't know," Percy said, slurring slightly. "I've never been drunk before."</p><p>Nico sighed, "Fucking goody two-shoes." Percy finished the margarita, Nico looked at his own and downed it. He couldn't try to seduce Percy like this. No matter how mad he was there was no way he could take advantage of someone else like that. He thought he might get Percy to drink enough that his tongue was loosened, or, Nico had actually been hoping they would reach the point of inebriation together. But that did not seem to be the case. "Wait here, I'll get you some water."</p><p>Nico got up and grabbed the glass out of Percy's hand, suddenly thoroughly disappointed and unsure why.</p><p>Surely sleeping with Percy would undo years of tried therapy?</p><p>Nico didn't know and he didn't know if he wanted to know. He made his way down the stairs again, realizing that he was buzzed. Tequila really was his enemy, he thought to himself as he entered the kitchen. Paul and his father were still smoking out back, but the margaritas were almost gone and he had a sneaking suspicion that the unusually quiet women in the living room had done something to ensure just that. He put on a pot of coffee and poured Percy a cup of water, then he drained the last of the margaritas for himself and headed back up the stairs.</p><p>What he saw when he opened his door was both terrifying and hilariously embarrassing, "For fuck's sake put that down." Percy was holding up the sexual aid Nico had bought earlier.</p><p>"I can't believe you have one of these," Percy said, bleary eyed. "I've only seen them, in, like, porn." Nico set the cups down on his desk and stalked across the room. In the sex store he had been completely fine, but now his face was red and burning. "Does it work?" Percy wondered, and he flipped the switch on the bottom. Immediately the stimulator came to life, humming with enough power to make Nico's face grow redder. "It's fucking powerful, that's probably gonna hurt a lot."</p><p>Nico seized it out of Percy's hand, turned it off and shoved it in his bedside dresser again. "Get out." He growled, all of his till now muted anger crashing against his chest like a tidal wave. "Get out of my room!" He roared.</p><p>"Nico, man, I thought we were making progress." Percy replied, his eyebrows drawn together in drunken confusion.</p><p>"You thought wrong. There's coffee downstairs, go drink it. Don't come back up here, leave me alone." He pushed Percy out of the door, his face still lit up like a Christmas tree and hot. When Percy was past the threshold to his room he closed the door.</p><p>"I'll talk to you later then?" Percy asked. "I'll see you from our windows at least, I'll write you messages like I used to." And Nico didn't know why but he was fighting tears. "I'm sorry Nico." Percy said again. "I'm so sorry for hurting you." Then he heard footsteps going down the stairs and Nico crawled onto his bed. His cheeks were wet and he felt a great sob just as it bubbled out of his throat.</p><hr/><p>An hour or so later, when Paul and Hades had gotten everyone sober (Percy first thanks to two cups of strong coffee and one cup of ice water) or as sober as they were going to get Paul shook Hades' hand.</p><p>"It was nice to meet you, Hades." Paul said with a smile. "It was interesting to hear about the diverse dynamics of your next book, I hope I get to read it on shelves soon."</p><p>"You and me both," Hades replied, Maria groaned from the couch. "We'll invite you guys over again soon, I think. This was a nice time for all of us."</p><p>"Actually, we're going to be grilling out in a few days to celebrate Sally's," At the sound of her name Sally tried to stand, Paul adjusted and made sure his wife didn't fall over as she was leaning heavily on him and Percy. "to celebrate her shop's opening."</p><p>"We'll be there." Hades said. "Perseus." He nodded. Percy nodded back, though he did chance a glance towards the stairs that Hades didn't miss. "I'll let Nico know you've gone." Hades told him.</p><p>"I kind of screwed up a little, will you tell him I'm sorry for being a jerk?" Percy asked.</p><p>"I'll leave you to do that yourself," Hades said. "Good night, gentlemen." And then the door was closed. Paul and Percy hauled Sally across the yard and into their own house. Hades made his way into the living room, picked up his own wife and lugged her up the stairs without a word. It was so rare that she got to have so much fun these days. He smiled at her a little, drool falling out of her mouth and her hair like a bird's nest and he thought he had never seen her more beautiful.</p><p>After he pulled her clothes off and stuck her in bed on her stomach, head turned off the bed just in case, he made his way over to his son's room. He knocked, "Son?"</p><p>"I don't feel like talking about it." Nico said from the other side of the door.</p><p>"Don's boy says he's sorry. What on earth did he do?" To Hades surprise Nico opened the door. Hades noted his appearance, he had been crying. "Would you like me to go have a few words with him?" Hades asked, his voice dripping with venom.</p><p>Nico blinked at his father, the man was doing the dark, looming, scary thing he was wont to do. "No, that's okay Dad." Nico said. "I…it's my fault, I made Percy a few drinks, he got kinda drunk. I should have known I wasn't so ready to talk to him that openly just yet."</p><p>"But you talked to him, Nico. You made some serious progress today." Hades put his hand on Nico's shoulder.</p><p>"I guess he just embarrassed me." Nico said, wiping at his face. "He found…something in my room, and he told me he watched me change yesterday." Nico's father gave him a quizzical look, but something clicked in Nico's mind. "He watched me change." Nico looked at his window, the blinds were pulled open and he could see Percy's window clearly.</p><p>"I think I <em>will</em> have a talk with him." Nico turned back to his father who was using his serious voice. "That level of perversion-"</p><p>"No! Dad, don't." Nico moved over to his bed. "That is the last thing you need to do. I'll handle Percy." He turned looked on his bed, grabbing at his phone. "Dad I have to call Leo, thanks for the chat."</p><p>"I…" Hades blinked. "Okay, son, if—if you're sure."</p><p>"I am, thanks Dad! This is great." Nico closed the door again and Hades stared at it. He would <em>never </em>understand his teenage son. It was like dealing with Bianca all over again. Sighing loudly he decided that since everyone else got to drink it was about time he made himself an Old Fashioned and cracked open a good book.</p><p>Hell, at the very least he deserved a stiff one. Sighing again he made his way to the kitchen.</p><hr/><p>"Leo! He was watching me change from his window."</p><p>"Oh, hi Nico. Yeah, I'm doing okay. How're you? No, you just interrupted dinner with my Mom, please go on about yourself." Leo's voice was as dry as a drought, Nico could feel the sarcasm like a slap to the face.</p><p>"Ugh! Okay, I'm sorry. I'm getting a little stir crazy over here without you guys around to calm me down, but still, Percy told me he was watching me change from my window. He said it wasn't a bad sight."</p><p>"Congratulations, the guy that broke your heart is officially a creep. Can I go back to dinner?"</p><p>"No," Nico said. "Leo, listen. You might have been right—"</p><p>"Shocker."</p><p>"Ass, I might be able to work Percy over after all."</p><p>"Nico, man, that's great, but this is really an inopportune moment, okay? Next time I'll call you, but Mom and I were talking about Dad, it's…almost time for the anniversary of his death, okay? You hung up earlier before I could tell you. So I'll talk to you later?"</p><p>"I—Jesus. Leo I'm so fucking sorry. I've been really selfish these past few days. Fuck! Okay, I'm sorry man. I—tell Esperanza I said that I'm sorry for interrupting."</p><p>"Yeah, it's cool, man. I'll call you tomorrow." There was a sinking feeling in Nico's stomach, he nearly cursed as Leo hung up. Well, there went his good mood. He glanced out of his window, and if his eyes weren't playing tricks on him he could have sworn he saw one of the blinds flick closed.</p><p>He looked away from the window, but made sure to stand in front of it as he began to pull his clothes off. He spent more time than was probably necessary half naked, holding up clothes to his chest as if he were thinking of trying them on. His eyes glancing every now and then at the window across from his, and now he was sure he was being watched.</p><p>He was going to have fun with this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, after an another incredibly short session ("I can tell you're hiding something from me Nico, if you don't want to tell me what that is we can cut this short for today," Lupa had said, dismissing him, Nico was getting tired of being turned aside so quickly, Kirshbaum wasn't even trying to get the information out of him.) He smiled at Carter as he left the office, even if he didn't feel like smiling.</p><p>"Good talk?" Carter asked, and Nico wondered if this was going to be their routine.</p><p>"Not particularly. She's wasting my time, I could be on the beach right now." Nico said with a tried and stretched smile. "I could be with my friends."</p><p>Carter leaned forward, "Dr. Kirshbaum is the best of the best, Nico, and when she dismisses people early it means they're not taking her seriously."</p><p>"You're saying I'm wasting my own time?" Nico asked, eyebrow quirked.</p><p>"I'm just saying is all." Carter replied with a rather large grin. Nico laughed and leaned closer, "So are we on for coffee today?" Carter asked, noting the closeness but being unable to pull away.</p><p>"That depends," Nico's lips curled around his words, his voice purring, "what time do you get off?"</p><p>Carter laughed uneasily, "Was that an innuendo?"</p><p>"Do you want it to be?" Between the two of them neither blinked for a moment, then Carter looked away, his ear red. Nico realized it was a blush and laughed, He went in closer, grabbing the back of Carter's neck, forcing the seated man to look him in the eye. "You're blushing."</p><p>"I—I—"</p><p>"Nico, would you leave that poor grad student alone?" Dr. Kirshbaum was standing at her door looking stern and immovable. "He may be brilliant but he's absolutely useless when it comes to matters of lust, love, and all eros."</p><p>"I'm only having a little fun, Doc." Nico grinned over his shoulder. "And Carter is supposed to take me out today. Right, Carter?" The young man behind the desk was stammering again. Lupa walked forward, her flats clacking against the tile floor with every step.</p><p>"Carter," She looked at the young man in her employ, "while I am in no way, shape, form or fashion able to pass or fail you depending upon whom it is that you date or see or whatever it is you young men call it these days there are a few things I would like you to know. One: Nico di Angelo is sixteen years of age. Two: he is a patient of mine and it would be utterly unethical for you to ever date a patient, and three, and this is probably the most crucial of them all: he will most likely eat you alive if you indulge him."</p><p>"Ma'am?" Carter's eyes widened. Nico smirked.</p><p>"Carter, you're a very studious soul, and I take things easy on you where normally I'm much harsher on graduates, but Nico exhibits semi-narcissistic tendencies that I doubt you could handle."</p><p>"I'm pretty sure Carter could keep up, if that's what you mean." Nico said, Lupa's eyes bore into him.</p><p>"You would use him, I think," She said. "It wouldn't start out that way, but you associate sex with comfort, whereas, and I apologize Carter for this unwarranted analysis, Carter takes intimacy to heart."</p><p>"I don't plan on being intimate with him!" Carter exclaimed.</p><p>"See?" Nico's smirk became consequentially larger.</p><p>"Body language, Carter." Lupa said, straightening her lab coat. "I'm simply reading the body language of this situation. I think young Nico is looking for more than a friend here. See the way he's hunkered over you in a position of power, the constant touching, it's all very academic."</p><p>"Doctor, Carter is an adult and I know good and well what I'm doing. Now, if you wanted to take some of that informative analytical prowess and use it when you're supposed to be providing therapeutic services to me I would be much obliged." Lupa met his eyes, her own dark and almost feral; like they could strip his flesh away with just a glance.</p><p>"Then I take it you'll come back into my office and discuss what you and Percy spoke on last night?" Her eyebrow rose just a smidge, challenging him. "Or we can ignore that you didn't tell me about that when I specifically told you to work things out with him at a slow, easy, and I thought it went without saying but: sober pace."</p><p>Nico frowned, "Who told you that?" He asked, but he had an idea.</p><p>"You've been informed that your parents and I discuss you and the things happening in your life since I know, more often than not, you'll become defensive if I broach a subject you don't care to discourse on." She replied.</p><p>Nico sighed, "Carter, text me when you can leave. We'll grab lunch instead of coffee." He shouldered past her. "Excuse me, Doc, my Dad's waiting in the car."</p><p>"That's exactly what I meant." Lupa called after him. "Oh, and Nico." Nico stopped, but he didn't turn around. "In the morning when I see you again we'll be discussing Percy, in detail. Whatever you feel like telling me about him, and sooner rather than later you'll realize that I'm only here to help you and you'll stop acting like I am some prison sentence you've been assigned for the Summer."</p><p>"Aren't you though?" Nico asked over his shoulder, then he left.</p><p>"He's sixteen," Lupa reminded Carter, she watched the man behind the counter watching Nico walk away.</p><p>"He sure doesn't act like it." Carter replied with a sigh, trying and failing to tear his eyes away from the backside of the slowly retreating teenager. "Dr. Kirhbaum, I'm feeling very unethical."</p><p>"Well," Lupa said, patting the bun at the top of her head, making sure not a hair was out of place. "Off the record you're not a doctor yet, just keep that in mind. But, on the record, anything you do will not reflect badly on me."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am." Carter answered, then he groaned. "What have I gotten myself into?" And the good doctor smiled, patting him on the shoulder.</p><p>"Chin up, Kane." They watched as Nico finally exited the lobby. "From what I can tell the moment you spoke to him you never had a chance, he's got a silver tongue in his mouth if he learned how to keep a level head and use it properly. Give it enough time and that boy could charm the dead back to life."</p><hr/><p>Grover came to stay the night with Percy, in his arms were bags overloaded with sweets that Percy knew he would have to spend a few hours in the gym working off. They were watching the end of Casino Royale.</p><p>"You'd so bone Daniel Craig," Grover was saying as the credits rolled. Percy didn't answer him and the lanky teen looked up at his best friend. "Percy, earth to Percy." Grover went as far as snapping his fingers in front of the other young man's face, but Percy smacked his hand away.</p><p>"Grover I got drunk last night." Percy said, his eyes landing on Grover's face.</p><p>"Congratulations?" Grover asked with an unsure laugh. "Is that a problem?"</p><p>"I was in Nico's room." It took a moment but Grover recalled who Nico was, his eyes flickered over to the now occupied house. Percy had said something about his old friend moving back in.</p><p>"Still not really seeing the problem here, man" Grover replied.</p><p>"I just—he looks so different now, Gro." Percy said.</p><p>"Bad different? What is he, like, crack skinny now? Bad teeth? Ew, bad breath?"</p><p>"No, none of that. Well, he was always a skinny kid," Percy replied, shrugging. "But no, it's bad because he looks <em>good </em>now. Like, I don't know how to say this."</p><p>"Well, we've been staring at Craig's ass for an hour and a half and you haven't made one lewd comment about it, I'd say your problem is you lack the proper vocabulary to describe things." Percy shot him an evil glare, which Grover laughed at. "I'm sorry, man. It's just funny cause I've never seen you get flustered over a girl before. I always thought you were the James Bond type, you know, handsome, almost suave. Seeing that I'm wrong is just entertaining is all."</p><p>"Glad to be the source of your entertainment."</p><p>"I'm just fucking with you, Perce." Grover elbowed him. "So what, how does he look now?"</p><p>Percy waited, searching to see if Grover was going to shoot him with anymore barbs before he continued, "He's just…he's filled out, man. Like, he's a lot taller than I thought he was going to be, and he's skinny but you know when girls are slim but they're a little curvy still? It's like that, but just without the boobs, I guess? I don't know how to describe it. And you should have seen his ass. It gives Craig's a run for its money."</p><p>"Sounds like you've crossed over into full dick liking territory, Percy." Grover grinned, Percy put his head in his hands. "How'd you get to see so much of him? You guys get pretty close last night?"</p><p>"Not even, I was a total ass last night and he just sort of handled me."</p><p>"I like the sound of that," Grover grinned, Percy rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Not like that. He didn't even make a move on me. God, he's pissed at me."</p><p>"Were you going over there for him to make a move on you?" Grover wondered.</p><p>"No!" Percy exclaimed. "No, but, you know, the last time I saw him he was telling me he loved me, and then yesterday he just looked at me with these eyes. They, like, burned me, you know? It wasn't hate but it was definitely not love. He's not the same Nico anymore."</p><p>"Apparently he's the sexy new Nico 2.0," Grover smirked. "You never answered the question."</p><p>Percy paused, "It's gonna sound bad." He said.</p><p>"It can't be that bad."</p><p>"I saw him changing from the window," Grover laughed. "It's not funny, I feel horrible. And I told him about it last night and he didn't even freak out—and oh shit! I told him last night!" Realization dawned on Percy just how severe that sentence was. Grover laughed harder. "Fucking hell, and he didn't even bat an eyelash, which would explain why—"</p><p>Grover knew that look, Percy's had done something he wasn't supposed to, "Explain why what?"</p><p>"I—uh, just happened to be looking out the window again last night when I got home and he sort of…did a strip show?"</p><p>"Fucking awesome." Grover's eyes lit up, "like completely naked or—"</p><p>"Grover I don't think you understand, I cheated on Annabeth last night." Percy tugged at his hair.</p><p>"Wait." Grover held up a hand. "I thought you guys didn't do anything?"</p><p>"We didn't."</p><p>"So you just looked?" Grover asked.</p><p>"Yeah, but it's the principle of it."</p><p>"You look at porn don't you, Perce? Got all kinds of naked people doing more than stripping."</p><p>"It's different than that, Grover! Nico lives across the street. Like, it's something that could actually happen, if he doesn't hate me completely." Grover put his arm over Percy's shoulder.</p><p>"Well, you said he wasn't making a move on you, but then he gave you a strip tease knowing you were creeping in his window, I'm pretty sure he was trying to give you the green light."</p><p>"But Annabeth—"</p><p>"Yeah, I mean, you have to make up your mind on that before you do anything. But, you said Annabeth wants to go all the way too, so…threesome?"</p><p>"Grover."</p><p>Grover rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine. You need to figure out if you're really into dudes, or if it's just a phase or whatever. You would be the world's biggest asshole if you messed around with Nico, got his head all screwy, and then come to the realization that you're exclusively into girls. And then it would also be a dick move if you fooled around with him without, you know, talking to your girlfriend."</p><p>"How do I figure which one I like?" Percy asked, hating that he had no idea what he was doing in this situation. It would be so much easier if he could just ask Annabeth, but that was a calamitous idea if ever there was one.</p><p>"You could hang out with him more." Grover shrugged. "Compare how you feel around him feel around him versus how you feel around her. And you might not like one exclusively more than the other, we've gone over this."</p><p>"That's actually a good idea." Percy mused.</p><p>"Don't sound so surprised," Grover smiled. "It happens more often than you think."</p><p>"Yeah, you're right. It probably does." Percy mirrored Grover's smile. "There's just one problem though. How am I supposed to get him to come hang out?"</p><p>"Well, usually when I want someone to come hang I ask them, use your words Percy."</p><p>"That's the part that's going to be difficult." Percy said, his face burning red suddenly. "I, uh, may have been rooting through his stuff when I was, you know, unsober, and I found a—um, masturbatory aid?"</p><p>Grover's mouth fell open, "Like, dude, like a flesh light?"</p><p>"It was something more of the…dildo-y variety." He replied. "I found his dildo, Grover. And I played with it, like, I turned it on and I don't know. I was drunk." Percy's face was completely red now.</p><p>"Did you, like, did you put it in? Oh, shit! Did he catch you putting it in?"</p><p>"No!" Percy couldn't even look him in the eyes. "God, no!"</p><p>"To which one, man?"</p><p>"Fucking both, Grover! I didn't put the dildo in my ass."</p><p>Grover held up his hands in defense. "I mean, it would have been whatever, man. I was just trying to assess the situation."</p><p>"It was just really embarrassing." Percy said, holding his head in his hand. "He got really mad when he saw that I had it in my hands. Like, he kicked me out of his room and he yelled at me, which kinda sobered me up to be honest. I don't know if I can face him after something like that."</p><p>"He put on the little show after he kicked you out though?" Grover asked.</p><p>"Yeah," Percy replied.</p><p>"Then he forgives you," Grover supplied. "Just go over there, ask him if he wants to smoke a bowl with us or something?"</p><p>"I'm not smoking that stuff again, it made me act all weird."</p><p>"You never know, Perce, Nico could be totally into it. He likes drinking, he likes sex, it wouldn't be too far off to say he likes weed." Grover shrugged. "But if you didn't like it, I understand, man. I won't force it on you."</p><p>"I don't even know if he's going to talk to me again." Percy sighed.</p><p>"He's totally going to try and revenge bang you." Grover laughed.</p><p>"Revenge bang?"</p><p>"He's gonna bang you to get back at you for hurting him." Grover smirked. "Which, if he's as cute as you say he is I think you should totally let him."</p><p>"You are a horrible person." Percy laughed.</p><p>"I never claimed to be a role model, Percy." Grover replied with a mischievous look in his eyes. "Why don't you play some Gears with me instead of deciding who you want to bone more?"</p><p>"That does sound much better. I'm getting blue balls from all this thinking."</p><p>"No, you're getting blue balls from not getting anything more than blowjobs from your very willing, very attractive girlfriend. You're so gay, dude. You might as well go over there and make Nico forget all about his dildo."</p><p>Percy blushed again, "Grover!" But Grover was laughing too hard.</p><p>"How big was it, bro? Huge? I'll bet it was huge."</p><p>Percy hid his face again, "I mean it was average I guess—wait—fuck, I don't even know why I'm telling you this."</p><p>"Because I'm your best friend in the whole world." Grover put the 360 controller in Percy's lap. "You don't really have a choice in that anymore either, my friend, you're stuck with me for life." He grinned.</p><p>"Whatever," Answered Percy, smiling a little and feeling better just for having Grover around to talk about this stuff with, "let's just play."</p><hr/><p>Nico was sitting at a small coffee shop in Manhattan in SoHo, the smell in the air was aromatic, rich and sweet from the different blends of coffee being made. Carter had convinced him over text that he wasn't really hungry, something about his father making him a big breakfast, and that he was okay just grabbing a biscotti or a muffin and maybe a half frapp/half capp. For such a small shop it was very busy; people from all walks of life shuffling in and out with their purchases in hand. Nico forgot in his time away how crowded New York was. It wasn't so bad in Queens where he lived—or had lived and was currently staying—but it was super busy here.</p><p>The term 'well oiled machine' came to mind. Lights changed, people moved, cars stopped, lights changed, people stopped, cars moved. All the while vendors on the sides of the streets haggled, children played, people bustled.</p><p>And there was a sort of musicality to it, the horns, the shouting, the footfalls. As he waited Nico doodled at his napkin, something he did when he was idle and not really thinking—which wasn't often these days. Normally his brain was so occupied by every little thing that he never got a chance to just breathe. Breathe he did, Nico inhaled New York like it was on supply and he'd be running out soon. It filled his lungs like air and it thrummed in his blood. He had missed this place, even if he didn't have any friends here anymore.</p><p>"What're you working on?" The voice made him jump, he turned his head and Carter Kane was leaning over his shoulder.</p><p>"Nothing," Nico replied, but before he could palm the napkin he'd been working on Carter had it in his hands.</p><p>"Wow." Carter examined the cityscape Nico had captured. "This isn't nothing, you did this with a mechanical pencil? I couldn't do this with a picture of the city and a scanner." Nico had the good grace to blush, which made Carter raise an eyebrow. "You don't get complimented on your skill often do you?"</p><p>"It's not a skill, Carter," He said reaching up and swiping the napkin out of Carter's hand. He crumpled it up. "Sit." In Carter's other hand was a beverage holder, two small cups in it, and in his arms were muffins-a-plenty. He sat letting the baked goods spill out onto the table. "Do you ever not wear a tie?" Nico wondered.</p><p>"On days that don't end in 'y' usually, yeah." Carter replied with a huge, shit eating grin. Nico couldn't help the smile that crossed over his lips in answer, but he was caught off guard when Carter grabbed his hand. He looked down, the dark caramel of Carter's skin was like art against the paleness of his own. He locked eyes with the man grabbing him, but suddenly his hand was pried open and Carter had the crumpled napkin and was pulling away. "I think I'll keep this, if you don't mind." Carter smirked. Nico didn't like the way all the blood had rushed out of his head at Carter's touch. That smile was disarming and dangerous, if not goofy looking, and those eyes could stop him cold with their compassion.</p><p>"You are evil," Nico decided.</p><p>"Said the son of Hades." Carter replied.</p><p>"My dad's Italian, what's your excuse?" Nico laughed, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>"Would you believe I was Italian too?" Carter grinned, Nico laughed all the harder. "Didn't think so. Actually I think Mom was German or something, I never asked." Carter shrugged then he held up the napkin. "This is really good though. You draw a lot?"</p><p>"Not so much, really." Nico answered, "It's just sort of an estranged hobby. You know, everyone doodles."</p><p>Carter ran his eyes over the very detailed city outlined on the small chunk of paper, "Yeah, this isn't doodling. Or, if it is then my art skills are severely lacking. Nico I can't draw a fucking stick figure."</p><p>"I'm sure if you tried hard enough you could draw a stick figure," Nico said, grabbing Carter's hand, it was his turn, plus he didn't like the subject matter. He decided to change it. "How was work?" He wondered, running his nails softly over the pads of Carter's palm. Carter watched Nico deft fingers as he spoke, seemingly distracted.</p><p>"It was work." He said. "You came up a lot today,"</p><p>"More so than usual?" Nico wondered, his voice suddenly purring. He gripped at Carter's wrist and ran his hand up the man's arm, back and forth. "I feel special that I even come up at all."</p><p>"I—" Carter seemed to lose himself as he leaned forward. "You are special." He said locking eyes with Nico.</p><p>"Am I?" The other boy wondered, leaning in.</p><p>Carter seemed to realize what was going on when Nico's lips brushed his. "Stop." He said, sitting back. "Stop. No. Nico I can't—you're—fuck, you're sixteen."</p><p>"I'll be seventeen next month." Nico replied. "I'm not <em>that </em>young, Carter."</p><p>"You're still <em>too </em>young. Fuck! You'd think I was the teenager in this situation." He sighed, grabbing one of the coffees and handing it to Nico, then he took the other one and began to drink it. Nico took a sip of his own, then he unwrapped a muffin from its plastic paper prison and began picking at it.</p><p>"So," He said, making Carter look up. "when <em>is </em>the last time you got laid?" He smirked as Carter nearly choked on his drink.</p><p>"Wh-what?" Carter spat.</p><p>"That long? Shame." Nico laughed. "Good looking guy like you, all you have to do is bat your eyelashes a little and I'm sure the boys—or girls too, I guess—will come running."</p><p>"Nico you can't just—Jesus, dude." Carter wiped at his mouth.</p><p>"It's a legitimate question, we're friends. Buddies ask each other that kind of stuff all the time. Hell, Leo pesters me about it constantly if I get upset about something."</p><p>"Yeah, but I mean you have to be more reserved about stuff like that. You barely know me."</p><p>"I know you well enough, Carter." Nico smiled. "The question still stands." Carter fidgeted with the baked goods on the table for a moment, his nail scratching at the plastic wrap of a muffin before he sighed.</p><p>"Zia." He said and Nico recalled instantly that Zia was his ex. "She—uh—I mean, I wasn't exactly a virgin before I met her or anything, but I wasn't really that experienced either. I had a long, awkward phase that didn't really go away until just before she popped up into my life."</p><p>"How long have you and Zia been broken up?" Nico wondered.</p><p>"Ah," Carter counted on his fingers. "It'll be five months next week."</p><p>"Five months?" Nico sat back, slightly aghast. "Carter, that's far too long."</p><p>Carter shrugged, "Dr. Kirshbaum was right in her assessment. I don't have sex with someone I don't have, you know, feelings for. That time in the club was my first time out since I broke up with her, and we stopped cause I found out how old you are." He shook his head. "It's probably for the best that nothing happened. I would have gotten my head all twisted up about you, I always do that when I…when I'm intimate with someone."</p><p>Nico grabbed Carter's hand, "You're really cute, did you know that?"</p><p>A tiny smile broke at the corner of the other man's lips, "Thanks."</p><p>"No," Nico's grip tightened. "I'm not trying to hit on you, or get in your pants right now. Carter, you're a great guy—and I don't say that about a lot of the guys who reject me, so since you've done nothing but reject me that should mean a lot to you. You're—ugh, I could definitely like you a lot."</p><p>"You think you're the only one?" Carter asked, sitting back. "Maybe if I was born a little later, or if you were born a little earlier…but I just can't, in good conscience, do anything with you, Nico. That's just how I am."</p><p>"So chivalrous, I'm envious of whoever you go out with next." Nico sat back, his fingers still touching Carter's. "Life just likes to fuck with everybody it seems."</p><p>"I'll drink to that," Carter said, the tiniest hint of that smile returning. He sipped at his coffee. "So, when is the last time you 'got laid' I think was the term you used?"</p><p>"Couple of weeks back by my ex," Nico replied. "It's been brought to my attention that he's probably not good for me. All we ever did was fuck and do drugs, or so I'm lead to believe." He shrugged.</p><p>"This is that Augustus guy, right?"</p><p>"Octavian, and yes." Nico corrected.</p><p>"Well, being that I've never done drugs before," Nico smirked at that, "I can't really say a lot there, but it doesn't sound like it was a healthy relationship."</p><p>"Yes, I'm quite aware of that." Nico replied, drinking more of his coffee as it cooled. "But he was good in the sack and he made me feel special for a little while, till he was done. After that we didn't really have to put up with each other cause we were always high." He shrugged again. "It worked for us."</p><p>"Have you brought this up with Dr. Kirshbaum?" It was a legitimate question.</p><p>"The good doctor knows the outline of most of my problems, but I don't really want to go into detail with her," Nico answered. "I just don't trust psyches, no offense."</p><p>"None taken," replied Carter. "but I think you guys should talk about it. And about Percy."</p><p>"What is there to say about Percy? Regardless of what happens with him I'm only here for the Summer, after that I'll never see him again—which is how it should be."</p><p>"Nico it's nice to have good relationships, even with people who have hurt us in the past." Carter said.</p><p>"Would you forgive Zia?" Nico asked, but the minute it was out of his mouth he wondered if he had gone too far. Carter's expression turned down, his eyebrows scrunching together and his mouth turning into a frown.</p><p>"Truthfully?" He asked. Nico nodded. "In a heartbeat. I'm still in love with her and she just blindsided me with the break-up. I would forgive her, go back out with her, and try to marry her as soon as I could. Sadie says I'm too much of a romantic for my own good."</p><p>"She may be right," Nico grinned. "I want to forgive Percy, but I don't think that will make me feel better."</p><p>"But, if you talk to him and to Dr. Kirshbaum it will help you get to the root of the issue, what's really causing you to feel and act like you do."</p><p>Nico sat up, resting his chin in his right hand, "Everyone around me seems to be filled with much more knowledge than I am capable of, you all have such good insight about this shit. I just want someone to tell me it's okay to feel shitty about the situation. I'm tired of everyone telling me to get over it."</p><p>"Nico," Carter grabbed his arm firmly, there was a lot of strength in that hand. "it's okay to feel shitty, it's okay not to be okay. It's okay to cry and mope and throw fits, but know why you're doing it. Knowing the problem might not make it go away but it will justify your reasons for doing the things you do, to others and to yourself." Carter fingered the fading scars across Nico's wrist. "Getting to the root issue is all Dr. Kirshbaum wants to help you with right now, once its discovered she'll discuss with you whether or not you want to keep seeing her, or if she can prescribe a specialist more suited to the needs of the issue, be it physical or psychological."</p><p>Nico was quiet for a moment, as if thinking, and he was sad when Carter pulled his hand back but finally he said, "I'll think about it."</p><p>"That's all anyone can ask of you." Carter replied, his eyes always so compassionate and understanding. If Nico was Zia he would be kicking his own ass right now.</p><p>"Can we talk about something else? I get enough therapy as is for the moment." Carter nodded.</p><p>"Sure," He said with a small, sincere smile on his face. "anything you want to talk about."</p><p>"<em>Anything</em>?" He knocked his knee between the other man's and settled it on Carter's inner thigh, laughing when Carter's eyes bugged a bit. "Kidding." He said retracting his knee and sitting up straighter.</p><p>"You are definitely going to get me fired," Carter sighed. "Or give me a heart attack, one."</p><p>"I'd much prefer the previous to the latter. I don't have any friends around here and it would be a shame to lose the only guy I actually get alone with for five seconds to cardiac arrest." Carter gave him one of those smiles, those unassuming things that Nico thought were just so handsome. He shook his head and brushed away the thoughts that entered into his mind. "I gotta tell you Carter, it's going to be difficult for me to be just friends with a guy I'm attracted to. I've never done it."</p><p>"<em>Never</em>?" Carter laughed. "Like, ever?"</p><p>"Nope." Nico shrugged. "If I see a guy I like I usually just sleep with him. Kirshbaum is probably right on that whole "sex equals comfort" thing she said about me or whatever."</p><p>"You don't have a problem with that?" Carter wondered.</p><p>"Well, I mean, a tiger can't change its stripes, man."</p><p>"That's a horrible analogy," Carter smirked, "but there's nothing wrong with having sex, we both know that. It's your body, but the mind just boggles that you never get rejected."</p><p>"Usually I'm in a gay club, so that helps." Nico replied, returning Carter's smirk. "But I like to think that confidence is key, even if you're not sure if a dude is straight or not."</p><p>"And if someone isn't confident?"</p><p>"Why then do like I do: fake it." That seemed to bring the conversation to a head. Carter examined Nico's face, he could see the boy put a lot of care into his appearance. His hair was perfect right down to the most minute detail, his face blemish free, his skin without oil and smooth looking.</p><p>"Why are you so sad, Nico?" Carter asked, lowering his voice. "You—you're beautiful, you're smart, you're an amazing artist. I just don't understand how someone like you could be so sad even when you're smiling like that."</p><p>"Well," Nico replied, his grin dazzling and his eyes never leaving Carter's. "if I knew the answer to that we wouldn't have met a second time, would we have?"</p><p>"And you can avoid questions like nobody's business," Carter assessed.</p><p>Nico sat back in his seat, "I'm telling the truth," He said, "if I could give you a concrete answer as to why I hate everything, and a lot of times almost everyone I would tell you in a heartbeat. There are a plethora of answers it <em>could </em>be, Carter. The fact that I feel like no one could ever love me, or perhaps that some days I can't even love myself. Maybe because I only feel attractive when men look at me like they want me to take my clothes off? Maybe because I try to hard to please people who aren't any good for me, or because I'm attracted to things that <em>aren't </em>good for me?</p><p>The list goes on, Carter, it really does. But, and here's the kicker, I think what bums me out the most is that I <em>know </em>all of these things, and I listen to one therapist/slash/psychologist after another tell me things I already know. I'm just waiting on Kirshbaum to tell me I have Dissociative Personality Disorder or Schizophrenia or that I'm bipolar something. I had one tell me it was diabetes." Nico gave Carter an unamused look, "I do not have diabetes. That's why I just can't trust these guys. The more you tell them your problems the worse things get. I'm just afraid, I guess at the end of the day, that I'm not good enough. Not for my parents, or my sister who does nothing but try to help me, not for my friends, not for anyone." Nico sighed. "I thought we agreed to move on from this."</p><p>"We did," Carter said. "I'm sorry, I'm being invasive again. It's just that I find you kind of…fascinating." Again Nico found himself wishing Carter wouldn't smile at him like that. "Can I tell you one last thing on this topic and we'll be done with it forever, or unless you feel the need to bring it back up?"</p><p>Nico couldn't help the small smile that Carter's openness pulled out of him, "Fine." He said trying and failing to sound exasperated.</p><p>"I really think you should tell Dr. Kirshbaum all of this, she can help. She really can," There was something in his voice that made Nico really look at him.</p><p>"How do you know she can?"</p><p>"Because I went to go see her after my mom passed," Carter told him. "It was some years back, I was closer to your age, actually. I was inconsolable, my sister and I both were, and Dr. Kirshbaum sorted us both out. She helped, Nico. She helped me and I think she can help you too. If you let her."</p><p>"I—" Nico sighed. "Fine, I'll try. I will try not to shut down anymore. I can't make any promises, shutting down is one of my favorite things to do, but I'll do my best to try."</p><p>"Good," Carter stood and held his hand out for Nico to grasp. "Come on, I've got something that will take your mind off of all of this. I have a feeling I've been pushing my luck with you, you know, I told you I just wanted to be friends, and then I invaded your personal bubble again. So I think it'd be cool if you took a ride with me. I'll show you the city."</p><p>Nico took Carter's hand, "I've seen the city, I used to live here,"</p><p>"Used to' being the key words in that sentence," He led Nico away from their table; they walked for a while down the street, over a crosswalk, and to a car garage. All the while as Nico asked where they were going Carter would only say, "You'll see," with a smile. When they reached the parking garage and they ascended to the second floor they stopped, "Ta-da!" Carter smirked.</p><p>Nico looked at the vehicle in front of him, "You drive a motorcycle?" Nico blinked.</p><p>"I do indeed, but not just any motorcycle: it's an r-one-one-double zero-RT."</p><p>"I'm supposed to know what that is?" Nico laughed. "It's a BMW," He read on the side, "you could just say that."</p><p>"Ah, but that's how you say what model it is, let me have this one thing. My bike is the only thing that Sadie says I actually look cool on."</p><p>Nico grinned. "Okay, cool guy. How is it that you ended up driving one of these death machines?"</p><p>"It was my Dad's. We fixed it up a few years back and he gave it to me, I've been riding it ever since," Carter knelt and grabbed a helmet that was locked away in a sidesaddle satchel that attached to the bike. "Here," He handed it to Nico. "Put this on."</p><p>"You're really going to make me ride on this thing?" Nico asked skeptically, accepting the helmet all the same.</p><p>"I think you'll enjoy yourself, just hold on tight to me." Carter pulled next a jacket and a pair of gloves out of his sidesaddle satchel.</p><p>Nico put the helmet on, making sure the chinstrap was tight. He watched Carter put the jacket on and the gloves, "Don't you need a helmet too?" Nico asked, but Carter just grinned as he threw a leg over the body of the bike, he inserted his key and pushed a button and the thing purred to life as if woken.</p><p>"Get on," He said over the considerable sound of the engine. Nico hesitated for a moment, then he quickly sat pillion behind Carter, grabbing the older man around the middle with both arms and locking himself in place, he unconsciously gripped Carter's hips with his thighs. "You ready?" Carter yelled.</p><p>"No!" Nico screamed back, but it dissolved into air as the bike sped off down the rampway of the parking garage and onto the street, and soon the screaming dissolved into laughing as Carter gunned the engine forward, zooming around cars and curbs with obvious and expert skill. "Whooo!" Nico screamed into the midday atmosphere. His heart hammering in his chest, his arms and legs still locked around Carter in a vice, but suddenly he felt himself come back to life. He whooped loudly again and he could feel more than see Carter laughing thanks to the hands he had on his abdomen.</p><p>Nico found he didn't care where they were going. It was in that moment where everything just felt so nice. He hugged himself closer to Carter, taking in the smell of the man's cologne and watched the world zoom by with an honest to God smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico sat on the ground, it was late into the afternoon and the sun was beginning to go down. "This has been fun." He said with a smile, wearing Carter's leather jacket to fight off the chill of riding closer to night. They had travelled a little ways out of the city and were sitting on a hill that overlooked it. Lights were beginning to twinkle on and the city below was starting to look like a blanket of stars; it was probably the perfect way to end the day. Nico watched as everything slowly began to light up, first at a snail's pace then all at once.</p><p>It was like magic how it all happened so quickly.</p><p>"I hope you like jazz, I didn't even ask before I took you to The Hole in The Wall," Carter said sitting beside him.</p><p>"Are you kidding?" Nico replied with a grin, "I've never heard music played like that, you've made a fan out of me. First a walk around the park, then Italian food—I wonder why you picked that one—" Nico smiled a little more deviously, Carter blushed and looked away. "Don't worry, it was <em>molto bene</em>," He laughed, "then to top it off you even got me gelato. I would be offended that I'd become a stereotype if you weren't so sweet and it wasn't so tasty." He grinned leaning his head on Carter's shoulder. "And then you take me to a jazz club, I didn't even know there <em>were </em>jazz clubs. How'd you get the bouncer to let me in? I didn't even have to use my fake ID."</p><p>"The bouncer is my uncle," Carter laughed. "Uncle Amos, he's a good guy. He actually owns the joint but doesn't trust anyone to watch the door. Thinks underaged kids'll get in." Carter waggled his eyebrows and Nico laughed harder. "He's a cool guy though, very down to earth."</p><p>"I could tell, must be where you get it from." Nico shoved against Carter's shoulder, which earned a lopsided smirk. "It's only a little weird that he wears sunglasses even when the sun's not out though." It was Carter's turn to laugh.</p><p>"Yeah, that's Uncle Amos." He said fondly.</p><p>For a moment there was a comfortable silence, then Nico pushed off of Carter. "This was the most fun I've had in a while." He said, looking at the older man next from him.</p><p>"Me too," Carter replied with such a dazzling smile, Nico almost melted.</p><p>"You're sure I can't persuade you into thinking that this was a date? I never have this good a time on dates. I'd love it if you could bend your rule for me, just this once?" Their eyes met for a moment, Nico inching closer, but Carter turned.</p><p>"It was <em>really </em>fun..." Carter said.</p><p>"But?"</p><p>"But I already said I can't." He answered. "This is good, I think. This is a nice friendship, you and me. I don't always get on with other guys too well, makes being bi difficult. I can't talk to men the same way I talk to girls, and I can barely talk to girls. I…I just think it'll be nice to have a close guy friend for once. Even if he's sixteen, really cute, and is continually trying to get into my pants."</p><p>"Which, by the way, you have a metaphorical padlock on. What is that, the Chastity Belt 2.0?" Nico replied in faux irritation. He sighed, but gave Carter a look that told him he was kidding. "Fine, I guess we can be just friends. As long as, you know, me wanting to bang you doesn't present to be a problem?" And in the oncoming night Nico could swear he saw Carter's face actually go red, which was a feat he was most proud of.</p><p>"Your humor'll take some getting used to." Carter laughed.</p><p>"Love me or leave me, that's what I say." Nico grinned, laying on his new proclaimed "just" friend's shoulder again. He grabbed his hand. "This is actually nice," He said, watching as the sun shone brilliant orange, then gold, then red as it descended more and more down the horizon. "I miss my friends back home, but I think you're doing a good job making me miss them less." He laced their fingers together. "Plus the only one I can be lovey-dovey on is Frank, and he's afraid if he hugs me too hard I'll break." Nico smirked, thinking of his other friends.</p><p>"He was a big guy," Carter recalled, "bigger than me."</p><p>"He's a teddy bear." Nico laughed. "Scared of thunderstorms and his grandma, but he's fought dudes for almost assaulting me. Clocked this one guy so hard he went down on the first punch. He hates fighting though, hates violence actually. He's the most passive guy I know. Kinda makes Mother Theresa and Ghandi look like Bonnie and Clyde." Carter smiled.</p><p>"You really do miss your friends don't you?" He asked.</p><p>"It's hard to go from seeing them every day, and you know, being with them every day to suddenly knowing you can't see them for another three months. I'm closer to them than I am to my own family." Nico answered with a sigh. "I try to talk to at least one of them a day since I've been here."</p><p>"You've only been here for like four days," Carter laughed, Nico gave him a dark look. "But I see that's not the point," He amended, still unable to keep the laughter out of his voice.</p><p>"It's not." Nico said, he felt comfortable and didn't want to move from his spot with Carter's warm arm over his shoulder and wrapped around his waist, him leaning against the older man's admittedly thick body.</p><p>Carter was more muscle than Nico would have thought—and he wouldn't admit it but he may have been feeling him up all day. Being on a motorcycle situated him just so and it was an opportunity he wasn't going to pass up.</p><p>But, as if the gods hated him, his phone rang and he sighed in contempt.</p><p>"Speak of the devil, I'll be that's one of them. You're so popular," Carter smirked.</p><p>"Or something," Nico mumbled, digging in his pocket for his phone. It was his mother, "It's my mom," Nico said. He answered his phone, "Hello?"</p><p>"Isn't it about time you made your way home?" His mother replied, she didn't sound angry but genial and perhaps a little worried, he was unsure which. "The streetlights just came on, and your father and I keep telling you this but you're grounded and all that stuff. I want you to have fun, but you have a curfew now."</p><p>Nico sighed, "Yeah, okay. I'll be back soon I guess."</p><p>"Sorry to call your night early, sweetie. I'm sure you're having fun with that young man." Maria paused on the other end of the phone. "Not too much fun I hope."</p><p>He smirked into the phone, leaning deeper into Carter, "I'll be home soon, Mom." He replied. "Bye, I love you."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Nico hung up after that, and patted Carter's arm. The man behind him relinquished him and Nico stood to his feet. Carter stood up behind him. "Gonna guess I should be taking you back?" Nico nodded. "Ah, to be sixteen again and have your parents control your life." He laughed.</p><p>"It's a blast," Nico deadpanned, but his expression softened. "They've been really cool lately though. Dad's been around a lot more and Mom and me are talking to each other, not, like, a kid being talk to by his parent, but like a mother listening to her son. It's…nice."</p><p>"Enjoy it while you can, Nico. All too soon our parents are taken out of our lives," Carter put an arm around his shoulders again. "Come on, get on the bike and we'll get you back to your place."</p><p>"You can just take me to the subway; it's not a big deal."</p><p>"It's totally a big deal, a kid like you, all doe-eyed and rosy cheeked on the train at night? You wouldn't make it home," They walked over to Carter's bike where he handed Nico the helmet. "I don't mind the drive, I like riding at night." He threw his leg over the seat and sat, "Get on." Nico climbed on behind him, holding tightly again; but, in their day of motor biking he had become a much better backseat rider, learning how to lean into turns and everything. "Ready?" Carter asked as he latched the straps under his chin.</p><p>"Yeah!" Nico yelled over the dull roar of the bike, which was all Carter needed to hear. He kicked the stand up and pushed forward and soon they were on the road again.</p><hr/><p>It was the sound that had Percy getting up from his Gears campaign mode marathon with Grover. They were almost to the last level, almost to Skorge, when the sound of a motorcycle pulling up outside had him pausing and going over to the window. Grover looked over at him with an eyebrow raised, shaking his head.</p><p>"I think that's Nico," Percy said from the windowsill.</p><p>"Is he even old enough to drive by himself, Percy?" Grover asked, standing up and coming over to look out the window with him. "Who's that guy he's with?" They watched as Nico got off the motorcycle that, even in the darkened sky, they could tell was nice. He handed the helmet he was wearing to the driver, and leaned in, pecking him on the cheek. The guy seemed flustered, but smiled widely before he said something that made Nico laugh. He put on the helmet, which obscured his mouth, but he and Nico seemed to still be talking. Then with what appeared to be a last second hug the guy kicked up the stand and was zooming off. Nico stared after him for a second and then started off towards his house. "Do you think that was his boyfriend?" Grover asked.</p><p>"He looked too old to be his boyfriend." Percy replied, both his voice and expression sour.</p><p>"I'm gonna go ask him if he wants to hang out." Percy blinked, and stuttered but before he could flail Grover was already at the door.</p><p>"Grover, NO!" Percy nearly tripped over his own feet, and the consequently over the X-Box, before he was even at the door, and by that time Grover was heading down the stairs. Percy would have cursed loudly if his parents weren't home. It was by luck of the gods that Paul wasn't poking his head out of the door asking what all the commotion was. Percy nearly leapt down all the stairs following behind his deceptively quick friend. He had never known Grover to move very fast, but apparently he could when he wanted to.</p><p>"Yo! Nico." Percy nearly died of mortification, he stopped dead in his tracks halfway between his home and the di Angelos. He watched as Nico stood, poised with the key in the lock, and turned over his shoulder to find whoever was calling his name. "I'm Grover, Percy's friend." Grover was saying, walking up the steps to Nico's front porch. He thrust his hand out for Nico to shake.</p><p>"Oh…" Nico looked past Grover at Percy, and the aforementioned was sure he was having a heart attack. "Hi?" It was the way he said it, Nico was freaked out, Percy knew it. He would have been too if some lanky giant of a guy showed up on his front porch for no reason.</p><p>"So who was that guy? Was he your boyfriend? Percy was totally wondering if he was your boyfriend." Grover looked over his shoulder. "What are you doing way back there, come introduce me to your friend." Percy knew his face was burning red as he lifted one leg after the other forcing himself to walk forward.</p><p>"Looks like you've already introduced your damn self," Percy grumbled. "Nico I'm sorry, I have no control over this doofus." But there was amusement shining in Nico's eyes. In the dark he looked otherworldly, the bright moonlight glinting in his dark hair and making his skin so much paler. Percy's eyes lingered too long on pink lips and he found his blush growing warmer. "Sorry." He said again.</p><p>"Don't be," Nico moved with a fluid sort of grace, grabbing Grover's still extended hand. "I'm Nico, I used to live here. Visiting for a little while for…reasons. You two were watching me?" He cut his vision over to Percy again. "You've got a bad habit of peeping. What if I were indecent?" To his great amusement Percy looked away again.</p><p>"I don't think he'd mind too much."</p><p>Percy's eyes grew wide, "Grover, would you <em>shut the fuck up</em>?" He hissed, punching Grover hard in the arm. Nico laughed.</p><p>"You're a strange guy, Percy." He said, leaning against the door. "I'm still trying to figure the new you out. Are you gay, or are you straight and confused?" Grover opened his mouth, for which he received another shot to the arm. This time it sounded like it hurt.</p><p>"Fuuuck!" Grover groaned. "Too hard, brother."</p><p>Nico laughed, "Well when you get that figured out let me know." Nico turned and unlocked his door.</p><p>"Nico!" Percy was unsure why he had called his name out. He curled his fingers back, he had almost grabbed the boy by the arm. "I—we—well Grover wanted to know if you wanted to come hang out? He's got…you know, stuff to smoke or whatever, if you're into that?"</p><p>Those eyes like onyx glimmered even brighter, "Well first I wonder: if it was you, the both of you, or just Grover who wanted to hang out with me?"</p><p>"Him," Grover replied, gripping his arm where Percy had punched. "Won't shut up about it actually. Not that I'm above getting to know you a little better." He winked. Before Percy could sock his friend again Nico held up his hand.</p><p>"Is that true, Percy?" He asked.</p><p>It took a moment before an answer came, "It's…not…<em>not </em>true." Percy replied eloquently. "I told you I missed you," His cheeks were red again. "And I owe you a real apology."</p><p>"You do." Nico said. There was a moment of silence, Nico's eyes not leaving his face. Percy swallowed.</p><p>"You-you mean right now?" He asked.</p><p>Nico chuckled, "No, not right now. I can come hang out tomorrow, I've got shit to do in the morning, regretfully. Like I said, I didn't come back just to visit." Percy didn't miss the sad look on Nico's face but he was unsure how to bring it up without sounding prying. "I'll hang out tomorrow. We'll smoke, if I'm catching your drift properly."</p><p>"Yeah, it's weed." Was Grover's blunt reply, he wore a grin like he was born with it. "Good shit."</p><p>"My favorite kind." Nico laughed. "Well Grover, it was nice to meet you, even in the dark, when I thought I was going to have to pepper spray your ass." Grover just smiled wider.</p><p>"Yeah, that's my bad. Got caught up in the moment, brother." He laughed, shaking hands again.</p><p>"And Perseus, I have a feeling you'll see me before I see you. So until tomorrow," Nico pushed the door open and walked inside. He paused a moment in mid-step. "Oh, and Carter isn't my boyfriend. We're just friends," He gave them a wink and dark smile before closing the door. They stood there for a moment, staring at it. Percy turned and punched Grover again; the guy could take a hit, that much could be said.</p><p>"Damn, Perce, you got on brass knuckles or something?" He groaned, clutching at his chest where Percy's last attack had impacted.</p><p>"You fucking asshole, I can't believe you just did that!" Percy all but yelled back at him.</p><p>"I was just trying to get the ball rolling dude," Grover said good naturedly. "Plus, Perce, you said he was cute, you didn't say he was fucking gorgeous. If you don't scoop him sometime soon I'm definitely going to."</p><p>"You have a girlfriend." Percy said, with only a little hint of worry in his voice.</p><p>"Okay, first off: so do you. And secondly, might I remind you that Juniper is an open-minded girl who doesn't really care if I get a little on the side, as long as she knows." Grover corrected. "Hell, she might want in if she saw him. You think he'd go for that?" Percy hit him again, just to take his frustrations out. "You've got to stop doing that! Seriously, I'm mostly joking about that three-way action. Mostly."</p><p>Percy elected to ignore that and groaned instead, sitting on the steps. "This is happening too fast," He said. "I thought I'd have more time choosing, and I don't even know if Nico likes me like that anymore, we've barely said a whole sentence between the two of us. Fuck." Grover sat beside him.</p><p>"Percy, brother, come on, would you have really made the choice if you weren't forced? You would've tried to be friends with Nico, with benefits might I add, and you would have tried to keep Annabeth because you're a selfish fucker." Percy shot him a glare. "Okay, you're not selfish, but you are bad at not making decisions till the last minute."</p><p>Percy didn't answer immediately, "Yeah, I guess."</p><p>"At least this way you get to talk to him more, right?" Grover asked, nudging Percy with his shoulder. Percy actually managed a smile.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess you're right." He said looking up, "I'm not thanking you, you're still an asshole."</p><p>"Assholes might go through a lot of shit, but at least they're resilient, so I take that as the highest of compliments, Perseus." Grover laughed at the look on the other young man's face.</p><p>"Don't call me that," Percy said, expression screwed up.</p><p>"Nico did." Grover commented.</p><p>"Yeah, but that's different. He's—" Percy stopped as the door opened and they both looked behind them, expecting to see Nico. Instead it was the looming form of his father, wreathed in the darkness of the night. Percy had almost forgotten how intimidating Hades could look.</p><p>"Gentlemen, if I could ask what you're doing out here?" He asked in a sickly sweet, calm voice. But his eyes were gleaming and serious and his face did not match his tone. Percy looked at Grover, who looked as if he had soiled himself.</p><p>"We were talking to Nico, but he went back inside," Percy said, standing. Hades looked as if he was considering that answer, then opened the door completely, nearly filling up the frame of it. But, Percy noted as he stood closer to Nico's father, the man was smaller than he had been years ago, or more likely Percy had grown.</p><p>"And you decided to hang around in the dark on my front doorstep why?" Hades asked. "Either come in or go home, Percy, though I'm not sure Nico would be a fan of me letting you in." Percy smirked and grabbed Grover by the arm, pulling him up.</p><p>"I'll go home, Hades. I think Nico's had enough of me for tonight." He paused. "Are you guys still coming over this weekend? Paul is looking forward to barbecuing for one of his favorite authors." Hades seemed to pale at that, his eyes growing darker.</p><p>"Yes," He said. "Though I will not be leaving the house as an "author" I will be coming over simply as a friend making a visit, you know I'm not a fan of fanfare."</p><p>"I know," Percy smiled. "we'll try to keep it low key. Come on, Gro."</p><hr/><p>Nico awoke that morning with a spring in his movements. The night before when he'd gone to sleep there hadn't been so much as a flicker at the blinds in the window next door, but he figured that was more to do with Percy not wanting to embarrass himself in front of Grover.</p><p>Nico knew he shouldn't be so excited. This was bad territory he was heading into, Percy was…what? Bi? Gay? Straight? Nico had no idea, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Maybe in all this time Percy had grown not to care about labels. Some people didn't label their sexuality and just went with whoever attracted them. He wondered momentarily if the guy who had tormented him in his dreams and unknowingly in his waking so often was that new aged in his thinking.</p><p>But he couldn't see that, not with Percy.</p><p>Then again, a lot of time had passed, and while Percy may have seemed like his old self there were things that were most definitely not like who he had been before.</p><p>Percy used to be his protector, his white knight. Now it seemed like he was or could be just as awkward as Nico felt. Which was probably good, he couldn't handle Percy if he was still perfect—or what he remembered as perfect. It would hurt too much, thinking of him like that. Now Percy was the perv next door who looked out of his window to peep in on the neighbor, and Nico shouldn't have enjoyed that either, but he did.</p><p>He looked at his clock, there was no way Percy was going to be up just yet. Still, he thought, it wouldn't hurt to get changed in front of the window again. He smirked, willing himself not to think too much about it. He didn't want to sport an erection on his way to the bathroom, especially with either his mother or father lurking out there waiting on him to start getting ready.</p><p>Nico sat up and yawned, rubbing at his face and combing fingers through his hair. The tank top that clung to his shoulders was bunched up and wrapped around his body. He righted it, and then his underwear which had done basically the same thing.</p><p>Grabbing his towel from the back of his computer chair Nico headed off to the shower, where he quickly shaved, brushed his teeth, showered, and then styled his hair. The straightness of it had worn out the night previous after he had taken a shower; then, the humidity of the steam, not to mention the water itself, had set his hair back to its curly glory. So instead of being overly fussy about it he slicked some styling foam into it, made sure it swept out of his eyes and began to moisturize his face. Not that he would tell anyone he moisturized. Or did half of his early morning routine. It was embarrassing enough on his own conscience, he didn't need the entire world knowing he primped and preened.</p><p>The face staring back at him in the mirror looked ready enough, his cheeks were smooth from lack of barely-there stubble, his teeth were as white as he could keep them without visiting a dentist, his face looked clean and washed, and his hair was perfect—or pretty damn close.</p><p>Wrapping his towel around his waist he exited the bathroom, thankful that his parents had their own so he could take as long as he wanted, within reason. He made his way back to his room where he closed the door behind him, and locked it. Then he raised the blind a bit, not by much, but enough. He waited for a moment, trying to appear as if he wasn't waiting, and then he saw it.</p><p>The tale-tale flick of a shade being slightly moved.</p><p>He dropped his towel as if it were the exact thing he was about to do and strutted over to his dresser, pulling out a nice pair of light blue briefs. They hugged him snuggly and left little to the imagination. He turned from the window, his bare buttocks showing to anyone who might be watching from Percy's bedroom, and slowly but surely worked the underwear up his legs.</p><p>When they were securely in place he smirked, because the blinds from the other house had not one, but two pairs of eyes watching, and they may not have been able to see his face clearly but because of the way he had his own shades pulled he could see them clear as day. Percy's aquamarine eyes were unmistakable, and Nico guessed Grover's were the soil brown ones.</p><p>He ran a hand down his stomach, all the way until he was cupping himself. He tugged a few times before deciding that since it had been a while since he'd gotten off that probably wasn't a good idea. Turning again and he headed over to his other dresser and a plain white tee-shirt. He leaned over overdramatically, wiggling his butt, and pulled out a pair of cargo shorts. It was too hot out for the usual jeans.</p><p>He looked at the clothing; the lack of black amused him for a moment. He hadn't even known his wardrobe consisted of so much black until he was actually wearing other colors, and even then they were dark grays and navies. It was a hard life, he thought with a smirk.</p><p>He pulled the clothes on, ever mindful of the eyes that were still watching him, then he walked over to his window and closed the shades completely.</p><p>The show was over.</p><p>Almost as if on cue there was a knock at his door, "You ready, Nico?" His mother called.</p><p>Nico answered the door with a smile, "I am, actually." He grinned. His mother took in his expression, she looked him up and down.</p><p>"Carter knows you're sixteen, yeah?" She asked. "Of course he does, he told me he did. I'm sure this brilliant grin on your face has nothing to do with…sex?" Nico actually laughed, whereas before he might have slammed the door in her face out of sheer embarrassment.</p><p>"No, Mom. Carter and I are just friends, he's made that abundantly clear several times over."</p><p>"Oh, so I just have a happy son today. I can deal with that," Maria smoothed his hair down before she kissed him on the cheek.</p><p>"Actually," Nico replied. "I'm hanging out with Percy later today, well him and his friend." Maria rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I swear you're more like me when it comes to boys at your age than your sister was," She pinched the cheek she had just kissed. "Just remember, he's hurt you before, and he's got a girlfriend."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. You're preaching to the choir, Mom." Nico waved her off.</p><p>Maria rolled her eyes again, but couldn't keep the smile off of her face, "I'll be ready in a sec, go wait in the car."</p><p>"'Kay," She moved aside so he could go downstairs then she made her way back to her own room. Nico grabbed the keys from the holder beside the door and made his way over to the car. He stopped when he looked up and saw two figures watching him from across the yard. Grover and Percy were absolutely the worst at being inconspicuous. He watched as they peaked heads out of the Jackson's front door, Grover so tall that his head was over Percy's like a bad cartoon.</p><p>Nico waved, and laughed when Percy fell. Grover waved back, unashamed at being caught. Nico stood there, wondering if they were going to come over, when Grover grabbed Percy by the arm and began dragging him that way. Percy wasn't exactly protesting, but he kept his eyes trained on the ground until he was standing right in front of Nico.</p><p>"You two are up awfully early," Nico said with a smirk.</p><p>"We haven't been to sleep yet," Grover replied, throwing an arm over Percy's shoulders. "Up all night gaming and talking, but it would've been more fun if you could've joined us."</p><p>"It does sound like fun, maybe one day when I'm not busy." Nico leaned back on the car. "So all you've been up to is games? Nothing else? Haven't been <em>watching </em>anything interesting?" Percy paled and Grover just smiled wider.</p><p>"We did see <em>something </em>pretty interesting when you were chang—"</p><p>"That's all we did, yeah," Percy finally spoke up, though he couldn't meet Nico's eye. By the look of it Nico thought he couldn't look at him anymore without seeing him naked, in all probability.</p><p>"Hey, Percy." That got him to look up, Nico smiled at him and Percy visibly relaxed. "I'll see you later today, right? You're not gonna fall asleep on me?"</p><p>"No," Percy said, he looked as if he wanted to say more, but chose otherwise. "I—no, we'll be up. When are you coming back home?"</p><p>"I don't really know, give me your number and I'll text you when I'm on the way back." Percy stared at him for a minute, his face the center of disbelief.</p><p>"You want my number?" He asked.</p><p>"I do." Nico replied, the patent di Angelo eyebrow raise mixed with a smirk of amusement made Percy blush again. It was a funny sight, considering that Percy towered over him but seemed to be the more bashful of the two. Nico obviously had all the power in this new dynamic of theirs, and he noted this with a watchful eye.</p><p>"You're not still—well I mean you agreed to come over, so I figured you weren't still mad about yesterday. I mean, I was really hoping because I told you I don't really drink, and I didn't know it hit you that fast, and you make really strong drinks—"</p><p>Grover crushed Percy's lips with his hand, "His number is 929-212-8231," He said. Nico punched it into his phone with a smile and a quick thanks. "Yeah, no problem. Percy and I have this explicit understanding that if we start flailing in front of a hot girl it's the other person's duty to stop the train wreck. I think it works here too."</p><p>Nico grinned now, "You think I'm hot, Grover?"</p><p>"You kidding me?" Grover laughed, it was a bray really, "If I didn't have a girlfriend G-man would totally be all over you."</p><p>"And what about Percy?" Nico wondered, turning his attention back to the brown haired boy whose face had decided to do its best imitation of a cherry. "Does he think I'm hot?" Percy was pulling Grover's hand away from his mouth when Grover spoke up.</p><p>"Percy is straight, for all we know at the moment, but I'm not saying that's concrete, nor am I saying I believe it." If Percy didn't look like he was about to die before, he did now. Nico laughed a little, though his heart was racing in his chest. He knew he had to remain cool, sometime in their few brief meetings he had gained the upperhand against Percy Jackson. Something about him had rendered the taller young man semi-incoherent and Nico had to use it to his advantage.</p><p>"Aw," Nico cooed, stepping closer, the embodiment of the confident homosexual, so assured in his appearance and self that he could wrangle any man, gay, straight, or anything around and in-between. He boldly hooked a finger in Percy's front belt loops. "I'll happily help you discover your sexuality, Perce, if you hadn't heard I used to have a huge crush on you." The smile on his lips was fake, and he wasn't sure why he was doing this, what was spurring him on to test the waters like he was a goddamn Olympic swimmer.</p><p>He just hoped he didn't start drowning.</p><p>"I—" Nico pressed himself closer.</p><p>"I've grown up a lot since I left, Percy. I don't really like waiting anymore." Nico used Percy's height by leaning up a bit, the other boy leaned down unconsciously, "So if I make you uncomfortable tell me now or forever hold your peace."</p><p>"I—I don't have a problem with gay people," Percy said, not pushing him away. "My best friend is bi or something."</p><p>"Don't like to label it," Grover inputted with a shrug.</p><p>"See?! And I mean, I…I'm not saying I haven't thought about—I mean you're not making me uncomfortable, you couldn't, I want to make up with you, I want us to be friends again…"</p><p>Nico regarded that for a moment, "What if I want to be more than friends? I'm just going to be here for the Summer, then I'll be out of your life and out of your hair for good. Call it an experiment."</p><p>Percy's eyes were begging Nico to release him, but the way his body was curved against him said otherwise. Besides, Nico wasn't even really holding on that tightly. If Percy just took a step back he could get away. "Nico that's a lot to ask," Percy said finally, scratching at the back of his neck. "I mean I have to think about Annabeth, and I mean, I'm <em>not </em>gay."</p><p>"<em>Gay</em>!" Grover laughed, pretending to be coughing. Percy gave him a glare that could strip flesh from the bone.</p><p>"Well, if you're not gay then there's no use in my trying," Nico shrugged, he released Percy and unlocked the car with the remote, he began to open the door.</p><p>"But that doesn't mean I don't want to be friends!" Percy said, this time he did seize Nico by the wrist. Nico stopped, staring at the hand wrapped around his arm. It radiated so much warmth that it almost made the already unbearable heat outside even more so. Percy made his head spin in such a bad way. But he wasn't that sniveling little boy with a crush anymore. He needed to tell Percy the truth, or at least enough of it to tell his psyche that he had.</p><p>"Can I be real with you Percy?" He asked, stepping back and aborting his dumb fly by the wayside plan of getting Percy to stutter until he agreed to have something—anything—to do with Nico. That caught both the boys across from him off, Grover looked mildly questioning but Percy's expression was one of severe anxiety. He nodded. "We left on bad terms, I know. You kinda broke my heart, really you did and since I've been back I've just sort of been messing with you, but when you say things like that it's hard to be mad about what you said and what you did," He ran a hand through his hair. "I do want us to be friends again, but it'll be hard for me. When I look at you I get a lot of emotions, mainly anger, really. But I'm working on that."</p><p>"Nico I—"</p><p>"Let me finish." Nico said holding up a hand. "So I'm going to continue being flirtatious and I'm gonna keep changing in front of my bedroom window and pretending I don't know both you perverts are watching, and if, at any point in time, you become un-okay with that you let me know. Because it's helping me cope being back here, I haven't thought about…about a lot of the things I think about in California in a while and it's been nice to have a break from my own useless drama."</p><p>"Nico, I'm not uncomfortable with you, or your flirting or any of that." Percy said, and Nico wasn't sure if Percy even got the damn message with those puppy dog eyes of his. "I just want you to be not mad at me anymore, and I want—"</p><p>"Us to be friends again, yeah, I got it." Nico's father came out of the house at about that moment. "We'll talk when I get back." He held up a hand again, he'd almost forgotten how much Percy liked to interrupt. "Yes, I'm still coming over."</p><p>"Well, kid, your Mom got caught on the phone with your sister, so I'm gonna drive you instead," Hades said, moving over to the driver's side and ignoring the two other young men in his driveway. "Keys?" Nico tossed him the keys. "We're almost running late so finish up with the peanut gallery and let's go." Hades ducked into the car and started the engine.</p><p>"You heard him, peanut gallery. I've got to go," He moved to get into the car.</p><p>"Where do you guys go every morning?" Percy asked suddenly. The question was innocent, and said without any noisy sort of inflection, if anything it sounded like a last ditch effort to get a few more minutes with Nico.</p><p>He forced a smile onto his lips, though he was embarrassed now for some reason, "The world may never know." He laughed, ducking into the car so fast he almost got whiplash. Grover waved as he left, and he waved back.</p><p>"So how goes your plan to sleep with Percy?" Hades asked as they pulled out of the drive.</p><p>"Wha—Dad, gross!"</p><p>"Nico, you forced me into a shop that sold things I never should have known existed, you bought condoms and things of that nature. I think I know what you're planning."</p><p>"I'm not planning—"</p><p>"Shouldn't be that hard, I don't think. According to your mother Percy has a crush on you." Nico stopped, and turned to stare at his father.</p><p>"Why would she think that?" He asked.</p><p>Hades shrugged, "Something to do with the way he looks at you when you're not looking at him, she said a lot of stuff. I say go for it, if it fucks with his head that'll teach him, he shouldn't have made my kid cry."</p><p>"You realize what you're giving me permission to do, don't you Dad?" Nico asked, astounded.</p><p>"I do," Hades said noncommittally. "I'm also saying just use a condom, damn it."</p><p>Nico laughed, sitting back in his seat. "And that's where I stop this conversation." Which garnered a chuckle out of his father.</p><p>They sat listening to music the rest of the way to Dr. Kirshbaum's office.</p><hr/><p>"You've been especially cooperative today, Nico." Dr. Kirshbaum noted about thirty minutes into their session. "What's changed?" Since Nico had arrived they had talked about Percy almost nonstop. Nico had caught her up on their childhood together, and was just now getting to the now.</p><p>"I guess because I've let go of my anger, for the most part." Nico replied, even going as far as laying on the Freudian couch. "There's no point in being mad at Percy, or anyone else in my life. Doesn't do a whole lot for my self-confidence, mind you, but I'm not nearly as mad all the time."</p><p>"This is a lot for you to breakthrough in a week," Kirshbaum said, "But, anger is a tool we use, Nico. You don't need to put it down completely. We, as human beings, are entitled to be angry sometimes. It's knowing when to stop being angry that a lot of us have problems with. You've held on to yours for years and I believe it's diminished your sense of self-worth, it's diminished your familial, platonic, and romantic relationships. But, seeing what it's done and doing something about it are two different things." Dr. Kirshbaum crossed her legs, "There's also the matter of knowing who you should really be forgiving."</p><p>"Who is that?" Nico asked. "I mean, I'm not mad at Dad anymore for being away so much, I'm not really mad at Percy anymore for blowing our friendship up, me and Mom have been getting along, and I'm not mad at Bianca."</p><p>"There's still one person I think you're forgetting about," Lupa looked at him with her sharp eyes, her expression so solemn and learned Nico felt as if he were getting a lesson. He sat up completely and looked at her.</p><p>"I don't know who you want me to forgive." Nico told her.</p><p>"I want you to forgive yourself, Nico. A lot of the time when we're angry and we lash out we don't realize who that anger is truly directed at, and a greater deal of the time it's directed at none other than ourselves. You were angry at Percy yes, but what I've gathered is you were more angry at yourself for not being in your own eyes "good enough" to sway him to like you. Which has led you down this path of self-destructive behavior. You're angry at yourself for being unable to express your feelings in any other form but the cuts on your body, the pills you take, the binge drinking, or the meaningless sex you have. You're angry at yourself for not being able to fulfill the one relationship you ever truly wanted, with Percy, and because you are so young it has yet to occur to you that there are billions of other people out there. You've been so singularly focused on Percy that it's made your quality of life go down, the men you date, the way you treat yourself, and that in turn has made you, once again, angry at you."</p><p>Nico wasn't sure if he liked the words coming out of the good doctor's mouth but they obviously had some form of truth in them because he was starting to feel defensive.</p><p>"I have another exercise for you," She said, looking at her watch, forty-five minutes had gone by. "You won't come in for a week, and then after that you'll only come in once a week until I deem you so ready to be quit of me. During your first week away I want you to try to list all the ways you've intentionally self-harmed, and why. And I'm thrilled to hear you and Percy have become grudging friends again, but the exercise was to really let him in on what you feel he did to you. So you must also tell him exactly how you've felt since your time apart."</p><p>Nico sighed heavily, "Jesus, is that <em>all </em>I have to do?"</p><p>"For now, yes." Lupa smiled her wolfish grin and stood, "And would you look at that, we only have ten minutes to spare, almost made it the entire hour. You are dismissed, Mr. di Angelo, unless there's something else you want to talk about?"</p><p>"Nah," Nico stood "I'm good, actually, doc. Thanks." He made his way out of her office. He wouldn't admit it, but he didn't completely hate this visit; though the fact that Dr. Kirshbaum was cutting him down to weekly visits didn't sit right with him. That meant less sessions, which meant more time here with little in-between to do.</p><p>"You look kinda happy," Carter said, today his scrubs featured The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Nico smirked at that but decided against pointing them out.</p><p>"I'm in a relatively good mood," He replied, "which has been kind of a common thing these past few days. Don't know if I like it too much." Carter smiled and briefly touched Nico's arm, but upon thought pulled it back.</p><p>"Well that's good, I keep telling you you should be happy."</p><p>Nico shook his head a little, his expression amused, "If only it worked like that." He said with a shrug. A girl, not much younger than Nico, wandered up behind Carter. She was caring a bag with what looked like take-out in it though Nico couldn't make out what type of food it was.</p><p>"Brother, dear," She said with a smile eerily reminiscent of Carter's though the two were exact opposites. Her skin was more of a tan whereas Carter's was oaken, not to mention her hair was dirty blonde with blue streaks. Nico noted that her eyes were also blue, but the resemblance between them, on further inspection, couldn't be mistaken; especially since Nico had seen a much younger version of this girl in the picture behind Carter's desk.</p><p>"Sadie, you brought my lunch." Carter grinned, eying the food like a starving man.</p><p>"Nineteen dollars fifty this ran me," She rolled her eyes, her accent was that of an Briton who had been in America too long, slightly diffused but still clinging to just enough vowels that anyone who listened to her immediately knew she wasn't from anywhere around. "I expect you'll pay me back?"</p><p>"Sadie, you bought lunch for me, you, and Dad, are you gonna make Dad pay you back?" Carter asked her skeptically. She gave him a bold smirk.</p><p>"I might just. He's at the museum, a colleague of his came into town today: Desjardin, I don't like him. Looks shifty to me." She looked like she had more to say, but her eyes fell on Nico. "Who's he?"</p><p>"Sadie, don't point. It's rude." Carter chided.</p><p>Sadie pulled a face, "Stuff it, you're actually talking to a boy? Are you gay?"</p><p>"Sadie—!"</p><p>"I am, yeah," Nico laughed. "Though your brother and I are just friends. I'm Nico."</p><p>"Sadie Kane, I'm sure Carter's told you all about me." She extended her free hand and Nico shook it. "Shame though, my brother could use a good shag after what he's been through. His girlfriend left him, did he tell you that?"</p><p>"SADIE—!"</p><p>Nico wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel bad for Carter, who looked as if he was choking, "He did, he's pretty banged up about it, you should be a little easier on him." He said, still snickering a bit.</p><p>"We've been tiptoeing around his mopey arse for a long time now, weeks she's been gone, I told Carter I didn't like her, but he didn't listen to me, now look at the state of him." She glanced over at her brother with a harsh eye, giving him a good up and down, then she turned back to Nico, "How old are you anyway? Little young for him."</p><p>Nico full on laughed now, he liked Sadie. "Sixteen, seventeen in a few weeks,"</p><p>"Carter!" Sadie hit her brother's shoulder with an open palm. "He's not even bloody legal here! They'll put you away for that."</p><p>"Why does everyone think we're hooking up!?" Carter nearly cried out from his sister's assault. "We're just friends, really. Sadie, stop, just friends, get it?"</p><p>"Just friends, that's what all you blokes say. Just friends, you know what Walt calls me? His good friend, and he and I have gotten well past third! I know what 'just friends' means Carter Kane." She slapped at his arm again.</p><p>"He's actually telling the truth this time." Nico laughed, "I tried to kiss him and he stopped me."</p><p>Sadie rolled her eye, "Why the hell would you do that, Carter?"</p><p>"Wait, what?" Carter asked, holding his arms up in defense. "So I can't hook up with him, but I can't deny his advances either?"</p><p>"I didn't know <em>he </em>liked <em>you</em>. It's different." Sadie handed him the food and then turned her attention back to Nico. "My brother can be an idiot, but I'm sure you've already gathered that much." She said, hooking her arm through his. "Nico? I'm sure he's mentioned you once in passing." She thought about it. "Oh! You're the one he took to Uncle Amos' club yesterday. I thought he was quite taken with you, it seems I was wrong."</p><p>"It's okay, really. There's are other boys." Nico said, grinning at her. She was almost his height, and when she mirrored his grin Nico decided he liked her even more.</p><p>"Too true." She said letting him go. "Well you keep my brother in line, I've really got to run. Dad is probably hungrier than you, he skipped breakfast this morning to get ready for his little "play date" with the shifty garden bloke."</p><p>"Garden—what…what are you talking about Sadie?" Carter asked.</p><p>"He's French, brother dear, please keep up. Desjardins means gardens in French. Really you're supposed to be college educated." Nico smirked again, this girl really had no sympathy for her brother. It was almost cute, their dynamic. Carter looked, not for the first time since Sadie's rather quick appearance, flustered. "Either way," She took the bag back from him and handed him a box. "I have to rush, being smushed between two smelly people on the tube isn't my idea of transit, but I've got to get to the museum so our father can eat."</p><p>"I'll drive you, it's my lunch break anyway." Carter told her, the hint of a smile touched Sadie's lips before it dropped away.</p><p>"Just don't drive like Gran, like you usually do, and I won't object. Nico, it was nice to meet you."</p><p>"I'll text you soon, okay Nico?" Carter asked, Nico nodded.</p><p>"Yeah, that's cool. Bye guys." He said with a smile, he watched them walk away, Sadie talking a thousand words a minute and Carter inputting where he could. Seeing Sadie made him miss Bianca. He decided he would have to call her soon. Turning he looked for his father and found him sitting in the waiting room with his eyes trained on his phone screen. He walked over to him.</p><p>"You ready to go?" He asked.</p><p>"Yes," Hades said standing though his eyes didn't move from his screen. "For the last half an hour I've been trying to figure out why these birds are so upset, I've decided if I was flinging myself at structures in some last ditch effort to overthrow pig oppressors I wouldn't be too happy."</p><p>Nico laughed, "Are you playing Angry Birds?" His father nodded. "You're so weird sometimes." He said, and in a very uncharacteristic move ruffled his son's hair.</p><p>"Where do you think you get it from?" He replied with a dark smirk. "Come on, I need to get you back to your date with Percy."</p><p>"Dad, it's not a date. He just wants to be friends." Nico said.</p><p>Hades rolled his eyes, "Nico, son, you're young. You're not going to be young forever. I've got a nineteen-year-old daughter and sixteen-year-old son. Believe me kid I still feel like I should be twenty and definitely not forty-five. I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and there's a completely different person staring back at me. Take my wisdom now while I can still give it: youth doesn't last forever, so, please, for the love of us all go have a date with Percy Jackson." Nico smirked as his father walked him out of the building.</p><p>"I'll try." He said. "You think it's a good idea?"</p><p>"Probably not, but hell good ideas are usually born out of bad situations." Hades replied with a shrug. "Now, help me avenge these poor avian creatures." He handed Nico his phone.</p><hr/><p>Nico found himself checking his reflection in the car mirror. They were only a few blocks away from the house. Hades watched his son out of the corner of his eye with a small, shadowy smirk. He had been on his phone nonstop, no doubt texting Percy.</p><p>"Not a date, huh?" Hades asked with a knowing chuckle.</p><p>"I check my reflection all the time," Nico replied back icily. They pulled up to the drive, '<em>And wouldn't you know it</em>, <em>they're waiting on the front steps.</em>' Hades thought, shaking his head a bit at the eagerness of youth. Sometimes he missed it.</p><p>"Well," He said, turning the car off. "you're still grounded, so be back home before dark."</p><p>Nico made an incredulous face, "They're right next door!" He said, unbelievingly, "you can literally walk twenty steps and be where I am."</p><p>"And I will be there if you're not home before dark," Hades replied in a fatherly voice, but his expression softened. "You're doing good with your therapy though, so I may think about lifting your grounding prematurely." Nico's eyes lit up and Hades held up a finger, "<em>May</em>, Nico. Don't get too excited."</p><p>"I'll be super grateful if you do!" Nico said in a voice that was <em>not </em>sing-song.</p><p>Hades rolled his eyes, "Get out of here before I extend your sentence, I'll tell your mother where you've gone." Nico could have kissed his father, instead he said a quick thanks and was out of the car like a kid on his first day to camp, excited but with trepidations. He counted his steps as he walked, there were twenty-five. Percy's house was twenty-five paces away from his. Just twenty-five paces.</p><p>He didn't realize he was sweating until he was standing at the bottom of the stairs, Grover was sitting on the bottom most and Percy was sitting at the top. "Hey, stranger." Grover said with a grin that wasn't unattractive. Nico couldn't really help but smile back a little, he was nervous. He hadn't spent time with Percy as friends in a while. The day before yesterday he had almost hated his guts and today they were giving it another shot.</p><p>"Hi," He replied, but it wasn't until his eyes landed on Percy that his heart did the stutter. Percy's eyes never truly decided on a color to be, he decided. Most often they were a strange aquamarine, more blue than green, in the right light they were hazel, and sometimes they even looked brown. But today they were clear as crystals, an unclouded sort of baby blue. Nico didn't trust his voice.</p><p>"Did you have a good…whatever it is you do?" Percy asked, looking slightly uncomfortable at the attention. Nico blinked and tried his best not to look like he'd be struck blind, deaf, and dumb all at once.</p><p>"Y-yeah, it was alright." He said, shrugging like it wasn't that big a deal.</p><p>"You ever going to tell us what you do so early in the morning?" Grover asked. Nico looked at him and regained his composure, adding an air of aloofness to his voice.</p><p>"Probably not, it's need to know only." He smirked, taking a seat across from the lanky young man at the bottom of the steps. He looked in the driveway. "Where's Sally?"</p><p>"She and Paul stepped out for the day," Percy said with a smile. "They'll be back pretty late."</p><p>"Soon as they heard you were coming over they cleared out, after some totally-not-begging from their son." Grover added. Percy kicked him.</p><p>"They're having a date night, Grover's just an ass." Percy glared.</p><p>"But what an ass," Grover winked, standing. "We've got Injustice on pause upstairs, which really is a sin. I think if you look in the Bible it totally says: 'Thou shalt not pause games you've only had for a few hours'. That's somewhere in Leviticus, pretty sure." Nico laughed.</p><p>"Lead the way then." And he followed them into a house he hadn't set foot in in two years.</p><p>The furniture was the same, the carpet was the same, a lot of the things on the wall were the same, but Nico noticed right off that all the pictures of Don had been taken down. There was no evidence that Percy's father had been in this house in a long time. Everything that had once scream "Poseidon" now screamed "Paul" and no matter how much Nico looked around he couldn't even picture Don living here.</p><p>"You ever talk to your dad?" Nico asked as Percy closed the door. Percy looked at him, and his eyes were still so blue.</p><p>"Sometimes," He said with a shrug. "Not really, we stopped hearing from him when I turned eighteen and the child support checks stopped coming in. I get a present for my birthday and for Christmas, but I haven't seen him since—" <em>I sent you away</em>. The words were on his lips but he stopped them dead in his throat. "I haven't seen him in a while."</p><p>Nico nodded, unsure if he had brought up a sensitive topic. "I didn't mean to—I shouldn't have asked." He said.</p><p>Percy shrugged, "Nah, it's cool. I would've asked the same thing. My Dad's kind of a dick, it happens." Grover had already gone up the stairs, and Nico could hear the game playing loudly.</p><p>"I—uh, I missed this place." He said, looking around again. "I used to be here every day."</p><p>"Mom says you were my shadow," Percy said with a smile. "It's not been the same without you." Nico was taken aback by that. "You know, in my head I've rehearsed what I would say to you if I got to see you again, even if it was just for five minutes. I fucked up my second first impression pretty bad, made an ass out of myself. But, that seems to be my specialty. I swim like a fish and make an ass out of myself, my two talents."</p><p>This was as genuine as Percy had been since Nico had come back, well as genuine as he had been sober.</p><p>"I've thought about it a lot too." Nico found himself admitting. And here, with just the two of them, standing in the foyer with no other ears around he found that he wasn't embarrassed.</p><p>Percy gave him a strained kind of smile, "I'll bet you had some pretty choice words," He chuckled. "I'm so willing to let you just beat my ass until you're satisfied."</p><p>"PHRASING!" Grover yelled down the stairs. Well, maybe the game wasn't as loud as they thought it was.</p><p>"Do you want to talk in the living room?" Percy asked, casting a black glance towards his bedroom. Nico nodded and followed behind him, and it kind of felt like old times. He had been so familiar with Percy's back, with his step, that he could have picked him out all the way across the schoolyard. Now it was longer, the footfalls more assured, Percy had grown up so much. "Have a seat," Percy sat on the couch, and in a bold move Nico sat beside him at the opposite arm. He put his back against said arm and pulled his knees up to his chest. He stared at Percy over his knees. "Mom would kill you if she saw you with your shoes on the couch." Percy laughed, Nico had forgotten how much he truly liked the sound of it. Quickly he unshod his feet and resumed his position, feeling unashamed in his staring.</p><p>He wasn't the only one from the look of it, Percy either couldn't or wouldn't look away from him. "Look," He began again. "I know I've tried this, but I have to put it all out there for real this time. Nico, you don't know how fucking sorry I am for driving you away, for not being understanding the <em>one </em>time you needed me to be. I was such a shitty friend, and I panicked because I'd never been in a situation like that before. You were the first boy to ever—" He paused. "Kiss me. First and only. And you were shaking so much and crying that it scared me more than it should have. I just didn't understand, and if there's a God I pray that He can show you how sorry I am. I just…I can't even put it to words.</p><p>"When I lost you it was like losing a part of myself. I just sort of wandered around, kind of helpless for a long time. I missed you snaggle-toothed smile in the lunch room, missed you tutoring me even though I was a grade higher than you. Guess what? I failed tenth grade the year before last so unless you've graduated already we're in the same grade now." Percy put his head in his hands. "Jesus, you leaving messed me up so bad. I almost had to go to counseling, the school fucking thought someone had died." He laughed. "But it kind of felt like that, like you had died and I just couldn't believe it."</p><p>Nico wanted to tell him then and there that he <em>was </em>in counseling, but he abstained. He let Percy go on.</p><p>"Then I met Annabeth, and I don't know, she's kind of like a whirlwind made of math and science and lips and legs. She helped me straighten out my grades, and then that sort of turned into something else. Then one day she asked me if she was my girlfriend and I told her yeah, and that's how we got together. Then I got on the swim team, and the track team, and a whole bunch of other teams and I started getting popular, but it felt like no one ever knew me as good as <em>you </em>knew me. No one ever cared enough, not like you cared. No one could fill the place in me where you used to be, not even Grover. And I'm only telling you this because I still think you're that guy, I still want to believe that I can tell you anything and you'll understand and not make fun of me. I'm only telling you all of this because I've always felt like I could tell you anything.</p><p>"I know I hurt you, Nico. I hurt you deep and I hurt you bad. I could tell because the first time you looked at me I just wanted to die. Now that you're here, now that you're really here I can't stand the idea of you ever being mad at me again." Tears were welling in Percy's eyes and Nico watched like a man hypnotized, that deep baby-blue color was becoming surrounded by an ocean of red. "I'm so fucking sorry. For real. I—" Percy actually choked. "I'm sorry, Nico."</p><p>Nico couldn't control his body, he was up on the couch, and then he was wrapped around Percy. His arms were made of a vice grip, and he could smell Percy deep in his nose and feel the heat rolling of him that told the world that he was alive, could hear his breaths labored from trying not to cry, and he melted into Percy.</p><p>"I forgive you, Percy." He said with so much conviction. "I forgive you." Then Percy was hugging him back fiercely. It didn't matter that they were two nearly grown boys embracing on the couch, it didn't matter that Nico was soothingly running his hands through Percy's hair or that Percy was openly crying. None of that mattered to either of them, not at that moment and not ever. Because Percy was right, even after everything, after two years, after all the heartbreak unknowingly caused Nico was the person he could tell anything to.</p><p>Finally Percy stopped, his eyes still wet, but there was a small smile on his face. "Dude," He laughed, tears spilling out of his eyes slowly. "I soaked your shirt." Nico looked down at his shirt, then at Percy.</p><p>"It's okay." He said, his hands coming up to wipe tears off of Percy's face. He smiled when Percy leaned into his touch. "I don't mind at all." He said with a dark smile that reminded Percy of home. The next thing Nico knew there was a hand on his face as well, and then there were lips against his lips, and he sat there, rigid and unmoving as Percy closed the space off between them. If Percy noticed the stiffness in Nico he pretended not to because he deepened the kiss, his lips like soft whispers against Nico's face. "Percy…" Nico's voice was low and unsteady. But he couldn't speak much longer as Percy's mouth was over his again.</p><p>Nico couldn't help it, he fell prey to those searching lips and he kissed him back. He kissed Percy like he hadn't seen him in a lifetime, his a much rougher touch than his counterpart's. His hands snaked into Percy's hair like he had dreamt of doing for so long, their bodies meshed together as one, Percy almost completely between his knees as Nico was slowly pushed back onto the couch.</p><p>Nico's heart stuttered, and reality came crashing back down around him like a bad accident. It slammed into his brain hard and fast and all at once. "Percy!" He nearly screamed, pushing Percy off of him. "Fuck! No, we're making up. You're straight, you've got a girlfriend. No!" Nico's eyes were wide and he was worriedly running his hands through his hair. "Fuck! I ruined everything, we were doing so good."</p><p>Percy looked almost as surprised as Nico did, but that could have been the fact that the younger boy had pushed him off of the couch completely. He stared up at Nico with wet eyes and a puffy mouth.</p><p>Said mouth worked but no words came out for a long time, "Sorry." He said again. "I'm sorry. I—that's another thing I've been wanting to do ever since you left. I should have asked." He shook his head. "I'm such a fucking idiot."</p><p>"No, Percy, it's my fault. I've been trying to get you to do that since I got back. I <em>wanted </em>you to. God, all of my boyfriends have been jealous of you. I shouldn't have been—I don't know, but I did this. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Nico I <em>wanted </em>to kiss you." Percy said getting up off of the floor.</p><p>"No, your emotions were high, you don't know what you want." Nico replied, feeling his own eyes prickling with tears. "Fifteen fucking minutes and I'm trying to stick my tongue down your throat. Dr. Kirshbaum is going to have a field day with this."</p><p>"Dr. Kirshbaum?" Percy blinked, his eyes were slowly losing their teary quality.</p><p>Nico pulled at his hair, "My fucking psychologist—therapist. Whatever the fuck she is. I've been going to her since I came up, it's the whole reason I'm even in New York. We talk about you a lot, and about my other problems."</p><p>"Problems?" Nico was beginning to think Percy was just parroting him.</p><p>"Percy you're not the only person who's been a mess. I fucked my whole life over, alright? Drugs and guys that are <em>so </em>bad for me and fucking just lying about everything. It's gotten to the point that I do it without even realizing it anymore until after the fact." Nico growled in frustration. "God fucking damn it!" He shouted. "I didn't want you to find out like this."</p><p>"Nico it's okay." Percy was on the couch again. "It's okay." He had Nico in his arms again and Nico tried to pull away, but he couldn't, not really. Percy was like the world's strongest magnet and he didn't know if he even wanted to get away. He had always, since he could remember, always wanted to be in these arms like this.</p><p>"Two years is too fucking long to hold onto a crush," Nico said, near sobbing.</p><p>"You're telling me." Percy spoke back into his ear. Nico raised his head.</p><p>He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He had to force himself to speak, "What?"</p><p>"Nico I told you I wanted to kiss you." Percy said, his eyes belaying that he was not joking. "I've been wanting to kiss you since you left. I said that. I want to kiss you again. I want to touch you. God how I've wanted to touch you. I've had it buried inside for a long time, and I've been trying not to think about it, and I've been distracting myself with girls but <em>FUCK</em> you're always there, in my head. When I'm…pleasuring myself, when Annabeth is doing it, you're always there. So this isn't your fault. It's mine for wanting everything."</p><p>Nico finally pulled away. "That's…this is a lot to take in." He said, but his heart was suddenly elated, it was pumping fast and his fingertips felt like they had lightning coursing through them.</p><p>"I know. I wanted to do this gradually because I like Annabeth. I like her a hell of a lot, she's been there for me for a long time. But then there's you," Percy grabbed Nico by the face and his expression was so sincere that Nico forgot about his worries, even if it was just a second. "and you've always been perfect."</p><p>"Far from it." Nico said quietly. "I'm so fucked up, Percy—" But Percy's hold on his face tightened.</p><p>"Perfect." Percy said again. "It's hard for me, and Grover's been trying to help me through it. I don't know what to do in this situation. Either way I'm going to end up hurting someone I care about." And even then all Nico wanted to say was, <em>'You care about me? Still?</em>' But he didn't. He leaned in and kissed Percy lightly on the lips, for a fraction of a second and his stomach did a somersault that kicked his heart into his throat.</p><p>"Can we just…play it by ear? I can handle being rejected, I'm only here for a few months anyway, so maybe we can just…just not try too hard? But still be something?"</p><p>"Like friends with benefits?" Percy asked. "I couldn't—I can't cheat on Annabeth like that."</p><p>"No," Nico said. "No I wouldn't want you to. I never want to be that other person. I mean, we'll do the whole "friends" deal, but maybe, more than friends? I mean you've got to admit we've always been a little more than friends, in my head anyway."</p><p>Percy watched Nico, and his expression was so genuine and fragile that he couldn't say no to that. "Okay." He said. "We'll try. I'll try."</p><p>"You have to tell Annabeth." Nico said first and foremost. "I won't make someone else cheat. I've been cheated on and it doesn't feel good."</p><p>"I—" Percy looked as if he were about to shut Nico out, but at the last moment he met the other young man's eyes. "It's gonna take some time, but I can do that too." Nico gave him a tentative smile. "In the mean time we've got a lot to catch up on."</p><p>Nico nodded, "Yeah, we do. Can it wait though? I've been in a therapist's office for almost an hour today and I just don't want to do it all over again, plus after all that I'm emotionally exhausted."</p><p>Percy nodded, "Okay, we'll talk about it some other time. We'll talk about everything soon." He gave Nico's hand a reassuring squeeze. "We'd better get upstairs or Grover's going to think we're up to something."</p><p>Nico found himself chuckling, "I'm pretty sure he already thinks we're up to something." Percy smiled at that.</p><p>"Yeah, you're right." He stood, still holding on to Nico's hand. "Come on anyway though,"</p><p>Nico followed behind Percy feeling a mix of emotions: terror, anxiety, gut-wrenching fear, and joy. He had never had a good track record for these sorts of things and now he was just hoping that just this once, just <em>this </em>once the universe wouldn't fuck him over.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico brought the joint up to his lips, it was almost done and Grover seemed to be loathe to roll another one. "I gotta smoke tomorrow, man." He said with a dimpled smile, his head lolling slightly. Of course, the entire time Nico and Percy had been downstairs Grover had been simultaneously playing and smoking, meaning he was much more inebriated than either of them. Nico held the smoke in his lungs and then looked over at Percy with a grin and blew a smoke ring, then another one through it.</p><p>"Fuck," Percy said, watching the dissipating rings. "do that again."</p><p>"It's puff, puff, pass not puff, puff, puff," Grover said grabbing the joint out of Nico's hand. "But," He said inhaling, then he blew a bigger smoke ring and several smaller ones through it. "Ta-da." He laughed, smoke still pouring out of his mouth. He passed it to Percy, who hadn't really been smoking but mostly watching the exchange between his old best friend and his new best friend, who seemed to get on rather well; he joined in every now and then. "You gonna hit that or just look at it, brother?" Grover asked, eyes glassed and brow raised. Nico laughed.</p><p>"I don't think he likes it," He said, trying to hold down his giggles. Percy wasn't <em>high </em>per se, but he was definitely feeling it starting to take hold. "Here, let me try something." Nico grabbed the joint, and in one quick move he was straddling Percy's lap. Grover's eyebrow rose higher and he watched with his smirk turning into quite an amused smile. Percy looked at Nico with unsure eyes. "Relax, just inhale when I blow, okay?"</p><p>It took a moment but Percy nodded. Nico took a hit, then he grabbed Percy by the back of the neck and touched their lips together in what would have been an open mouthed kiss had he gone any closer. He blew directly into Percy's mouth, their eyes never breaking gaze, and after a moment Percy inhaled. Nico did it again and then passed what was left to Grover.</p><p>Percy was coughing by the time Nico got off of his lap, "What was that?" He asked, holding his chest tightly.</p><p>"It's called Shotgunning, Perseus," Nico replied.</p><p>"You're a fucking champion, Nico." Grover laughed.</p><p>"I do try," Nico said, leaning heavily against Percy. Grover was seated in a chair beside the bed and Nico along with the aforementioned Perseus were on the bed itself. He looked at the aquamarine eyed boy, "Was that so bad?"</p><p>"You shouldn't have gotten in my lap." Percy replied, his hands were covering something very obvious in his pants. Grover laughed so hard smoke came out of both his nose and mouth unintentionally, he coughed but couldn't seem to stop laughing.</p><p>Nico laughed too, "I'm flattered, Percy." He said with a grin, surreptitiously eyeing the bulge his compatriot was trying hard to cover. "Did you know," He began turning his vision to Grover, "that fucking while you're high is literally the best thing in the world? Like, fuck all other kinds of sex. You've never gotten laid properly till you were high."</p><p>"I don't know, brother." Grover said. "I mean, I get high a lot. A lot, mind you. But if I know I'm doing shit I try to stay coherent till…" He stopped and looked around, then he blinked. "…fuck, the lights are dancing." He looked around, suddenly lost in thought, but it seemed to come back to him a moment later. "You know?"</p><p>Nico shrugged, "Guess everyone's different," He turned back to Percy. "What do you think? What's the best sex you've ever had?"</p><p>Grover chuckled, "Are you for real? Percy's a virgin,"</p><p>"No." Nico said disbelievingly, "There is no fucking way." It might have been the weed affecting him but Percy just shrugged. "Percy you're like fucking sex on legs, how does that even happen?"</p><p>"Truthfully?" Percy asked, his head lolling a bit to look at Nico. "It's hard to be with Annabeth sometimes 'cause I know I should want to bang her, but I just really like being her friend, you know? Kissing her is nice, and she gives me BJs and stuff, but I've never really wanted to…go all the way with her. Not really."</p><p>"I'll never know how I didn't figure out you were gay," Grover laughed, his eyes still looking around for dancing lights. "You're so fucking gay, man."</p><p>"Grover, this is a delicate process," Nico laughed, his hand on Percy's chest now. He could feel hard-worked-for muscle and he trailed his hand a little further down before Percy caught his wrist.</p><p>"Whoa there, Nico." Percy laughed, then giggled. Nico blinked.</p><p>"Sorry," He said scooting away from Percy. "I'm fucking horny. I broke up with my boyfriend before I left and I haven't gotten laid in, like, two weeks."</p><p>"That must be so difficult for you,"</p><p>"Hey, you're a virgin, can't miss something you never had." Nico laughed.</p><p>Percy laughed, "Well, Annabeth and me are supposed to be going all the way this weekend, so I guess that won't mater much longer…" He stopped himself when he realized what he'd said. Nico didn't look upset, but it was always hard to tell with him and really right now everything just sort of looked awesome. There was no other way to describe it, Percy was trying his hardest not to get distracted by the flashing 'standby' light on his desktop's power button.</p><p>"I guess not," Nico replied after a moment. "I hope you can at least last longer than three seconds." Grover laughed again, squishing the cherry of his joint between his thumb and forefinger.</p><p>"Nico, brother, you're a fucking riot."</p><p>Percy had gone red in the face.</p><p>"I was kidding, Percy." Nico elbowed him. "That does put a damper on the whole "us" thing though, doesn't it? Fuck, man, we didn't even get this thing up off of the ground."</p><p>"Hey, hey, hey," Grover held up his hands, "just cause my bro is getting a little nookie doesn't mean you guys can't try to work this out, brother. Percy just has to promise to keep his dick clean, yeah? Never go in without a Jimmy."</p><p>"A Jimmy?" Percy asked.</p><p>"That's the cool kid's way of saying a condom," Nico laughed, "Grover do people even still call them Jimmies?"</p><p>"That's what my Dad called 'em, that's what I'm gonna call them, that's what my son's gonna call 'em." Grover replied. "This whole thing though, you don't think Annabeth is still gonna want to go through with that if she knows you're sucking face with Nico?"</p><p>"Annabeth is an understanding girl," Percy said, but his tone said otherwise and there was no way in his state of mind that he could mask the lie in his voice. "After I tell her she'll probably be totally cool with it. We've been together for a while, and she knows I don't want to hurt her."</p><p>"You <em>are</em> going to tell her, right?" Nico asked. "If you don't I'll be fucking pissed and punch you in the face, you said I could."</p><p>"I'll hold his face." Grover added helpfully.</p><p>"Yes, geez! I'm going to tell her, I just don't know when I can, she's always super busy."</p><p>"Never too busy to give you a blowjob," Grover whispered quite loudly. Nico collapsed in a fit of giggles and Percy couldn't help his own chuckling even if he wanted to glare at Grover. When the fit was over between the three of them Grover stood.</p><p>"I'm fucking starving, Perce. I'm gonna go raid your fridge, you guys coming or do you want to stay up here and pretend like I don't know you're making out?"</p><p>"We'll stay up here," Nico answered for both of them. Grover shrugged and walked out of the door. "Bring me a sandwich though! And some chips! And a beer if Paul has any."</p><p>"One triple decker chipper dipper sandwich coming up," Grover grinned, leaning against the door frame. "Fuck, say that five times fast. Triple dicker depper flicker, truckle duckle fucker clipper. Fuck, man." Grover laughed again and then he was gone, being pulled away by his hunger.</p><p>"Sandwich is a funny word," Nico laughed, crawling back into Percy's lap. "Think about it? A witch made of sand, how the fuck do you even come up with a name like that? But it's fucking perfect for describing meat between two pieces of bread."</p><p>Percy was watching Nico with half lidded eyes, "Is it true?" He asked.</p><p>"Fuck yeah it's true!" Nico said. "But, I mean you can use sandwich to mean more than just a fucking sandwich, right? Because you can get sandwiched between shit, which is just fucking brilliant because it's like saying you're a sandwich in a sandwich. It's sandwichception, Percy. And the word gets weird if you say it a lot, say it: sandwich, sandwich, sandwich."</p><p>"No, no, not that," Percy said, he brought his hands up to rest on Nico's waist. "Like, sex? Is it better when you're high?" Nico eyes trailed across Percy's face, over his questioning expression, and then landed on his skin colored lips. They were chapped.</p><p>"I've got some lip balm you could borrow," He said leaning in and kissing Percy. "Fuck, I like doing that."</p><p>"Nico you didn't answer my question," Percy said quietly, but Nico was biting his neck now. Percy's hand reached up further until it was running through Nico's long, black hair. "<em>Fuck</em>." He gasped as Nico bit down on a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves.</p><p>"I've had sober sex, I've had drunken sex, but my favorite has been getting fucked up on something and then just doing it," Nico finally answered, his hands roaming over Percy's chest. "Fucking hell, Percy. Why do you have to look so good?"</p><p>"Me?" Percy asked, but Nico leaned in and nipped at his bottom lip. "Nico I've been trying hard not to beat off to you fucking stripping in front of my window these past two days. I almost didn't care that Grover was here this morning."</p><p>"That's an image," Nico grinned, Percy's fingers were running under his shirt now. "You and Grover giving each other a hand. I might actually enjoy watching that."</p><p>"Yeah, that's not gonna happen," Percy replied, Nico's skin was smooth for the most part, but there were small abrasions that kept bumping his fingers as he ran them up and down. "What is this?" He lifted Nico's shirt a little, the sight made his eyes visibly bug. "Nico what happened?"</p><p>Nico sat still on top of Percy, "Don't worry about it," He said, grabbing Percy's hand and resting them on his backside. "See? All gone." He ground down and Percy moaned a little.</p><p>"Grover said you were gonna try to 'revenge bang' me." Percy said, distracted now, thoughts of whatever it was that had happened to Nico pushed out of his mind.</p><p>"He was right," Nico smirked, putting his forehead against Percy's. "I'm like a villain and you're a little damsel in distress, I'm gonna take sweet justice by fucking your brains out."</p><p>"Is it really revenge if I enjoy it?" Percy wondered, Nico just laughed.</p><p>"I may have forgiven you, Percy, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking for some way to one up what you did to me. An ass beating wouldn't be subtle enough, and it'd be over too quickly. So just be on the lookout for this." Nico's hips rolled sinfully and he could feel Percy's instant reaction swell to life underneath him. He grinned, Percy had something to be proud of, that was for sure.</p><p>"God, this sounds like it's going to be a healthy relationship." Grover's voice made Nico jump. He turned and Grover had a huge sandwich on a plate, there were at least four different types of meat on it.</p><p>Nico dismounted Percy against, "I don't even know what a healthy relationship is." He replied, earning a laugh from the food toting young man. Grover handed him the plate. "You forgot the chips."</p><p>"Take a bite," Grover grinned, and Nico did. There was the telltale crunch of chips and Nico almost went catatonic with inebriated joy. "Percy, tell your mom your out of deli meat. And bread. And chips." Percy sighed and let his head hit the pillow.</p><p>Nico took another bite, "This is the best goddamn thing I've ever eaten," He said with a mouthful before he dug in again. From his other arm Grover produced three beers. He handed one to Percy, put one on the table for himself, and handed one to Nico.</p><p>"You're not high enough if you're not hungry, brother," Grover laughed, eyeing what he'd made Nico even though he'd scarfed down something similar in the kitchen a few minutes before hand.</p><p>Two, actually.</p><p>"I'm good," Percy said. "You were right; Nico says he's gonna revenge bang me."</p><p>"I am," Nico said with a mouthful so it sounded like, "Eye yam,"</p><p>"Fuck yeah, dude. Percy's gonna be getting so much tail this Summer he's not gonna know what to do with himself." Grover laughed. "I'd be jealous if I weren't getting it on a regular basis." Nico finished off his plate in two more bites.</p><p>"God I need a fucking cigarette. I don't think I've had one since I've been here," Was Nico's answer.</p><p>"Smoking's bad for you," Percy replied, but his eyes seemed to be getting heavier and his head was nodding. He still had an arm around Nico's waist, and his fingers were resting on Nico's crotch, but Nico was far too invested in chewing to make the connection.</p><p>"Don't you fucking pass out, Percy. That's a waste of fucking weed." Grover elbowed him, but to no avail, Percy was slowly drifting out of consciousness.</p><p>Before he was gone completely he muttered something, and neither Grover nor Nico was sure if they heard it correctly but it sounded awfully close to, "…blowjob." Then he tugged and Nico knew instantly what he'd said.</p><hr/><p>Annabeth and Reyna were probably too similar to be such close friends. They were competitive, they were smart, and quick witted, and on top of all that they were beautiful girls.</p><p>Reyna didn't necessarily believe in conventional beauty, she didn't wear make-up unless there was an extreme cause for it and the only time Annabeth had seen her in a dress was when she had had to attend her grandmother's funeral. But, she loved the way she looked, she was confident in herself, and that is what made her truly beautiful.</p><p>Annabeth was also loathe to wearing dresses, truthfully. She didn't hate them, but being in the lab ruined things pretty quickly. Oil wasn't a stain that came out easily, or really any substance found in her class labs. Every single chemical or liquid seemed to be made just for the purpose of staining her clothing so she had learned early on: wear your hair back out of your eyes and as far away from your work station as possible, wear breathable material, and jeans are your best friend. Plus, shoes with rubber soles were mandatory in most classes.</p><p>And though they were so similar appearance wise they were night and day. Reyna had dark, straight hair and her skin held a permanent sort of tan to it. Annabeth on the other hand had blonde hair that curled towards the end that was, on most days, unmanageable; another good reason to wear her hair in a ponytail. Her skin was milky, but she tanned well when she stayed out in the sun too long.</p><p>They had met in the ninth grade and had instantly hated each other. Reyna had seen Annabeth as a vainglorious little know-it-all and Annabeth's thought ran more towards the words "comely looking, second-place wannabe." But, one day in the middle of their tenth grade year their Physical Science teacher Mr. Brunner had forced them to work together on a project. Now Annabeth hardly went a day without talking to her, and they annoyed each other, and more often than not their discussions turned into semi-debates, but Annabeth couldn't ask for a better person to keep her grounded, or to spend time with, actually.</p><p>She had grown to immensely enjoy being in Reyna's company, it was a comfort for her. Reyna, being the more calm of the two, though the quicker to anger—they were both rather quick to anger, actually—kind of kept Annabeth grounded, much like the rubber soles on her shoes.</p><p>Of course, when it was all said and done they usually left school things in school, except for homework which, you guessed it, was brought home. Their conversations weren't all about protons and neutrons and atoms, or animal behavior, or lengthy discussions on nearly extinct indigenous tribes.</p><p>What Annabeth liked best about Reyna (and Percy) was that among all of her friends she could climb down off of the pedestal of "star student" and she could be a normal person. Her boyfriend and Reyna were two of the only people she felt she was able to truly take her mask down around, and a lot of the time they were talking about her boyfriend.</p><p>"I just don't think you really like him as much as you say you do," Reyna was saying.</p><p>"Rey, I like him!" Annabeth laughed. "You always say that."</p><p>Reyna sat on her bed in a pair of shorts that revealed a great deal of her thighs and a black tank top that clung loosely, almost futilely to her shoulders. She had her feet pulled underneath her and her chin resting on her knees and her cocoa brown eyes observed Annabeth with a look of contrary. "What is there to like about that boy?" She asked. "Sure he's cute, but if you threw a rock at school you could hit any number of cute boys."</p><p>"He's got a nice smile," Annabeth said, painting her toenails a dark shade of blue. "He always tells me I'm beautiful when I need to hear it, he's a goof, he's actually a lot smarter than you give him credit for. The list goes on," She replied.</p><p>"Well that's got to be a hell of a lot, cause I don't really think he's smart at all." Was Reyna's pointblank reply. Annabeth rolled her eyes.</p><p>"I know you don't like him, Rey. That's duly noted, I think I could get it done in triplicate and signed by a notary as many times as you've reminded me."</p><p>"You know Luke likes you…" Reyna said too casually, grabbing the nail polish from Annabeth. She began on her own fingernails as Annabeth let her toes dry.</p><p>"Luke Castellan is the epitome of the word douchebag and you know it." Annabeth replied. "God, he tans. "</p><p>"I tan." Reyna shot back.</p><p>"No, you go to the beach, he uses tanning beds."</p><p>"You know, just because you're tannist doesn't mean you can judge those of us who choose to add some bronze to our skin,"</p><p>"Tannist? Please don't tell me that's your way of saying I have some prejudice against people who tan?" Reyna shrugged, blowing on her fingernails. "Reyna, Percy is tan!"</p><p>"Hey, some sexists still like having sex with women, does make them any less sexist." Reyna grinned when Annabeth grabbed the varnish off of the bed and began to unscrew it without a word.</p><p>"Your argument is that I like Percy, who also gets a natural tan considering I can hardly get that boy to wear a shirt, versus Luke who is…well, I believe the technical term is "a big bag of dicks" <em>because </em>Percy gets a natural tan?"</p><p>"Yes." Reyna replied. "That is my argument and I'm sticking to it." Then a grin broke out on her face. "I'm just saying, Luke is so much better looking, and he's smarter—"</p><p>"Yeah, he'll tell you that himself."</p><p>"And he's got a car." Reyna ended.</p><p>"Which he'll gladly share if you flash him," Annabeth retorted again. "He's gross. If you like him so much why don't you date him?"</p><p>Reyna laughed, "Are you kidding? God, he's disgusting." Annabeth gave her an incredulous look. "Annabeth, I'm just saying is all. Plus, he might have told me he really likes you and wants to ask you out before the new school year."</p><p>"This is the same boy you just said you thought was disgusting?" Annabeth asked.</p><p>"Okay, he's disgusting, but think about how good it would look. You're Valedictorian, him the Salutatorian, both of you going to Ivy League schools together, blazing the country. He'd be a good First Man if you kept him on a short leash." Reyna leaned forward conspiratorially, "Not to mention I'd make a good Secretary of Defense."</p><p>Annabeth laughed, "Now I know you're just messing with me," She said. "First off: you want to President or nothing, and secondly: I feel like Luke would pull a reverse Clinton, he wouldn't be nearly as good at covering his tracks either. Why are you pushing this today?"</p><p>Reyna finished her fingers and screwed the cap back on, "Because of what you told me yesterday," She said. "You and him, going all the way? Are you crazy?"</p><p>"No, I think it's a good idea," Annabeth said, waving her feet a little to make them dry faster before she could start the varnish properly.</p><p>"You still think he's uncomfortable doing sexual stuff?" Reyna asked her.</p><p>Annabeth decided that at that point it was a good idea to start repainting, "He's gotten good at it," She said with a shrug.</p><p>"Annabeth, he's a level ten closet case. Are we skirting around that issue?" Reyna glared now, she had always been good at glaring. "You just really like him, but you're the one who brought it to my attention. He doesn't seem into it when you guys are intimate, he's never had any other girlfriend before you, and this might be a stereotype, or a generalization, but he's on the swim team. I know he's, like, All State Swim Champ or whatever, but you've got to admit that's pretty gay."</p><p>"He's not gay, Rey." Annabeth said, her expression terse.</p><p>"I think the lady doth protest too much." Reyna replied with a grin. "Pass the clear." Annabeth capped it and threw it to her. "You remember a few months ago you were totally like, "He doesn't know what he's doing at all. You'd think he doesn't even watch porn," you said." Annabeth blushed. "You said, "What if he doesn't even like girls?" remember? I said maybe he was just bad because he's a virgin, but you just kept going. "No, because it's like he's not even excited about it. He's just sort of there because I want him to be." You said."</p><p>"I know what I said,"</p><p>"But you really like him now," Reyna continued, observing her friend. "and you won't bring it up with him because you're afraid he'll get mad if he <em>isn't </em>gay…or bi, maybe? Or just interested in guys, whatever; but, also that on the chance that he's <em>not </em>straight you're afraid you'll end up getting hurt. Which, might I say, I might not like him much but he does adore you, for some reason so I don't think you'll have to worry about that."</p><p>Annabeth sighed, "I know I said some stuff, okay? I mean, sometimes I still think it. He's not always there when we're kissing. He doesn't think I notice but he gets this look on his face, it's kind of a sad look, really. And sometimes I think he's thinking of someone else, but I can't just bring that up with him. If I'm wrong it could be <em>so </em>much worse than if I'm right."</p><p>"But what if you are right?" Reyna asked. "It's not fair to you if you're just a beard for him."</p><p>"So if my boyfriend is into dude's you want me to just start dating the actual worst guy at our school?" Annabeth asked with a raised eyebrow. "I'd rather stay with Percy, thank you. Plus, as long as he says he likes me I don't have a problem with it. He's a good kisser," Annabeth smirked. "And he's gotten much better with his tongue. I've taught him well."</p><p>Reyna shivered in disgust, "Ew. I didn't ask for that visual."</p><p>"You so did," Annabeth laughed. "So since we're on the subject, why haven't you started talking to any other boys yet? You and 'Kota have been broken up for a long time."</p><p>"Because I'm not ready to start dating again," Reyna shrugged, suddenly more reserved now that the topic was about her. "Dakota kinda killed the whole dating thing for me," Reyna's ex was in college. He was a blond frat boy who got drunk far too often, and cheated far more than that. He always had an excuse for himself, though, and as smart as Reyna was she had always been sort of unlucky in love. Eventually they had broken up, him with her, and she had sort of wandered off the map of even flirting with cute guys anymore. She was now too invested in her friend's love life to be involved in her own.</p><p>Annabeth told her so, "Well, if you worried more about you than me you might be able to get over him. You keep telling me all these negative qualities about Percy, but he was nowhere near as bad as Dakota. I tried to break you two up for months and you just wouldn't listen to me."</p><p>Reyna waved a dismissive hand, "Disregarding the fact that I'm relatively sure Percy is strictly dickly let's just say we're both stubborn. Is that your point?"</p><p>"Basically, yes." Annabeth laughed. She stood walking on the balls of her feet till she came and sat down on the bed beside Reyna, "Look, boys are temporary. You know that, they last about as long as we let them. The fruit-fly has a known life span longer than any high school relationship, so we can't be worried about it. This is coming from a girl who has her next five years planned out in vivid detail, Rey. Dakota is a prick, we can leave it at that. He wasn't going anywhere anyway, and if you're going to be my Secretary of Defense I'm gonna need you to have some primo arm candy, girl!"</p><p>"Yeah, here's to hoping mine isn't some drunken douche or a boy who won't even admit to his girlfriend he likes the cock." Reyna said with a grin towards the end of her sentence. Annabeth shoved her.</p><p>"You're impossible." Annabeth laughed.</p><p>"Not that you'd care. Hell, Percy could come walking through here in full drag and you'd be all over him." Annabeth laughed harder and Reyna joined her.</p><p>"Please, I'm not <em>that </em>bad." She said, though the blush on her cheeks said otherwise. "He wouldn't look too shabby, though, would he?"</p><p>I will admit that some of those guys in drag are really hot, as both men and women." Reyna grinned, "I have the sudden urge to watch Drag Race now."</p><p>"You would," Annabeth smirked, nudging her with her shoulder. "I've got to finish my résumé, but I wouldn't hate it if you turned it on."</p><p>"See?" Reyna picked up the television remote from her nightstand, "This is why we're friends."</p><p>Annabeth's eyebrow shot up, "Because we enjoy watching men dress up in garish costumes while demonstrating outlandish caricatures of women together?"</p><p>"Exactly," Reyna answered.</p><hr/><p>Two hours later Percy awoke to Nico and Grover watching something on the television. It was animated and brightly colored and they did not look like the target audience of the show. "What is that?" Percy asked, someone had wrapped him in his blankets. His room also appeared as if it had been cleaned up, and he was grateful it didn't smell like weed anymore.</p><p>He had no idea how he would have explained that one.</p><p>"Mythomagic: The Reckoning," Nico said looking over his shoulder at the foot of the bed. "I can't believe you never watched it. I got really into it for a while when I moved, but kinda faded away from it after a while. It's a good show."</p><p>"It looks Japanese." Percy sat up.</p><p>"The term you're looking for, my dear Perseus, is anime." Grover grinned, though he seemed more invested in a texting conversation he was having. Most likely with his girlfriend, Percy guessed.</p><p>"Gro, I've told you not to call me that." His mouth tasted green again like the first time he smoked. As if he had been chewing on a plant. He ran his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Ugh, the inside of my mouth tastes horrible." He complained.</p><p>"Go brush your teeth then, doofus." Nico grinned, turning to look at Percy. Percy sat there for a moment staring at the black haired boy on his bed. Nico looked so out of place in his room, like a thing from a dream brought to real life.</p><p>"Come here." Percy held his hand out. Nico chuckled a little bit, giving Percy a wondering look but he climbed up to the front of the bed. Percy ran a hand through Nico's hair. It was feather soft and when his fingers combed through it he could smell Nico's shampoo. Touching him made Nico a little more real, Percy had to wonder if he was still a little high.</p><p>"What're you doing there, Perce?" Nico asked as Percy's hand ran down his cheek. He so badly wanted to lean into the touch but he didn't dare, not when he was sober enough to know what he was doing. He couldn't trust himself to pull back when he needed to.</p><p>"I'm just…" Percy's hand dipped lower till his fingers curled under Nico's shoulders. "I can't help myself, really." He answered after a second, he pulled the slim young man closer until Nico was straddling his legs. Nico shook his head with a smile and rested his arms over Percy's shoulders, interlocking his fingers behind Percy's neck.</p><p>"Can't help yourself, huh?" Nico asked.</p><p>Percy found himself blushing, "I probably could if I really wanted to," He admitted. "Grover how strong was that stuff?"</p><p>"It was strong, bro, but it should be worn off by now. You're just a horny fucker who forgets his best friend is still present." Grover checked his phone and stood up, stretching. "Neeks and I have been getting to know each other pretty well. Tried to convince him to come hang with me and Juniper, you know, privately."</p><p>"You—!"</p><p>"I said no, Perseus," Nico laughed.</p><p>"And I'm the one around here with the libido, Grover? You can't just ask people to be in a threesome."</p><p>"Brother, if you don't ask however will you know if they'll do it?" Grover laughed. "But I'll text you sometime, Neeks. Thinking about planning a trip to the lake, you in?"</p><p>"Sounds like fun, yeah." Nico said, though Percy hadn't released him yet. "Hope I get to meet Juniper soon."</p><p>"I mean, she's about to be outside in like, two seconds to pick me up but I don't think Percy's going to let you get away." Grover grinned, Nico looked back at the man who's arms he was inhabiting.</p><p>"Sorry." Percy let him go.</p><p>Nico smirked, "I'll meet her soon, Grover. But, tell her I'm looking forward to it."</p><p>"Can do, brother." He started walking towards the door, "I'll hang with you guys later, Percy behave yourself while Uncle Grover's gone."</p><p>"Get out of here you ass!" Percy yelled, smirking a bit. Nico hadn't climbed out of his lap. Grover flipped them both off before he left with a quick, "Later," and they could hear his footsteps heading down the stairs. "Sorry I grabbed you like that, I—you looked…" He sighed. "This is going to be really hard, isn't it?"</p><p>"It probably won't be easy, no." Nico said, he placed his hands on Percy's shoulders and pushed him forward till the young man underneath him was laying on his back. "But, I'm kind of looking forward to the challenge." He said. "If I could tell you how many times I thought about a moment like this, how long I wanted something like this to happen I'd be talking all day." Tentatively Nico kissed his cheek, "You're…" He stopped himself.</p><p>"I'm what?" Percy asked, he was enjoying the way Nico's heat resonated into him, the way the younger man's body curved into his, how he could feel the pulse in Nico's side where his hand was resting, letting Percy know he was alive.</p><p>"It'd be too sentimental for me to say, Percy." Nico said leaning up, they stared at each other. Suddenly Nico could remember every cut he'd made, he could remember the pain bleeding into him while his blood ran out, he could feel his body becoming weightless from taking some pill from some guy, any guy, at the club. He could remember every last hurt, and he knew his blood should have been boiling but staring down into those blue-green eyes just erased it all like a soothing balm.</p><p>He wondered if that was healthy, but saw nothing wrong with it. He'd put almost all of his Percy drama to rest. Or, as much as he could in the time he had been back.</p><p>"Say it anyway," Percy said.</p><p>Nico put his head on Percy's chest, he listened to his heartbeat, listened to him breathe. The world around them felt so big and warm, and Nico knew it wasn't just them in it but he swore that everyone else ceased to be with him lying there on top of Percy. "You're my ideal kind of guy, Percy." Nico said. "You're what I want, you've always been what I wanted. That's why I held on so tightly when I went away. I know we're doing this thing, and it's supposed to be whatever, and that we don't want the feelings to get too real but that's always been the case between. For me at least. It's always been real and I just wanted you to know, I guess."</p><p>Percy circled his arms around Nico and held him tight against his chest, "You know," He said, "it probably would have been easier if you just decked me." He spoke into Nico's hair softly. "I don't know if I can let you go again." Nico looked up at him and Percy smiled, "Let's just make the best of it we can, right?"</p><p>"Yeah," Nico snuggled in deeper. "let's."</p><p>"I think kissing would still be okay, maybe? Do you think?"</p><p>Nico laughed, "Probably not, I shouldn't have kissed you at all before. This right here," He squeezed Percy, "This is being intimated which probably isn't okay either, but we're doing it anyway."</p><p>"Which means since we're already crossing the line...?"</p><p>Nico chuckled, "That's a 'no' Percy. I won't be the one to make someone else cheat. I just won't do it." He sat up, "Not that I don't have blueballs like a motherfucker, but I'm already messed up enough and you don't want to be in a position where you're forced to choose between me and your girlfriend before you're ready."</p><p>Percy sighed, "Why are you still always right about everything?" He asked.</p><p>"Because you're still thick like a wall," Nico smirked.</p><p>"Whatever," Percy rolled his eyes. Then something changed on his face and it came alive as if he'd just had an idea, "and I'll bet <em>you're</em> still ticklish." Nico's nearly leapt off of Percy when those fingers started attacking him. He was laughing loudly and before he knew it Percy had flipped them over and was the one straddling him.</p><p>"Percy!" He laughed, tears coming to his eyes as his body writhed and spasmed, "Please, no! I give, I give!" He laughed unabashedly, which wasn't good because Percy loved the sound of it.</p><p>"I'll let you go on, with a condition." Percy grinned, leaning forward.</p><p>"Anything!" Nico laughed harder.</p><p>"I get one kiss." When Nico tried to look at him seriously Percy tickled him harder.</p><p>"Percy! Stoooop! I've gotta pee now!"</p><p>"Just one, Nico." Percy laughed. "I'm not letting you up without one."</p><p>"Okay, okay! I'm gonna piss myself, just one!" And as if the gods above answered his prayers Percy's fingers stopped their insistent tickling. "Oh, my god. You are the devil." Percy just smiled all the wider.</p><p>"I think it'll be worth it," He chuckled, he captured Nico's lips with his own. Instantly a soft warmth traveled into their bodies as their mouths connected. Percy had to admit that Nico was a better kisser than him, his mouth was firm but not hard, he didn't use too much tongue or too little, he seemed to know how to hold his head just to make it the most enjoyable and pleasant kiss that Percy had ever had.</p><p>That is until he heard someone clear their throat, "Eh-hem," Pulling back with an embarrassing '<em>POP!</em>' sound he looked up. His mother was leaning against his door, staring at both of them with amused eyes. "How are you boys doing this fine evening?" She asked with a smile.</p><p>"Oh—" Percy began.</p><p>"—shit." Nico finished.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mom! This isn't what it looks like!" Percy all but jumped off of Nico, who stared at Sally from the bed. He was more worried about Percy's reaction than Sally's. He'd gotten so far in such a short amount of time with the boy and he hoped it wasn't all for not now.</p><p>"What did it look like, Perseus?" Sally wondered, still smiling. If Nico wasn't mistaken she looked positively amused, just barely short of breaking into laughter.</p><p>"I—it might have looked like I was kissing Nico. But it was nothing." Percy said, Nico turned his attention to her son and watched the blush creep across his face.</p><p>"Nothing?" Sally asked, eyebrow still quirked. Percy struggled for words, "Nico?"</p><p>Nico sighed and sat up, righting his shirt that had somehow gotten pulled up, "If Percy says we weren't doing anything then I guess we weren't doing anything." He shrugged noncommittally, and then moved to stand up, pushing Percy aside. His eyes were filled with so much disappointment that Percy nearly cringed back. "I'm just gonna go home, you guys can talk about the <em>nothing </em>that we were doing. I'll catch you later, Percy." Nico shouldered past him.</p><p>"Wait! Wait, Nico, no! I didn't mean it like that, don't leave." Percy grabbed the fleeing young man by the arm. "Please. I'm sorry. You're not nothing."</p><p>"Percy, I told you I'm not a secret. I won't be treated like one. I know it's going to take some time with you and that's fine, but when a guy is kissing me and then says it's nothing it doesn't feel all that great. <em>You </em>kissed <em>me</em>. I told you not to 'cause I knew this was gonna happen." He didn't break his gaze but Percy looked away.</p><p>"Nico…I…" But Percy's word still seemed to be failing him.</p><p>"That's what I thought, we'll try this again when you can admit a few things to, if not your mother, then yourself at least." Nico went to move again.</p><p>"Boys, boys." Sally came into the room, blocking his exit. "Look, Percy, if there's something going on here you don't have to tell me. You'll tell me when you're ready, on your own time. Nico, sweetie, don't leave. I know how much Percy enjoys having you here. I can play dumb if I need to until Percy is ready to talk about some things." She put her hand on Nico's shoulder and then one on Percy's. "I've been playing dumb with you two for years, what's a little longer?" She laughed.</p><p>"Mom, I—" But Sally shook her head.</p><p>"When you're ready, and not a moment before." Sally said firmly. "I just came up here to ask if you had eaten yet, Percy. Paul is out getting things for the barbecue and I think he wanted to make dinner tonight as well. You're more than welcome to join us, hon." She said to Nico.</p><p>"I can't stay much longer, when the sun goes down Dad'll be over here to pick me up," Nico said. Sally pursed her lips for a second then looked at her son.</p><p>"Perseus, dear, can you give us a moment?"</p><p>"I—yeah, I guess, if that's cool with you, Nico?" The aforementioned just shrugged and Percy moved away from him and out of the door.</p><p>Sally regarded Nico. Lately when she dealt with him it reminded her of dealing with a caged animal. He seemed to be doing better, but at this moment in time he was obviously very touchy. "I've had my suspicions about Percy being attracted to other boys for a while," Sally told him all at once, "When you left his entire world turned upside down, and I realized he loved you more than in a brotherly fashion. He moped and cried when he thought his father wasn't around, and he just wasn't the same boy." She sat on the bed and motioned for him to do the same, and he did. "When his girlfriend came around I laid my suspicions to rest, I'll admit I had hoped my son was into girls, but I care more about if he's happy than anything else. The same goes for you Nico, I know you've had a rough go of things but above all in your life I want you to be happy. Like you said, it's probably going to take a lot of time. It's something he won't be able to admit to himself for a long while. You and I both know that's the way Percy is. But I also don't want you to give up on him.</p><p>"Since you've been gone he's gone through a lot of changes. I know it's every parent's dream for their children to strive in school, but he loads himself down with so much work it just seems so stressful. Between Annabeth and school and his sports I think he's been trying to distract himself more than anything else. Do you understand? Percy might never be able to return your affection the same way, I've tried to be subtle with him and let him know that I would accept him no matter what, but it hasn't taken and I don't want to force him to admit anything."</p><p>Nico looked at Sally, and for the first time since returned he remembered how much she had loved him. "I know. I know I shouldn't even be talking to him, not like I am anyway. But he surprised me, told me he liked me. He's always had the power to make me do things without thinking."</p><p>"You two have that effect on each other, I'm afraid." Sally laughed. "I just wanted you to fully understand what you were getting into."</p><p>"I know what I'm doing, Sally." Nico replied.</p><p>"I don't doubt that, just be nice to each other. Be good for each other." She stood, "Percy has something for you, it's in his dresser drawer over there. I may have found it when I was cleaning up in here."</p><p>"Sounds more like you were snooping to me," Nico said with a small smile.</p><p>Sally returned it, "Just make sure he gives it to you before you leave."</p><p>"What is it?" Nico asked.</p><p>"A letter," Sally smiled, and then she stood, "I don't mind if you and he have to do things discreetly, just try to keep the door closed, huh? I'll inform Paul not to disturb you and we'll knock."</p><p>Nico stood behind her, "You're being really cool about this, Sally." He said, "Like really cool."</p><p>Sally laughed, "Was I supposed to be surprised? In this day and age, when my son showed no interests in girls in the first place except for one a year and a half later. I can still be over-the-top about the situation if you preferred?"</p><p>Nico found himself smiling wider, "You're funnier than I remember," He commented.</p><p>"I've always been funny, hon, you were just too young to realize it." She pinched his cheek and turned towards the door, "Percy! You can stop twiddling your thumbs and come back in here," Half a moment later he emerged back into his room. "You boys play nice, I'm going to go do some work. I'll be in the study if you need me," She kissed Percy's cheek sweetly, "You know I'm always here for you, you know that. No matter what."</p><p>Nico watched them exchange a heavy look, and he wasn't surprised to see that Percy didn't seem to be able to interpret it. Percy was thick when it came to subtlety. "Y-yeah, thanks Mom."</p><p>"Nico, are you sure you can't stay for dinner? I'll call Maria, it'll be fine."</p><p>"I—"</p><p>"No, I don't wanna hear any no's. And you don't have to be as polite as you were the other night, just be yourself. We've missed having you over."</p><p>Nico laughed, "Well if I can't say no…"</p><p>"I'll go call Maria, then I've got to finish some paperwork like I said." Sally was moving out of the door, leaving her son and the neighbor boy alone. Percy stared at Nico and Nico stared back. A few awkward seconds of silence passed by before Nico said, "So that was close, she almost saw us."</p><p>"Al-almost?" Percy asked. "I'm pretty sure she saw everything."</p><p>Nico sighed, he searched Percy's face for a moment and he saw the fear of rejection in those eyes that he had so often felt himself. He stepped forward and put his hands on Percy's chest, walking him against the door until it was closed Nico pressed himself hard along Percy's body, "She didn't if you didn't want her to, she says she didn't see anything if that's the case."</p><p>Percy's eyes were half lidded as he stared back at Nico, "Really?"</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "Yeah, dumbo. Because you've got a good mom who doesn't care about shit like this, so I guess you can tell her about us when you're ready. If you're ever ready and if there's even an us to speak of."</p><p>"Nico—"</p><p>"Shh," Nico leaned up, pressing his forehead to Percy's, "you don't have to decide right now." Percy put his arms around Nico's waist.</p><p>"I'm sorry." He said, holding the shorter man close. "I'm really confused about everything."</p><p>"We just established that you don't have to decide right now," Nico said raising his hand and running a thumb over Percy's cheek. "Just don't keep me waiting forever; I'm only here for a little while."</p><p>Percy sighed, he seemed loathe to release Nico—who wasn't complaining, "I'll try." He spoke into Nico's hair. "God, I'll try."</p><hr/><p>Leo was laughing hard around the food in his mouth at a story he was being told. He was trying and failing to hide the fact that his mouth was full, putting a hand in front of his face. There was a blond young man across the table from him who had a strong jaw and shoulders as broad as the horizon. His arms were thick, defined, and shown off well in the sleeveless tank top that had been clinging for life across the wide expanse of his chest before he'd taken it off to reveal a long, smooth body. His waist was slim, but his body was built strong with hard muscle. The board shorts he wore put his equally powerful legs on display and Leo couldn't help his wandering eyes.</p><p>Jason was smart and funny on top of that, hence why Leo's sides were splitting. Leo stared into those pale blue eyes, still smiling widely. "You're crazy," He laughed. Jason's hair was so light it arrayed around his head like a halo, lending an even more angelic quality to him when he smiled.</p><p>"No, I'm for real. It was just me and my friend Shane, naked as the day we were born, running through this little podunk K-Mart in South Carolina. The police were chasing us and everything. We barely got away."</p><p>"What were you even doing in South Carolina in the first place?" Leo asked, enraptured. Jason just smirked.</p><p>"Shane rolled up to my house about two weeks before that claiming he wanted to go on a road-trip cause he'd just gotten his licenses, back when I lived in Anaheim, so I packed a bag and we jumped in the car and went. Little did I know when we were half way back from our little cross-country drive that he'd stolen his dad's car. My parents weren't too happy about it either, but when I explained to them that I didn't know it was stolen they sort of let it go. But, you know how parents are, can't let stuff go." He gave Leo a bold look that seemed to say, "Am I right?" to which Leo just chuckled in agreement.</p><p>They were both shirtless, sitting at a table on the strip that overlooked the beach. But Leo wasn't the only one taking note of their date's appearance. Jason observed that Leo had a narrow face, with bushy brows that fit him perfectly. He had high cheekbones and big eyes that sparkled with a mischievous sort of nature, but having talked with the boy he found he was hardly mischievous at all. He was a nervous sort of guy that boasted when he was unsure about anything and who talked a big game. But, Jason didn't mind that. He thought the boy's confidence bluster was cute.</p><p>He continued observing Leo with a sort of scrutiny that could not go unnoticed, which, to his great amusement caused Leo to blush.</p><p>Leo's deep brown skin hid most of it, but the blush centered around his ears and across his nose where a hundred freckles could be found. His nose was almost button in shape but came to a small point, and his mouth seemed to be set in a permanent grin, not helping with making him look any less impish.</p><p>Leo was considerably smaller than him, both in build and in height, but Jason normally went for the slimmer, shorter guys. He liked the dynamic, being able to lean down and kiss the other boy, or picking them up, he thought this was cute as well. But, Leo seemed to be exceptionally cute all around, sometimes bordering more on hot than anything else. At least, to Jason he did. The boy's hair was still wet from their swim in the ocean and was slicked back, the curls just barely tamed. Flecks of water rolled down his body, and he could see a faint outlining of abdominal muscle every time the boy's stomach contracted in laughter.</p><p>"You're staring," Leo said suddenly, and if Jason wasn't mistaken he sounded guarded, almost suspicious of something.</p><p>Jason smiled, "I like what I see is all, sorry." He replied, and the redness in Leo's ears deepened. "You're really cute, Leo."</p><p>The aforementioned boy's eyes hit the table, for a moment he looked like he was going to protest, but then he was smiling widely as he stared up at Jason, "I know, right?" He laughed, but it didn't sound like a real laugh. "Gorgeous." He said with a down-turn of his lips.</p><p>Jason's hand reached out and grabbed Leo's, technically this was their second date, but it wasn't like their first one had even ended yet. He and Leo had been hanging out together for almost two days straight. "You <em>are </em>gorgeous," Jason said. "I'm picking up a lot of self-consciousness from you, which I didn't expect."</p><p>"Me? No, man. I'm Leo Valdez, I could be a part time model if you didn't know." He winked, but Jason could feel the other boy's fingers tinkering around in his hand. Leo tinkered when he was nervous or lying, Jason observed.</p><p>Jason said, "Now I believe that, but I don't think <em>you </em>believe it," His lips twisted upward a little bit when Leo looked away from him. "Have you had a lot of trouble with guys in the past?"</p><p>Leo stared at him with those big, brown eyes, "I don't know if we've been seeing each other long enough for me to even talk to you about that." He said. "We're supposed to be having fun, you know? Getting into all that isn't fun for me,"</p><p>"It can't be fun all the time," Jason shrugged. "Me? I get so tired of guys sometimes I wish I was straight. It'd be a hell of a lot easier,"</p><p>Leo blinked, "You?" He asked skeptically. "You look like Michael, or Gabriel, or one of those angels that you see painted up at the cathedral." Leo had been Catholic before he had come out, or so he had told Jason. A lot of Catholic guilt still plagued him sometimes about his sexuality, but he was happy most of the time.</p><p>Jason just laughed because Leo didn't seem at all embarrassed by that, he said it like it was just a fact, "Thanks, I guess? Even still, man, I've been lied to and cheated on more times than I can count. It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't stop me from putting myself out there." In one swift move he had Leo's face in his hands, "I don't know why you're self-conscious, Leo, I can guarantee you have no reason to be. You're gorgeous."</p><p>Leo deadpanned, looking unamused, "Yeah, gorgeous, thanks."</p><p>"Don't believe me if you don't want to, but I mean it. And funny, you're smart, my family likes you, which is rare."</p><p>Leo chuckled. Jason had taken him over to his place so he could grab a change of clothes and a shower, leaving Leo to be scrutinized by Jason's family for fifteen uninterrupted minutes. Jason's father was a politician of some sort, and his stepmother owned her own business.</p><p>They had seemed nice enough, though Leo didn't think they liked him very much. Jason's family was more well off than his and he figured they could tell right off. But, Jason's sister Thalia was cool. She and he had talked cars while Jason showered and she knew her shop pretty well.</p><p>"Listen," Jason said scooting closer, lowering his voice the closer he came so Leo had to follow suit and scoot forward as well. "it's probably not gonna do me any good to just say it. I get that." And then he was scant inches away from Leo and Leo could smell the sand and the surf still clinging to him. "And I know we've only just started going out, but I feel a connection with you, and I want to get to know you even better." Jason moved, and his lips were now beside Leo's ear. "I want to show you how gorgeous you are." Leo felt his entire face flood with color, he was hardly ever speechless but now seemed to be one of those few occasions. He could <em>feel </em>Jason smirking. "Say something." The blond young man insisted.</p><p>Leo felt an unnatural and nervous laugh bubble out of him, then he shook his head, "I don't think I've ever said this, but I don't know what to say." He replied, laughing again but feeling nothing close to humor. His stomach felt like a pit full of butterflies, it was flopping around inside.</p><p>Jason sat back so he could look Leo in the face, his perfect blue eyes seemed to be full of laughter and he gave Leo a dimpled smile, "Just say yes."</p><p>Leo's breath caught in his constricted throat, but he managed a whispered, "<em>…okay</em>." And a nod of his head. That seemed to be exactly what Jason wanted to hear because he pressed his lips sweetly to Leo's.</p><p>Leo might have been surprised, but he wasn't dead.</p><p>He met Jason's' kiss with one of his own. Their mouths moved together in a sort of choreography, a dance of the unknown possibilities such a kiss could lead to. Jason's lips were almost questioning, as if they were asking permission and Leo realized that if this was the dance then he was the lead because Jason wouldn't take anything he didn't offer. He smiled into the kiss before he pressed in harder, and experimentally swept his tongue into Jason's mouth. That seemed to take the blond boy by surprise, but Leo grabbed him by the back of the neck and kissed him even harder.</p><p>When he pulled back Jason blinked at him slowly, a dopey smile spread across his mouth slowly like an ink stain and he looked instantly smitten. "Wow." Was all he said, and suddenly he was thinking that maybe Leo <em>was </em>mischievous after all.</p><p>Leo laughed, "Shut up."</p><p>"No, I'm for real. Wow." And that grin wouldn't leave his face. "That was…yeah. That was good. We should do that more."</p><p>"Maybe we will, maybe we won't," Leo grinned. Jason stood and was on the other side of the table before Leo could blink. He felt himself become hoisted into the air and the next thing he knew he was on Jason's shoulder. "What are you doing!" He laughed.</p><p>"I'm kidnapping you, it's for your own good. If people find out you can kiss like that you'll be hounded left and right by everybody!" Jason shouted over his shoulder, but he walked the short way down the steps of the strip and they were on the beach again. Leo started his struggle when he realized where Jason was taking him, the ocean looked even colder than the last time they'd jumped in it about twenty minute ago and he had just gotten completely dry.</p><p>"Jason Grace, if you throw me in that water—" But that was all he got out before Jason unceremoniously threw him into the water, earning a long standing squeal of surprise out of Leo as his body broke the surface and cold shivered up his spine. "You ass!" He yelled, but Jason was right behind him, jumping into the water and sending a misty spray into the air. Jason's arms were around him the next moment, and he was being kissed again and the cold met with Jason's warmth and Leo just couldn't help his laughter.</p><p>He didn't get moments like this. Leo always sat on the side while guys like Jason always showed more interest in Nico. Nico got them so effortlessly and then tossed them aside for guys like Octavian, and it wasn't that Leo was <em>jealous </em>of Nico, but he was upset more about the fact that men always seemed to be more attracted to that wounded, brooding thing he did.</p><p>Not to say Leo didn't find attractive men, but it wasn't the same. Nico didn't even have to try.</p><p>But, a pair of lips were kissing his cheek and he was brought out of his reverie.</p><p>He had Jason for now, and he liked that.</p><hr/><p>Rachel held the phone up to her ear, "Oh, you'd better be glad you didn't ask me because I would have told you to ignore his ass until the summer was up," She was saying to Nico who had called her. Leo was on a date and she and Frank, who was currently going through her closet, were spending some much needed quality time together.</p><p>"<em>I know</em>," Nico was saying.</p><p>"Which is why you didn't call until after the fact," She said, watching Frank finger the material of one of her skirts. "I'll await the call of heartbreak that is sure to come from this decision."</p><p>"<em>It's different this time, he </em>likes<em> me, Rachel</em>." Nico said on the other end.</p><p>"Oh?" Rachel asked, "Hey, Frankie. Guess what? Nico says it's different this time, Percy likes him now." Frank looked over his shoulder and Rachel held out the phone. Very loudly he laughed and the red haired girl smirked behind the receiver. She turned the phone back around, "Frank agrees with me."</p><p>"<em>You see? This is why I didn't tell either of you.</em>" Nico countered on the other line. "<em>Something good happens and you just make it something trivial</em>."</p><p>"Nico, babe, I don't want this to sound mean, but: it <em>is </em>trivial. You'll end up either crying on my shoulder about it or something will happen with Percy then you'll have to come back home and you'll try to do the long distance thing, then it won't work out and you'll end up crying on my shoulder."</p><p>Rachel could hear the color rising in Nico's voice as he said, "<em>Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish. What's going on in your nonexistent love life, Rachel? Still no guy out there that can live up to your impossible standard of having a job, a car, who goes to school, and is in a band, and reads romance novels, and is perfect and still has time for you at the end of the day?</em>"</p><p>"Nico, you're upset," Rachel replied evenly, more than used to Nico reacting badly to things she said, "and we all know I have impossibly high standards, that isn't what's come into question."</p><p>Nico sighed, "<em>Okay, fuck. I'm sorry, that was mean.</em>" He said. "<em>I was just really hoping you'd be happy for me about this. You know I've liked this guy since I've been able to like anyone.</em>"</p><p>"You're right. I'm sorry too, Nico. Frank and I are just feeling kind of catty, I guess."</p><p>"And jealous," Frank added loudly enough for Nico to hear. Rachel came and sat beside him so he could speak into the phone, "Between you and Leo there are no eligible men here or in New York, sounds like." Rachel knew Nico couldn't be mad at Frank, and that she had a tendency to take her witticisms too far.</p><p>She heard the anger ease out of his voice, "<em>You don't put yourself out there, Frankie</em>."</p><p>"And what's my problem?" Rachel asked, knowing she shouldn't but smiling all the while.</p><p>"<em>You're a know-it-all ass</em>," Nico answered back with waning venom, "<em>but I guess you're kind of gorgeous too so I don't know. Maybe you smell?</em>"</p><p>Frank laughed and Rachel begrudgingly joined him in it, "Probably," She grinned, "I guess I'll ask next time I'm on the date with that perfect guy who meets all of those standards you named. Being a know-it-all ass and all."</p><p>"<em>You're more than allowed to be spiteful for the things I said, but you deserved it and I said I was sorry.</em>"</p><p>Rachel laughed again, "Maybe if you called more often I wouldn't have to be so mean."</p><p>"<em>Who are you, my mother?</em>" Nico replied.</p><p>"No, because you at least call her." Rachel sat back, "Frank's got news of his own, but he's been waiting for you to call because he wasn't sure how busy you were." She handed Frank the phone and he sighed.</p><p>"<em>What's going on Frankie?</em>" Nico asked.</p><p>"I told my mom," He said, Rachel grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it. "Everything."</p><p>It took Nico a moment, and Frank sat on the floor awaiting his reply, "<em>That's—that's a huge step for you, Frank.</em>" He said. "<em>How did she take it?</em>"</p><p>"Surprisingly well, actually." Frank laughed, though Rachel could see his relief at reliving what was probably the second worst and scariest moment of his life behind his father dying. "She said she doesn't completely understand, which is great because I don't completely understand it myself so I'd be a little surprised if she did. But, she also says she will love me regardless of any decision I ever make, conscious or not. We're not telling my Grandma, one: because I don't think her heart could handle it, and two: I'm afraid she'll pull out some Old World Zhang family curse in anger."</p><p>Nico laughed, "I'm <em>so proud of you Frank. I'm just sorry I couldn't be there for you. My dad would have definitely let me fly back for a few days for something like that.</em>"</p><p>Frank sighed exaggeratedly, "Well if I would have known that I would waited!" Nico laughed again at the over-acting. "It's going to be weird, but she didn't look at me any different, and it's not like I can start rocking chandelier earrings and silk blouses around the house or anything."</p><p>"<em>You'll be able to do whatever you want when you move out,</em>" Nico reminded him.</p><p>"Yeah," Frank said, "but I'm just glad Mom is cool with it. I don't know if I could have handled her not accepting me. You were kind of the reason I decided to "come out" I guess. Your life is far from perfect. Far, far, far from perfect. Like, on the other side of the globe of perfect,"</p><p>"<em>Well, if my life were perfect I could probably just date Rachel, I'd be the one person to meet her standards.</em>"</p><p>"I heard that, asshole," Rachel growled at the phone.</p><p>"As I was saying," Frank brought the conversation back around, "Far from perfect, but you and your parents fight about normal stuff, not gay stuff. Your parents don't try to change who you are, or who you identify as. They might not approve of the guys you date, but it/s not because they're guys that they don't approve. Usually it's because they're junkie assholes."</p><p>"<em>Jesus Christ, I'm not getting any kind of love today. Et tu, Frankie?</em>"</p><p>"Hey, Rachel's right about one thing: you don't call us enough. Leo was pretty pissed a few weeks ago, he said the only reason you call him at all is because he'll listen to your Percy problems."</p><p>"<em>I apologized for that!</em>" Nico said with a fake whine.</p><p>"He also said you did that." Frank laughed. "We're all sorry. We won't pick on you anymore unless you go three weeks without calling or texting again."</p><p>"<em>I'll try not to get caught up in 'Percy problems' again, I'm sorry too.</em>"</p><p>"Apology accepted." Frank stood, "However, Rachel and I are about to watch Chicago and have plans for shopping later, and maybe killing a few men who were asking for it."</p><p>"<em>Is that your roundabout way of bidding me adieu, Miss Roxie?</em>"</p><p>"Why Velma Kelly, I would never be so insensitive to your needs." Frank grinned.</p><p>Nico chuckled, "<em>I'm sure. Okay, I'll leave you guys be. But, don't forget the phone works both ways, I get all this flack about never calling, but I don't think I've really heard from any of you guys either.</em>"</p><p>Frank made an agreeable motion with his head in the affirmative and then shrugged, "Guess you're right. Well if I don't hear from you then I'll text you first."</p><p>"<em>You better. Bye Frankie, bye Rach,</em>"</p><p>"Bye Nico," Was the answer and then they hung up the phone.</p><p>Rachel looked at Frank with a grin and sang, "Pop."</p><p>Frank smiled and countered, "Six."</p><p>"Squish."</p><p>"Uh-uh!"</p><p>"Cicero."</p><p>"Lipschitz." And in an off-key (on Rachel's part) duet they sang, "He had it coming! He had it coming! He only had himself to blame!"</p><hr/><p>Nico sighed as he ended the call, it was still afternoon for his friends but it was getting close to midnight for him. Normally he wouldn't be going to bed so early during the break but he felt sort of exhausted, emotionally which kind of lent to his physical exhaustion. He fingered the note in his hand. Before he had left the Blofis home from dinner he'd brought it up with Percy, who had flustered and blushed and for the most part then he'd rushed upstairs and brought him a very crumpled piece of paper.</p><p>Nico had been too scared to read it yet whereas before he would have been too excited to function if Percy had written him some sort of letter. His hands were sweating and he put the note on his dresser. He couldn't read it, not yet. After the admissions from Percy his head was swimming with possibilities.</p><p>Percy liked him. That was insane. He wanted to…he wasn't sure what he wanted to do, scream into his pillow? Burst into flames? Run in fear? God, he had never been so nervous about a guy before. But Percy had never been just any guy, Percy could <em>never </em>be just any guy.</p><p>A knock on his window made him jump. He looked over the foot of his bed and staring at him with a grin was the very subject of his musing. "Percy!" He shouted, jumping up. "Percy, what are you doing!" He ran to the window. "I live on the second floor, dumbass! Get in here before you kill yourself!" Nico helped pull the still-smiling young man into the house. When Percy was standing in front of him he said, "What the hell, man? What were you thinking?"</p><p>"I was thinking about you, actually." Percy grinned, "I wanted to come see you and I was tired of peeking at you through my window like a creep so I climbed your house."</p><p>"Which is totally not creepy," Nico chuckled. Percy had the good grace to blush before he grabbed the younger boy by the hips and pulled him closer.</p><p>"I'm a little creepy I guess, but it's your fault. You didn't change in front of your window, you can't just make me quit cold turkey like that." Nico looked down at his pajamas and then back up at Percy. He felt his lips taking on a perverse grin as he stepped out of the hold he was in.</p><p>"Well we can't have that, can we?" Grabbing the bottom of his shirt he hiked it over his head and tossed it aside. Shimmying quickly out of his pajama bottoms he never broke eye contact with Percy stared on, not exactly chewing on his bottom lip but biting it almost too hard. Nico stood there in his underwear, name brand boxer briefs the only keeping him semi-decent. He ran a finger under the elastic waistband, pulling it forward and snapping it against his waist. "Underwear too?"</p><p>Percy's head was nodding again and again like an overly hyper puppy before he said, "Y-yes! Those too. That—that would be nice, yeah." He swallowed a lump in his throat and Nico laughed again.</p><p>Nico made a sound like that of a buzzer, "Eh!" He chuckled, putting his arms around Percy's neck and stepping close. "Not gonna happen, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" He stepped back a bit and looked Percy up and down for a moment, running his hand down Percy's chest. "But," He said and that got the blue-green eyed boy's attention, "it is about turn you returned the favor, I'm always the one getting naked, or half naked, whatever. Let me see some skin." Percy's face flushed, his cheeks were a rosy pink that Nico found more than adorable. "What's wrong? You're a jock right? Locker rooms should've prepared you for something like this."</p><p>"It's different in a locker room," Percy insisted, his eyes trained on the ground.</p><p>Nico grabbed the hem of Percy's shirt, "I'm standing here in my skivvies, Jackson. I don't really think you have anything to be embarrassed about. Unless," He looked at Percy's crotch and held his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart, then he trailed his eyes back up to Percy's face. "Hm?" he asked, indicating the length of the space between his fingers.</p><p>Percy's blush deepened. "No!" He half whispered, "It's not small like that!"</p><p>"I mean, that's the only reason I could think of…" Nico shrugged. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Perce. We can't control the size they come in; I'll still be interested if you've got a teeny-weenie weenie."</p><p>"It's not small!" Percy half hissed, half whispered.</p><p>Nico grinned and licked the front of his teeth, "Alright then, big man, let's see." He crossed his arms as if waiting and his eyebrow rose half an inch.</p><p>"Nico…!" Percy looked around as if someone were watching. "Your parents are home."</p><p>"Percy, you silly boy, my parents take me to get things like condoms and lube, if they didn't want me to use them they should have said otherwise."</p><p>"Condoms?" Percy asked, visibly swallowing. Nico grinned, pulling Percy's shirt up around his head.</p><p>"For things like <em>sex</em>, Perseus." He smirked.</p><p>"Se-sex?"</p><p>"Yes, sex," Nico unbuttoned Percy's pants and let them drop and pool around his ankles. "Intercourse, it's been called on more than one occasion I believe." He ran a hand up Percy's bare leg until he felt the cotton of boxers. "Which we won't be having, but it's still fun to think about. There, that wasn't so hard was it?"</p><p>Percy blinked, "Wh-what?"</p><p>"I stand corrected." Nico observed, "Looks pretty hard to me." He grinned. "Oop, I was wrong twice, kinda big too." He stuck his tongue out at Percy and grinned.</p><p>"What?" Percy asked again, absolutely befuddled.</p><p>"Well, at least you can think with one head." He laughed, pressing himself against Percy and his erection. "Get in the bed."</p><p>"But—but you just said we weren't gonna…"</p><p>Nico smirked again, "For sleep, you pervert. I was about to go to sleep before you Spiderman'd your way in here,"</p><p>"But you undressed me!" Percy replied, but he didn't complain when Nico pulled him towards the bed. "Undressed me, Nico!"</p><p>"And apparently you say things twice for emphasis," Nico said, pushing Percy onto the bed. "Emphasis!" When he saw that Percy didn't get the reference he rolled his eyes and cut off the lamp. He crawled under the covers and put his arms around Percy's chest. After a few moments of silence he felt Percy's body untense and he smiled gently in the dark. "I'm glad you showed up, Spiderman."</p><p>"You know I'd do anything for you, Gwen." Percy answered.</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "You know Peter kills Gwen in the comics right?"</p><p>"Shhh." Percy shushed. "I still can't hear you, since all the blood is no longer in my head." Nico resisted grabbing Percy by the manhood, though the urge was strong.</p><p>"You are going to have to talk to your girlfriend soon, I am a sexual creature and I swear to god I will literally bang you to death if this keeps up." Which is when Percy rolled on top of him, said erection digging into his hips.</p><p>"Maybe we can fool around, just a little?" He asked, his voice like a whine.</p><p>Nico yawned, though he appreciated the warm, hard body against him. He ran his hands down Percy's strong back, resting them on the firm buttocks he found waiting for him. "Believe me I want to." Percy kissed his neck and Nico involuntarily ground upward, Percy moaned into his ear. "Is this pay back for me undressing you?"</p><p>"That and I'm horny." Percy answered, grinning against Nico's neck.</p><p>"You're not the only one." Nico moaned. "Can't it wait till the morning? You make it so hard to think. I know I was teasing you but this isn't fair." Percy bit down on his neck and Nico's fingernails raked the skin of his back.</p><p>"Alright," Percy chuckled deeply in his ear, "now we're even. But you promised me make-outs in the morning, and I think you're a man of your word." Percy ground down and Nico moaned again, feeling his own arousal coming to life. "Oops, I woke someone up."</p><p>Nico pushed Percy off of him, "Shut up and cuddle, dammit."</p><p>"Yes, sir." Percy's arms swept over his body and pulled Nico flush against him, their skin creating a comfortable, suddenly sleepy warmth. Nico felt lips kiss him behind his ear, "Good night, Nicky. Thanks for letting me stay over." Nico could still feel Percy's arousal, but at this angle underneath all the blankets with their heads on the pillows he felt suddenly exhausted again.</p><p>"I wouldn't say no to you sleeping over way more often," Nico answered, Percy chuckled quietly. He snuggled further into Percy, pulling the covers tighter over them. "Thanks for staying." They didn't fall asleep instantly, like in the fairytales, but Percy felt Nico's breathing even out not too much longer after that. He closed his own eyes, the thoughts that had been plaguing him put to rest for the moment. His brain was in a fuzzy sort of comfort and he was loathe to ruin it.</p><p>Finally he drifted off, his arms wrapped tightly around Nico, and a part of his brain wondered how he had gone so long without something like this, something so real and solid that he never felt the need to fake. But he was asleep before he started to think too much.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Percy woke up warm and happy, and it wasn't just the sort of happiness you get from those perfect drowsy mornings where the sun is drifting lazily into your room and the world is quiet. Percy wasn't even in his own room, so it couldn't have been that. It was something much, much more.</p><p>There was a snoring boy laying about six inches across the bed from him, and Percy took this sleepy moment to study Nico.</p><p>His midnight colored hair was tousled upwards into a mass of swooping, curly bed-head. His nose was pinched from the way he was lying on his own arm, and his lips were parted to allow him to admit such breathy, small snores. Percy's eyes lingered on that mouth for a moment, so pretty and pink in the morning sunlight, and asleep Nico looked so young, cherubic to say the least.</p><p>Percy hadn't seen him so peaceful or serene since he'd gotten back into town. Given it had only been about three weeks, almost.</p><p>Still, there was nothing more tranquil and reaffirming than watching the relaxed expression on Nico's face. Percy let his eyes trail down, in the semi-dark of the lamplight Nico had been only a warm body against him, but now he saw the boy full fledged and unabashed in the sun. Percy's eyes raked over healing scars, both old and newer, like intricate patterns with no design interrupting Nico's beautiful skin. He remembered a few days prior when Nico had yanked his shirt back down, insisting that Percy focus elsewhere on his body. Suddenly it felt like there were butterflies in Percy's stomach as he looked on.</p><p>The scars weren't red and angry as if just made, but there was something far sadder about the most faded ones. He couldn't even focus on the fact that Nico was half naked, or that even with the scars his body was slim and soft, only that at some point he had been one of the things in Nico's life to cause this to happen. He reached out a hand and in a very gentle manner and he ran his fingers across the newest of the injuries. The skin there was just barely past scabbed, nearly healed now, still it had that puckered, almost leathery feel new scars hold.</p><p>Tentatively he ran his fingers down the rest of the self-inflicted abrasions, each one felt different, some were soft and some were almost hard leather, all at different stages of healing. A feeling welled up inside of Percy, the butterflies fluttering upward, turning instead into a hot air balloon that burnt at the back of his throat and forced moisture into his eyes. He couldn't describe it, but it was a feeling of pain and longing and of guilt. If he had never shunned Nico a few years back these marks wouldn't have been here, he thought to himself.</p><p>He stared at the injuries sadly, and then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to one, "I'm sorry." He whispered to no one in particular, perhaps talking to past Nico—whom he felt he'd wronged—or even talking to the scars themselves. He <em>was </em>terribly sorry. It was like a great decomposition on his heart when he thought of himself that day and the way he'd acted, rotting away at his insides in the most painful manner.</p><p>He kissed Nico's side again and a hand found his hair.</p><p>"Hey," Percy looked up, "I already forgave you, dumbass." Nico's voice was thick as syrup with sleep. He ran his hand through Percy's hair, "I never said you were relieved of cuddle duty, now get back up here." But, Percy stared at Nico's side for a moment longer and Nico sighed. "Don't stare, okay? It makes me uncomfortable." Nico looked away, "Besides, I don't want you to be here, in this bed, if its only because you feel bad for me."</p><p>"No!" Percy sat up, "No, that's not why I'm here." He said moving up the bed to lay beside Nico. "Last night was…it was amazing. I haven't slept the whole night in the same bed as someone else since…" He paused, thinking, "Well, since before you left. You're the only person I've ever shared a bed with like this." He laid his head on Nico's chest and the boy's fingers found his hair again. "That feels nice," He admitted and closed his eyes. Nico's heartbeat in his ear while his hair was played with and the stillness of the moment occurred to Percy. He could have fallen back to sleep like this. But, laying here, with only their boxers separating them, a real question popped into his mind. "How did you come to terms with it?" He asked. "The liking guys thing, that is?"</p><p>Nico was quiet for a moment, his fingers absently raking through Percy's dark brunet hair, he watched the light catch it, lighting some strands auburn, others dark brown, and still others black. Then he spoke, "It shouldn't be something you have to come to terms with, I don't think." He said, his voice rumbling in Percy's head from lying on his chest. "There's nothing wrong with liking guys, Percy. 'Coming to terms with it' makes it sound like something you have to be resigned to it. Like, you're being punished."</p><p>Percy sighed, running his hand down Nico's bare stomach, "I didn't mean it like that." Percy said, "I've been taught my entire life that one day I'll find the girl of my dreams, one day I'll settle down and have kids, and all that stuff. Then I discover this side of myself, and I'm just trying to understand it."</p><p>Nico's fingers didn't stop, but they hesitated. Percy looked over at him, "I'll help you understand. If you want?" It took a moment but Percy nodded. "You can find the <em>person </em>of your dreams, you can still have kids, still live that white picket fence, two-story house dream. If you don't like girls in, like, a sexual way that's okay. This feels natural, doesn't it?"</p><p>"I—" Percy looked away, his stubble rubbing against Nico's smooth chest. Percy trembled on top of him and Nico put both arms around him. Nico heard the sob before he felt the tears, "Nico," Percy's voice was a whisper, barely there, "I think I might be gay." He trembled even harder and Nico held him tighter. "I don't—when me and Annabeth are like this it just feels forced, and my mind wanders, and I don't mean for it to, but this is so different. I don't—I don't know. Every part of me wants to like women like I'm supposed to, but I just can't!" He sounded frustrated, which explained the tears. He wasn't sad, but angry with himself.</p><p>"Only you can know you, Percy." Nico told him. "I'm not an expert on sexuality, and its way too early in the morning for me to even try to pretend like I am, but you don't choose who you like—you can't. You can choose who you're with, but not who you love. I've never been attracted to girls, but I used to see you kissing a lot of them and you seemed to enjoy it."</p><p>"Because I thought I was supposed to, really." Percy replied into Nico's chest, Nico's petting hesitated again. "Don't stop, it feels good." Nico chuckled and grabbed a handful of Percy's hair again. "I just…I really just need some defining moment."</p><p>"You might be bi?" Nico suggested. "There are an unlimited amount of possibilities."</p><p>"I know, but I want to define it for me, I want to know." Percy was suddenly on all fours and he climbed the short distance up to Nico's face. Nico's hand had been through midstroke of Percy's hair and was now resting on the other boy's arm. "I think I'm gay, but I've always thought I was straight up till you kissed me that first time. Everything since then just hasn't felt right. I don't feel it with Annabeth, not anything romantic anyway, not like I should after all this time, but I really feel something with you. Is that so bad? Wanting to know?"</p><p>"Not at all," Nico said with a small smile. Percy dipped down quickly, catching Nico by surprise as he kissed him.</p><p>"I knew you'd understand, you always do." He grinned, leaning down he placed his lips atop Nico's again, this time kissing the boy much sweeter, much longer.</p><p>Suddenly there was a jarring knock on the door which made Percy jump, "Just a sec," Nico said coolly, laughing a little. He leaned over the side of the bed and handed Percy a shirt. He laughed again when he saw that it was about two sizes too small. He snuggled down into Percy's side, feeling the boy anxiously trying to find some exit as he kept looking left and right like some great door would rise from the floor to allow him leave. "Calm down, it's just my mom." Nico elbowed him. "You can pretend to be sleep if you want." But before Percy could reply Nico said, "Come in!" And the door slowly opened.</p><p>"Oh! I didn't know you had company, sor—is that Percy?" Nico looked over and Percy was hamming up a job of fake sleeping. A completely unbelievable snore came out of his lips.</p><p>"Yup." Nico laughed. "He stayed over last night."</p><p>"Funny, I didn't hear him come in, and your dad and I were downstairs for most of the night." She replied.</p><p>"I almost didn't hear him come in myself, he scared me half to death," Nico said with a small grin, looking over at Percy. Maria smiled for a moment at her son, and then at what she thought was the sleeping form of Percy.</p><p>"I don't suppose I'll remind you that you're grounded," Maria countered, but she didn't seem too upset, "Just don't sleep the day away, Paul is barbecuing later, remember? You'll have to give Percy back eventually," Nico chuckled, but agreed, "Good, I'll be downstairs trying to get something to grow in the garden. I can't even get anything to bud in this heat." She sighed. "Anyway, your father will be back from his publisher's soon, try not to bother him too much he's been very upset about his new deadline and how behind he is on it."</p><p>"Me and Percy'll probably just hang out up here all day, or go see if Paul needs any help setting up," Nico shrugged.</p><p>"You two should go outside eventually, I know kids your age are loathe to seeing the sun, but it won't hurt you."</p><p>Her son laughed, "You're my mom, you're supposed to tell me to go outside and play."</p><p>"And you're supposed to listen, it's a moot point." His mother replied.</p><p>"Maybe if you let me borrow the car…?" Nico grinned.</p><p>"No," Maria grabbed the doorknob, "grounded. You are. It's like I have to remind you every few hours. And you're learner's won't let you drive without your father or myself in the car. Again, a thing I have to keep reminding you of."</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "Worth a try."</p><p>Maria smiled, "Always worth a try." She turned and walked out of the room.</p><p>Nico looked at Percy, whose breathing had slowed down and whose fake acting seemed a lot more realistic. Sighing he decided not to wake the other boy up. Instead he crawled out of bed carefully and grabbed a towel. Moving from his room he made his way to the bathroom.</p><p>Once inside he closed the door behind him and looked in the mirror out of force of habit. A small, blackish-blue nip sat very visibly against his neck. He raised a finger to it and instantly remembered Percy kissing him there, he hadn't felt the teeth sink in or any sucking, but somehow the boy had marked him.</p><p>The hickey was the worst of his afflictions, Nico's bed head was a little more tousled than usual, and his lips were a bit swollen a bit from a night of quick, hard kisses, but aside from that the only other thing was the moony look on his face. The grin on his lips was small, but much larger than most of his smiles. His face was going to start hurting from all of this smiling he was doing, he thought.</p><p>Setting his towel down on the counter he turned to the tub and cranked the water on. Stripping he got in the shower.</p><hr/><p>Percy woke up to the sound of Nico's door being opened. "Did I fall asleep?" He asked rubbing his eyes.</p><p>"I guess you did, but you definitely convinced my mom you weren't awake, so it worked out." Nico smirked. Percy took in Nico's appearance, his hair was wet and his body was dripping water still. Nico's smirk widened as he observed Percy watching him. He removed his towel and set to drying his hair, Percy's jaw nearly dropped from its socket. "Something wrong, Percy?" Nico wondered, toweling at his hair as if he didn't have a care in the world. Percy stammered something unintelligible but ultimately seemed unable to speak. Nico turned and walked around the bed, his skinny body long and desirable despite the self-inflicted scars running up the insides of his thighs and along his sides. Percy watched the movement in the other boy's pert backside, he unabashedly stared at Nico's soft, uncovered penis and the thick tuft of hair above it. The rest of Nico's body seemed somewhat hairless, but his pelvis was unshaven. "See something you like?" He asked.</p><p>"I—I—" Percy tried and Nico laughed. He opened his bedside drawer and quickly pulled out and on a pair of boxer briefs. Then he crawled back into bed, his hair still clinging wetly to his forehead.</p><p>"It's like you've never seen a naked guy before." Nico said, climbing into Percy's lap. Percy's warmth met his skin that was still tepid from the hot shower meeting the cold air of the morning and Nico pressed himself hard against Percy's front.</p><p>"Not one that looks like you." Percy admitted, grabbing Nico's hips. "You're—" But he stopped himself and blushed deeply.</p><p>Nico raised an eyebrow, "I'm what?" Percy bit his lips and Nico grinned. He pushed the other older boy back against the bed until he was laying on top of him, then he grabbed Percy's wrists and held them above his head; he rolled himself forward, his crotch undulating against Percy's. "Say it."</p><p>Percy moaned, "You're really sexy." he admitted, his hands clenching.</p><p>Nico laughed. "Why thank you, I grew all of my own body parts." He pressed his head against Percy's shoulder, nipping at the skin there, he didn't relent his undulating. "I haven't had a boy in my bed for a long time, why do you have to have a girlfriend?"</p><p>"Right now I'm kind of regretting that decision." Percy groaned.</p><p>"You and me both," Nico admitted. "I keep forgetting how long its been, and when I try to tease you I end up torturing myself."</p><p>"You could stop grinding on me, that might help some."</p><p>"It probably would, but I don't want to." Percy's grip on his hips began moving backward until his hands were grabbing a firm hold on Nico's buttocks. "You're right, I should stop." Nico said after a moment as Percy's fingers began to tug at his waistband.</p><p>"Then stop." He replied, though neither appeared to be stopping anytime soon. He ran a hand up Nico's stomach, looking enraptured by the feel of his skin. Nico leaned down and Percy helped him grind more, directing his movements.</p><p>"I don't know if I can."</p><p>"I don't know if I want you to," Percy returned, he sucked in a breath of air through his teeth and resisted the urge to grab Nico by the back of the neck and kiss him furiously. Nico put his hands on Percy's chest, his eyes were squeezed shut. He took a deep breath and nodded.</p><p>"Okay." He said, "Okay., I'm gonna stop." And he put everything he had into dismounting the young man's lap. Percy stared at himself, worried if this continued that he would get blue balls, which he said aloud.</p><p>"Oh, me too." Nico said, "I'm going to explode." There was a thought that crossed his mind and suddenly Nico was laughing.</p><p>Percy looked over at his laughing compatriot, "Is teasing me really that funny?" He asked with a bite in his voice.</p><p>"No," Nico said around his laughter, "but I would be the world's worst gay man in the world if I didn't say, 'I wish I could quit you' right now."</p><p>Percy grimaced, then he rolled his eyes and joined in the mirth, "I think the exact opposite of that is true. You're the worst for even bringing it up."</p><p>Nico turned so he was facing Percy again and leveled the older teen with a heavy look, he placed a hand on Percy's thigh and in a very serious voice he said, "Damn it, I wish I could quit you." But, he couldn't make it halfway through the sentence without smiling, and by the time he'd said it he was laughing again.</p><p>"You're definitely killing my boner." Percy said with a small smile.</p><p>"I'm trying." Nico said, turned away from him again. "My normal M.O. for situations like this is "fuck the guy stupid" and I can't exactly do that." Percy realized that Nico was having a difficult time not being able to touch him the way he wanted to, and that his friend was trying his damndest to not be the "other person" in Percy's relationship to Annabeth. They had pushed the line so many times now that Percy wasn't sure if it was even worth salvaging. But, it was important to Nico—even if the boy's urges would be the death of both of them.</p><p>"But you can get really close, apparently."</p><p>"Hey, you were the one who climbed in through my window just before I was about to…" He made a lewd hand motion, "you know? Have some alone time? You interrupted that."</p><p>"You said you were going to sleep, you didn't say you were about to masturbate!" Percy exclaimed, laughing.</p><p>"I'm not just going to announce to you in the middle of the night that I'm jacking off!" Nico replied, finding his own face flushed for once. "I can't keep—you're just too—fucking hell, look at you! How was I supposed to turn you away? Who even has a body like that? Who has a smile like that? Were you genetically engineered just to star in my fucking wet dreams, Percy?"</p><p>"You have wet dreams about me?" Percy grinned. Nico was glad he was facing the other way, his face was like a cherry now. "Wait, were you going to jack off thinking about me?"</p><p>"Not what I meant and you know it." Nico growled punching him hard in the chest.</p><p>"I know. It's just…I don't think I've ever thought about someone wanting me like that, you know? I figured Annabeth liked me because we were friends before, and I thought that was probably why you liked me? Not that I was that good looking."</p><p>" I <em>like</em> you, because you're a good guy; nice, smart, and funny. You've always known how to make me laugh and I always used to feel safe around you. It's hard not to fall for something like that. But it <em>really</em> doesn't hurt that you look like a Calvin Klein model. You're telling me you never realized that you are ridiculously good looking?"</p><p>Percy shrugged, "My mom tells me I'm handsome?"</p><p>"What!" Nico face-palmed. He stood. "I'm actually getting upset about all this. Wow. You are so nice and oblivious that I'm actually upset about it. Okay, I'm like this close to saying 'fuck it' and just sucking your dick and you don't even realize how hot you are?" He sighed. "I've gotta cool off. Put your clothes back on, that'll help the thinking process." He threw Percy's clothes at him. "Okay, no more fooling around, no more kissing, no more impromptu sleepovers unless you sleep on a pallet on the floor or something. Jesus, Perseus, if my balls get anymore blue I'm gonna fuck the mail man. Have you seen him? He's eighty at least."</p><p>Percy was laughing again, "I'm sorry I star in your wet dreams."</p><p>"Shirt. On. Now." Nico replied, clipping each word into its own sentence.</p><p>"Am I good? I've got to be good or else you wouldn't be so mad." Percy grinned.</p><p>"I will break your dick." Nico seethed.</p><p>"I bet you'd like that, being able to touch my dick," Percy winked.</p><p>Nico would have said more but there came another knock at the door, when the person on the other side did not wait for a response Nico knew it was his father. He always gave a courtesy knock and then about five seconds of time before he opened the door. Hades' head poked around the corner, "Good, you're both relatively decent. Percy your mother says that if you're going to sneak over to our place to please leave a note next time. Nico, if you're going to have Percy over clear it with your mother or me, you are, after all, still on punishment." The boys nodded, argument forgotten. "And in other news there is a young man who I believe is Perseus' friend, he's been waiting downstairs for quite some time now and I figured I would show him to your room, son."</p><p>"I—yeah, thanks, Dad."</p><p>"No problem." And just like that Hades was gone. In his stead was one Grover Underwood, who looked only mildly stoned.</p><p>"Dude," Grover said looking between Percy's semi nudity and Nico's. "I'm so glad you guys finally banged, I could cut that sexual tension with a knife."</p><p>"Grover, we didn't—"</p><p>"Nico, brother, your walls are so bare. We're gonna have to get you some posters or something." Grover continued on looking around the room. Nico rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Grover, Percy and I didn't do anything but sleep last night." He said. Grover shrugged.</p><p>"That's a shame, brother. Guess I can still cut that sexual tension then," He sat on Nico's bed beside a still half-naked Percy. "Oh, I invited Juni to the barbecue. I hope that's alright, Sally said I could. She—uh, she's actually still hanging around in your room, Perse, I told her I'd be right back. We thought you were home, I looked out your window and guess what I saw? You two all snuggled up."</p><p>Percy laughed, "Call her and tell her to come over here. It's Nico she wants to meet, she's met me a hundred times already." Percy said, watching Nico dress with an unashamed eye, and when the younger man had finally pulled his pants on he set to dressing himself as well.</p><p>"Right on," Grover smirked, he pulled his phone out and was on it in a matter of moments, "Babe? Yeah, we're at Nico's house. Just come on over. If a scary dude that looks kinda like a hot version of the grim reaper answers the door it's just Nico's dad. Yeah, no his mom is here too. She's kinda hot too." He looked over at Nico, "You've got hot parents, my friend. That explains a lot." Nico pulled a face but gave a tentative 'thank you', sure that somehow that was a roundabout compliment. "Yeah, okay. We'll see you in, like, two seconds. Okay. Love you too, babe." He hung up. "She's on the way." He said with a grin. "You're gonna love Juni, Nico."</p><p>"She's gotta be pretty cool if she's going out with you." Nico replied, elbowing Grover. Then he looked towards the bed to see Percy still just sitting there in his boxers. He knelt and threw the other young man's pants at him. "Put those on." Percy obliged him and Nico sat on the bed again, leaning against him.</p><p>"You two're looking pretty cozy," Grover observed. "Anything I should know about?"</p><p>"I saw Nico naked." Percy piped up with a goofy grin.</p><p>"I'm jealous." Grover smirked looking over at Nico, who didn't look the least bit ashamed. "You sure you two aren't making the beast with two backs? Percy looks way too chill for his own good."</p><p>"I would know if we'd had sex." Nico said, "Because Percy would be head-over-heels in love with me."</p><p>"Someone's confident." Percy squeezed Nico against his side, waggling his eyebrows. Nico found himself chuckling, squirming to get away but being held firmly in place.</p><p>Grover laughed. Then there came a small knock at the door and he nearly jumped from his spot. "Juni's here." Nico watched as Grover scrambled over to the door, he couldn't recall ever having given permission for Juniper to come over, or for Grover for that matter—hell, he hadn't given permission for Percy to be here, but he found he suddenly enjoyed these people in his room.</p><p>He watched as Juniper came in and the first thing he noticed was how wire thin she was, her body frame could only be described as delicate. She reminded him of a sapling, spindly and slender. She was a head shorter than him, but that was a fact easily forgettable when staring at her, she seemed to stand on everyone's level. Her eyes were forest green, dark and sparkly, and they seemed to glimmer with some unspoken laughter. Her face was in the shape of an oval, her eyes large, like a doe, and her nose was small. Her lips were full and naturally a dark shade of pink, as she wore no make-up.</p><p>Her skin was a light bronze, as if she spent a bit of time in the sun but never enough for it to her completely to the bone, and her hair was long, thick, and dark. It was wrapped in a messy bun at the back of her head, a few loose bangs fell in front of her eyes and she smiled a big, warm, genuine smile. It was something that was a bit heart stopping, the kind of thing that catches you off guard like an overly strong gust of wind, or, better yet, a blow to the head.</p><p>She was a pretty girl, earthly and mature, she seemed smart just by appearances, and laid back, but when she smiled it was like time stopping. "Hi," She spoke in a voice that could make flowers bloom. "I'm Juniper, you must be Nico."</p><p>Nico jumped out of the bed, ignoring Percy's protest of him moving, and he shook the girl's hand. "I am, yeah. It's nice to meet you." He said finding himself returning her smile.</p><p>"Grover's told me all about you, he goes on about you actually. How cute you are, makes me feel like I'm gonna be replaced." She smirked, and Nico found himself blushing. "Oh, you <em>are </em>cute." She pinched his cheeks suddenly, laughing.</p><p>Nico could hear Grover behind his girlfriend, "Perce, brother, this threesome is gonna happen."</p><p>Simultaneously Percy and Juniper said, "Shut up, Grover." And Nico couldn't help but laugh.</p><hr/><p>The Jackson backyard was relatively the same, Nico thought, it was New York so it wasn't huge, but it was Queens so it was moderate. The grass was cut low, and Nico remembered that Percy had been mowing not too long ago. There were a few patio chairs, a table, the grill (which was huge, Paul seemed extremely excited to show off his grill to Hades, who was being surprisingly friendly) and decorative stepping stones that led to their old tree house.</p><p>Nico was taken aback by the sight of it, more than he thought he would have been. Suddenly it felt like everyone's eyes were on him again and he took a deep breath. "I thought you would have torn that old thing down by now." He said to Percy with a shaky voice. He felt an arm around his shoulder and tried his hardest not to look like he was leaning into it.</p><p>"Of course not," Percy replied, "I've actually been keeping it up, do you wanna go look inside?"</p><p>"I—" Nico stopped, realizing he was taking a step forward. He glanced over at Juniper and Grover. He liked Grover immensely, and Juniper seemed really very nice so far but this wasn't their memory. "Just us?" He asked, then he winced realizing how that must have sounded. "Sorry." He apologized almost immediately after to their companions.</p><p>Grover laughed, "It's no problems, Neeks. We don't mind perusing with the 'rents, do we Juni?"</p><p>"It'll give Grover and me some time to ourselves too," Juniper said, smiling a dimple faced smile. "It feels like I haven't seen him in so long."</p><p>"Then it's decided, come on Nicky." Percy took Nico by the hand, which didn't go unnoticed by their parents, and led him to the tree that had seemed so much taller a few years ago. Nico stared at the board nailed to the tree that were meant to act as climbing aids.</p><p>"You first." He told Percy, who began climbing like it was his nature. He was halfway up the tree before Nico even had a hand on a board.</p><p>"Come on!" Percy smirked behind him. Nico sighed and pulled up, one hand after the other, pushing until he was following closely behind the older young man. He found himself in the old tree house before long, the climb much shorter than he remembered as well. The inside of the small tree house looked much the same as he remembered it. The walls were a little more drawn in, the wood a little creakier, but altogether it was the same. He noticed it was empty whereas before they had kept books and comics, a television that ran into the house, and an unnamed amount of blankets around.</p><p>"It hasn't changed," Nico observed.</p><p>"Yeah, I told you, I've been keeping it up." Percy smiled. "I don't come in here a lot, but I replace the wood when it needs it, and I don't know. I still think it's pretty cool." He sat against the far wall and Nico sat at the one across from him.</p><p>A few moments passed, awkward and silent, before Nico said, "A lot of memories in here,"</p><p>"Yeah, did we ever go anywhere else?" Percy answered with a wistful sort of smile on his face. "I still do my homework up here when I need to get away."</p><p>"It would be a shame if you didn't." Nico said with a laugh that bordered on awkward itself. More moments passed. Nico cleared his throat. The weight of the fact that this was the last place they had been civil to one another seemed to be pressing down. Nico looked around and could see the places he had read, slept, played, and laughed beside Percy. Each corner of this place held a different memory, and yet they were all overshadowed by one in particular.</p><p>It was Percy that said, "You know, the last time we were in here you kissed me."</p><p>Nico looked up, his vision leaping from the past to stare at Percy. "True," He replied. "I got called a fag for it, but it happened."</p><p>"I think if you did it again the situation would probably work out very differently." Nico wasn't sure if it was the best idea, he stared hard into Percy's aquamarine eyes but they never faltered, they never looked away. Percy's mouth thinned, and he bit his bottom lip. "If you don't think you're up for it, <em>I </em>could kiss <em>you </em>this time. I don't like having what happened in here looming over our heads, and I hate seeing that expression on your face like you're living it all over again. When I woke up beside you this morning I thought we had gotten past it completely, but I can see we haven't."</p><p>Nico sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm trying to work on getting past it. I really am."</p><p>Percy crawled on his knees, probably unable to stand up completely in this place as he seemed entirely too big for it now, until he was directly in front of Nico. "Then let me help." He leaned down, and Nico realized that since he was sitting against the wall he couldn't back away from this kiss. No matter how much he didn't want it because of the memories associated with this place, he wanted it all the more at the same time. He knew he was lost when Percy's lips hit his and a fever of desire burnt from the very pit of his stomach at the feeling.</p><p>Nico didn't mean to intensify the kiss, but the fact that Percy was being careless in his affections made Nico's mind grow hazy and his own thoughts hard to comprehend. He found himself pushing off the wall to kneel in front of the already kneeling young man. He draped his arms over Percy's shoulders and pulled him in so that their lips were almost mashed together. There was no space between their bodies, and Percy was grinding his hips forward into Nico's pelvis. His hands wandered under the younger teen's shirt, this time not discouraged by the feel of those scars found beneath, if anything they spurred him on.</p><p>Finally the need for air became too great, though that didn't stop either one of them from simply breathing and returning to smaller pecks on the lips. Nico bent his head and bit Percy on the neck, very gently sucking at his pulse line. Percy stifled a moan, his hand snaking around to grab handfuls of Nico's ass. Nico continued his assault on Percy's neck, dragging his teeth over the sensitive flesh, moving from one side to the other leaving a trail of heated kisses.</p><p>It was when he felt Percy's hands on the buttons of his pants that he pulled back. Blinking into clarity, though for his efforts he received another scalding kiss on the lips, it was hard and full of want like other parts of Percy. He put his hands on Percy's shoulders and pushed back, "Okay," He said with a semi-forced chuckle. "That more than compensates for what happened last time."</p><p>Percy's face was still clouded with lust, his lips puffy from the bruising kisses, his eyes half-lidded and gorgeous, and his manhood still poking Nico in the leg obtrusively. "We could make up for it more." He suggested, though it seemed less like a request and more like a thing that was happening. He moved forward, almost surging forward, pushing Nico gently down to the floor. Laying between Nico's legs he ground down again, a sound halfway between a growl and a moan escaping his lips.</p><p>"I don't think this is a good idea," Nico replied, his voice betraying him with its breathy neediness, Percy bit his neck in response. Nico's eyes almost fluttered closed, then he remembered himself, "Percy, stop." Percy stopped. "This is a phenomenally bad idea. Our parents and friends are within hearing distance, there is a barbecue going on. Not to mention I'm not going to do it in our old tree house. Not with everyone around anyway."</p><p>"We don't have to do anything, I was just…" Percy stopped, his erection was more than enough evidence that he was lying. "Yeah, you're right, we should stop. I don't want to, but we should." He backed up enough to sit down and Nico sat up. "I have blue balls so bad."</p><p>"And I don't? I don't think I've ever interrupted you before you got the chance to relieve some of this frustration."</p><p>"You could have taken care of it, I wouldn't have minded." Percy grinned in front of him.</p><p>"You're getting bold for someone who just came out." Nico replied, he leaned forward and pecked Percy on the lips, though a small glance outside of the tree house door gave him a glimpse of something, luckily he could see down on the party but they had to be staring directly up to see them. "And for someone who's got a girlfriend. Is Annabeth a pretty blonde girl, wears baseball caps? Kinda sporty?"</p><p>"Uh," Percy turned slightly so he could look out the door cut into the tree house, "yes, that would be my girlfriend. What is she doing here?" Nico noted there wasn't a hint of fear in his voice this time, but it could have been for the reason that they were virtually invisible thanks to how high up they were.</p><p>"We should probably go back down, they'll be wondering why we stayed up here for so long. Besides, you can introduce me to the love of your life." Percy shot him a withering glare. "Only kidding." Nico chuckled. "I still want you to introduce me though, maybe I'll apologize for turning her boyfriend gay."</p><p>"You will do no such thing." Percy crawled to the door and Nico pinched his ass as he did, causing an incredibly manly yelp to come from his mouth. He watched Percy climb down, he was still glaring daggers at Nico but Nico only blew him a kiss. Then Nico followed him down.</p><p>Once on the ground the party seemed to orient itself towards them, Annabeth, who had been talking to Grover and Juniper, turned. She smiled when she saw Percy and paid Nico little attention. "Hey, Perce." Nico could tell instantly that she was infatuated deeply with Percy from the way she smiled. "I came by cause I had some time off from working with my dad, you didn't answer my text though."</p><p>"I was showing Nico our old tree house, Nico this is Annabeth. Annabeth, Nico." Percy introduced. Annabeth looked at him as if noticing him for the first time, she smiled politely and Nico couldn't blame her. He got all moony-eyed when Percy was around too.</p><p>"Nice to meet you, I feel like Percy's mentioned you once or twice before." She said.</p><p>"I hope so, we were pretty close before I moved," Nico replied, watching Percy's reaction out of the corner of his eye. "He talked about you too, I hear you're the smartest person in America?" Annabeth laughed.</p><p>"You did not tell him that." She accused playfully, Percy grinned and shrugged. Nico felt his heart sink a bit. With all of his efforts, he was still the other person. Still interfering in their relationship. "I'm not the smartest person in America, I'm not even the smartest person at this party. Is that Hades di Angelo? How does Paul know him? Did they go to school together or something?"</p><p>"Actually he's my father." Nico informed her, he watched her jaw drop. "Would you like to meet him?"</p><p>"He's kind of intimidating." Percy put in.</p><p>"In a sexy way."</p><p>"Grover, please, <em>please</em> stop complimenting my dad." Nico shuddered.</p><p>"I'm actually a little star struck," Annabeth said. "Normally I don't read teen fiction but your dad writes on such a human level, his prose is phenomenal, he deconstructs every cliché and makes them his own, he's kind of a genius. I've always felt his talents were wasted on his selected audience, but yet his work reaches—"</p><p>"You're doing the thing again, sweetheart." Percy told her. 'The thing' was when Annabeth went on excited tangents, which Percy normally let her do, but Nico never seemed too thrilled when it came to dealing with his dad's fans. "Besides, you could be telling him all of this."</p><p>Annabeth blushed and Nico found that he couldn't dislike her, she seemed to be a genuinely good person. He thought that someone as smart as the others claimed her to be might look down on people of normal intelligence, or that she would be all over Percy as soon as she saw him, or that she would do something—anything—to make him instantly hate her, but she had been nothing but polite, she even liked his dad's work. Which only made their situation that much worse. "I—yeah, meeting him would be fun. If you don't mind, Nico?"</p><p>"Me?" Nico was taken back a bit. "I don't care, I see him all the time. He's old news to me by now."</p><p>Annabeth laughed, "I meant would you introduce him to me?"</p><p>"Oh," Nico oh'd. "Yeah, sure. Come on."</p><p>Percy watched them walk away, "That's a weird sight." Grover said. "Your girlfriend and your boyfriend getting along."</p><p>"Shut up, Grover." Percy punched him in the arm. He did have to admit that it was bizarre. Annabeth laughed at something Nico was saying, and Percy felt guilt again for the second time that day.</p><p>He was going to have to tell Annabeth about Nico, and he was going to have to do it soon. Grover put a hand on his shoulder, "Your pants are unzipped, brother." Percy looked down and Grover laughed. "I knew you two were doing something up there."</p><p>Percy rolled his eyes, "Shut up, Grover."</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Monday, which meant Nico had to wake up early for his session. He wasn't sure why he was still going; probably because his parents were still sending him. But he felt like he truly didn't have any more problems. He was perfectly fine.</p><p>Getting out of bed he smiled when he looked across the lawns and taped to Percy's window in big bold letters was a message that said: HAVE A GOOD DAY! It felt like it was gonna be a good day. Every day since he and Percy had been—whatever it was they were doing—had been good—better than good.</p><p>Nico even liked Annabeth.</p><p>At the party he'd felt guilty every time she smiled so nicely at him, the fact that she seemed genuinely interested in him didn't help the guilt, either. She was a really sweet person and he had been tonguing her boyfriend for a little while now. That might have screamed not okay, but he was in a blissful state of ignorance and he was completely okay with that.</p><p>Stretching Nico decided to forgo taking a shower, considering he had bathed before bed last night. Sunday had been a decidedly boring day, Percy was been unable to hang because of some swim thing, apparently he was still training regardless of the fact that the school year was over. Nico had thought about texting Grover and asking to hang out with him, but he was relatively sure Grover and Juniper wanted to spend the day alone, so he had ended up finally setting up his room. Some of his favorite movie posters hung on the walls, as well as an assortment of DVDs and handheld games, which he admittedly didn't play much anymore. The few books he had brought with him found their way onto his nightstand, and if his mom hadn't've just picked up the clothes off of his floor and done laundry it would have looked just like his room in California.</p><p>He looked at the clock, there was still time before his parents came knocking at his door and he was free to do whatever he pleased.</p><p>But like a two trains colliding it occurred to Nico all at once that since he had not been going to his therapy everyday he'd shirked the assignment Kirshbaum had given him. He had spoken to Percy about how he had faired since the years his family had been away, but he hadn't written the reasons for his self-harm, he'd not even thought about it.</p><p>Was there a particular reason, he wondered.; one above-all-else thing that beat out the rest? It felt more like a multitude of little things, and sometimes not so little things, and none of them—now that he thought about it—felt as if they could be put into the proper words his doctor was looking for.</p><p>His depression was inarticulate, or perhaps it was that he lacked the words to articulate it. Maybe he could tell Kirshbaum that, that there was no <em>one</em> reason for his self-harm, that he had only started drinking and cutting himself and sleeping around and doing drugs after it felt like all of his emotions had come to a head, brimming just beneath the surface of his skin where they would rip him apart, and that sometimes it just felt like he could relieve the pressure of those emotions was by cutting himself open.</p><p>He knew how juvenile that sounded, but he had squandered the week away by not doing his so far only physically assigned therapy work and his parents and his doctor were all going to be pretty unhappy with him because of it, so maturity be damned.</p><p>He sighed, grabbing a piece of paper off of his computer desk and quickly scribbling down what he had just come up with, hoping that it was adequate but knowing that Lupa would be able to see through him almost instantly with her ferocious and unwavering gaze. Sighing once more in resignation he cast a glance to Percy's window, the sign seemed almost supercilious now.</p><p>He ran to the bathroom with towel in hand, deciding that he could freshen up just a bit, if only to make his time come and go by more quickly.</p><p>Dr. Kirshbaum's face showed her unhappiness as she scanned Nico's "list". Her eyebrows were knit together in consternation and she was frowning deeply. "You did the assignment," She finally spoke after a good two and a half minutes of silence. This time her pause was but a moment, though to Nico it felt much longer. "But it seems rushed, and it is rather short considering the topic. You either did this this morning or the afternoon I assigned it and never picked it up again to work on. I'll refrain from asking how long this took you, simply because I feel like the answer would offend me." Nico looked away, reprimanded.</p><p>"Children—or, I should say young adults, such as yourself all come to the conclusion that self-harm is a proper release, and you say that you cannot articulate the emotion, or emotions, that led you to wish to do so, an answer I am not entirely satisfied with but certainly a valid one. Emotion is often a difficult thing to transcribe. However, I can clearly see, if not by the shortness then by the sloppy haste with which this was written that you clearly did not take me at face value when I said I expected a written assignment. What I am trying to get you to understand is that there are alternatives to self-harm, such as therapy or, in less than severe cases, acquiring a hobby. But I believe the saddest part is that many young people feel trapped and instead of fully thinking out the consequences of their actions act rashly, or in fear. In some cases young people or adults truly do have no one else to turn to, which is why I became a psychologist.</p><p>"You may not think I want to help you, Nico, or that I'm only doing this for the money but you would be wrong. You have seldom taken me or my requests seriously this past month, were I any other doctor I would have referred you to another specialist by now, but <em>were </em>I another therapist you would no doubt end up in this office either way. So, to sum up: you seem to have forgotten that I have the power to keep you here throughout your Summer vacation, I believe that is truly the only key phrase to which you respond with any sort of coherence. In an effort for you to save face and, humor me, to placate my ego since you so blatantly ignored me, tell me, Nico is there any particular reason you did not do the assignment?"</p><p>Nico wasn't sure how to answer, he was embarrassed because Kirshbaum was implying that he had purposefully and malevolently ignored her, which wasn't true, and he was slightly upset because he was unsure if, even over a week, he could have given a much better answer. "I did the assignment." He said. "You're holding my answer in your hand, doc. You never said I was supposed to work on it, only to do it. I did it." Nico was defensive, if only because he felt slightly threatened.</p><p>The smile that crossed Kirshbaum's face was chilling, all the light flooded from her eyes and they flattened to an annoyed black. "Using technicalities, Nico, will not suffice here. You were fully aware that this new arrangement of weekly sessions was not just so you could enjoy your Summer, but also so you could reflect on your till now prescribed depression."</p><p>"I'm not depressed anymore." Nico shrugged. "Maybe that's why I couldn't do it?"</p><p>"Because Percy is returning your feelings?" Kirshbaum sat back, she crossed her legs and adjusted the bottom hem of her over-the-knee black skirt. Nico was silent. "Perhaps you craved attention, or better yet the attention of this boy, so strongly that you mutilated yourself, is that what you're saying? And now that he's giving you that attention you're better? Do you think that makes you better? If anything it is a much worse alternative. If Percy, who I've been told is tentative at most at showing you affection when in the presence of others and who is still holding on to his relationship with a young woman, decides that you're not his type, if he bullies you and calls you that awful word again, what will you do? Curl back inside yourself and hide? Or worse, take your self-harm to the next level? Is he worth that? Are you so immature that you allow another human being to have so much unrealized control over your life? It would be one thing if he had purposefully given you no out, but what you're suggesting leaves much to be desired."</p><p>Nico sank further into his seat.</p><p>"I am severely disappointed with you this week, Mr. di Angelo. So for the next forty-five minutes we will discuss, in detail, the reasons you felt led up to your self-harm, since listing particular reasons is too inconceivable we'll instead work our way around that and, say, go back to the first time you cut yourself." She leaned forward, her eyes cold and black, analyzing every movement in his face.</p><p>Nico was seldom at a loss for words when it came to his psychiatrists, but he found himself stammering out a reply, and his mood only seemed to sour as the minutes ticked on.</p><hr/><p>By the end of his session Nico was the most upset he had been since returning to New York. Kirshbaum laid into him, even after he admitted that he'd simply forgotten to do the assignment, claiming that Nico's entire reason for even being back in the first place was his mental health, and that if he was going to put that aside just to dabble in the things that had spiraled him into such a depressive state the first time he really hadn't learned anything.</p><p>The worst part, Nico felt, was that even if she had simply been annoyed with him there were some hints of truth in her words; more than hints. But, the story was much deeper than him fawning over Percy again, that's what she didn't understand. There were new factors to take into account and he hadn't even gotten to bring them up. She had dismissed him from her office at just before the hour mark after asking him a series of questions and promised that the following week she would have another assignment for him.</p><p>"You look upset," Nico looked up to discover Sadie Kane standing at her brother's desk. Carter was seated behind it, obviously on his lunch break as he was mid-bite into some Chinese take-out.</p><p>"Leave him alone, Sadie." He chided around his mouthful.</p><p>"It's okay," Nico said with a shrug. "I am upset, I just haven't figured out if I'm more upset with myself or with your boss."</p><p>"I'm actually getting credit hours for working here, so she's not really my boss, the school—" Carter began to correct. Nico glared. "Or…yeah, my boss. That works."</p><p>"She does seem a bit…intense," Sadie said. "Suppose you would be too having to be dealing with crazies every day." Sadie seemed to realize what she'd said almost as soon as the words left her mouth; she sucked air in through her teeth and winced. "No offense." She added to Nico. Carter's eyes nearly bulged from his head and he gave Nico a look that seemed to be deeply apologetic.</p><p>Nico shrugged again, ", I guess, makes me one of the crazies. I was starting to think maybe I was sane and that I was handling everything pretty decently, but apparently I haven't learned anything."</p><p>"Really sorry about that, I didn't mean you were crazy. From what I can tell you are quite sane actually," She stopped, as if to consider this, "but I guess everyone's a bit mad these days, aren't we? I might just stop by and see the old bird myself."</p><p>"Looks more like a wolf to me," Nico said under his breath, Sadie laughed.</p><p>"Funny and cute, no wonder Carter likes you." Sadie smiled over her shoulder at her brother, who seemed to have paled immensely—which was a feat, considering. "Well, he hasn't <em>said </em>he likes you, but anytime I bring you up he makes that face and tells me to stop bothering him."</p><p>That alone seemed to make Nico feel a little better, "Carter, you wouldn't be harboring some crush on me, would you?" Carter promptly began to chew his noodles in a way that assured he wouldn't be able to answer. "I'm just glad he's moving on, despite the illegality of the whole thing. Star crossed lovers, you being the young forbidden fruit almost makes it sweet." Carter choked. "Calm down, brother dear, we're only having you on."</p><p>"Not that I would mind if you were crushing a little, my ego could use the boost."</p><p>"<em>Your </em>ego could use a boost?" Sadie asked, "Nico, you're like some sort of pretty male model. If you weren't gay I might even consider you hot, but I don't speak in 'ifs' and I have enough trouble with boys as it is. Heretofore, someone who looks like you could not possibly need any extra boosting in the ego department."</p><p>Nico chuckled, "You'd be surprised," He said.</p><p>"Blokes, and hell girls, are probably falling over themselves trying to throw their mobile numbers at you." Sadie countered.</p><p>"Not really, no." Nico shrugged. "There is one boy, but he's got a girlfriend and I don't know how serious we can get since he's one of the reasons I ended up here in the first place."</p><p>"Wait, you're talking to that Percy guy again?" Carter asked, the ability to speak miraculously returned to him.</p><p>"He's kind of my neighbor." Nico supplied. "Cordiality dictates that you have to be neighborly."</p><p>"I don't normally snog my neighbors, unless they're quite attractive." Carter made a gagging sound. "Oh, shut it, no one asked you." She turned back to Nico, "But do you snog—er—make-out, that is—with this Percy fellow?"</p><p>"A few times, recently." Nico smiled for a second, thinking about his good morning message.</p><p>"Does his girlfriend know?" He looked up at Sadie, and it was a perfectly legitimate question.</p><p>"No," He said.</p><p>Sadie's face pulled into a frown, "Sorry I asked. You don't have to sound so defensive about it." She sat against Carter's desk, "You really like this guy, but you're stealing him away from some poor girl. I didn't peg you for someone like that, Nico."</p><p>"I—" Nico looked at Carter, who had his head in his hands as if the whole situation seemed to be beyond him. "I'm not that kind of guy. I don't want—we haven't really even done anything. It's not cheating, Sadie."</p><p>"It's emotional cheating. Which is almost worse."</p><p>"Sadie—"</p><p>But Nico beat Carter to the punch, "I met him first. He likes me. He actually likes me, Sadie. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that Percy Jackson could like me. He likes kissing me, he likes holding me." He glared at Sadie and she seemed, for once, cowed, "Everyone wants to tell me it's so wrong, everyone is nitpicking in my life like its an open book for just anyone to peruse but the chapter on Percy is closed. The only reason I talk about it with Kirshbaum is because she's paid to fix me, and I never thought I needed fixing. And you know, just when I start really feeling better, and when things are really starting to come together and I forget—one time—to do something I get chewed out by my fucking psyche. I'm really getting sick of this roller coaster people are putting me on because I fucking like a guy."</p><p>"Nico." Hades voice reverberated down his spine like a beat of thunder.</p><p>Nico sighed and closed his eyes, he turned slowly to face his father, "Hi, Dad.".</p><p>"We're leaving." Without another word Hades turned and walked from the room.</p><p>A hand wrapped around Nico's arm, the black and red nail polish and the slightness of it let him know to whom the hand belonged, "Hey, I'm sorry, mate. I didn't know you had all that going on, I shouldn't have said anything."</p><p>"It's fine," Nico shrugged her hand away. "I have to go."</p><p>"Nico," Carter stood, Nico could hear the sound of the wheels of his chair moving back as he stood, could hear the footsteps as he came around the desk.</p><p>"I'll talk to you guys later."</p><p>"Nico, wait, please. Sadie doesn't know how to filter her brain-to-mouth response. There's something wrong with the way the synapses go off in her neural system." He looked over his shoulder at the looming form of Carter. He was so tall and sturdy looking.</p><p>Nico reached a hand up and touched Carter's face, he could feel the light stubble pushing up through the smooth skin, he could feel the warmth that meant life was beating in the taller, older young man's chest. "You shouldn't ever feel anything more for me than us just being friends, Carter. You're too nice a guy for that. There's a reason my last boyfriend was a selfish drug addict."</p><p>"I think you're spectacular, Nico." Carter said. Sadie nodded behind him.</p><p>Nico's shoulders slumped as he sighed again, "I'll see you guys next week."</p><p>"It doesn't have to be next week. You could come over? Dad wouldn't mind."</p><p>Nico laughed, "Too nice." He said with a small smile, then he turned to leave. "Text me when you want to have me over, I expect you to pick me up in something that isn't on two wheels." Then he left, walking away from two of the only friends in the city that he hadn't met through Percy. The point seemed moot since they hung around in his psychiatrist's office.</p><p>Nico took the stairs to the parking lot, and when his feet hit tarmac he walked quickly to their rented car. His father had a lit cigarette between his lips and sunglasses on his face. The smoke billowed around him like so many clouds on an overcast day, gray and hazy.</p><p>"You know, you passed a lot of things down to me, but I don't think I could ever look as cool as you do when you smoke." Nico said conversationally. Hades looked up, his left eyebrow arched slightly at his son.</p><p>"You do it without realizing it, Nicky." His father replied after a moment.</p><p>"Can I have a cigarette?" The question was rash and impulsive but he asked it anyway. Hades didn't answer but the pack was sitting on the hood of the car. Nico grabbed it, but his father's hands were around his in the very next moment.</p><p>"One. Don't tell your mother."</p><p>An actual smile pulled at the corners of his lips, "I've just—I've had a shitty day, Dad. I forgot to do Kirshbaum's little assignment and she brought the fucking—"</p><p>"You have a cursing quota that you just surpassed."</p><p>"—the fricking hammer down on me. Like, she for real laid into me." Nico lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. The smoke travelled into his lungs and burned in a way that shouldn't have been satisfying. "I'm sorry you saw me so angry just a minute ago."</p><p>"You get that temper from me, it's on that list of things I passed down to you." Hades said. "Apparently a predisposition for things that are bad for you was on there as well. If I would have known I would've stopped smoking before you were born."</p><p>"Well, Mom thinks you quit."</p><p>"Yes, but your mother also thinks I don't know that she knows I didn't." Hades replied. "Maria may rule the roost, but she does allow me a few concessions." Hades took a small puff, "As for your little outburst upstairs, it's progress. Before you would never have opened up like that to anyone. Do you really think you're the only teenager in the world who's shouted about his problems?"</p><p>"I wasn't shouting."</p><p>"You were definitely not using an inside voice." He puffed again, "Listen, Nico, I know how you feel. When I was your age I didn't realize I was too smart and too talented to be so young, which is what you are. It translates to anger, and depression, and sometimes, most times, listless ennui. I had these words in my head, but I couldn't put them down on paper correctly. I couldn't arrange a story, couldn't form the proper syntax, couldn't develop a character for shit, my plots were faulty at best. The list goes on. I see that in you, maybe not writing, but you draw very well, son. I don't think you realize how good you are. It's something you don't even think about, I see you doodling and when you're done you crumple things up and throw them away." Hades flicked his cigarette away. "I've saved everything that I've ever seen you throw away, because I think you're talented. And maybe it's not what you want to do, but it could be the medium you need to channel your thoughts. I started keeping a journal when I was your age, you could keep a sketchbook."</p><p>"Dad, I don't really—"</p><p>"Humor your old man, eh? That's the price of that cigarette that you're much too practiced at smoking with. Anytime you feel "shitty" or down, anytime you get mad, or even happy, just doodle something for me. I think that's all I've ever asked from you."</p><p>"Well, you asked me to come to a psychiatrist who I'm pretty sure is Satan's evil older sister. I'll bet she used to kick sand in little Lucifer's face when they were in the sandbox together."</p><p>"You would like Lupa if you actually got to know her." Hades replied. He plucked his son's cigarette out of his hand (much to the boy's protests) and took one last puff of it before flicking it away. "First things first, we're going to Michelangelo's for gelato, he's your mother's third cousin and he just moved in from the old country. He makes gelato so sweet your teeth'll fall out, then we're going to get you a sketchbook and some pencils. Then when we get home you start in it."</p><p>Nico sighed, "Fine. I still don't see what me doodling stuff has to do with anything, but I like gelato so I'm just gonna go with it." He grimaced as a thought crossed his mind. "I don't have to Italian later, do I?"</p><p>"Michelangelo is from Sicily, Nico, and no, your Italian is barely passable. He would laugh himself to a not-so-early death if he heard you try to speak Sicilian. Now come on, get in the car." Nico followed his father into the car. "Here, mouthwash. Your mother can sniff out smoke like a drug dog sniffs out cocaine." He did as instructed and gargled while his father did the same. "When we get to the gelato shop go wash your face, I'll deal with Michael. He's gonna want to hear all about you,"</p><p>"You know I just love talking to long distance relatives, Dad, that's why I do so much of it."</p><p>"You think I enjoy it? These people would crawl into our lives and never leave if I let Maria have her way. Your Grandmother Belladonna would be living with us, not to mention your sixteen cousins on your mom's side."</p><p>"God." Nico sat back in his seat as Hades turned the engine over. "Is it this bad for every Italian family?"</p><p>"No, son." His father replied. "Other people have it worse. I've shielded you and your sister from most of it."</p><p>Nico laughed, "Thanks for that."</p><hr/><p>Percy sat at the bottom of the school's pool. He'd won Regionals in this pool, he had had to travel to Florida for Nationals, which he had gotten second in.</p><p>In the water everything felt clear, there was no confusion. Just swimming and breathing; not so much breathing at the moment because he was holding his breath, but the idea was the same. The water felt like a second home to him, sometimes it made more sense than home ever actually did. He was done with his training for the day but he didn't feel like calling him mom or Paul just yet, and he definitely didn't feel like riding the subway back home. He could call a cab, but it was just easier to call his parents.</p><p>His head was swimming with the thought of Nico and Annabeth at the barbecue on Saturday. They had gotten along famously, Annabeth even asked him why he didn't talk about Nico more often. Percy had just shrugged and kept the conversation going in a different direction.</p><p>Nico and Annabeth were night and day. She was like the sun and Nico was like the moon and stars, not that Annabeth was more brilliant than Nico, but just that she shined in a different sort of light. Annabeth's light was bright and everyone else saw it, but with Nico you had to know where to look. And he was brilliant, just as brilliant as the sun, but in a more subtle and complex way.</p><p>Besides, aside from the fact that Annabeth was at the moment his girlfriend Percy was more attracted to Nico. It may have been shitty, but it was true. He had never expected his feelings or his sexual orientation to come to a head so quickly, but apparently life had other things in mind for him.</p><p>God, he'd told Nico he was gay. Something he would have never said out loud in a million years.</p><p>Percy kicked up and swam to the surface of the water, breathing in new air and floating on his back.</p><p>What would he do? What could he do? He had a year left of high school, and thus far he had made it through semi-popular without ever getting his ass beat. If he came to his senior year of school gay, or consciously gay, that would probably change. But, he couldn't keep up the pretense. That was why his trip with Annabeth was so important. If he could make it through, all the way through, and like it then he wouldn't have to be gay.</p><p>But, the thought of hurting Nico again made him sink a bit in the water. He kicked over to the side of the pool and hung on, supporting himself on the concrete found there. For a moment he floated there, happily unthinking, but then the double doors that led to the pool opened and someone Percy thought he'd never see on this side of the school came parading in.</p><p>"Yo, Jackson," She had a small sneer on her face, a just barely there I-don't-really-care-for-you look.</p><p>"Reyna." Percy inclined his head to her. "What's up? What brings you poolside?"</p><p>Reyna inspected him, "Are speedos just required, even when no one else is around? Couldn't you have worn boardshorts?"</p><p>"They're not aerodynamic enough, no. Plus there'd be a difference between what I trained in and what I actually raced in, and I don't want that." He answered, "So why are you here?"</p><p>"Annabeth and I were in the chem. lab, we have a project we're working on. Nothing too advanced, but still we'd rather get it done now than wait till the end of the Summer and panic about it. Anyway, she was cleaning up and said you'd be here practicing. We can give you a ride home, or whatever, if you want."</p><p>Percy grinned for a moment and pulled his swim cap off, "Oh, yeah? Cool. I actually needed one, so that's great." He started to lift himself out of the water.</p><p>"Also, I was wondering if you're gay, cause I think you are, but I know it's an uncomfortable subject to talk about." Percy nearly slipped and fell back in the water.</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>"Yeah, my sister says I'm too blunt, but I mean science is all about questions, right? So, let's say I hypothesize that you like boys, what would be your rebuttal, if there is one?"</p><p>"Reyna that's completely out of left field," Percy said walking past her.</p><p>"I'm just asking because Annabeth is my best friend, Perseus. It has come to her attention—"</p><p>"In no small part thanks to you, I'm sure," Percy interrupted.</p><p>"—that you may or may not have interests in your own gender. While it really is none of <em>my </em>business, because like I said it's personal and an uncomfortable subject, and I don't want to force you out of the proverbial closet if you are in fact in one, but Annabeth deserves to know. You guys are dating after all." Reyna was wearing a pair of square framed glasses, which she adjusted. "Just a thought."</p><p>"Look, I know you don't like me—"</p><p>"Oh I don't really feel one way or the other about you, Perseus. We don't speak much, which is probably my fault because I've had these suspicions for a while but have been thus far barred from asking you by your aforementioned paramour. So I do not deign to speak to you, but since I told Annabeth that I would come fetch you while she cleaned I thought it the perfect time to perhaps clear that air."</p><p>"You don't use so many big words when you're talking to your friends. I know, I've read some of your texts to Annabeth."</p><p>"A deflection of the question, which puts you one step over that fence you're straddling."</p><p>Percy rolled his eyes, "This is something you want me and Annabeth to talk about? We'll talk about it tomorrow when we're on our way up to Keene Valley, my family has a cabin up there and she and I were going to take a little trip. Thanks for offering the ride, I'm gonna go shower up so we can go."</p><p>"You still didn't answer," Reyna said.</p><p>"You did say it wasn't any of your business," Percy replied over his shoulder.</p><p>"That's true, and like you or not I do respect that," She looked at her nails for a moment, then back up to Percy. There was a new expression on her face, an almost understanding one. "I should have probably gotten to know you better. I have a gay cousin—I mean, I have a cousin who I'm pretty close to who is gay, I should say. I don't have a problem with you maybe being gay too, and that really wasn't the way to go about asking you if you were. But Annabeth really likes you, like, <em>really </em>likes you, Percy. I don't want her getting hurt."</p><p>"I know." Percy said.</p><p>"Do you feel the same way about her?"</p><p>Percy sighed, "That's what I'm trying to figure out." He turned to move towards the lockers.</p><p>"You know she wouldn't care, right? She'd probably be a little heartbroken at first, but she wouldn't get mad at you. Like I said, she likes you a lot."</p><p>"She's a good person," Percy agreed. "One of the best people I know."</p><p>"I'm glad you realize that. We're in parking lot 'B' if you're not done in the next fifteen minutes."</p><p>"Alright, cool. Thanks, Reyna."</p><p>"Annabeth would probably prefer if you called me Rey." Reyna laughed. "I guess I wouldn't mind it either."</p><p>Percy smiled, "I'll keep that in mind. See you guys in a few then, Rey." When he was in the locker rooms and he stood under the spray of the showers he wondered if he was really so transparent; had he really given himself away that much in the little bit of time that Nico had been here? Before the neighbor boy's arrival he and his girlfriend had been rock solid, or solid enough that she wasn't overtly questioning him, even if the questions came through her best friend.</p><p>Percy washed quickly, toweled himself off and threw on a pair of sweats and a blue t-shirt before he was out the door. He and Annabeth did need to talk, and tomorrow was the day to do it.</p><hr/><p>When Percy got home and into his room he saw Nico sitting at his window, doing something on his phone. He texted him and the boy looked up.</p><p>If the world could say anything it was that when Nico smiled, really smiled, it lit up his entire face. Percy felt his pulse quickening as he found himself unable to stop smiling back. Nico opened the window and Percy opened his.</p><p>"Hi—" They said at the same time.</p><p>"You first." Nico laughed.</p><p>Percy was grinning as he leaned out the window, "Hi,"</p><p>"Hi." Nico answered back.</p><p>"How was your day?" Percy asked.</p><p>"I'm glad it's over, but I had fun with my Dad after torturous therapy, and I'm supposed to go hang out with some friends tomorrow." Nico replied with a smile. "All in all, not as terrible as it was. I saw your sign, thank you it helped."</p><p>Percy shrugged, "I wanted you to have a good day."</p><p>"I'm having a better one talking to you,"</p><p>"Do you wanna maybe come over, or can I come over there?"</p><p>Nico smiled again, not that the thing had ever really left his face. "I'll come over there, your bed is bigger." Percy was nodding, and Nico was closing his window and it seemed like no time at all really passed before he heard footfalls on the stairs and Nico was standing in his doorway. "Hi."</p><p>"Hi." Nico snickered. He walked forward and Percy put his arms around him. "My therapist thinks I'm a lazy rebel."</p><p>"My girlfriend's best friend knows I'm gay," Percy answered. They looked at each other, and one smile seemed contagious enough to spark another. "I'm sorry about your therapist."</p><p>"Well I deserved it, I guess. I did forget to do my one assignment for the week, but I was very distracted." Nico put his head against Percy's chest, the sound of the heart that lied underneath was soothing in his ear. "You told someone else you were gay today?"</p><p>"She just kinda guessed." Percy said with a little laugh. "I didn't say I was, but I didn't say I wasn't either. Just that I had to talk to Annabeth about it. She and I are going to the cabin for the week."</p><p>Nico stilled, "Our cabin? The one we used to go to all the time?"</p><p>Percy took a small step back to look down quizzically at Nico, "Yeah…? She and I made plans to go up there last week since we were been too busy to really see each other during the last half of the semester."</p><p>"Oh," Nico looked away.</p><p>"What's wrong with that?"</p><p>"Nothing." It didn't sound like nothing.</p><p>"Nico…don't be like that, I thought we were being honest with each other. Don't say nothing if it's something." Percy grabbed him by the waist and held him close.</p><p>Nico struggled for a bit, as if he were searching for the right words. Percy watched his eyes move left and right, saw the more timid side of Nico that people so rarely got to see, and smiled a little to himself. "It's not that I care if you guys are going up there to do stuff, cause the way you were talking on Saturday I kinda guessed you two would be trying, you know, to help you figure out where you stood orientation wise. But, that's <em>our </em>cabin, Percy. I don't know. I just thought you would have or asked me or something." Nico shook his head. "It's stupid. I'm being stupid. Sorry."</p><p>He looked hard at Nico before he said, "It's not stupid." He said. "And you're right, I should have asked. It where you and me first met, where we became best friends. It isn't my place to share without your permission. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Don't be, you wanted to have a good time with your girlfriend. Nico shrugged.</p><p>"I want to have a good time with you, too." Percy replied. His eyes shined for a moment before he said, "I have an idea." Pulling out his phone within moments Percy had someone on the other end, "Annabeth, hey." Nico stared but Percy just smiled. "Yeah, hi. No, I'm doing okay." He laughed, "Yeah, Reyna can be kinda intense, but really I'm okay. No, I was just thinking something. About this week, maybe we should take some of our friends up to the cabin with us. Before you say anything I know it's <em>our</em>trip, but it'd be nice to have them up there. I don't know, maybe: Grover and Juniper, Reyna, and Nico. You did say you wanted to get to know him better, and I need to spend some time with Reyna too, apparently." He paused, "Right? I thought it was a good idea too, plus there's plenty of room and we can have like a weeklong party." He paused again. "Nah, my parents won't mind. Yeah, yeah, no I'm just glad you were cool with it. Nico and I were talking about how we used to go up there together all the time and I didn't think it would be right to go without him." Percy waited. "Okay, sweet. Thanks, babe. I'll let you and Reyna get back to whatever it is you two do. Don't just say 'science stuff'," Percy laughed again. "Okay, yeah, no I'll text you. Bye. I love you too. Bye-bye."</p><p>Nico blinked.</p><p>"That takes care of that." Percy said with that damn smile of his.</p><p>"I had plans for tomorrow! I'm supposed to hang out with Carter and his sister!" Nico nearly shouted at him.</p><p>"Invite them along, it'd be a little intimate if it was just the five of us."</p><p>"Intimate? Grover and Juniper will be banging the whole time, you and Annabeth will probably be experimenting, and I know you, you'll sneak into my room in the middle of the night and I won't kick you out, and poor Carter. I don't know this Reyna girl, but he's good looking. It would be hard enough keeping Grover's hands out of his pants, I can't protect him from both sides."</p><p>"You worry too much, I think it'll be fun if you and your friends came up with us."</p><p>"But—!" Percy's mouth was pressed against his in the next moment and Nico was helpless to say no. Percy could almost literally feel the other boy's resolve melting. Nico pulled back, "If I'm going to go I have to pack and call Carter—he probably can't even get away for a week."</p><p>"Give it an hour. We'll get all that junk taken care of after I do this." Teeth sank into Nico's neck, not hard but hard enough that Nico was biting his own lip. There was a hot, breathy chuckle against his skin and Nico thought about kneeing Percy in the groin, but decided against it. He might need that later.</p><p>And that's how Nico ended up packing all night to go on a six day long trip.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Nico!" Nico looked over his shoulder; Annabeth's small, silvery four door was parked outside of Percy's house. Annabeth was climbing out of it with a smile on her face. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a smart ponytail, the tail of which was pulled through the back of her Yankee's ball cap. Nico couldn't help marveling at how skinny she was, not that he wasn't skinny himself, but she wore it better than he did. Her body curved appealingly, she was wearing a light forest green hoodie with the sleeves rolled up, and what looked a black tank-top underneath. Her cargo shorts were the kind that people wore when they wore doing a lot of outdoor activity.</p><p>As she got closer Nico realized that Annabeth wasn't just skin and bones like he was, but she was more muscle than anything. When she smiled it was radiant and life affirming. And, as has been learned before: sometimes Nico's mouth worked before his brain did, which is how he ended up blurting out, "You look really pretty." He almost face/palmed himself, deciding he was going to have to get a handle on his cheek-to-tongue ratio.</p><p>Annabeth smiled, laughing him off and moved a strand of hair behind her ear, "Oh, wow." She chuckled. "Thank you, but I'm not really wearing any make-up, and my hair is a mess."</p><p>"I'm relatively sure you're still pretty," Nico said and was about two seconds away from slapping himself. The compliments he was giving her were more like derogatory statements about himself comparatively, "You look pretty today," roughly translated to "Percy will probably notice you before he notices me today." Annabeth had the good grace to blush.</p><p>"Nico, are you…hitting on me?"</p><p>He blinked, unsure how she had surmised that, but he quickly amended with, "Wha—oh, God, no. Annabeth I'm gay. <em>Super </em>gay. Cabaret and Louis Vuitton and Bernadette Peters." Not to say that Nico didn't like musicals, but his knowledge of such things came more from Rachel and Frank than any real care about the shows or actresses in them, and it had been Bianca who'd introduced him to fashion, another thing he was only partially knew about. Still, Nico's humor reflex had activated and it was too late to stop it now. "See? I know I don't look it but I put the queer in daiquiri. Because I'm an alcoholic. A very, very gay alcoholic." Annabeth laughed again, this time harder.</p><p>"Oh, my God, you're hilarious. Percy said you were funny,"</p><p>Nico scoffed, "He probably said I could be funny when I wasn't scowling."</p><p>"Close, he said you could be funny when you weren't pouting," She grinned. He rolled his eyes, "Sorry I ran over here like this, I was just excited to see you." She paused, "Oh," Here she snorted, "That makes me sound like a spazz or something. The other day I thought we hit it off, and…" She trailed for a second and Nico caught on.</p><p>"Oh! Oh, no. You were totally cool—are totally cool. I'm glad Percy invited me along—I, uh, I didn't want – don't want – to interrupt anything you guys had planned."</p><p>Annabeth smiled again, it was an easy smile, "No, no interruptions. Getting Percy to do anything romantic at all without him having done something incredibly stupid beforehand is hard enough, I can't ask him to stretch that over six days. He's sweet, but he's a like a lost puppy when it comes to matters of the heart: cute and will try anything if you're not watching him. Not to mention hard to stay mad at."</p><p>"You're telling me," Nico found himself chuckling. Annabeth raised an eyebrow but Nico glanced over at a pair of suitcases that were sitting not too far away from him just in time. Percy wasn't really a topic he wanted to discuss with her, "I didn't know what to bring so I brought a little bit of everything. I only just got unpacked, really."</p><p>"From California, right?" Annabeth asked, sitting on the front steps.</p><p>"Yeah, L.A., actually, not too far from Hollywood." Nico smiled down at her.</p><p>"Impressive, but we have the Met, which beats out your Hollywood sign, not to mention much fewer earthquakes, and we're pretty much the central hub of America." She smiled back. Nico stared at her for a moment, she and her olive skin that wasn't perfect but was still beautiful, her grey eyes that sparkled in a sort of merriment Nico was hard to come by himself these days, her friendly smile. It was then he decided he truly did want to be friend with her.</p><p>"Hey, you guys!" Then the thing that could dissolve that new friendship was shouting at them from his front porch. Nico and Annabeth turned as unit to see Percy walking the short distance from his house to the neighbor's. Percy came up the stairs with a small smile on his face, "You two hanging out so much without me might make me think you've got something going on."</p><p>"And what if we do, Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth asked, hooking an arm around Nico's and holding him against her. "I think we make a cuter couple, what about you, Nico?"</p><p>"Oh, much cuter. Who needs tall, pale, and pretty when you've got short, dark, and perfect?"</p><p>"Okay, now I <em>am</em> a little worried about you two getting together." His grin said otherwise but he had perfected that puppy dog expression. Annabeth seemed immune to it as she flicked him on the side of the head. "Ow, ow! Watch it, wise girl!"</p><p>"Man up, Jackson." Annabeth smiled, she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, chastely, bust still sweetly. Nico looked away, guilt once again seeping into him like a slow bleed seeps out.</p><p>He cleared his throat and they seemed to remember him, "So, uh, is there anything I should know to bring? You know, aside from clean underwear and a toothbrush?"</p><p>"You've been up there before Nicky." Percy smiled, it was true but not for a long time and Maria had always packed a bag for him, "Swim trunks?" The taller, older teen volunteered. "You remember the river? Paul helped me put in a rope swing up last Summer, it's kind of awesome."</p><p>"Coming from someone who can think with her head outside of the water you should bring your morning routine stuff,"</p><p>"Morning routine…?" Percy seemed lost. "Toothbrush, brush, deodorant, Old Spice? What else do you need?"</p><p>Annabeth cooed, "Oh, sweetheart." Nico could only laugh.</p><p>"But Nico's a guy, he doesn't do all that—" Percy stopped himself when both his girlfriend and his quasi-not-exactly boyfriend gave him a shared look. "Shutting up now."</p><p>"Okay, morning routine stuff, night routine stuff, lotions—"</p><p>"Condoms?" Nico laughed. Annabeth's eyebrow rose again. "Kidding, unless there's a group orgy, I can't say I trust any of you kids enough yet to go in unprotected."</p><p>"Shucks." Annabeth snapped her fingers, "The girls and I were hoping you could impregnate us, we're all just dying to have your babies, Mr. di Angelo."</p><p>Nico dusted off his nails on his shirt, looking for a moment as if he were the most pompous and conceited man in the world, "Sorry to disappoint ladies but I am the much feared homosexual. Please, keep all lusting to a minimum."</p><p>"He's funny." Annnabeth said, elbowing Percy.</p><p>Percy smirked, "Well, if you're good on this trip I'll think about getting you one for Christmas." Annabeth laughed and Percy settled against the porch, "So did you get in touch with your friend Kyle?"</p><p>"Carter," Nico corrected, "I did, he and his sister said they'd hang with us for a couple of days; they're going to meet us here."</p><p>"Cool, campfire, roasting marshmallows, swimming in the river, sounds like a good week to me. Plus Grover's grabbing a shit ton of booze."</p><p>"I knew he was good for something," Annabeth grinned. "You have to promise me you won't let me drink too much, you remember what happened last time."</p><p>"What happened last time?" Nico asked.</p><p>"Wise girl here went toe-to-toe in a Jeopardy-esque quiz contest with her best friend Reyna, who you're going to meet later, and by the end of it they were naming the periodic elements and their masses, different isotopes, we had to stop them when they got into quantum mechanics. Of course, by that time they were about to start throwing fists. Annabeth is a mean drunk."</p><p>Annabeth glared at him.</p><p>Nico chuckled, "My friend Rachel's pretty good at science, I think she could hang with you guys on topics like that."</p><p>"In drunken Latin?" Percy asked with a smirk. Nico gaped and looked at Annabeth.</p><p>She blushed, "I had an advanced course in Latin when I was fourteen, I never speak it and I can barely remember any of it unless I look at the notes I took, but when me and Rey drink I suddenly remember everything and it filters in and out of my English." She shook her head.</p><p>"Oh, I can't wait to party with you guys." Nico laughed.</p><p>"Well that's about to be a reality, brother! Woo-hoo!" Grover's appearance was blocked by Percy being in their line of sight, but as he came into view he was smiling from ear to ear, and if Nico wasn't mistaken he seemed very sober.</p><p>"Juniper's car is freaking quiet," Annabeth assessed, Nico looked over Grover's shoulder to see Juniper parked in Percy's driveway.</p><p>"Hybrid car, sister-man, they're like the ninjas of the highway." Grover grinned a lopsided smile. Juniper closed her car door and was making her way towards them. To Nico's surprise she was wearing hiking boots that looked pretty comfortable. He looked down at his own sneakers, they were his oldest ones but nothing so sensible.</p><p>"Hi, Juni," Nico smirked.</p><p>"Hi, Nico," Juniper answered in her small, cheerful but calming voice. "You're looking well."</p><p>"Thank you." Nico smiled. "You look good too."</p><p>Juniper looked down at her khaki short-shorts and her floral sleeveless button down. She had an assortment of necklaces and wristbands decorating her person and an equally calm expression on her face, "Thanks!" She chuckled a bit then turned to her boyfriend, "Oh, I told Grover no smoking until we got up there. It's so good of you guys to invite us along."</p><p>"We like having you guys around, I need a few more girls in this boy's circle." Annabeth replied.</p><p>"Whoa, wait a minute. Gro, you're sober?" Percy looked at his friend and Grover just laughed.</p><p>"I am a slave to my lady's wishes, Perce." He grinned. "Besides, I brought the big bong and the dankest of the dank." Nico laughed at Percy's confusion, Juniper just smiled as if it were any other quirk of her boyfriend's.</p><p>"So you've got alcohol and marijuana, sounds like a very illegal week to me." Annabeth gave a sideways smirk, "When I'm running for office none of you are allowed to bring this up."</p><p>"It'll be our little secret, sister-man." Grover gave her a fist bump.</p><p>Nico found himself staring at Percy for a moment while everyone else made conversation. He stared at Percy's lengthy black hair that curled at the ends, at his sea-green eyes, his strong jaw. He was wearing a white and green shirt, which brought out the color in his eyes, and a light blue—almost acid washed—pair of jeans. Nico didn't look away when Percy's eye caught his, but smiled. To his great pleasure Percy returned the smile, if only for a moment. Then Nico's phone was vibrating.</p><p>The front of the screen read Carter's name but Sadie's voice called out from the receiver, "We're almost there if this bloody GPS doesn't get us lost, I told him, I said: brother, dear, it would be easier to hop on the tubes and take a taxi to Nico's, but I'm afraid Carter gets not only our father's good looks but his frugality as well."</p><p>"Well, a lot of us are gathered at my house already, so I think we'll be pretty ready to load up when you two get here." Nico answered.</p><p>"We're following a red car," Sadie said, and not five seconds after she'd said it a red van pulled into view.</p><p>"Oh, that's Rey." Annabeth informed them.</p><p>"That's a friend of ours," Nico told Sadie. "You guys can park over here, since Percy's driveway is almost filled to capacity." Not too long afterward Carter's four door sedan pulled into Nico's as Reyna's was pulling into Percy's. Nico guessed that Carter couldn't always be driving a motorcycle, and Sadie didn't seem like the sort to want to ride with her brother on one.</p><p>"This looks like it'll be a fun week," Percy grinned, finally finding a seat beside Nico on the stairs.</p><p>"A fun last minute trip, yeah," Nico replied, smirking. "I look forward to being alone with nature, you know, all by myself, on the first floor while almost everyone else sleeps upstairs. You remember where my room was, don't you, Perce?" Percy looked at him knowingly with a small glint in his eyes before shaking his head and chuckling. Nico chuckled too after a moment, and with all the commotion around them they had gone unheard by the others.</p><p>A fun week, indeed.</p><hr/><p>Keene was actually a small town in Essex County, it had little more than a thousand people living in it and ended the John Brooks nature trail. The Valley sat south of Keene itself, where greens and browns ran rampant, and at the very edge of Keene Valley is where the Jackson-Blofis/di Angelo cabin was built.</p><p>As two cars pulled up there was a collective of gasps and one 'Dude!' in Reyna's van since she had driven the majority of them up there. Carter and Sadie had driven their own car. Reyna, Annabeth, Juniper, and Grover had never seen anything like their cabin. It had cost a fortune, which is why both families had put in half to purchase it; it sat on two stories and about seven or eight thousand square feet. It had a gravel roundabout driveway that led to a huge, wooden front porch, there was a porch swing that looked unused but steady. The porch itself was covered by a wooden awning that acted as a protector from both the sun and the rain, and cut into the sides of the cabin were gigantic French windows, white curtains closed.</p><p>"I forget that your dad is the CEO of a huge company and that your dad is a highly praised novelist sometimes, boys," Annabeth said with a grin.</p><p>"Doesn't your dad have a degree in astrophysics? He's a physicist." Reyna said.</p><p>"Something like that, but it's obviously not as lucrative as owning a business or publishing books that get bought up almost as soon as they're on the shelf." Annabeth laughed.</p><p>"Hey, don't forget my mom owns her own business too, and before that she worked pretty hard as the district manager of Nording Electronics."</p><p>"My boyfriend the feminist." Annabeth pinched his cheek in her hand.</p><p>"Equality for everybody, Annabeth. Men, women, people in the LGBTQ, right Percy?" Reyna grinned giving Percy a look Nico couldn't interpret.</p><p>"Exactly," Percy answered back a bit stiffly, but before Nico knew it Percy was jumping out of the van. "Everyone should grab their stuff and I'll show you guys to your rooms, then we can look around the grounds for a little bit and then I'll set up a campfire and we'll do lunch."</p><p>"Ooh, and there's my boyfriend the rugged lumberjack." Annabeth smirked as she got out of the van.</p><p>"And in the event that Percy can't start a fire there is a working kitchen inside," Nico added.</p><p>"Does no one have faith in me?" Percy asked looking between Nico, Annabeth, and Reyna. Juniper followed behind Grover out of the vehicle when Grover said, "I have all the faith in you, brother. Don't let the ladyfolk and Nico get you down."</p><p>Percy smiled, "At least I have one true friend. Come on, Gro. I'll show you where you and Juniper are staying first then." They moved to the back of van. Nico wandered over to Carter's car as it came to a full stop and the engine was killed.</p><p>Carter gave a loud, low whistle as he opened his door, "This place is huge!"</p><p>"Pick your jaw up, brother dear, they'll think you've never seen a big house before." Sadie shook her head and looked at Nico with an expression that seemed to say '<em>Honestly</em>,' as if there were nothing she could do about her brother.</p><p>"House? <em>House</em>? This isn't a house, this is a mansion." Carter interjected.</p><p>"Actually it's a log cabin, just a big one. We got it right around the time my dad's first book started selling really well and Percy's dad got made CEO of the company he'd been working for for like twenty years or something."</p><p>"Fifteen," Percy called from the back of the van as he and Grover were coming around, "He started working there two years before I was born." They had gone through introductions already, and Nico was really hoped that Percy and Carter got along for some reason. "If you guys'll grab your stuff, Carter, I'll show you and Sadie your rooms."</p><p>"Cool, Carter grab our bags, I'm going to check out the inside!" Sadie raced off.</p><p>"I'm not grabbing your crap!" Carter called after her.</p><p>"You're going to grab her bags, aren't you?" Percy asked with a smile on his face.</p><p>"Little sisters, man." Carter replied sighing, he shook his head as if defeated. Percy laughed.</p><hr/><p>Setting up everyone's rooms had taken some time, as had getting to the Valley, so by the time they were gathered around the campfire that Percy and Grover and Carter had successfully started it was a little past sundown. Nico's hotdog was roasting over the fire and he sat watching the activities around him. Everyone was talking from seats on separate log benches spread around the fire. Grover was arm deep in the cooler trying to get the coldest beer he could find, Percy was standing behind the lanky teen awaiting his turn at the cooler. Reyna and Sadie were talking about something—punk rock vs. classic rock, Nico thought, which was right up his alley but he had nothing to contribute to that conversation at the moment—and Annabeth, Carter, and Juniper were talking about some finer points of some science. Probably botany, considering Juniper was spearheading the conversation.</p><p>Nico watched as the salmon-pink of the sky finally dipped into a light cerulean, behind that were traces of azure, then sapphire, and finally midnight. The colors trailed clearly in the unhindered night sky. Stars were sparkling to life. Stars that Nico hadn't seen so visibly in years. There was a time when he could have named a few constellations, but now he had a hard enough time picking out the North Star.</p><p>For a moment he was sick for Frank, Rachel, and Leo. He hadn't spoken to any of them in a long while and he had no idea what they were doing. He wanted to know if Leo's relationship was blossoming, how Frank's Grandmother was treating him, how Rachel was handling her own problems that she never liked brought up. He winced when he realized that he had not truly talked to them in a long while, a few texts notwithstanding. Luckily even though they were out of the way the signal on his phone was sufficient.</p><p>"Nico, heads up." Nico looked up and the next thing he knew he was reaching out and catching an Orange Shocktop. He stared at the flavored beer in his hands, then up at Percy who had thrown it to him. Percy came around and settled down beside him, Grover sat on the other side of Nico. "You looked like you could use that. What's on your mind?" Percy asked, and in the firelight his eyes were the same cerulean as the sky above. Nico looked at Grover and Grover grinned.</p><p>"I can guess,"</p><p>Nico chuckled quietly, "Any other time you might be right, but it's not that." <em>Not Percy. Not this time. </em>Nico corrected in his head.</p><p>"If it's not <em>that</em>," Percy said, obviously meaning what was going on between the two of them, "then what is it?"</p><p>"I was missing some friends of mine," Nico saw no reason to lie. Percy popped the cap of Nico's beer for him and handed it back. "Thanks."</p><p>"No problem," Percy gave him a small smile and then popped the top of his own beer, "when was the last time you talked to them?"</p><p>"A couple of weeks ago," Nico answered. "It's hard to keep up with them and us."</p><p>"Us?" Percy asked. Nico gave him a pointed look.</p><p>"Both forms of us, us as friends and us as…" He let his voice trail for a minute and Percy nodded, thankful that the others were deep in their own conversation at different stations around the fire. Nico pulled his hotdog away from the flame and grabbed the nearby buns.</p><p>"You could probably get in contact with them up here, signal's not too bad." Percy suggested.</p><p>"Yeah, I'd planned on it." Nico answered with a small smile, looking down at his phone.</p><p>For a moment Percy looked sheepish, "Are you interested in anybody over there?" Nico had to blink, process the question, and then blink again.</p><p>"Well, as you know my boyfriend and I broke up due to…mutual differences. It wasn't really so much a break-up as a 'he hit me, I ran, he threw a brick at the car I was jumping into' kinda thing', so..."</p><p>"That's actually pretty awful," Sadie said, Nico looked up. Apparently everyone was listening.</p><p>"I…well, yeah. Before I left he was in the hospital and I went to see him, and I kinda promised his unconscious body that we'd get back together. I was pretty emotional, kinda down about some stuff, you know?" Nico took another sip of beer, it belatedly occurred to him that he had eaten very little earlier that day. "It kind of felt like Octavian—that's his name but I call him O—it kind of felt like O was the only one who <em>wanted </em>me, you know?" Nico shrugged. "No one else puts up with me like that."</p><p>It was quiet for a moment after that, the campfire crackled and an owl hooted far off in the distance. Cicadas serenaded the open glen, but aside from the sounds of nature no one spoke. Annabeth was the first to pipe up, "Well," She said after a time, "while you're here we'll all put up with you." Nico smiled at that for a moment.</p><p>"Thanks," He stared into the fire, then up at her, meeting her gray eyes glowing in the soft firelight. "Percy's really lucky to have someone like you."</p><p>"Hey, you've got me too, now." She smiled genially.</p><p>"You've got all of us, brother, not speaking for Carter-dude and his li'l sis, that is." Grover grinned.</p><p>"We wouldn't've have come up here if we didn't like him," Sadie said. "And I have a name, I'm not 'Carter's "li'l" sis'—it's Sadie. Say-dee."</p><p>Grover laughed, "Yes, ma'am, Miss Say-dee."</p><p>Nico's eyes landed on Reyna, who he was coming to find seemed to be more of the quiet type unless she had something of importance to say. She gave him one curt nod and looked away. Then there was an arm around his shoulders and he looked over at Percy who was smiling.</p><p>"Looks like you've got a lot more friends in New York than you thought."</p><p>"I suppose I do." Nico said, suddenly flustered at all the attention. "This isn't "talk about Nico" night, let's talk about something else."</p><p>"Let's roast these hotdogs so we can talk about smoking this fatty I brought with me, brother," Grover produced a small tin from his pocket and shook it a bit. Juniper laughed, shaking her head. "I learned the hard way, my friend: fix your food first, <em>then </em>get high as shit."</p><p>"Do you ever think of anything else?" She asked. He responded in kind by curling a hand around her waist.</p><p>"I think about you, my love, I always think about you." He waggled his eyebrows and she broke out into a fit of giggles. So the night progressed and they continued cooking their hotdogs over the fire before they had a paper plate stacked high with them. Someone pulled the buns out of the cooler, along with ketchup and mustard. Grover grinned, "Anyone opposed to smoking this just pass it to the left," He looked pointedly at Carter, who looked away. "Rules of the circle: puff, puff, pass, don't take more than you can handle—that's a waste of weed, if you don't cough you're not smoking it right that too is a waste of weed, and as always: have fun flying Air Gro."</p><p>"I'm gonna get another beer before we start up," Percy announced, "Anybody want anything?"</p><p>"Get me one," Nico answered.</p><p>"Bud?"</p><p>"Michelob."</p><p>"Get me a Mike's, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth interjected.</p><p>When no one else ventured anything, probably due to the fact that most everyone else still had drinks, he said, "Coming right up," And clambered with a slight sway over to the cooler.</p><p>The sound of a lighter clicking gave weight to the fact that Grover was lighting the blunt between his lips, the afterburn lit the shadows out of his face as he inhaled deeply. He seemed to be holding his breath for a time before exhaling, "You know what we should do?" He announced, passing to his left, Juniper took the proffered smoke and brought it to her lips.</p><p>"I have a feeling you're going to tell us," Reyna said pointedly.</p><p>"Too true," Grover grinned as Juniper exhaled, coughing slightly, and passed on to Annabeth, "We should play Truth-or-Dare, it's classic. Bunch of teenagers gathered around a campfire, doing all the things their parents told them not to, we should push the envelope."</p><p>"A bunch of kids and me," Carter said. Eyeing Sadie as she reached for the blunt, he went to grab it out of her hands to stop her.</p><p>"Don't be such an old geezer, brother dearest." Sadie turned her body so it was out of his reach. "Have fun." She brought it up to her lips before he could stand to take it from her. Sighing he fell into his seat as she found herself in a fit of coughing.</p><p>"Serves you right," He said taking it from her and handing it off to Reyna, who looked at the thing and grabbed it. With what looked like more thought than should have been put forth she, too, partook. It could have been that she was working on her third Mike's Hard Lemonade that her inhibitions were so lowered.</p><p>By the time it came to Annabeth Percy had returned with the drinks and had popped the tops off of them. "I really shouldn't." Annabeth said.</p><p>"You don't have to if you don't want," Percy said amiably.</p><p>"Thank you, Percy," Annabeth replied wryly, "I know I don't <em>have </em>to, it isn't some social paradigm that if I do not smoke this I am suddenly be alienated from the group, we saw that with Carter." Percy just smiled at her, "Was that a bit much?" She asked.</p><p>"A tad," He replied.</p><p>"Well, either way, I said I shouldn't, I didn't say I wouldn't." She pointed out. "This goes to expanding the mind, to trying new possibilities, and to not being close-minded on topics I have done no particular research on."</p><p>"You're stalling," Grover called from just a few seats away from her, "you and Reyna do that smart-talk mumbo-jumbo when you're stalling." Annabeth swallowed first before she inhaled, hers was the worst cough yet. "Well, you went a little too hard, but you did it, congratulations." She couldn't yet form a reply, but within a few moments her hard coughs were more throat-clearings than anything else.</p><p>"That's…different." She remarked, handing the blunt to Percy. To his credit he was much more expert this time around than the past two times he had tried, he still coughed but he passed it to Nico.</p><p>"Here goes a pro," Grover grinned, Nico gave him a sidelong glance before he inhaled deeply. He held the smoke in his lungs for a few second before exhaling from his nose and passed it back to Grover. "Like a fucking champion, my friend. You're the only one out here who can hang with me besides Juni. Girl smokes like a fucking chimney man, you can't tell just by looking at her but she's got skills."</p><p>Juniper just rolled her eyes, "Don't tell them that, Grover! What's that saying, don't believe anything you hear and half of what you see?" Grover just grinned more as smoke poured out of his mouth through his smiling teeth.</p><p>"I'm just playing, baby." He looked at Nico and shook his head in a contradictory fashion. Juniper smacked him on the back of the head but accepted the blunt next. "Ow," Grover said, and his girlfriend looked satisfied by that. Grover rubbed his head and said, "So are we playing this game or what?"</p><p>"What are the parameters? Because you're all underaged and I don't really want to be made to kiss any of you, considering the illegality of it all."</p><p>"Bit ironic talking about illegality with me blowing smoke in your face isn't, Carter? I've heard you can still be affected by just the smoke," Sadie was smiling, Carter wanted to glare at her but at that moment he suddenly felt much lighter as if her bringing light to the situation made him realize how much of himself he wasn't at that moment.</p><p>"Sadie that's pretty messed up," Grover smirked. "I like it."</p><p>"Someone had to loosen him up," Sadie replied. "So the only rule I can think of is not making me do anything with my brother, otherwise everything else is fair game."</p><p>"We think the same thing." Grover replied, "So first order of business, truth or dare?"</p><p>Sadie rolled her eyes, "Truth, of course, I'm not going to be the first guinea pig."</p><p>"Psh, that's no fun." Grover thought for a moment, "Alright, how many guys have you been with that your brother doesn't know about?"</p><p>"Sadie doesn't date—"</p><p>"Four, two when I went to visit Gran and Grandpa last summer and two when I came back to the States,"</p><p>"Oh? I thought you were <em>from </em>England, is that accent fake?" Reyna asked.</p><p>Sadie rolled her eyes, "No, Mum had me over there, it was when she and Dad were fighting. So I stayed with her in England for about seven years, then we came back when they reconciled. I still visit them every other summer, which is where I met Walt, and a lovely boy named Anubis before him."</p><p>"What kind of name is Anubis?" Percy asked.</p><p>"The same kind of name Perseus is, O Greek hero of old." Annabeth answered.</p><p>Carter just sat looking unhappily at his sister. She turned to him and rolled her eyes, "Oh calm down, Carter. Honestly, you're worse than our father. Now, truth-or-dare, brother dearest?"</p><p>"Truth." Carter said, Sadie eyed him evilly. "Dare. I meant dare." He amended quickly.</p><p>"Good, because I was going to ask you about that time I caught you on Dad's laptop in his study, the computer was making the most interesting noises for you to have been on a studying website…highly feminine noises." Carter looked mortified. "But, you said dare. I dare you to kiss our friend Nico, full on the lips, for at least ten seconds." If before Carter was mortified now he was humiliated and defeated.</p><p>"Truth!" Carter said. "I want a truth!"</p><p>"Ah-ah-ah, Carter, you only get to change your answer once." Sadie chided.</p><p>Carter rolled his eyes, "Nico doesn't want to kiss me, do you Nico?"</p><p>Nico shrugged, "I mean, it's not like we haven't." Percy and Sadie looked at Nico askance, then at Carter, who's head was dropped as if in shame.</p><p>"Then this should be no problem for you at all, Carter." Sadie replied with a malicious grin.</p><p>"Do I really have to do this?" There were several 'yeses' around the campfire, though Percy said nothing, which Nico noticed. Carter sighed. "Fine."</p><p>Nico looked offended, though the curve of the smile at the end of his lips was hard to hide, "Well if you're so disgusted by the thought of me then you don't <em>have</em> to do it," He said dramatically.</p><p>"No!" Carter tried to amend. "It's not that at all!"</p><p>"Then pucker up loverboy." Sadie grinned, nudging Carter off of the log they were sitting on, more of an excuse to smoke the still rotating blunt than anything. Carter got up almost sluggishly, definitely affected by what was being passed around regardless of the fact that he hadn't partaken. He came over to Nico, who scooted over on the bench—which was really just him scooting closer to Percy who was trying hard to keep the glint out of his eyes—and sat down.</p><p>"Make me swoon," Nico grinned. Carter didn't say anything, he dipped his head forward slowly and barely brushed lips with Nico. In return Nico smirked for a moment before opening his mouth slightly and putting more passion into the kiss than was necessary. He brought his hands up and ran them through Carter's afro-hair, the curls soft and bouncy under his fingertips. Carter's mouth softened a bit before he was kissing him back, then it was Carter who was leading the kiss, seeming to forget everything he had said beforehand. Someone cleared their throat, someone else said, "That it's been more than ten seconds," Someone else laughed. Carter looked incredibly flustered and excused himself back to his seat across the fire from Nico. Nico just gave a light chuckle. "Better than last time," He said with a grin. Carter's head fell again.</p><p>"Carter, my friend, it's your turn, dude." Grover prompted. "Unless you want to give us another spectacular display like that again." Even in the darkness they could see that Carter's face was darker than normal, flushed and embarrassed.</p><p>"Fine," He said with an edge of irritation, "I dare you to streak from here to the end of the driveway and back." Grover's eyebrow rose.</p><p>"If you wanted to get me naked you could have asked nicely, brother. Juniper wouldn't mind." Carter recoiled slightly, embarrassment rising tenfold, but before anything else could be said Grover's shirt was pulled over his head, Carter's mouth dropped open. He hadn't expected Grover to actually do it. "I'm gonna go ahead and use my turn before I do this, Percy I dare you to join me."</p><p>"I didn't even get the choice," Percy interjected.</p><p>"Brother, I already know everything about you, what could I possibly ask that I don't know? It's not like we won't go skinny dipping at least once while we're up here."</p><p>Percy considered that before he stood up and took his shirt off as well.</p><p>"This is a thing that's happening," Reyna said, sounding none too pleased. Nico only watched as they disrobed. He stared in quiet appreciation, Grover's body wasn't defined but there was a mixture of softness and hardness to his shape. He was soft in the right places and was more toned in others. Nico wasn't sure if this was due to any kind of working out or good genetics but he was banking on the latter, considering.</p><p>"Looking's free," Grover announced to everyone, "all touching requests must go through my lady." Juniper just grinned. "She likes my butt," He told them as he was stepping out of his pants. Nico would have been lying if he were to say he wasn't curious, but he found himself averting his eyes more as Grover lost more clothes. It was strange seeing him so free, though he was hardly what one would call "tied down" most of the time. Still, there was a sort of intimacy that went with seeing someone completely nude. He snuck in a glance at Percy who was turned from everyone so that nothing of his front could be seen, but he was stepping out of his boxers. Nico looked up again in time to see a thick patch of hair below Grover's waist, and the outline of his manhood before the young man was turning and running. Percy in tow.</p><p>He did have a nice ass, they both did. "Freedom!" Grover yelled, arms above his head as he did the world's most comical run. Percy was more subdued, but he ran with just as much fervor, if not to get the dare over with.</p><p>When they came back Nico got a full shot of Grover, his eyebrows rose and he cocked his head to the side a bit. '<em>Not bad</em>.' He thought to himself, chuckling quietly. Both boys quickly redressed, Grover chose to leave his shirt off and took a swig of his drink.</p><p>"Well I like this game if no one else does," Sadie said.</p><p>"I'm a fan myself," Nico laughed. Percy blushed.</p><p>"Aw, Percy's shy." Annabeth grinned, grabbing his cheek.</p><p>"I would dare you to make-out with Reyna if I wasn't sure she would only pay me back in kind," Percy glared. He looked at Nico, "Nico, truth-or-dare?"</p><p>"After that?" Nico asked with a small chuckle, "Truth."</p><p>Percy thought for a moment, "Have you ever made-out with one of your California friends that wasn't your boyfriend?" Percy asked. Nico looked unimpressed.</p><p>"All of them." He replied. "We have truth-or-dare in California, Percy." That earned a laugh from everyone gathered. Nico shook his head, "Oh, well. Hm," He looked around the circle, "Reyna, truth-or-dare?"</p><p>"Truth." Reyna said without thinking. "I'm not being suckered into dumb shit."</p><p>"Truthfully, who are you crushing on?" Nico asked, Reyna stared at him for a moment then sighed.</p><p>"At the moment? No one, there was a guy but he's gone now. Moving on." Reyna's answer was abrupt but no one wanted to press her. "Perseus," Percy's eyes nearly bulged from his head.</p><p>"I literally just went two turns ago." Percy whined.</p><p>"Yes, you did. Truth-or-dare?" Percy observed Reyna, wary of her and the hard glint in her eyes. She wouldn't out him, he didn't think, but she had been drinking and smoking and anything was liable to slip out of her mouth.</p><p>"Dare." He said tentatively.</p><p>"I dare you to kiss Nico, but make it better than Carter's."</p><p>"Hey!" Carter called.</p><p>"You were sloppy," Reyna shrugged.</p><p>"All over the place, really," Sadie added. Carter's shoulders sagged.</p><p>"It wasn't that bad, Carter," Nico told him with a smile then he looked at Reyna. "And why am I the guinea pig?"</p><p>"Because you're the only admittedly gay guy out here," Reyna replied. There was an emphasis on the word admittedly.</p><p>"Perce can kiss me if he wants," Grover suggested.</p><p>"Carter likes boys," Sadie said, which only made the poor boy sink even further downward.</p><p>"The dare was for Percy to kiss Nico," Reyna said, and Nico knew suddenly then that she knew something she shouldn't have. "I triple dog dare you."</p><p>"You can't skip the double dog dare!" Percy looked at Annabeth. "You can't be okay with this?"</p><p>"Do I seem like the jealous type?" Annabeth asked with a quizzical but good natured look on her face. "If I'm lucky you'll learn something from him." Percy gave her a deadpan expression.</p><p>"Fine. I double dog dare you, and then I triple dog dare you."</p><p>"You might as well do it, Percy," Sadie said. "Really, putting it off only makes you look suspect."</p><p>"I would turn down the kiss, but Annabeth has said you need the practice," Nico grinned evilly, though his eyes flickered to Reyna, who met his brief gaze and returned it without flinching.</p><p>"Just do it, brother, it'll be over quick," Grover goaded.</p><p>Percy drained the last of his beer, which was half a can, "Well I feel desirable tonight between you and Carter." Nico said unhappily.</p><p>"I think the liquid courage was more for him than any offense given to you, brother." Grover added. Nico still didn't look impressed. Percy gave him an apologetic look before he leaned forward and pecked him on the lips.</p><p>"I said better than Carter's, you're making Carter look like Casanova,"</p><p>"I really think you guys should lay off poor Carter," Annabeth said, Juniper nodded her agreement.</p><p>"Thank you!" Carter exclaimed. Percy ignored all of this as he looked at Nico. There was a moment, a spark, but Percy hesitated and Nico sighed, closing his eyes.</p><p>"You know what? I decline to be properly kissed by him, just not comfortable with it right now." Nico said. No one could argue with that, though Reyna did look like she wanted to say otherwise she didn't. "And since he did kiss me at least a little I say he did the dare, which means it's your turn, Perce." There was relief in Percy's eyes, Nico just looked away.</p><hr/><p>The game continued, Nico was thankful that everyone else seemed to think he'd had enough kissing and they'd moved onto other targets. The kiss between Grover and Carter was what had the group in stitches. "You're welcome," Grover grinned, Carter just looked dazed and didn't answer anyone for ten full second. The kept going until about midnight, where the campfire had become just coals and cinders and burned down low, "I think I'm going to head to bed guys," Nico said stretching.</p><p>"Lame!" Grover said, clearly a little drunk.</p><p>"We might walk the nature trail, it's pretty at night, remember?" Percy asked. Nico just stared for a moment before looking away.</p><p>"Nah, I'm actually feeling kind of tired. Been up for a long time, you know?" He answered, not looking Percy in the eye. "Maybe tomorrow night, besides I've seen it and you don't need me to help you guide these guys."</p><p>"Are you sure?" From Percy's tone he could sense something, but Nico wasn't going to give him the answer that easily.</p><p>"I'm sure. You guys be careful," Nico walked towards the cabin.</p><p>"Is something the matter with him?" Annabeth asked as he retreated.</p><p>"Percy, you should go check on him," Reyna said. Percy turned to look at her, but she simply shrugged.</p><p>"Yeah, sure. I need to take the cooler in anyway," Percy said. "You guys gather your cans and stuff, there's a garbage bag underneath the cooler." He went and retrieved said cooler and Grover grabbed the garbage bag. Then Percy made his way into the cabin. He set the cooler in the kitchen. "Nico?" He called out moving towards Nico's room.</p><p>The door was closed, but unlocked. Percy pushed his way in. "Nico?" He asked again. Nico was rolled into a ball under his blankets. He closed the door behind him as he came in. "You're upset about something, but I don't know what," Percy admitted. Nico didn't volunteer anything. "Was it the kiss? I'm sorry. I froze up. I didn't know if I could control myself, you know? If I kissed you out there everyone would have known how I felt about you, and that's not a bad thing, but we discussed it, I'm just not ready for that yet." He was easing towards the bed.</p><p>"It's not just that," Nico finally answered and Percy sat on the bed.</p><p>"Then what is it?"</p><p>"Everything." Nico said. "You would be the perfect guy for me if you weren't pretending to be straight, and if you didn't have a totally awesome girlfriend. I want to make her into some kind of villain, into some sort of hate-able person because that would make me trying to be with you while you're with her so much easier. But she's a great person, Percy. Before I knew her lying to myself and saying that it wasn't cheating was one thing, but knowing her, seeing her smile, watching her offer to be friends with me, I don't think I can…" Nico's body seemed to curl in further upon itself. "It's not fair to her and it's not fair to me. I don't want to make you choose yet, but you need to decide so I can know what my options are. I don't want to wait forever, I don't want to sneak around, I don't want you to freeze up while we're playing truth-or-dare because you're afraid everyone will know that you're not exclusively straight. Or into girls at all for that matter."</p><p>Percy looked away, staring at the closed door, "We knew this was going to be hard going into it." He said.</p><p>"Knowing and experiencing are two different things." Nico replied. Percy laid down, wrapping himself around the blanket shod Nico.</p><p>"I know saying 'I'm sorry' won't making things better, but I'm sorry I can't just flip the switch yet. I'm trying to gather up my own courage. It's taking longer than I thought." Nico was still for a moment.</p><p>"Just promise me you'll decide," Percy nodded, but when he realized Nico couldn't see him he pulled the blankets off of his head and waited for Nico to turn around.</p><p>"I promise." He said. He smiled at the misty eyed young man, "Truth-or-dare?" He asked.</p><p>"I don't want to play anymore," Nico said.</p><p>Percy climbed on top of him, "Not an option, truth-or-dare?" He asked again.</p><p>"You're high and you're drunk, Percy. And I'm drunk and high and—"</p><p>"Truth," Percy poked his side, smiling so wide Nico couldn't help but return it whether he wanted to or not, "or dare?"</p><p>"Truth."</p><p>"Do you still like me? Even after all that?"</p><p>"Yes, against all of my instincts and better judgment. Coming out is harder than it should be, it's emotional and not everyone is as lucky as I was to do it as young as I did." Nico answered. Percy touched the side of his cheek and he leaned into it.</p><p>"You're supposed to ask me truth-or-dare?"</p><p>"Percy this is stupid, we don't have to play this game anymore."</p><p>"Ask me,"</p><p>Nico sighed, "Truth-or-dare?" But he really had no questions in mind or dares to give.</p><p>"Dare." Percy replied.</p><p>"I dare you to let me go to sleep," Nico pushed but Percy wouldn't get off of him, admittedly Nico didn't push that hard.</p><p>"I dare you to let me kiss you," Percy grinned wider if it were possible.</p><p>"That's not the way the game works," But Nico didn't protest as he moved forward, laying his chest on Nico's and pressing their lips together; it was a deep, private sort of kiss that spoke of promises and made Nico's heart flutter. Before all too long it was over and Percy was standing up. When Percy pulled back he said, "Everyone's waiting on me. On us. Are you sure you don't want to come on the nature walk? It won't be as fun without you."</p><p>"I'm sure." Nico said though he so badly wanted to change his mind now, he knew better. "Go."</p><p>Percy pecked him on the lips again, "Are you sure you're okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine." He wasn't.</p><p>"Don't say you are if you aren't." Nico was surprised by that. "You might not remember, but I've always been able to read you, Nico. Maybe not what the problem is, but when there's a problem I can tell. So don't say you're okay when you're not."</p><p>Nico felt small then lying underneath him, and a part of him, a very large part of him, felt as if he had been caught in a huge lie. "I'm sorry," He almost whispered.</p><p>"Don't be sorry, Nico. You don't have anything to be sorry about anything." Percy stood, straightening out. "I'll be back, we'll spend more time together. Alone. This is still our place."</p><p>Nico had to chuckle, "Even if you were going to bring your girlfriend here. Alone."</p><p>"Nico…"</p><p>"Sorry," Nico stretched. "I want to go to sleep, there'll be time for more talking, and drinking, and smoking tomorrow."</p><p>"Alright, good night, Nico." With that Percy turned, looking over his shoulder one last time before departing. Nico lay there for a moment hoping that the entire trip up here wasn't going to be like this. He clutched at his phone. He wanted to call Leo or Rachel or Frank, but it would have to wait till tomorrow when he was sure they were available. Sighing he closed his eyes and tried his best to focus his mind on something else, anything else but Percy.</p><p>After a while he fell asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Was he okay?" Annabeth asked. <em>She would be the one to ask</em>, thought Percy.</p><p>"Yeah, he's just tired." Percy answered. "He said he'd do more stuff tomorrow though."</p><p>She smiled, "Good, for a minute there I thought I was going to have to come check on you both, you were in there for a while." Percy smirked at that, the thought of Annabeth rushing in and catching him and Nico shouldn't have been funny, in fact, it was terrifying. But he burst out laughing all the same, unable to stop himself.</p><p>"What's so funny?" She asked, though there was a smirk trembling on her lips as well.</p><p>"Ah," Grover said, "side effects of cannabis may be: uncontrollable hunger and laughter, thinking Nickleback made good music, and staring at the most mundane things for hours. Some hallucinations may occur. Please do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence." Which only made Percy laugh harder. Before long everyone but Grover and Juniper were in fit of giggles.</p><p>"See?" Grover asked, "this is why I wanted to roll the weak shit, babe."</p><p>"I thought they could handle it." Juniper answered, "They were good for a little while." She looked at their friends who were collectively laughing or looking like they were trying to control their laughter. "We might as well sit on the ground for a while, it's a nice night out." She answered after a time, so they sat. "I hope this doesn't turn into a bad high for them."</p><p>"Just put out good vibes, Juni, they'll be fine." Grover grinned. He leaned over and kissed her hard on the lips. "You're beautiful in the moonlight," He told her.</p><p>"Thank you," She smirked, leaning forward and kissing him again.</p><p>"You're supposed to tell me I'm beautiful too, babe," He joked, Juniper laughed.</p><p>"Gorgeous, actually." She answered.</p><p>"Grover! Grover, have you ever noticed how silvery the moon is? Like, I thought it was made of cheese, man, but cheese is yellow, man!"</p><p>"Gonna be a long one," Grover decided, Juniper grabbed his hand and squeezed it.</p><p>"The moon <em>is </em>pretty tonight though," She said looking up at it. Grover did the same.</p><p>"I love you," He said glancing over at her.</p><p>"I love you too, man. Such a bro." Percy's smile was huge, and his eyes were bloodshot. The couple just laughed at him.</p><p>"You're a bro, babe." Juniper grinned. "I love you, bro."</p><p>"Don't encourage him." Grover smirked,</p><p>"I'll try not to, I do still love you though." And they sat there, watching their friends amble about, still laughing, or making off the wall remarks about this and that. Grover decided that next time the "weak shit" would have to be preferred.</p><hr/><p>Two hours later, an hour of which it had taken everyone to sober up slightly enough to walk the trail for a bit before they headed back inside, Reyna found herself outside of Annabeth's door. She knocked. After a few moments Percy answered, he was shirtless and a little sweaty. Annabeth was sitting on the bed trying to look like she hadn't just been buckling her pants.</p><p>"What's up, Rey?" Percy asked.</p><p>"I—" Reyna stopped short, she knew she was drunk if not still a little high, "you know what? Sorry, I was going to ask Annabeth something stupid. I'll come back another time."</p><p>"You sure? She's just right there," Percy inclined his head over his shoulder, but Reyna couldn't focus on anything but the bead of sweat working its way down his clavicle.</p><p>"Yeah," She said. "I'm sure. Sorry for interrupting." Before Percy could say anything else she was walking away. He shrugged and closed the door.</p><hr/><p>The next morning came slow and hazy. Nico rose from bed in no particular mood, he took a shower, thankful that Sally or someone was having the place kept up as there was no rust in the water and it got hot relatively fast. He stood under the spray for a long while, washing his body and then letting the water rinse the soap away.</p><p>He would have stayed in longer if there weren't seven other people that needed the hot water. Toweling off he walked the short distance from the bathroom, across the kitchen, to his room where he quickly got dressed and was deciding if he wanted breakfast or not when someone knocked on his door. It opened before he could answer it, and Percy slipped into his room.</p><p>"Morning." He said with a small smile.</p><p>"Morning," Nico answered back. "How was the nature trail?"</p><p>"We kind of all got the giggles and just sat outside the cabin laughing for about an hour and a half, then we only walked like a third of it because it was so late." Percy shrugged. "I still wish you would have come."</p><p>"You know why I didn't though,"</p><p>Percy sighed, "I know. I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's okay. I'm sober now and over it."</p><p>"I'm still sorry, I acted like a jackass. I do that a lot with you."</p><p>"At least you acknowledge it," Nico smiled faintly and wrapped his arms around Percy. "It's alright, Perce. I forgive you and your jackassery. Try to dilute it down to simply being a dick if you can."</p><p>Percy chuckled, "I'll try." He hugged Nico for a moment then kissed the top of his head, "I'm heading into town to get food for breakfast. Wanna come?"</p><p>"Who else is going?" Nico asked.</p><p>"I haven't asked anyone else." Percy returned with a smile, "hadn't planned on it actually." Nico tried not to smile back, but Percy swooped down and kissed him on the mouth. "You just brush your teeth? You taste minty." Percy grinned, kissing Nico again.</p><p>"I just took a shower and stuff, yeah," Nico answered, stepping away a bit. If he got sex hair while his hair was still wet it wouldn't comb out without serious some elbow grease. He was still being held in Percy's arms.</p><p>"Shame I missed it," Percy told him. "You should take one with me tomorrow morning."</p><p>Nico smirked, "We'll see, maybe you'll finally end this dry spell of mine."</p><p>"We could end it right now."</p><p>"What about breakfast?" Nico asked, sure that Percy's response was a joke, though that didn't stop his blood from turning into hot jolts of electricity at the thought of finally having sex with Percy.</p><p>"We'll get it afterwards,"</p><p>"Wait. You're serious? What about the others?" Nico put emphasis on the word <em>others</em>, meaning only one particular person.</p><p>"Everyone's still asleep, and sure to have hangovers. I'm surprised you don't," Nico gave him a pointed look.</p><p>"Unlike the rest of our friends I am not a lightweight."</p><p>"How well I know," Percy smirked. "So what do you say? We could get back in the shower."</p><p>Nico didn't answer for a moment. He and Percy were, relatively, alone in one of his favorite places in the world. How many opportunities like this would he get? "Too obvious," Nico said after a fashion, "There's only one bathroom, someone might wander in."</p><p>"Well we can do it right here," Percy pressed himself flush against Nico. "We're alone, finally, no one to bother us for a few hours. What do you say?"</p><p>"I don't know," Nico shrugged. "There's still a lot of stuff we have to work out," Percy waited and Nico sighed, "It's not that I don't want to Percy. Fuck, I mean I brought my—" He stopped and blushed, "—that thing you were playing with when you were drunk a few weeks ago with me. I'm more pent up than a cliché for things that are pent up. I can't even think of good analogies about it. But, do you really think it would be a good idea?"</p><p>"Personally?" There was a devious grin on his face.</p><p>"Okay, <em>you </em>think it would be a great idea. But there are several things that I'm still worried about: 1. Annabeth, 2. Once I let you get your rocks off where is that going to leave me? Are you gonna just kind of make this a onetime thing? I don't want to be an experiment, Percy, 3. Well, there is no three but lists are better in threes."</p><p>"I wouldn't just—you're not a onetime thing, Nicky. You know better than that." Percy actually looked hurt. Nico quickly apologized.</p><p>"It's just after last night I don't know if I could handle a repeat of it, and if we <em>did it </em>I especially wouldn't be able to get through that. You can't get all nervous and distant with me like that again,"</p><p>"I won't," Percy said, "I swear, no matter the situation. I won't do that to you again." Nico looked at him squarely.</p><p>"Do you promise?"</p><p>"I promise." Percy crossed his heart. Nico looked thoughtful again for a long moment before he said, "Sit on the bed and take off your shirt." Percy sat and shed his shirt. "I'm still not convinced about going all the way with you just yet, and in the back of my head I know it's a phenomenally bad idea, but I think I know a way to tide you over." Percy just stared at him, waiting. Nico knelt in front of him and grabbed the button of his jeans. He quickly had them unbuttoned and unzipped, "Sit up for a second," Percy did and Nico dragged his pants and underwear down around his ankles. Percy's already semi-erectness stared him in the face full on. It lay languidly against his perfect creamy thigh, thick, hooded and beginning to swell to life; Percy's testes sat underneath the slow growing erection, obviously full and wanting release.</p><p>Nico sat back on his haunches and took in the sight of Percy for a time. In many of his years he had imagined seeing exactly this and he was not disappointed. As a swimmer Percy's body was shaven and lean, he was leaning on his muscular arms for support and staring back at Nico with his sea-green eyes that were never blue nor true green. A moment of peace found Nico as he looked on at the body of his longings fully naked before him. All the other naggings he felt were put away for this moment, and he would not care about them again until they resurfaced.</p><p>"Say something. This is making me a little self-conscious." Percy finally broke those few seconds of silence. Instead of answering Nico grabbed him at his his erection, wrapping expert fingers around it, and stroked it slowly. Percy watched in rapt fascination and before he knew it he was fully aroused in Nico's hand.</p><p>Nico smirked, "You always were an overachiever," He said, which made Percy blush momentarily, but with another strong stroke his eyes almost fluttered shut as he bit his bottom lip. "And don't worry, this," Nico stroked downward, "Is nothing to be self-conscious of."</p><p>A moan quivered out of Percy, shaky and breathless, before he said, "Take off your clothes. I want to see you." Nico let him go and quickly stripped, settling back on his knees in front of Percy, who was watching him with eyes half lidded. Taking hold of Percy again at his base Nico put the tip of Percy's penis to his lips. Percy moaned quietly, and Nico laved at the side of his manhood with his tongue, he slowly swallowed the other young man's considerable size down. Breathing through his nose he bobbed his head, sucking inwardly while keeping a firm hold of Percy with his fingers meeting his mouth in the middle between strokes of his hand and bobs of his head. "Oh, my God." Percy leaned forward, running a hand down Nico's naked back. "Oh, my God. That feels fucking amazing." He said again as Nico sucked harder, he pulled Percy out of his mouth and stroked the length quickly. Percy looked at a loss for words, but the pure pleasure on his face assured Nico he was doing a good enough job.</p><p>Percy hooked a hand under Nico's arm and pulled him up into a bruising kiss. He then had Nico straddle his lap and thrust upward into the other boy's own awaking erection. Percy's hands were planted firmly on the sides of Nico's ass and he guided the boy to rut slowly downward while he thrust up and soon Nico, too, was fully aroused. Percy grabbed them both in one hand and began stroking, Nico grinding into his hand in tempo with swiveling hips.</p><p>They kept at this for a few minutes before Percy asked in a sort of breathless, needy voice that was hot air against Nico's ear, "Will you suck me some more?" Nico nodded, eyes glazed over with lust before kissing him again and dismounting his lap. This time he deep-throated Percy down to his base and held tight to Percy's hips so his throat wasn't bucked into. Pulling back from the spit-slicked shaft Nico stroked it, licking the head—which had become an angry red color and glistened at the very tip with pre-cum. He nipped gently at the junction where the shaft met the testes and flicked his tongue sinfully, then dragged his tongue back up the entire underside of Percy's shaft until he placed the whole thing in his mouth again.</p><p>Percy's moans were quiet as if they were afraid to escape; though his eyes were squeezed shut and his fingers were fisting the sheets into a wrinkled mess. Nico smirked around the girth in his mouth, determined to make the young man he was fellatiating more audible. He increased speed, sucking harder still, and ran his nails over Percy's thighs, not hard enough to draw blood but just hard enough to leave small, red marks.</p><p>Percy gave a deep, guttural moan, "Oh! Shit! Nico, I'm gonna cum," Nico pulled Percy from his mouth again and stroked him to completion. He watched the contraction of muscles in Percy's abdominals, felt the tenseness in the other young man's body surging forward, watched the sweet satisfaction of release conform Percy's face into ecstasy, and finally the thin ribbons of semen that shot from his throbbing manhood. Percy coated the side of Nico's face, his shoulders, and the front of his chest before he was done. Relief flooded Percy's face next, and then the smile, "You're a fucking genius,"</p><p>"Yeah," Nico deadpanned, wiping at his white-splattered cheek, "I know. Next time try to warn a guy." Percy just smirked and grabbed him about the middle; pulling him up, switching their positions where Nico sat on the bed and he sat on his knees.</p><p>"You've got a big dick." He sounded slightly surprised while he stroked Nico lazily, eliciting grunts of pleasure as he did so. "Considering how little <em>you</em> are I thought it'd be small, actually I was hoping it would be, that would've made this easier—"</p><p>"What are you doing?" Nico's breathing was labored and his eyebrow was raised inquisitorially, and though his eyes were still kaleidoscopic with lust there was no small hint of curiosity there as well.</p><p>Percy just laughed, "Returning the favor," He answered, looking at the throbbing erection between Nico's legs that was begging for some sort of release.</p><p>"You don't have to," Nico said though his dick said otherwise, pleaded otherwise.</p><p>Percy gave him a baleful glance, "I want to suck your dick, now are you gonna let me or not?" Nico's closed his mouth; belatedly he could still taste Percy's seed. Percy had his lips around him in the next moment.</p><p>"Teeth!" Nico moaned, "You have to—oh! Yeah! Like that!" He moaned, letting his head fall back. Percy gagged after a moment of overzealously taking Nico too far down, "Breathe through your nose and swallow at the same time," Nico instructed him, running a hand through Percy's hair lovingly. It took a moment but Percy got the hang of it and Nico found that he had to keep himself from pushing that bobbing head all the way down, as tempting as it was. It may have been the sloppiest blowjob he'd ever received but Percy was nothing if not enthusiastic, and in situations such as these sometimes enthusiasm beat out skill. He let Percy fellatiate him at his own rate, though it was an aching and slow burn of pleasure that crept into his chest and was soon pumping through his veins.</p><p>The most exciting part for him, perhaps, was watching Percy. Those dark pink lips wrapped around his manhood, blue-green eyes staring up at him watching him back just as intently. For the first time in a long time Nico lost himself to the wanton folds of lust with another man without the assistance of drugs. His body shook as Percy sucked harder, and he shuddered once, and then again before his climax ripped through him like a bolt of lightning. He had to cover his mouth with his hand because he hadn't expected to finish so suddenly, or so intensely.</p><p>"Wow." If Nico had been surprised by it Percy certainly was, he wiped at his mouth, "Yup, you did that right down my throat. No warning. I guess that answers spit or swallow for me."</p><p>Nico couldn't help it, the chuckle that broke out of him. His vision was suddenly blurry with tears and he felt unexpectedly emotional, "I'm sorry!" He laughed, he fell down to the floor wrapping his arms around Percy. "I'm so sorry!"</p><p>"You're very salty," Percy told him matter-of-factly while embracing him back. The tears spilled over and he didn't know why he was crying except that he was so very happy in that moment. Percy kissed him for a long while, "I didn't mind," He said with a smile; Nico reached up and wiped at the side of Percy's mouth where some of his seed had escaped to, he laughed harder. "You can't laugh! You know you're covered in jizz too?"</p><p>Suddenly they were both laughing.</p><p>It took a moment for composure's sake before either one could look at the other without bursting out laughing, causing a chain reaction of the same effect from the other.</p><p>"I have to shower again," Nico said after a time.</p><p>"Let's push our luck. We have to make it quick but I'll jump in with you," Percy grinned, standing. They grabbed their clothes, and Nico opened the door to find that the living room and kitchen were both empty, and he could see that the bathroom was unoccupied. Scurrying as naked as the day they were born into the shower they washed quickly, though hands lingered longer than they should have. Nico kissed Percy under the spray of the water and they rubbed wet, naked skin on skin, but before too long it was over and they were toweling off.</p><p>Nico grabbed his toothbrush, thankful he'd left it in the bathroom, and began to brush his teeth while Percy dried and put on clothes. The next thing Nico knew his towel was missing from around his waist, he turned and stared at Percy who was just smiling. "I like it better without the towel," He said as if that explained everything, Nico rolled his eyes but didn't put up a fight, he just finished re-brushing his teeth. He spit into the sink and rinsed, "I have mouthwash in my room," He was saying as pulled on his clothes. "If you don't want to go back upstairs just yet."</p><p>"Sounds good, we really should go into town now," Percy answered, Nico opened the door to the bathroom. Sitting at the kitchen table were Reyna and Sadie, who seemed to be trying to find some kind of conversation. That is until they both looked up and saw Nico and Percy.</p><p>"I knew it." Reyna said.</p><p>"Obviously, was this a secret?" Sadie answered. Nico turned to look at Percy, who was frozen to the spot. He felt his heart skip a beat, but he swallowed.</p><p>"Percy, go wait in my room." Percy's eyes locked onto Nico's, "It'll be alright, just go wait in my room." Percy nodded, Nico squeezed his shoulder as he passed not looking at either girl at the kitchen table. When Percy was gone Nico walked squarely up to Reyna and stared her directly in the eyes. "Do you have something to say?"</p><p>"Only that I knew you two were fucking behind Annabeth's back," Reyna shrugged.</p><p>"We are not fucking. We haven't had sex," Nico said, though he wasn't sure if that was completely true considering what they had done in his bedroom. Really it depended on one's definition of sex.</p><p>"Either way, he's a cheater and you're a homewrecker."</p><p>"They aren't married, it's hard to wreck a home that doesn't exist," Nico countered. "And Percy is going to tell her about us soon."</p><p>"Is this why you came back to New York, so you could break-up your old boyfriend and his new girlfriend?" Reyna asked, her eyes narrowed. "You're crazy." At the word "crazy" Nico felt like he wanted to lash out, but Sadie's hands were suddenly on his wrists.</p><p>He looked into her warm brown eyes, which were sympathetic and understanding, and then he sighed. "You're right," He told Reyna, who was observing them coldly, "I am crazy, I go to a therapist and everything. I cut myself and I pop pills and I do drugs, well, I haven't for a long time, but I still have the urge to do those things. That's why I came to New York, to get fixed. Percy was never part of my plan, and I damn sure was never part of his. We just got thrown together at a bad time for both of us." He looked at her again, "So what are you going to do? Rat us out to Annabeth? Make her hate us?"</p><p>"I should," Reyna said, "You don't know how much I want to, she deserves better than this."</p><p>"She does," Nico conceded. "She's a better person than I am, she deserves the world."</p><p>"And I always knew Percy couldn't give it to her, I told her. I told her she needed to find someone else. To be with someone who really cared for her." Nico observed Reyna, he watched the way she spoke about Annabeth, watched the fire in her eyes as she did.</p><p>"Would that be you?" He asked after a moment. She looked up at him.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You like Annabeth. You're the one who really cares for her." Nico accused.</p><p>Reyna looked shaken, "No I don't. That's stupid. She's my best friend and I'm not gay. You're just saying things because I caught you with her boyfriend."</p><p>"I don't believe you." She swallowed and Nico continued, "Is that why you're so cool towards Percy? Because you were secretly hoping he'd fuck up like this and you could swoop in and get her all for yourself?"</p><p>Reyna was tense, sitting upright with her shoulders held stiff, "Shut up, you're not making any sense." But Nico had her, he could sense it.</p><p>"Reyna, last night everyone, including you, told me how we were all friends now. So, as your friend, you can tell me. I get having to hide who you are because you're afraid of being rejected by your friends and family, but I won't reject you."</p><p>Her eyes grew red and she stood, "Just shut up! I won't fucking say anything, alright?" She tried to charge past him, but Nico grabbed her by the arm.</p><p>"Reyna."</p><p>"You're not supposed to be able to tell!" She hissed, turning around, and Nico got the feeling that Reyna was the kind of person who never showed her emotions for fear of being made fun of. He grabbed her hand. "I worked so fucking hard at hiding it and you just pick up on it on the first couple of fucking hours you know me?"</p><p>"You're really good at hiding it," Nico said, "I couldn't tell until you started talking about her, it's the way you say things about her. You say it like you love her, just not like a sister loves another sister."</p><p>Reyna was still for a moment, "I wish you would have just stayed in California," Her voice was a whisper, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Nico found himself smiling.</p><p>"Sometimes I wish I had too, this is not the Summer I had planned. But you can only run away from yourself for so long. I won't out you if you out Percy, but just think about how you feel right now, that's how he feels. I think you two have a lot more in common than you want to admit."</p><p>"What do you want me to say?" Reyna asked, "That you're right? It doesn't matter, what you two are doing is still horrible."</p><p>"I know." Nico said. "I never meant for it to go this far, it was never supposed to get this far without her knowing. Just give him till the end of this week, I don't know how much longer I can hold out for him to tell her either."</p><p>Reyna's face was solemn, "Why should I?" Nico squeezed her hand.</p><p>"Because you're my friend, if not Percy's."</p><p>She thought about that for a moment, her eyes closing. "You have till the end of the week."</p><p>"Thank you." He smiled.</p><p>"Just let her down gently. She's a good person. A very kind hearted, good person."</p><p>Nico nodded, "I know." He said. "You are too." He let go of her hand and began to race to his room.</p><p>"Nico." Nico stopped and turned around, "I'm pretty sure they're still fooling around too. This morning I stopped off to talk to her and Percy answered the door shirtless. Both of their pants were undone, just so you know." Nico thought about that. He thought long and hard about it in just a few seconds before he decided it was an issue he would have to address later.</p><p>"Thank you." He said again. Then he turned back towards the door to his room and went inside. He found Percy sitting on the bed with his hands gripping his face, his eyes were squeezed shut. Nico closed the door behind him. "Are you alright?" He asked slowly. Percy looked up at him.</p><p>"No. Reyna's gonna tell Annabeth, and then she'll hate me and I don't know what I'm going to do without her." Percy said, his eyes were filled with tears. Nico came across the room and put his arms around Percy, who laid his head on Nico's shoulder.</p><p>"She's not going to tell her," Nico said.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"She's not going to tell her, she and I talked, you've got till the end of this week to tell Annabeth. You knew sooner or later you would have to do this. I'll be there for you the whole time." Percy held onto him tightly, hugging him hard. All Nico could think about, though, was how far Percy and Annabeth had gone only a few hours prior, but he was terrified to know the answer.</p><p>He was pulled from his thoughts when Percy held him at an arm's length and looked him squarely in the eyes, "You don't know how much that means to me." He said with sincerity. "Damage control, that is."</p><p>Nico gave him a baleful glance, "She said you have a week, Jackson. I can't guarantee anything after that."</p><p>"I know," Percy replied sighing heavily, Nico's gaze softened on him.</p><p>"Percy," He said, searching the face just in front of him inquisitively, "Is there anything…anything you want to tell me? Like, at all? That's happened since last night?"</p><p>Percy's expression showed that he had no idea what Nico meant, "Anything like what?"</p><p>Had it not been for their little <em>téte-à-téte</em> earlier Nico might not have had the courage to ask the question that was burning in his mind, but after having someone's dick in your mouth one becomes bold, "I mean about you and Annabeth." He clarified. "Did you…before you came to see me, I guess, did you two—were you intimate with her?"</p><p>"I—" Percy stopped himself. "Not intimate like you and me just were. We didn't get far."</p><p>And that felt like a slap in the face, "Were you just not going to tell me?" Nico asked, his voice ringing out hurt.</p><p>"It didn't get past making-out, really!" Percy said imploringly, "We kiss sometimes, Nico. She <em>is</em> my girlfriend."</p><p>"She's your beard." Nico replied, but Percy obviously didn't know what that meant either. "You use her so people don't think you're gay, she hides your real face. She's your beard."</p><p>Percy scoffed, "I don't use her."</p><p>"No? What do you call it when the only purpose of you two still going out since you've all but admitted to me that you aren't at all into having sex with her, is so you don't have to tell people that you're gay?" Nico was mad, not because Percy hadn't told him that he'd made-out with Annabeth, that happened probably a thousand times already, but the fact that Percy had done so and then slipped away to Nico's room for more.</p><p>"It's not like that, Nico! You know that." Percy seemed close to tears, he had been almost at the verge when Nico had come back into the room. Nico stopped, reassessed, and sighed loudly. His shoulders sagged and he sat on the bed much like a sack of flour is dropped.</p><p>"What I'm trying to say is that you can't have your cake and fucking eat it too, Percy." Nico finally said after a moment. "You don't think that it's weird for you to make-out with her and then come down here and get your dick sucked? Who are you, the fucking King of England? I'm being understanding, but when you put your mouth on me less than a few <em>hours </em>after you've had it on her—" Nico shuddered. "There are things I won't share, Percy. Saliva with your girlfriend is most especially one of them." Percy didn't answer. "Reyna is right about a few things," Nico continued and sea-green eyes found his face questioningly, timidly, as if waiting to be berated more, "Annabeth deserves better than to be cheated on. She's this amazingly bright and caring person and we keep forgetting that. You have to take her feelings into account too, Percy. She might not give a flying fuck about you being gay, but I can guarantee she would be fucking pissed if she finds out you're cheating. I would be."</p><p>"I'm going to tell her." Percy replied quietly.</p><p>"When?" Nico asked. "You know I'll be there for you, but you have to really want to do it. I can't be with you if you're with her. I refuse, Perseus, you understand that don't you?"</p><p>"I understand, Nico. I understand perfectly, but you're here for a few months, and then you're out of my life again and what do I do then? Everything will be different on top of you not being here and I don't want it to be. I don't want everything to change. And I don't want you to leave again."</p><p>Nico grabbed Percy's hand, intertwining their fingers together. "Percy, I won't just leave like I did last time. I don't know what we'll do, that seems so far off right now, but what I do know is that you've got me back in your life for good, if you do the right thing. Things are going to get different, but sometimes they have to get different to get better."</p><p>They were quiet for a time, holding hands and not saying anything and the minutes ticked on. "Saturday." He said. "Before we leave, I don't want to ruin the trip for everybody else."</p><p>"No." Nico shook his head. "You have to do it before then, I won't keep sneaking around."</p><p>"Nico—!"</p><p>"I won't, Percy! I'm tired of it, we haven't even being sneaking long and I'm tired of it." Percy slumped forward.</p><p>"When, then?" He asked.</p><p>"Thursday. it gives you enough time to prepare for it." Nico said. "She won't be mad. That's what I've been told, you just have to be honest with her."</p><p>"I don't want to lose her," Percy admitted quietly. "She means so much to me, after all this time, she's important to me. I don't want to lose her because I can't love her the way I'm supposed to."</p><p>"I know, Percy." Nico said as Percy laid his head on Nico's shoulder. "You mean a lot to her too, I'm sure. And you love her the way you're supposed to now, maybe not the way either one of you wanted, but the way you feel is the way it is supposed to be."</p><p>Another beat of silence passed, contemplative now instead of accusatory, and Percy squeezed Nico's hand. "Thank you for being here." He whispered into the stillness of the morning air. "I'm so glad you came back." Nico just sat there, holding tightly to Percy, knowing eventually they would have to face the world again.</p><p>Just not yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leo couldn't say that this was a normal Wednesday for him, because one: his mom was home from work, which was always really pleasant, and he, she, and Jason were sitting on his couch watching Rush Hour 2, which Leo was totally <em>not</em> quoting word for word. Jason was on his left, an arm thrown over Leo's shoulders as if it were the most comfortable thing in the world (and Leo was starting think that it quite possibly was) and Esperanza was sitting on his right.</p><p>He also couldn't say that this wasn't how he wanted every Wednesday to go from now on.</p><p>Leo had a young looking mom. He knew that because he would always catch creep guys staring at her, and he wasn't what you would call a protective son; that is if you disregarded him usually glaring back at them and looping arms with her every time this happened. He knew his mom was pretty the way you know the sky is blue; it's just a thing you accept without thinking much of it. That is till someone points it out to you. She had his dark hair, and they had the same caramel skin tone, and Jason had told Leo once when they were in private that he had her smile.</p><p>That had made him really happy. He loved when his mom smiled.</p><p>Okay.</p><p>Maybe he was a protective son, and maybe he was a mama's boy, but he didn't care. If you're not a momma's boy or a momma's girl and you have a good mom there's something fundamentally wrong with you. That's just how Leo felt. She had raised him almost singlehandedly by herself. His deadbeat dad ran a repair shop somewhere in St. Louis of all places and Leo barely remembered him except for a child's impression of the man's face. Bearded, kind of scarred, and he distinctly remember the white in one of his dad's eyes was much more prevalent than in the other, but he couldn't recall if he was blind in it or not. There weren't any pictures of him around the house and Leo was just fine with that.</p><p>It was about ten seconds before there was a pounding knock on his door that Leo thought he should call Nico sometime soon. His friend was almost as forgetful as he, himself, was. They were good when they were in the same city, but take one of them out of state and it turned into game of "schedule the call" where they would have to actually put a day away to call the other up. Leo knew that Rachel and Frank weren't as bad as either him or Nico, but those two usually got hurt feelings if you weren't always the first to contact them.</p><p>Call it a premonition, call it a hunch, whatever you want to call it almost ten seconds exactly after he looked at his phone to get up and go call Nico they were all rewarded with a jarring knock on the door.</p><p>"<em>Dios</em>!" Esperanza nearly swore. "Do you have more friends coming over or something, <em>mijo</em>?"</p><p>Leo shook his head, "No, me and Jayce were gonna go hang with some of his friends later but Frank and Rachel are having another girl's night so that pretty much ties up all my people." If Esperanza was affected by hearing that Frank Zhang was participating in a girl's night it didn't show on her face, the only expression she wore was latent curiosity as to who was not just at her door, but why on earth they were attempting to knock it down.</p><p>The door rattled again in its frame and Jason stood up, Leo stood too, "I can get it," He said, thinking it was sweet but he and Jason's relationship wasn't at the answering doors at each other's houses stage yet. Still, Jason walked behind him and he didn't stop him.</p><p>When he opened the door he was surprised to see Octavian, or the skeletal remains of what used to be Octavian—who had been unhealthily thin before. The first thing Leo noticed about O was how red-rimmed and glossy his blue eyes were. Eyes that had probably been enviable at one point in time as they were still a lovely shade of blue, if it weren't for that barely-there vacancy in them and the ring of red permeated by a lot of yellow where the whites should have been. Next Leo noticed that there was a hard shake in Octavian's body, a rattle of bones as if the summer air were actually some frigid winter wind.</p><p>Octavian's dyed-black hair was more that of a skunk now, blond roots well past showing and going instead into a strange gradient of nearly white blond, to semi-brown, to frayed tips that were still kohl black. Those sickly eyes were sunken in deeply, as were his cheeks, and a putrid green tongue poked out of his mouth to lick at not just chapped, but chipped lips as if to wet them, though it made no visual difference.</p><p>In what was a surprisingly clear voice he said, "Hey, uh, Hernandez, is Nico here?"</p><p>Leo just blinked, he could already feel his fingers tapping a silent staccato against the doorknob he was still holding. Jason's fingers clasped around his to stop his tinkering, but that would only work for so long before Leo's foot started.</p><p>"Wow, Octavian," He said with a strained voice, "you didn't even get my name right." The last time he had seen this loser he had been lying in a hospital bed, Nico holding his hand crying his little heart out and Leo looking on with panic that they were going to be detained and sent to the police station for disturbing the peace. "How do you know where I live?"</p><p>"Dropped Nico off here a few times," Octavian replied, scratching at a nonexistent itch on his lip. "Do you know where he is? I talked to him a few weeks ago, said he was in New York, I was so mad I threw my phone against the wall. My parents won't buy me a new one, they threatened to cut me off completely. Said I had to get my shit together, so I'm trying to but I can't without Nico. I love him and I need him here with me so I can recover." There was a ghost of a smile on that dry excuse for a mouth, and with such a tiny gesture it looked as if his lips were going to crack and bleed.</p><p>"Well he isn't here," Jason said from behind Leo.</p><p>"Wasn't asking you, was I, pretty boy?" Octavian mustered a sneer that still showed through even on such feeble features.</p><p>"No, but you come knocking at my boyfriend's door looking like every anti-drug ad I've ever seen combined into one, so it sort of becomes my business—" This time it was Leo who grabbed Jason's hand from behind the door.</p><p>"Look, Octavian, Nico's gone and won't be back for a long time. If you're lucky you'll be clean by the time he gets back and maybe he'll want something to do with you, which I highly doubt considering what you look like right now, man. You need some help. You look like you need to be in a hospital."</p><p>"I've been in hospitals!" Octavian yelled, his voice cracking like too-dry, too-brittle paper. "They just want to monitor me. They lock me up, force feed me, I can't keep food down. I told them if I could just see Nico for a little bit, if I could just, you know, call him. But no one let's me use their phone." His brows knit together angrily, "I don't need a fucking hospital, I need Nico." Leo noticed that Octavian was wearing a ratty hoodie and jeans that were far too baggy, what couldn't have possibly have been anything but a hospital gown peeked out from underneath that stained jacket.</p><p>"He's not here, so you should probably go." Leo said, trying not to feel sorry for the sleeze in front of him.</p><p>Octavian's eyes took on the quality of someone realizing that something they wanted was being taken away, never to be obtained again. His pupils shrank in momentary fear and his hands flew up, as dry and cracked as the rest of his skin though the tips of his fingers looked as if he had been chewing on them, the skin was shiny and newer looking. "Sanchez—"</p><p>"Not even kind of close. Do you think you can just throw around any Spanish name that comes to mind and it'll work, man?"</p><p>"Just listen—"</p><p>"No. Look, I haven't talked to Nico for a while. He's enjoying himself in New York, he's moved on. You really need to too. You need to leave."</p><p>"I can't leave without talking to Nico!" Octavian screamed, a few people looked out of their windows and Leo rolled his eyes. "What do you mean he's moved on? He loves me, he wouldn't move on without me."</p><p>"He's found someone else, that's all I'm going to say. Now leave."</p><p>Octavian fisted a handful of Leo's shirt, his eyes now small and crazed and though he looked as if there was no strength left in his body he was surprisingly strong, and up close he smelled like the worst kinds of human waste and rot, "NO! I won't without him! I know you have him in there! Nico! Baby, I'm sorry! Where are you?" Leo felt himself being ripped away from Octavian's hands, Jason was stepping past him and had his fist raised.</p><p>"Don't!" Leo shouted, Jason's arm hesitated, not swinging downward but shaking as if it wanted to. "Don't hit him. He's already hurting enough, Jason. He's sick, just let him go."</p><p>"I told you I'm not sick—" Esperanza sauntered first past her son, then past Jason, the scent of vanilla and jasmine and car oil mixing into the air as she did. She looked up at Octavian but it was as if she were staring down at him for all of his height she dwarfed him with a glare. He shrank away from her, instantly cowed and apologetic.</p><p>"Listen to me," She said in a very steady voice, though her eyes were as hard as steel. "You have till I count to five to get off of my property. Mrs. O'Haggerty across the street has probably already called the police and when they find you black and blue I'll say it was self defense. My son told you to leave, but you didn't get the hint so now <em>I'm </em>doing it. Leave." For a moment it looked like Octavian was going to say something, hardheaded determinedness flashed across his face, but then Esperanza started counting. She hadn't made it till three before the tall, skunk-headed man was scampering down the street and away from them. She turned around, her eyes still hard and flat. "You're not doing drugs are you?" She asked.</p><p>"No!" Leo nearly shouted, chuckling at the absurdness of it. "Ma! Why would you think I was? He's a crazy guy stalking Nico, not my friend. I don't even really know him."</p><p>Esperanza ignored that, closing the door behind her, "Well don't ever let me catch you smoking or snorting nothing. I'm not raising no crackhead."</p><p>"<em>Mama</em>!" Leo groaned. "I'm not doing crack!"</p><p>His mother gave him an unimpressed look, and instead her gaze switched over to Jason, "You see a crackpipe in his hands you smack it out, understand? You both saw that poor boy, if I was his mama I would've grabbed him up by the ear and—" She went on to describe in a very circumspect way how she would discipline Leo if she ever found out he'd been using drugs, only she used Octavian's situation, substituting what his mother <em>should do</em> to mean what she <em>would do</em>. Jason would have laughed but as soon as he cracked a smile she said, "You think it's funny? I've got two hands and I can grab a whole lot of ears with them." Belatedly Jason wondered if that was why Leo's ears had very small points to them, but he knew he shouldn't ask.</p><p>"Sorry," He apologized, though he was still snickering slightly at the thought of Leo's ear slowly becoming pointed over the years because his mother jerked him up by them whenever he was doing something he wasn't supposed to be.</p><p>Esperanza's face softened after a while and she shook her head moving past them, muttering to herself mostly why people would ever do something so stupid.</p><p>"Well that was weird," Leo said after his mom was gone, feeling like this was much an understatement.</p><p>"That was Nico's old boyfriend?" Jason asked, Leo nodded. "Poor guy must have shitty self-esteem to get with someone like that. What was he, like, in his mid-thirties?"</p><p>"Try twenty-two," Leo corrected, Jason just gaped at that. "I have to call Nico, this is some shit up with which I will not put."</p><p>"Watch your damn language!" His mother shouted from the hall, Leo rolled his eyes but found himself smiling faintly.</p><p>"Sorry, Mama!" He shouted back, giving Jason a small grin, the only kind of smile he could muster; then pulled his phone out of his pocket.</p><hr/><p>Nico couldn't hear his phone ringing because it was gathered amongst an assortment of towels and shirts and shoes. He was currently submerged under the green-blue waters of the river not too far from their cabin. His head broke the surface just in time to see Grover's skinny body flying overhead.</p><p>As promised there was a tire swing (that was still swinging violently from Grover's jump) hanging from a tree that sat on a huge incline above the lake on a hillside. Nico, not nearly as adventurous as many of his other friends gathered outside, had not swung off of it and did not plan on swinging off of it. Regardless of Percy's insistence that he and Paul were ace construction men and that the swing itself couldn't break even if there were gale force winds out.</p><p>"Grover Underwood! You are disgusting!" Reyna shouted and Nico turned around just in time to be slapped in the face by a very wet pair of swim trunks.</p><p>He pulled them from his face, only minutely disgusted, "Sorry, brother!" Grover called from about ten feet away from him in slightly deeper water.</p><p>"What are you doing, you freak?" Annabeth asked, though there was a wry turn to her lips and she didn't seem upset at all, unlike Reyna who must have been too close to Grover when he had disrobed. She was currently swimming away.</p><p>"Skinny dipping, sister-man. You can't not skinny dip when the opportunity presents itself, it's life changing, I swear."</p><p>"It's disgusting!" Reyna shouted. "You're such a fucking weirdo." Grover grinned lopsidedly.</p><p>"Who wants to join me? Carter, man?" Carter's ear grew red and he looked away, "Are you still crushing cause of that kiss, brother?"</p><p>"Will someone please fall in love with Carter, he's getting hopelessly desperate if he's fallen for the stoner." Grover just grinned as he was wont to do, "And I'll happily be keeping my top on, not that I am ashamed of my body, but I don't think I want to rile any of you up," Sadie smirked, casting a glance at Reyna, who, red-faced, looked away.</p><p>Juniper's top came flying off, "I'm keeping the bottoms on," She said, arms covering her breasts. "I'm all for free expression, but I don't know what lives in this river." She was grinning, clearly proud of herself. Grover swam over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.</p><p>"I feel so close to all of you," Nico laughed.</p><p>"You've never been skinny dipping before, brother-man?"</p><p>Percy, who had been enjoying himself in the water, answered for him, "Nico's shy," He said. "He wouldn't even skinny dip when we were kids and it was just the two of us."</p><p>Nico swam out further away from the shallower bank, "Oh, yeah?" He asked, eyebrow raised in challenge and his fingers around the knotted tie of his shorts.</p><p>"You're bluffing." Percy tried to call his bluff.</p><p>Nico ripped his shorts down and threw them at Percy's head. They hit with a wet squelch and in a comical effect Percy fell back into the water the moment they made contact as if Nico had thrown them with the strength of some great god. When Percy came back up he was holding his own shorts in hand, grinning like a madman.</p><p>"This is too much," Reyna made a beeline towards the bank.</p><p>"Rey! Come on! We're just having some fun," Annabeth called after her, a hand on the ties of her own top and a chuckle in her voice. Reyna stopped for a moment as if considering then she shook her head.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Annabeth, but I'm not comfortable enough to just shuck all of my clothing off." Annabeth looked understanding.</p><p>"Well alright," She looked around, "Do you guys mind if me and Rey head back in? I don't want her to be by herself." There were no protests about the two girls heading into the house, Reyna grabbing things from the ground and handing them to Annabeth. "Nico!" Annabeth called, "You have a missed call from somebody named Leo,"</p><p>Nico, who was trying to wrestle his trunks away from Grover, stopped for a moment, "Oh, okay. I'll call him back when we get out of here, thanks." He smiled at her and she smiled back.</p><p>"Carter!" Sadie gasped, appalled.</p><p>"What? Everyone else is doing it," Carter stood slightly more than waist deep in the water, only his torso was visible, but he was holding the red and grey swimming trunks he had jumped into the water with. "I didn't smoke last night, at least this way you can't call me an old man anymore."</p><p>"Really! Have some semblance of decency! 'Everyone else' here aren't my brother," Sadie stalked out of the water. "Care for a third, girls?" She asked when on dry land again.</p><p>"The more the merrier," Annabeth said with a smile, shaking her long, wet hair out of its ponytail. Reyna looked indifferent, though slightly disappointed. The three of them made their way off and Nico almost jumped out of the water to get his trunks back from Grover, laughing all the while.</p><p>Juniper waded out further into deeper water, now only her shoulders were showing. Grover threw Nico his shorts back, which were instantly slung over the shorter young man's shoulders. "You should put your top back on if you're not comfortable, baby." Grover cooed to her.</p><p>"It's not that," Juniper said, she looked towards the bank at the fleeting form of Annabeth, Sadie, and Reyna. "I just realized of the company I'm in you're the only one out here remotely interested in breasts,"</p><p>"Hey, I like girls too, damn it!" Carter exclaimed, still blushing.</p><p>"Okay, Carter likes girls too," She amended. "But, that doesn't mean either of you don't have a fond love for male company, which I endorse because I want you to be free and happy," This was said with a fond smile to her boyfriend.</p><p>"And I thank you for that." Grover smirked. "As you know you are more than welcome to pursue other, more female partners if the mood strikes,"</p><p>"I was just thinking to myself how funny it was that I was the only girl left out here. If I would have gone inside I don't know what you four would have done."</p><p>"There is plenty of fodder for a gay four way, if that's what you mean." Nico said. "But I hardly think I'm that type of girl, Ms. Berry," She laughed.</p><p>"You might not be, but Grover is persistent, and Percy is probably at war with his inner demons to keep his hands off of you, and Carter has a crush on you and my boyfriend and probably Percy too. Which I think is the cutest thing in the world."</p><p>"I—I—" Carter's ears were now cherry red.</p><p>"I'm eighteen, you know?" Grover grinned with a wink.</p><p>"Don't tease him, sweetie," Juniper slowly rose out of the water, Nico couldn't say she was anything short of perfect. Her body was long and slender and smooth, much like her namesake. He did not glance at her breasts, though he had no physical attraction to her and knew that she was unashamed of herself it still felt too personal. Instead he focused on her face whenever she spoke. "He gets enough of that from Nico."</p><p>"I don't tease him." Nico said, Carter shot him a glare that said otherwise. "On purpose. Most of the time." Nico amended. "He makes it so fun, plus he really isn't a bad kisser."</p><p>"Enthusiastic, but not bad." Grover added. "And your lips are soft, dude, like, a girl's soft. It was nice."</p><p>Carter stammered something, then he said, "I don't know if I should be complimented or horrified, to be honest."</p><p>"Brother, you are celebrating nature with us right now, no boundaries, no need to get embarrassed. Plus, I didn't mean, like, you're a girl or anything. You're packing down there, I can see it."</p><p>"Whoa!" Carter covered himself. Juniper laughed.</p><p>"What did I just say about teasing? I'm sorry, Carter, he really isn't this bad normally. Smoking usually keeps his libido at a dull roar, sober he's a monster. Control yourself, Grover." Grover looked comically browbeaten, his eyes downcast and his bottom lip poking out.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry I looked at your junk, Carter, man." He faux pouted, earning a kiss from his girlfriend and an furthering Carter's embarrassment. "But," He continued, "since this orgy ain't gonna happen we can't just stand around here like this, otherwise we're just a bunch of naked people in a river. We should swim and shit," He got out of the water as if his nudity were completely normal, and the more Nico got to know Grover the more he realized it probably was. "We've got to have fun, man!"</p><p>These past two days, outside of the confines of any sort of society, Nico couldn't describe it. He would have never skinny dipped with a group of people he barely knew, not in a million years. He was too ashamed of his scars. But when he had taken his shirt off on the bank no one had batted an eyelash and it felt nice. It felt nice not to feel different or unwanted, and his friends in California gave him that, but these were people on the other side of the country who knew nothing about him that just accepted him for who he was; naked, scarred, and all. It felt special to be so welcome, his nudity didn't feel so much like being nude, because here he didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed.</p><p>Of course, he knew this was a situational practice, and it was okay <em>because</em> they were so far removed from all things related to normal life, he wasn't completely out of his head just yet. Plus, he did <em>like </em>clothing; he wasn't turning into a nudist. He was just comfortable like this for once. All-in-all he found that he was just not as bothered by these people parading around him in all their glory as he thought he might have been. There were no rousings in him, good or bad, sexual or otherwise, only that Grover's ass didn't match the slight tan the rest of his skin color had obtained in their hour and a half outside.</p><p>"Nico!" Grover shouted from the tire swing, "you've got to swing, brother! You're the only one who hasn't and it's phenomenal!" And as if to expand the list of things that didn't bother him Nico found himself rising out of the water. Climbing the side of the hill with shaking hands, all the while thinking '<em>Stop</em>. <em>This is stupid. You're going to die if you jump</em>.' But for some reason he didn't stop himself. And maybe it was because Grover was smiling at him when he got to the top, and maybe it was he could see Annabeth smiling at him too in his mind's eyes, and maybe it was because he didn't have any reason <em>not </em>to jump, but he was up there now and he was standing behind Grover, who took a running jump and swung high into the air before reaching his arc and splashing down noisily into the water again.</p><p>"Whoo!" Percy shouted once Grover broke the surface and floated there beside him. Then those blue-green eyes were turned on him, "Come on, Nicky! Woo!" He shouted, and soon the others were screaming for him to do it, and Nico's heart was racing, and he was as naked as the day he was born but he didn't care. In this camaraderie he wasn't afraid to jump.</p><p>He felt his feet running forward, pounding into the slick brown mud underfoot, felt the material of the thick and scratchy rough rope bite against his thighs, and then felt the earth go out from underneath him and he remembered all at once his fear of heights and of falling and of dying. He was soaring in the air, above all of them as they cheered him on and a laugh bubbled out of his chest regardless of those things; a laugh that made him feel so much better than he could remember feeling in a long time.</p><p>He let go.</p><p>Gravity took over and he was falling now, but he still wasn't afraid, and he had his hand holding his nose, and his body was curled into itself tightly for impact, and then he could feel the water, cold and liquid, breaking all around him before he even actually touched it. Then he was sinking deep into its depths.</p><p>He was still alive. Of course he was still alive. His irrational fear that the swing would snap and break was belayed, and somewhere in his mind something clicked. Fear was, most of the time, irrational. The fear of saying, feeling, or doing something was irrational.</p><p>The fear of living: irrational. And he realized that he had been afraid all of this time, afraid of rejection, afraid of hurt, of disappointment. He realized, with clarity, that sometimes it's okay to be irrational, to not want to conform into what those around you thought you should be feeling, but he wasn't anymore. He was afraid of ruining something that wasn't even truly established yet to begin with and that was irrational.</p><p>And then Percy was standing in front of him, tall, and dark haired, and with eyes that would never settle and Nico was kissing him. Holding him tight and kissing him and not being afraid to do it. Percy tasted like sweat and river water and the Winter Mint Gum he had been chewing earlier and perfection. Nico deepened the kiss till he felt Percy's arms around him, holding him more tightly, and he was being kissed back and Nico knew Percy had no idea about his revelation, just that it was probably the best kiss of either of their lives and it was naked and in front of three of their equally naked friends in a river about a mile away from their parents' vacation home.</p><p>"Percy," Nico said, pulling back. "I think I've been in love with you since I was eight years old. I don't care if you can't say you don't love me too, I don't care if you can never say it, because <em>I </em>need to say it to you."</p><p>Percy's mouth nearly fell open, so Nico planted another kiss on it. "What should I say?" Percy asked.</p><p>"What do you feel?" Nico returned, and there was no ultimatum, he knew that he would still love Percy regardless of his answer, and he knew that he would still love Percy even if he didn't do the right thing, but he knew something else about himself too. He knew that he was strong enough to do what needed to be done if Percy couldn't.</p><p>All it took was being naked on a swing.</p><p>"I've loved you for as long as I can remember," Percy said. "But we haven't seen each other in a while and I want to learn to love you all over again."</p><p>Nico grabbed Percy's hands, they were rough and calloused, "Then I think we should tell Annabeth, tonight. Just you and me and her." Percy looked away nervously for a moment, but Nico squeezed his hands until Percy was looking back at him. "You said I wasn't a onetime thing last night, and I don't know what you and Paul did when you were building that thing but it's a pretty eye opening tire swing, so I want to do this Percy. Please? I want to be with you, the right way."</p><p>Percy held Nico at an arm's length, he examined Nico's face; he looked hard at those earthen brown eyes, so dark they were almost black, they shined with a sort of hope and intensity that Nico always claimed he never felt. Percy sighed and squeezed the boy in his hands, "We'll have to think of a way how to get her alone."</p><p>"I can handle that," Nico replied.</p><p>Percy's eyebrows knit together, "You really want me to do this?"</p><p>"I do." Nico nodded. "I don't want to force you into anything, Percy. I don't want to make you feel rushed, but I can't do this. You know I can't do this. Not anymore. And I can't not do this because I love you, and I want to love you without being a terrible person."</p><p>Percy swallowed visibly, "Okay."</p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Are we for real, brothers?" Grover waded over to them, Juniper walked past him, tying on her bikini top and picking up a towel. "You two going legit?" Nico looked to Percy, who looked back at him, and Nico's gaze was questioning, waiting for Percy to answer.</p><p>"I—" He couldn't break Nico's stare, "yeah. Legit, bro." The smile that broke out across Nico's face made Percy think that telling Annabeth was going to be easier than he'd made it out to be, he knew this was false courage, and that if Nico wasn't right there beside him the entire time he might not be able to do it.</p><p>"Well let's get some smiles going, Percy! Ya'll've only been waiting on this all summer!" Grover slapped them both on the back heartily. Grover hugged Percy.</p><p>"Grover, buddy," Percy replied.</p><p>"Yeah, Perce?"</p><p>"We're still naked."</p><p>"Skinny dipping, man. It's easy to forget."</p><p>"So that's your junk, like, full on push against mine?"</p><p>"It is, brother."</p><p>"Shouldn't you let me go?"</p><p>"No boundaries, brother-man. No boundaries."</p><p>"Actually I'd kind of prefer if you'd let my soon-to-be boyfriend go, Grover. I can't exactly compete with what you've got going on," But Grover threw an arm around Nico too, pulling him into a three-way hug. "So…" Nico began after Grover didn't let go, "we're all touching penises right now, I can't say I'm <em>completely </em>against it, but…"</p><p>"Oh, let them go, sweetheart. Your three-way isn't going to happen today, either; maybe tomorrow." Juniper called from the riverbank. Grover let them go, smiling from ear to ear.</p><p>"Hey, Nico said he wasn't <em>completely </em>opposed to it." Grover informed her.</p><p>"That's progress, baby." Juniper sated.</p><p>"How do you deal with him when he's like this?" Percy asked her.</p><p>"Usually in private," She replied with the first sly grin Nico had ever seen cross her face. "Carter, you've been awfully quiet."</p><p>"I didn't really want to get roped into all the man love that was happening." Carter replied.</p><p>"Carter, brother! That ain't the way to be, come here. Big hug! <em>BIG HUG!</em>" Nico found himself chuckling as Carter was lifted, his bottom exposed above the water, and Grover moved him from side to side.</p><p>"Grover! Grover! This is very inappropriate! Your girlfriend, surely she—"</p><p>"I think it's hot." Juniper shrugged from the bank.</p><p>"You gotta put me down before—"</p><p>"Woah, fella!" Grover exclaimed. "Someone popped a woo—" Carter covered Grover's mouth, and Juniper's laughter could be heard all around. Nico found himself smirking a little, he knew poor Carter would have been targeted by Grover. Carter whispered something in Grover's ear, Grover replied in kind, they spoke for a moment in low voices before Grover said loudly, "Well, I gotta ask Juniper first, but she doesn't usually mind."</p><p>"Carter!" Nico laughed openly now. Carter chose not to answer, he turned, though Grover's arms didn't leave his hips, and he quickly pulled his swim trunks back on.</p><p>"I'm a person, Nico!" Carter finally said, marching out of the river. "I have needs too, goddamn it! I can't resist for too long when someone good looking is pressing themselves against me, it's hard enough being the level-headed older brother all the time. I just want some senseless fun for a little while."</p><p>"That I can provide." Grover grinned.</p><p>Nico walked over to the bank that Juniper was standing on, covering himself until he had his swim trunks in hand, that magic of released inhibitions had slowly worn away and he was beginning to think it might have all been adrenaline. He threw Percy his trunks, which Percy pulled on in the water before he climbed out as well.</p><p>"There's a lot of love going on on this trip," Nico smirked at Carter.</p><p>"Isn't it wonderful?" Juniper asked with a smile. They pulled on the rest of their clothes before they began heading back towards the cabin.</p><p>"I think we've all just partaken in what people call a 'polyamorous relationship', actually." Nico replied.</p><p>"Does that make us Mormons now?" Carter wondered, smiling for the first time since they'd been up. It looked good on him.</p><p>"Or hillpeople? Because I swear to God I don't want to eat people or have incestuous relationships," Percy interjected.</p><p>"Give it time, fellow Mormon-hillman, soon we'll be eating people <em>and </em>banging relatives, but not before we go door to door to talk about a magic book." They laughed and Nico grabbed Percy's hand, and Percy wove his fingers with Nico's.</p><hr/><p>"Leo?" Nico asked later that evening when he was showered and dressed, he was sitting on his bed with the door to the room closed. "You called?"</p><p>"<em>Yeah, you'll never guess who showed up at my door looking for you. I'll give you a hint: it was Octavian.</em>" Leo answered back. It took a moment to process that, but thankfully Nico didn't have to say anything, "<em>He kept going on about how he needs you here so he can to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no. He's crazy, Nico.</em>"</p><p>"Are you alright?" Nico asked, his voice catching slightly. "Leo, I'm so fucking sorry. I know how he can be and—"</p><p>"<em>No</em>, <em>Neeks</em>, <em>I'm good. My knight in blond shaggy hair was here and almost beat the shit out of him, he didn't cause I told him not to. That's a scary power to have. I think I could get him to beat up anyone I want.</em>"</p><p>"Leo…"</p><p>"Right, off-topic. Sorry, you know how it is when we don't talk for a while,"</p><p>And even though he didn't feel like it Nico chuckled because Leo had that effect on him, "Yeah, I'm sorry. I've been dealing with my own knight. But how is Camelot, fair Maid Marion?"</p><p>"<em>Pretty fucking great</em>, <em>I don't want to say he treats me like a princess or any shit like that</em>, <em>but, no he does. I'm like Rapunzel in this bitch and he's my Flynn Rider and nothing hurts.</em>" Leo spoke with the same fast pace that Nico remembered, and maybe there was a reason he didn't check in with his friends often because even with the talk of Octavian looming over this tangent they were about to go on he felt a great pang in his chest to see Leo, not just hear his voice.</p><p>"Careful, Leels, your gay is showing." Nico replied.</p><p>"<em>You just wish you could hide your gay</em>,<em> we can't all be as butch as me</em>,"</p><p>"You're a fucking twink, shut up." Nico laughed.</p><p>"<em>I'm rubber, you're glue, blah, blah, blah your ass is twinky too."</em></p><p>"I want to meet Jason,"</p><p>"<em>I want to meet Percy</em>, <em>maybe suck his dick a little</em><em>because you've been gaga over him like you're gonna find the meaning of life or some shit in there</em>." Leo answered, Nico rolled his eyes.</p><p>"I was being serious, you asshole. I miss you for some ungodly, unfathomable reason and I want to meet the poor boy who has to deal with you while I'm gone."</p><p>There was a pause on the line before Leo's voice turned serious, "<em>I really fucking miss you too</em>,<em> Nico</em>." He said quietly. "<em>Are you sane yet so we can see you at least for a little bit this summer</em>?"</p><p>"I don't even fucking know, Leels," Nico said. "My doctor isn't really saying much on where my sanity lies and I keep fucking up and making her mad at me so she keeps giving me sessions. I don't know. I don't feel crazy."</p><p>"<em>Are you still cutting</em>?"</p><p>Absently Nico's fingers wrapped around his wrists, "I haven't cut for a long time."</p><p>"<em>Do you still want to</em>?"</p><p>"Sometimes, yeah." Nico answered truthfully. "But I think it's because it feels like a quick release when everything inside of me gets too cluttered, and I think everyone feels like that sometimes. I'm trying hard to be good, Leo."</p><p>"<em>You're doing it for yourself</em>, <em>aren't you</em>, <em>Neeks</em>? <em>Because I know how you get about guys</em>, <em>and how everything becomes about them</em>, <em>and you aren't going to get any better if you're doing this for anyone else</em>."</p><p>Nico could have been a smart-ass and said that Leo didn't know what he was talking about, or who was Leo, his therapist? But, he didn't really feel like joking right then, "I'm doing it for me. Or I'm trying to. It's hard to separate who I am and who I was when I'm up here. I told Percy I loved him today."</p><p>"<em>Not sure if dumbass, or dumbass…</em>"</p><p>"I meant it, Leo."</p><p>Leo sighed, "<em>I know you did</em>, <em>Nico</em>."</p><p>"Does that make me an idiot?"</p><p>"<em>Probably</em>, <em>you're making it harder on yourselves for saying shit like that to each other</em>, <em>but who am I to talk</em>? <em>I've been dating Jason for a month and a half and I may or may not have our kids</em>' <em>names picked out</em>, <em>so</em>…<em>really in examples of people you should strive to be like I am not one of them</em>."</p><p>"You know what I'm starting to realize?" Nico asked, but Leo assumed the question was rhetorical because he didn't answer, "I don't think anyone has this shit figured out, Leo. I think everyone, even our parents, are just kind of flying blind out there and we're just trying to go towards the warmth, but we don't want to get too close to the sun."</p><p>Leo made a sound of agreement, "<em>An Icarus analogy</em>, <em>you have been gone too long if you're getting philosophical on me</em>." Nico smiled again at that. "<em>You could be right</em>, <em>but you know my mom</em>. <em>She'll fly straight into the sun open its chassis</em>, <em>tune that shit up</em>, <em>and make it burn even brighter</em>." Nico chuckled, thinking of Esperanza. "<em>And your dad seems more like the fly-by-moon kind of guy</em>, <em>like a vampire</em>. <em>You're dad is Edward Cullen</em>, <em>Nico</em>. <em>I don't know if he sparkles</em>, <em>though</em>, <em>I don't think I've ever seen him in the sunlight</em>."</p><p>"You're fucking up my perfectly good analogy, you cunt."</p><p>"<em>I so miss your vulgarity</em>," Leo answered, chuckling. "<em>I think you're probably right though</em>, <em>like I said. And I don't know if I'm flying blind</em>, <em>or if I've been flying for so long I don't even realize it anymore</em>, <em>but Jason makes me feel better</em>. <em>It's nice not to fly alone, so I can see why you're so crazy for Percy</em>." And that's why Nico liked Leo, because he knew that Leo knew what he was talking about. He might not handle his problems the way Nico handled them but he could at least usually see Nico's side of things.</p><p>"Speaking of crazy," He said, knowing they had to talk about the inevitable, "Octavian's going to rehab, huh?"</p><p>"<em>Oh</em>, <em>God.</em>" Leo said, "<em>You know how to pick them</em>, <em>Nico. He literally comes knocking on my door like the fucking police and then demands to see you like you're just chilling inside. He said his parents were going to cut him off if he didn't stop using and get his shit together</em>."</p><p>"He'll probably go, then. He doesn't know how to do anything but use his parent's money."</p><p>"<em>Said the pot about the kettle</em>," Nico could hear the smirk in Leo's voice.</p><p>"Your mom owns a chain of garages all over California, you shut your little rich boy mouth up."</p><p>"<em>But she doesn't give me money</em>!" Leo complained. Nico waited. "<em>Okay, she doesn't give me </em>a lot <em>of money</em>! <em>And we're not rich, we just do okay.</em>" He paused here, as if thinking and Nico waited, "<em>Oh, she almost fucked up Octavian today, too</em>. <em>It was the funniest shit I've ever seen</em>. <em>He tried to grab me up by my shirt</em>, <em>that's when I had to stop Jason from hitting him</em>, <em>but then O just keeps going on like Jason isn't taller and bigger than him and mom just waltz right the fuck up there and gives him the evil-eye</em>,<em> you know the one</em>?"</p><p>"All too well," Nico answered.</p><p>"<em>High</em>,<em> drunk</em>,<em> whatever the hell he was he sobered right up and made out of here like a dog with its tail between its legs.</em>"</p><p>"I just hope he gets his shit together without me,"</p><p>Leo made the sound of a buzzer going off, "<em>ANNT! Sorry, wrong answer, we were looking for: Something Not Self-Deprecating About Your Ex-Boyfriend's Condition. Better luck next time, contestant.</em>" Nico still didn't say anything, but really he was just enjoying listening to Leo talk, "<em>You know it's not your fault he was on all that shit</em>,<em> right</em>?<em> If anything someone should beat his ass for almost getting you addicted like a million times.</em>"</p><p>"I refuse to acknowledge anything about my past drug use," Nico said.</p><p>"<em>If I were you I fucking would too</em>, <em>you lucked out big time. He looked like hell warmed over</em>, <em>I think I could see his ribs through his hoodie and his shirt. Imagine a skeleton wearing clothes, give it shitty hair, and you've basically got what he looks like now. Some of his teeth had fallen out and he couldn't stop shaking, it was fucking sad Nico.</em>" Still Nico couldn't help the pang of guilt that flared in his chest. "<em>Don't you feel sorry for him, either</em>, <em>I know you Nico</em>."</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "I wasn't feeling sorry for him."</p><p>"<em>You so were</em>."</p><p>Nico and Leo talked for another hour before Leo let him go, apparently he was going to play Frisbee with Jason and his friends. "You? Outdoors? I'd pay to see that," Nico grinned.</p><p>"<em>Asshole</em>, <em>I'll have you know I'm quite athletic</em>."</p><p>"Fucking Jason doesn't count as a sport," Nico chided.</p><p>"<em>It should</em>." Leo laughed. "<em>I'd get the gold medal every time.</em>"</p><p>"On that note I think I'll let you go, I'm gonna call Rachel and Frankie since you've got me thinking about everybody today."</p><p>"<em>You better</em>," Leo said with a hint of wariness in his voice. "<em>Rachel will have your head on a pike if you don't start checking in more</em>. <em>You know her daddy will fly her out there</em>."</p><p>Nico chuckled, "Are we a bunch of spoiled rich kids?"</p><p>"<em>Well</em>, <em>I'm not spoiled; I'm fresh-to-death</em>."</p><p>"Oh, God. Good-bye, Leo."</p><p>"<em>Bye</em>, <em>Neeks</em>. <em>I'll try not to make it a million years before I hear from you again</em>."</p><p>"Yeah, same here. Bye, buddy."</p><p>Nico hit end on his phone before dialing Rachel's number. Between her and Frank he spent another half hour on the phone, but by then someone was knocking at his door and he realized he had completely forgotten he was on a trip with other friends. He told Frank and Rachel good-bye, Rachel did indeed threaten to fly out and Nico wasn't exactly sure how much of a threat it was so much as a promise, and he told Frank that he loved him and hoped to see him soon. Then he ended that call as well and went to his door.</p><p>Annabeth was on the other side of it, just Annabeth. Nico swallowed, but her gray eyes were cool, and calm, and friendly as always, "Hi," She said with a small turn of the lips upward.</p><p>"Hi…" Nico replied, he looked behind her but the living room and kitchen were empty.</p><p>"Mind if I come in?" She wondered and Nico didn't know what to say but to step aside and let her in. "Close the door?" Nico's heart hammered in his chest and he found himself closed off from the world in a room with the girl whose boyfriend he had been running around with. Nico watched as she looked around his room, she smiled minutely at the little Pikachu from a bygone era that was sitting on his dresser. "I've been talking to Reyna," She said suddenly, scanning the other objects that were decorating the room that Nico hadn't really visited or updated in years.</p><p>Swallowing he said, "Really?"</p><p>"She says she wishes she could hate you for seeing through her," Annabeth turned, and it struck Nico how heavy and analytical her gray eyes were. He stared back and before she opened her mouth again he knew why she was here, he knew that no matter how much sneaking a person did they probably couldn't pull anything over those thunderstorm eyes, "She told me, told me that she was gay, that is. Told me something else too," Here Annabeth paused just long enough to make Nico uncomfortable, "I find myself surrounded by gay people, as it turns out. She came out to me, and then told me that she's been secretly harboring a crush on me for about two years, and I can't say I was completely surprised."</p><p>"I don't think a lot surprises you, really." Nico prodded.</p><p>"You would be…surprised at what surprises me, actually." She chuckled a bit, but there was no real mirth to her laughter. "I told her that I loved her like a friend, but that I'm not gay. I think women are beautiful, but I don't find myself attracted to them sexually. I won't lie, I've considered it; I do like looking at all the possibilities of things before I dismiss them. But, I can say definitively that I'm not gay." Her posture was calm, and her voice was calm and Nico didn't know why he was sweating. "You are right though, it can be hard to surprise me. I spend a lot of time researching through a lot of other people's work so one day I can be a scientist, or someone of credit and renown, and it can leave me a bit dumb to what's going on around me. Or, I should say it can leave me to trick myself into pretending like I don't see what's going on around me."</p><p>"I think Percy should be here for this." Nico said after a time.</p><p>"I'll talk to him, separately." Annabeth answered. "See, I think you guys were so worried about how you were going to break to me that you were sneaking around behind my back that you forgot I have eyes, myself." She paused again, "I saw you at the river earlier, I was coming back and I guess I was still far enough in the woods that you guys couldn't see me but I could see you. To my surprise I find you wrapped in Percy's arms like you belong there, with his tongue down your throat, and I think to myself, 'Huh. I guess I should have known." She sighed, "I'm not mad." Then she seemed to be thinking about that. "No. I'm not mad. Disappointed, maybe. I'm disappointed because you're my friend and he's my boyfriend and I think if you both would have said something to me before jumping into whatever it is you're doing I probably wouldn't have gotten as hurt as I feel, but a part of me has always known that Percy was gay too. I hid it away, that part of me. I saw things; saw how he shrunk away from kisses sometimes, how he was always so dissociative when we were doing anything that wasn't cuddling.</p><p>"I suppose I should say that this is partially my fault. I let it happen, I stayed away for most of the summer and he couldn't really talk to me about it. We both know how much trouble he has with words." The look she gave him was one you would give a confidant and Nico didn't know why his eyes were watering, but they were and he couldn't stop them. "I wish I could be like Juniper and just share my boyfriend with whoever wanted him, taking solace in the fact that he would always be mine and that he would always come back. But I don't think Percy was ever really mine. I had him for a little while, but even while I had him I never really had him."</p><p>"Annabeth—"</p><p>"No, Nico. I just kinda want to talk to you right now, I think I deserve that much." Annabeth leaned against the wall, and how she could convey so much in silence and yet be so superbly benevolent at the same time? "I wish I could be mad." She said after a moment of heavy, knuckle whitening silence. "I wish I could scream at you for stealing him, and I wish I could hate you, you know? But I don't hate you, I actually really like you. I think you're a wonderful person and I'm glad to know you. What I hate is the way this happened, and that I can't be mad, and that I still want to be friends with you." Nico was the one crying, and this wasn't happening the way he wanted it to at all. But, he thought, maybe it was because he couldn't control every situation and it was better that Annabeth had control for once in this whole mess of a thing he had created. "I love him, did you know that? Despite the fact that I knew he was gay, despite the fact that you two have been doing whatever behind my back, I love him. I always will." Nico watched her more, as she came closer. She put a hand on his cheek and she wiped the tears that were streaming down his face away, then she reared her hand back and slapped him hard across the face. It was a jaw rattling sort of slap, and Nico had to blink more tears out of his eyes with a few stars peppered in. He could only just stare, a hand raising to hold his throbbing, hand printed cheek.</p><p>"I don't know if I can see you guys together, just yet, you and him. I'll need a little bit of time."</p><p>"I—yeah, I mean, of course. I—I'm fucking sorry it's like this Annabeth."</p><p>She put her hand on his cheek again and to his credit Nico didn't flinch away, expecting another slap. She just held his face this time, "Yeah. Me too." She smirked and stepped back. "Oh, I'm taking this room for the rest of the trip up here; you can go room with Percy. I kind of need the privacy for a few days. You understand?" Nico didn't know what to do, he just stared at her. "…you should start gathering your stuff up and go put it in Percy's room. I'm not rushing you or anything but I don't really like crying in front of people, so…"</p><p>"Oh!" Nico almost tripped over himself. "Fuck. Shit. I'm—shit, okay, yeah." He started piling his clothes into suitcases as quickly as he could, thankful that he was wont to leave all of his things in one spot. Zipping them he started heading towards the door before pausing. He turned around, "Percy never, ever wanted to hurt you, Annabeth. He loves you too, you are so special to him. And I think you're probably the best person I've ever met, like, ever."</p><p>That gray was surrounded by a cloud of red, and Annabeth looked like she was trying hard to keep her composure. "<em>Thank you</em>," She whispered before Nico dropped his bags and ran forward to hug her. She was stiff in his arms, but he didn't let go.</p><p>"I'm so fucking sorry, still. We never…went all the way, if that makes you feel any better. I couldn't, not knowing that you and him were still together." Annabeth laughed in his ear, but it was a crying chuckle that broke Nico's heart.</p><p>"It doesn't," She said finally putting her arms around him, arms like a vice around him. "The situation sucks, because it's no one's fault it turned out like this, and everything just kind of feels off right now."</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry."</p><p>They hugged for a few more moments, before Annabeth held him at an arm's length. "You have got to get out of here. I <em>really </em>don't like crying in front of people." She laughed, wiping at her eyes. Nico nodded and he hugged her one more time and he turned and grabbed his bags and left her behind in his room.</p><p>Moving to the steps Nico found his arms and legs weak. He didn't know where everyone had gotten to, but he was glad for the moment of solitude. And he couldn't help but think the ache in his chest wouldn't hurt so badly if Annabeth would have screamed and hit him a few more times, but it was the price to pay for what he did, the hurt of knowing he hurt someone else. One foot after the other he made his way upstairs and found Percy's room and put his bags down on the floor.</p><p>Nico would have taken a moment for himself to assess, but he heard quiet crying up here too. He wondered if it was Reyna. Turning again he headed to her room, and he didn't think about it, that she had been the one to out Percy before she said she would, because he felt like she was his friend too.</p><p>Knocking on her door he waited and she opened it, "I thought I'd see you sooner or later," She said, dark eyes surrounded by a rim of red. "I take it Annabeth spoke to you?"</p><p>"She did," Nico answered.</p><p>"Are you going to yell at me for what I did?"</p><p>"I'm not. Percy might." Nico put his arms around her. "If you want to talk about it I'm here."</p><p>"Wha—" If Annabeth had been stiff as a board in the hug Reyna was a straight-backed ramrod. "Nico, I'm not really the hugging type."</p><p>"I'm not either," Nico said, hugging her more tightly. "But when I first came out everything in my life kind of fell apart, so I want you to know that it won't fall apart for you, which mean you should just let it happen." Reyna didn't answer, but she patted his back twice, which was probably all he was going to get out of her.</p><p>"Thank you?" She volunteered, unsure how to handle the situation.</p><p>"Yeah, us gays gotta stick together." Nico gave her a smirk, "I'm gonna go sulk for a little bit cause I kind of feel like shit. You good?"</p><p>"Er, yeah. No more hugs please, I'm good."</p><p>"Okay." Nico turned and started heading back to what was now his room.</p><p>"Nico." He turned, "I—yeah, if you want to talk I'm here too, right?"</p><p>The barest hint of an actual smile played at his lips, "Yeah, thanks."</p><p>Nico went back to his room with a mind full of everything all at once and not what clue to do with any of it. It had been an eventful day, if nothing else.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Percy came in from the campfire he was thankful of two things: one, that he wasn't drunk, and two, that he hadn't gotten high. Nico had spent a great deal of time inside talking on the phone with his friends so he, Grover, Juniper, Carter, and Sadie had sat around the fire circle again.</p><p>"Wow. You're nude bonding time has really changed you, Carter." Sadie commented as Carter let Grover shotgun him. "I never thought in a million years that I would see you having any sort of fun with something that wasn't books or basketball."</p><p>"Well I'm having fun now," Carter answered with a small smile, looking at Grover.</p><p>Sadie looked between her brother and Grover, there was a shared acknowledgement there that she wasn't sure she liked, "Oh, dear God. Stoner, what on Earth did you do to my brother?"</p><p>"Nothing yet," Grover replied mysteriously. "It's all good, sister-man."</p><p>"It is not "all good" like you say, Carter is supposed to be…a stick in the mud! He doesn't—doesn't kiss people in public! Carter what are you doing? Your sister is sitting ten feet away from you!"</p><p>Percy just laughed at them, he leaned over to Juniper, "Have you seen Annabeth or anyone?"</p><p>"I guess she's still with Reyna," Juniper shrugged, tying her hair into a ponytail. "Are you really going to tell her about you and Nico?"</p><p>Percy looked at his best friend's girlfriend, and he thought he counted her a friend as well, before he said, "I have to, Juniper. Nico's right, I can't keep sneaking around behind her back to fool around with him. I love her, but I'm not in love with her. It took Nico, the first boy and only boy I ever kissed, coming all this way for me to realize that. It's not right, and no one will be happy unless I do." Juniper grabbed his hand and he looked up at her, she was smiling.</p><p>"I was worried about you," She admitted and Percy made a face as if to ask 'why', "I was worried because it can take a lot out of a person to love someone and watch them play with other people, especially if you're not open to the idea. I imagine it's even harder on someone who loves two people and can't decide on one. You could have handled the situation better by telling her at the beginning, but you could have handled it <em>a lot </em>worse. So I'm proud of you, Percy Jackson. There's a lot more to you than 'that-boy-my-boyfriend-kind-of-wants-to-fool-aroun d-with'."</p><p>Percy squeezed her hand back, "That was almost sweet, till the end. Thank you." He looked over to Grover, who had Carter in his lap now, and since they were both about the same height it was a little comic. "Are you really okay with that?" He asked quietly nodding his head in their direction. "With him always chasing other guys?"</p><p>Juniper gave him a long look that he wasn't sure how to interpret before she said, "Sometimes it can be hard. I'm always afraid he's more into men than he is into women, but he tells me he doesn't flirt with women because he's got me, and he loves me. I'm open to the idea of an open relationship in that the third party doesn't mean anything to him. It doesn't <em>bother </em>me, but sometimes it does make me think." She smiled wistfully, "People don't understand, most of the time. They think just because I'm quiet, and because I don't make a big deal out of it I'm subservient to the idea. But really, and if we're speaking frankly, it kind of turns me on to watch him with guys. It's always safe, always protected, and he and I always talk about it at least a bit before he even flounders off and tries to flirt with boys. I wouldn't really call what he does flirting though." She laughed a little before her eyes settled on Grover and Percy looked over at his best friend again as well, he looked back and smiled at Juniper. It was a smile Percy had not ever seen him flash at any other individual and it made Percy's face warm a bit. "I love him," Juniper finally said. "He has a lot of desires, and I'm not the kind of person who would force him into just wanting me. I feel like if that ever comes around it'll be when we get married, but till then I don't want him to ever regret just being with me. I was his first, you know? First kiss, first girlfriend, first time. He talks a big game, but before I led him to his sort of sexual awakening he was terrified of his own thoughts and urges. I guess that's another reason why I don't mind, I kind of opened a floodgate." Looking at her hand that was holding a solo cup halfway filled with rum and coke she said, "I think I've had a bit too much to drink, I don't usually ramble."</p><p>Percy smiled at that, finishing off his third beer, "I enjoyed it. You're right, you are usually pretty quiet, and sometimes I don't understand how your relationship works, but damn it it works and it's one of the best ones I've ever seen."</p><p>"Thank you," Juniper smiled back at him. Percy could still hear Sadie talking, he wondered if she ever stopped, and he could hear Grover and Carter answering her, but he wasn't really listening to their conversation. "You're thinking about Nico and Annabeth, aren't you?"</p><p>"That obvious?" He asked. She nodded, "I wish we could have what you guys have. But I can't keep this up with her. I'm gay, and pretending any further is starting to hurt."</p><p>Juniper rubbed his arm soothingly and Percy was starting to wonder why he didn't talk to her more, her eyes held such an easy compassion and she looked as if she leaned on your every word, "You should go talk to her."</p><p>"I know." Percy said. "I will. But Nico said he would do it with me."</p><p>"Then you should go get him, he's had plenty of time to catch up with his friends. They'll understand if you cut their time with him short." She smiled genuinely.</p><p>"You're awesome." Percy told her, standing. "I'm going to go get him." He moved to walk away, "And you just let me know if I ever need to kick Grover's ass. He's my best bro, but I won't let that stop the ass kicking."</p><p>Juniper laughed, the sound was like the tinkling of bells, somehow it reminded Percy of springtime. "He's the model boyfriend, but I'll let you know." They grinned at each other before Percy put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, then he was moving towards the cabin.</p><p>"What was that about?" Grover said.</p><p>"Just getting to know Percy a little better," Juniper replied moving to sit next to Sadie.</p><p>The English girl turned to stare at Juniper, "Surely you're not going to let your boyfriend snog my brother, right?"</p><p>"If you're brother weren't so cute and smart my boyfriend probably wouldn't want to snog him, so shame on you guys for having good genes." Juniper replied with a wide, charming smile. Sadie blushed at that and for once was quiet.</p><hr/><p>"Nico, we should go talk to—"</p><p>"To me?"</p><p>"Annabeth!" Percy squeaked. She was sitting on Nico's bed when Percy entered his room. Her hair was down from its usual ponytail, wet as if she had just stepped out of the shower. She was wearing her favorite tank-top and pajama pants combo. Percy closed his mouth as surprise, and strangely fear, began creeping their way up his throat, entangling around his heart as they shot upward and out of his mouth in another squeak, this one inaudible.</p><p>Annabeth stood from the bed, "You were expecting your boyfriend, I'm guessing?" She asked, her face was unreadable but her eyes, eyes that were normally so stormy and alive, were annoyed and flat, the color of slate instead of their usual lovely thunderstorm gray. "But it's just me, your girlfriend." Percy opened his mouth, but he closed it again when he saw no words would come to him. "You're not even going to deny it, are you? That you're dating Nico."</p><p>"Annabeth—I-I don't know what to say." His brain was mush under her hard, accusatory gaze, "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Sorry? You're <em>sorry</em>? I don't know why I wasn't mad at Nico, he and I have only really started to get to know each other. But you, Percy, you are cheating on me. With him. What really makes me mad is that you didn't have the heart to tell me." She launched into the heart of the issue, not skirting around bullshit but plowing straight through it in what could only be called Annabethian fashion. Percy cringed back from her truth, eyes hitting the ground, "Did you want to have us both? Are you really that selfish?" Percy didn't volunteer to answer. "Goddamn it, Percy!" Annabeth came rushing forward like an Amazonian warrior, she pushed him hard, forcing him a few steps back. "This is your time to explain yourself! Fucking say something! Nico cried and he begged forgiveness and he knew he was in the wrong, but I don't know with you. You've shut me out these last two months, apparently. And you don't have <em>anything</em>, anything at all to say?"</p><p>Percy's eyes were prickling, but he knew he had no room to cry here, "Annabeth I'm sorry—"</p><p>"Anything but that! I know you're sorry, sorry you got caught more than anything."</p><p>"No! It's not like that—" Percy grabbed her by the arm, only to be rewarded by a fist to his jaw. He staggered backwards, face throbbing.</p><p>"Don't you dare touch me!" She hissed as if his hand had burned, tears were gathered in her eyes as well and her lip trembled. "Don't lie to me either, Percy. Not anymore. Just stop lying." Percy blinked an unbelieving stare at her. "Tell me the truth, or get out."</p><p>Percy only continued to stare at her with a hand raised to his face where she'd struck him, it hurt but not as much as seeing that first tear travel its way slowly down her cheek. He wanted to do what he had always done, scoop her up in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. Because he loved her he wanted to comfort her, but what he said to Juniper only a few minutes ago rang so true in his head that it was as if a light had finally gone off. "I'm gay." He said, and she stood to her full height, looking unfazed. It was Annabeth who didn't speak this time, waiting on him to continue. "I've been confused for a very long time. Confused because I always thought I knew what everyone else wanted from me, when I'm only just realizing that it's not fair to me, you, or anyone else if I keep pretending to be something I'm not.</p><p>"I'm so sorry that I hurt you, Annabeth. I love you, I will always love you, but I can't be in love with you and after everything we've been through together that makes this even harder. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to lose you, to lose what we have, because this," He motioned between himself and her, "this is so important to me. I fucked up so hugely this time, and you don't have to forgive me, you don't even have to think about it, but just know that I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you today, that's what I was coming to get Nico for. We wanted to tell you, <em>I </em>wanted to tell you. I've been wanting to tell you for so fucking long now—even before Nico got here—and it scared me to think what your reaction could be. I'm still terrified of what everyone is going to say or do. All I can say now is that I'm sorry, really, truly sorry Annabeth, because you deserve the fucking moon and the stars and the sun, not any me and my bullshit."</p><p>"Are you two in love?" Percy looked hard at her, and her eyes were still dark, but they weren't flat anymore with annoyance or disappointment, and they weren't livid with rage or anger, they were trepid, guarded, cautious.</p><p>"Yes." Percy nearly whispered. "Yes, I think so."</p><p>She shrugged, "Then what can I do?" Her shoulders sagging, "What's done is done. I relieve you of your status as my boyfriend, Perseus Jackson. I'm breaking up with you. We had a good run, but it's just not working out for me. I can't keep you if you go around falling in love with other people." Very tentatively Percy touched her shoulder, when no retaliation came he hugged her body to his. It was sickeningly familiar the way they fit together, but it wasn't perfect like it had been before. Like a groove with a chink in it, it just didn't work as it had before. That didn't stop Percy from hugging her as tightly as he could.</p><p>"Please, please don't walk out of my life." He whispered in her hair, tears still prickling his eyes and painting the tone of his voice.</p><p>Annabeth laughed in his arms, a laugh that sounded closer to a sob, "You are singlehandedly the most selfish person I know, Percy." Stepping out of the embrace she touched his chest lightly, "I'm going to need a lot of time. I saw you kissing someone else, who knows what else you two have been up to, and I can't just forgive and forget something like that. But when I'm ready I'll try to come back into your life." Percy's sea-green eyes weren't sea-green at the moment, they were solid cerulean blue as he looked down at her face. He brushed the tears off of her cheek, and it all felt like a terrible pantomime of how they used to be; how they were only a week ago. He kissed her forehead.</p><p>"I'll leave you be, then." He said. "Do you want me to send Reyna or someone down here?"</p><p>"No." Annabeth shook her head. "Reyna's dealing with her own stuff right now, and everyone else is having such a good time. Just go." Percy nodded, not sure what else he could do. He opened the door and closed it behind him.</p><p>Mixed feelings hit him all at once, sadness and pain that he had ended something that had been working so well, but elation that he wasn't lying to anyone anymore.</p><p>He could be who he was, whoever that was.</p><p>"Is she okay?" He looked up; the others had come back in from the campfire.</p><p>"She said she didn't want to spoil anyone else's good time," Percy said and Juniper pursed her lips. She moved past him, "I wouldn't—"</p><p>"I'm going to anyway," She shot him a look that dared him to stop her. Percy moved aside so she could get to the door.</p><p>Sadie sighed moving past Percy as well and disappearing into the room behind Juniper, though not before loudly asking, "What am I even doing? I don't even know this girl!" The door closed behind her, and when the girls weren't immediately kicked out Percy let out a sigh of relief. Annabeth, as strong as she was, could use a shoulder and his was one she understandably didn't want to weep on right now.</p><p>Grover's hand grasped Percy's shoulder, "You did the right thing." He said, surprisingly serious.</p><p>"I know, it just doesn't exactly feel great." Percy replied. Grover hugged him, and it only occurred once Grover's arms were around him how much he needed it. He hugged Grover back hard and the tears hit him before he knew what was happening.</p><p>"Let it out, man." Grover said encouragingly, rubbing soothing circles into his back. Percy sobbed for a good minute into his shoulder, mourning the loss of something so significant to him. He wasn't heterosexual or even bisexual, but his feelings for Annabeth weren't based on attraction or desire. He needed her in a different way, and it became apparent that she was one of his very best friends and that was why it hurt so much.</p><p>Grover may have been bony but he was strong as he held Percy for another few moments, before Percy stepped back and Grover gave him an infectious sort of smirk. He mock hit Percy's jaw before patting him on the cheek. "I love you, brother. Never forget that. Not in the I'm-in-love-with-you kind of way, but in the you're-my-best-friend, Percy, and-no-matter-what-I'm-always going-to-be-here-for-you kind of way."</p><p>"I love you too, man." Percy put his forehead against Grover's. "Thank you."</p><p>"It's what bro's do," Grover grinned. They hugged for a long moment more before stepping back from each other. "You think you should go check on Nico? He's probably up in your room all by his lonesome."</p><p>Percy nodded and for the first time he looked up and noticed Carter standing there awkwardly. A small smile tugged at his lips and he hugged Carter too, because why not make him feel like part of the group? "Thanks for sticking by through all the drama."</p><p>Carter, who was at first a bit stiff, hugged Percy back for a moment. Not in the same capacity that Grover had hugged him, but it wasn't unfriendly either. "I'm sorry there had to be drama to begin with." He said sincerely. Percy chuckled a little to himself, patting Carter on the arm.</p><p>"I'm going to go check on Nico." He said and no one had anything else to say to that, so he took the steps two at a time.</p><p>"And then there were two," Grover said, turning to Carter, who was just an inch or so taller than him. "What can two guys who have no prior obligations, a shit ton of booze and weed, and a free bedroom get up to in the midst of all this craziness?" As he spoke he inched closer to Carter, who didn't bolt away.</p><p>"I'm sure you can think of something," Carter said, his voice low and purring and confident for the first time since Grover had met him.</p><p>"Not shy anymore, I take it?" Grover grinned, grabbing Carter by two of his belt loops and pulling him forward, pelvis to pelvis.</p><p>"It's just you and me right now, I'm not a fan of audiences," Carter grinned leaning down and leaving a slow, sweet kiss on Grover's lips.</p><p>"You shouldn't have done that," Grover replied in a voice that sent an electric jolt down to Carter's groin. "Upstairs, my room, now." Carter normally didn't take orders, or not from people who he wasn't related to or working for, but he made an exception this time around and marched up the stairs, Grover grabbing at his ass the entire time.</p><hr/><p>"Nico?" Percy called. His room was dark except for the telltale blue-white glow of a cell phone.</p><p>"Don't turn the light on." Which worried Percy immediately; he remembered Nico's scars and his tendency to self-abuse when he felt cornered or overemotional. If today didn't count as an overly emotional day he didn't know what did. Rushing forward to the bed he was beside the younger boy in an instant.</p><p>"What's wrong? Are you okay?"</p><p>"Calm down, I just didn't want you to cut the light on, I've been sitting in the dark for almost an hour, it would've hurt my eyes." Nico assured, and as Percy's eyes adjusted to the darkness he located Nico's face in that electronic light of his phone. Nico's eyes were on him, shining and dark like stars in deep space. "I'm okay. I didn't do anything, no cutting, I didn't even bring pills with me, I'm okay, Percy."</p><p>Percy kissed Nico hard on the lips, his heart slowing down. "Alright." He said kissing him again.</p><p>"I'm guessing you talked to Annabeth?" Nico asked, pulling back after a moment.</p><p>"Yeah," Percy laid his head on Nico's chest and immediately there were fingers running through his hair. He almost purred. "It was hard, and there was a lot of crying, but only after the fact. I left her downstairs with Juniper and Sadie."</p><p>"Well I don't know how much help Sadie's going to be, but Juniper could charm the dead back to life, so I think she's in good hands." Nico said, still absently stroking fingers through Percy's hair. They were quiet for a while before Nico said, "Your birthday is in a week."</p><p>"And yours in, like, four." Percy returned, "And Annabeth's is in like two, yeah." And then they were quiet again, a peaceable silence. Percy content to let Nico's nails gently scratch at his scalp, and Nico content with Percy laying there with his head on Nico's chest.</p><p>Minutes passed and Percy's eyes were getting heavy, "Percy," Nico said, but it was so softly that it barely registered in Percy's mind. After a long, groggy moment he finally managed to open his eyes and stare up into Nico's twilight eyes, sparkling with private thoughts and something else.</p><p>"Mm?" Percy hummed quietly.</p><p>"Are we—" Nico stopped himself, he looked unsure of something. Percy grabbed the hand on his head and brought it down so he could lace his own fingers through it, he kissed Nico's middle knuckle, which seemed to be enough to make the boy he was laying on top of confident enough to go on. "Are we dating now, or is it too soon? Because…I leave in a few weeks. I don't even know if I'll be here for my birthday."</p><p>Percy sighed, "Nico's I think we've been dating since we were, like, nine." He said into Nico's chest, which brought a nervous smile to Nico's face. "It's our last year of school before college, and you live in California, and I would be stupid not to do the long distance thing with you." He sat up, straddling Nico's hips he stared down at his boy. The one he had just come out for. "Will you be my boyfriend?"</p><p>Percy had seen Nico smile before, but this one was his favorite. He memorized the way Nico's eyes lit up, the way the first tear fell down his cheek. Nico was pushing himself up and had his arms wrapped around Percy's neck before he pulled him into an enamored kiss.</p><p>"Does that mean yes?"</p><p>Nico was laughing now, "Yes," He said kissing him again. "Yes it does."</p><hr/><p>Frank Zhang was a lot of things, a student, a son, a grandson. Animals loved him, kids too, in fact most people found him (and still, "him" was just the only pronoun Frank thought would be easiest) likeable.</p><p>But he was also: kind of chunky (especially compared to his skinny ass best friends), quiet, and awkward. Especially around people he thought were cute. How he survived and managed sentences around those aforementioned best friends was beyond him, but when the girl behind the counter of the video game store smiled at him Frank's heart nearly leapt out of his chest. "Hi, welcome to Game World," She said, Frank nodded, and he nodded, and he nodded again. She laughed, "My name's Hazel, if you need anything please ask, because I'm bored doing my logs on the computer."</p><p>"Frank!" Frank nearly shouted, thankful that Game World only had a few customers today, which meant not nearly as many people looked up to give him weird stares. Hazel's left eyebrow simply rose a centimeter upward. "I mean, my-my name is Frank. Fai Zhang. I mean Frank Zhang; my name is Frank in English. That was the name that my grandma calls me; I'm Chinese-American. Well, I mean I'm mostly Chinese cause my Dad was half-white. I'm not even American, actually, cause my family's from Canada—well I mean we're from China originally, I guess but - but—" He blushed and bit his tongue. "I-I'm going to look around." He said turning before he embarrassed himself any further. This is what he got for going out without Rachel or Leo.</p><p>Leo had even said he wanted to hang, but stupidly Frank had decided he needed a day to himself.</p><p>Frank was so caught up in pretending to look for games that he barely felt the little fingers wrap around his arm, "Frank Zhang, from Canada, I'm Hazel Levesque from New Orleans, Louisiana. Everyone calls me Hazel, cause in French my name is still Hazel." She laughed, Frank liked the sound of her laugh. "And you are probably the cutest thing I've seen walk in all day, all week if I'm honest. I thought I saw someone as cute as you, but then I realized it was my reflection, so…" She grinned at him and Frank had to laugh.</p><p>Again, Frank was a lot of things, and when people called him cute it usually meant in that little brother kind of way, but he didn't think she meant it like that. Hazel was so much shorter than him he had trouble imagining her having a little brother. "I—thanks. You're really pretty." He said meekly.</p><p>She smiled again, "So what kind of game are you looking for, or did you just come here to get all flustered and red by the pretty girl behind the counter?"</p><p>"I was—"</p><p>"You look like a Nintendo kind of guy, maybe the occasional Sony game, but I can kinda see you as a Mario fan. I mean, everyone's a Mario fan, am I right?" Frank liked the way Hazel's mouth moved when she spoke, he liked her maple colored skin, he liked her braids that ended in frizzy afro curls. He liked that she was wearing a shirt that said, "Equality = Love". He liked that her eyes were almond with a bits of ocher gold in them. He could have gone on, but she was talking, "—thinking about going as Samus for Halloween, you know?"</p><p>"I—that'd be really cool." Frank replied.</p><p>He didn't know how it happened but he ended up staying in the store till the end of her shift, and then they ended up sitting on the curb behind the store for another two hours. Hazel was smart, she attended St. Agnes Academy for Girls, which she hated, but she was graduating this year, which she loved. She wanted to be a geologist, her dad owned a mining company but she and he were estranged, and her mom was apparently crazy but she got by. "What do you do?" She asked, and it was a question Frank dreaded. He seemed so boring, comparatively.</p><p>"I just go to school, really." He told her. She was sitting so close to him, and she smelled so good. "I don't know, my mom was in the army. I'm—" He blushed again.</p><p>She nudged him with her elbow, "Say it, you're what?"</p><p>He looked at her bashfully, "I'm thinking about enlisting because, you know, she was such a big influence in my life and I've always wanted to be more like her." But they didn't have a place for guys that were gender neutral, who loved show tunes as much as they loved shooting guns, he thought. Actually Frank didn't <em>love </em>shooting guns, but he was good at it. His mom had trained him on marksman courses ever since she deemed him old enough, and he knew gun safety like the back of his hand.</p><p>"That's cool and sweet," Hazel said, touching his arm. "What would you want to do?"</p><p>"Tactical analyst," He blurted out before he even thought about it. "I mean, that's what she does…"</p><p>Hazel smiled, "Sounds like you do more than just go to school to me then, Frank Zhang from Canada. How'd you end up down here, anyway?"</p><p>"Mom retired and she wanted to move somewhere warm, Grandma wasn't happy about it but we couldn't leave her up there by herself. I got my citizenship when I was twelve. I don't even know if Gran is a citizen or not, she said, "I've been in two countries already, got my papers for them, why do I need a third?" Frank laughed at the memory. "Mom probably made her though, you know, so we could all be here legally."</p><p>"Sounds like you're close with your family?"</p><p>Frank thought about that, he looked down at his feet then back up at her, "Yeah, I guess I am." He said, a small smile tugging on his lips. "I just forget sometimes because they're always annoying me."</p><p>"That just means they love you," Hazel shoved against his shoulder. She stood and Frank watched as she stretched, he could see a bit of her stomach and how lithe her body was. He looked away and felt slightly envious like he did when he looked at Rachel, Leo, or Nico, but he also felt something else entirely. His face was hot and he realized he was blushing again. "You really are cute," She smirked and he looked back. "Let me see your phone." Before he was even thinking about it he handed her his phone, her fingers were flying across the screen for the majority of ten seconds before she handed it back to him. He stared at the new contact <em>Hazel 3 </em>it read. He looked back up at her, "Text me sometime, okay? I gotta get home." She leaned down and kissed his cheek and Frank's heart nearly stuttered out of his chest.</p><p>"I—yeah. I can-I can definitely do that." He said trying to stand, nearly losing it before he caught himself, and then pushing himself up. She smiled at him.</p><p>"Good. If you don't text me I texted myself from your phone so I have your number. But you better text me first." Frank was nodding his head again before she stopped it was her index finger.</p><p>"I'll see you sometime, Frank Zhang from Canada."</p><p>"Y-yeah." Frank watched as she left, her hair bouncing with her movements, then she rounded the corner and was gone. He looked down at his phone again and then back up to where she disappeared. "<em>Fuck</em>." He whispered to himself.</p><hr/><p>Carter was laying beside Grover. His chest was still heaving, and he was wondering to himself how someone who smoked so much could have so much stamina. Grover was grinning next to him, "How was that?"</p><p>"You were right, the second time was even better." Carter admitted, beyond tired now.</p><p>"What can I say? I had a good teacher." Grover still grinned. Carter would have thought it was awkward them being nearly the same height but Grover's head was on his shoulder and he was more than comfortable. "You're pretty bendy for a guy that's always so uptight, brother."</p><p>Carter's cheeks flushed, "I don't know if that's a compliment or not."</p><p>"Compliment." Grover assured.</p><p>"Well I don't mean to be uptight, someone's gotta keep my sister in line."</p><p>Grover rolled over onto his stomach so he was looking Carter in the eye and Carter's arm rested on his naked back, rubbing up and down, occasionally grabbing at Grover's ass, "Man, she keeps <em>you </em>in line."</p><p>Carter chuckled, "True. That's what Dad is for, I guess." He tried to shrug, but lying down with another person semi on top of him made it a bit difficult. "Anyway, thanks for this. You're right, I was feeling really tightly wound and I needed something to relieve some stress." Grover opened his mouth, "Something that wasn't weed, still not much of a smoker, remember?"</p><p>"Hey, man, sex is just as much a drug as anything else," Grover leaned in, pressing their mouths together, Carter kissed him back still groping where he could. "If you're not careful you get addicted."</p><p>Just when Carter was think just how true that statement was the door opened, causing both young men to look up. "I got Annabeth to go to sleep, poor thing. She's not even heartbroken, just very hurt they didn't tell her sooner." Juniper closed the door behind her. She pulled her shirt off and then her pants. "Move over, baby." Grover scooted in closer to Carter and she climbed into the bed. "I may ask Reyna to just take her home tomorrow morning if you don't mind driving the rest of us back down on Saturday, Carter?"</p><p>Carter's mind was still trying to process the fact that he was laying naked in bed with two other equally naked people. "I—well, there should be enough room, I think. It's a station wagon." He said.</p><p>"Good." Juniper curled into Grover's side. "Were you two done, or did I interrupt?"</p><p>"We're done if you're tired," Grover said to her, kissing her forehead. Carter just looked on, he considered getting out of the bed but Grover's other arms wrapped around his waist. "No you don't." He said with a tired smirk on his face. "I'm too comfortable; you're spending the night in here. So wrap them surprisingly strong arms around me and Juni and go to sleep."</p><p>"I—" Grover managed somehow to twist around completely and kiss him directly on the mouth, effectively shutting him up.</p><p>"Threeway in the morning. It's totally happening."</p><p>"Whatever you say, baby." Juniper replied sleepily snuggling further into them.</p><p>Carter wasn't sure if he was getting any sleep at all. With a lot of thought he turned so both of his arms were around the other persons in bed to the best of his abilities, his naked body pressing against Grover's warm backside, but his hands resting on the soft skin of Juniper's back.</p><p>Closing his eyes, because what else could he do, he wondered how he got in a situation like this?</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three-ways, you come to find out, are difficult.</p><p>Invariably someone gets left out for long periods of time and they just have to sit on the bed awkwardly or take the situation almost literally into their own hands. Carter knew that if it came down to it he couldn't do the latter; he would feel too out of place for something like that. Luckily for him Grover seemed adept at keeping up with both him and Juniper, who was a surprisingly demanding lover.</p><p>It was the first time Carter had ever kissed than more than one person at a time; really this was way beyond him and his abilities. But, it seemed that he had lucked out yet again because both Grover and Juniper excelled at teaching.</p><p>"Look at her, man," Grover said, settled behind Carter on the bed. Both boys were kneeling and Juniper was lying back, naked, with her knees bent and her feet planted on the bed; her left arm was thrown behind her head and her dark hair was spread out behind her like a lake of ebony. She stared up at them with smiling eyes as her right hand worked slowly, fingers languidly caressing at her entrance, teasingly dipping inside only for her to grin and return to rubbing. Carter watched her play with herself, swallowing from the sheer eroticism radiating off of the normally quiet girl. Suddenly he felt Grover's hand grasp at his manhood, causing a low groan to fall out of his mouth, and Grover began stroking him slowly. "Touch her." The voice against his ear was made of nothing but hot air, which sent a trembling chill down Carter's spine. He tried to look at Grover who kissed him hard on the mouth the moment his head turned, all the while still stroking him. "Touch her," He said again when he pulled back. Carter sucked in a breath, groaning again, and Grover's stroking slowed. "Sorry," He chuckled before kissing Carter's neck again.</p><p>Carter looked at Juniper, whose fingers were now opening her up invitingly, almost begging to be touched. Her eyes met Carter's and immediately his head was heady and light. There was some silent agreement in her eyes, some quiet, pleading voice that told Carter to oblige the man that had a hand wrapped around his dick.</p><p>He ran a finger from her belly button to her moistened slit, the warmth intoxicating and wet. She moaned encouragingly and Carter knew he had to get out of his own head and live in this moment or he would never be able to do this. <em>If Zia saw me now she'd probably take back everything she said about me being boring and stuffy and</em>—Carter stopped that train of thought, this was the most inopportune time to be focusing on the past, he chided himself. The man behind him was distracting enough to tear his attention away from it.</p><p>"Like this," Grover said, he guided Carter's head down till it was between Juniper's legs. "Kiss her here, use your tongue, she likes it." Carter looked up at Juniper.</p><p>"I do." She said with a sideways smirk, and her voice mixed with that look in her eyes sent a shockwave of electricity down to his groin, which Grover took notice of as it pulsed in his hands. He gripped it tighter, stroking slowly but with a firm grip. Carter found breathing was difficult like this, with Juniper's legs wrapped around his head and Grover administering such pleasurable torture.</p><p>Still, there was a task to do and he had done this for Zia so it wasn't like he was completely lost on the mechanics, but that had been a long time ago. Taking a breath he continued forward into her warmth, kissing her sweetly and tasting her on his lips. She was sweet and salty and inebriating all at the same time and it was enough for Carter put his nerves away. The technique of it came back to him after a moment and he set to the task with relish, his enthusiasm earning him a high whine from the girl above him. Belatedly he heard Grover chuckle, but the smell of woman and the breathy sound of her genuine moaning had his attention. That is before he felt something wet swipe across his own entrance, his head came up but a hand was pressing him back down. "Don't stop." Juniper was commanding and brokered no argument. Carter nodded, though he could, without uncertainty, feel Grover's tongue now laving at him from behind. It didn't feel unpleasant so he paid no mind to it. But Carter's nerves tried again to rush to the surface when he felt a finger pushing into him. His body clenched almost on instinct.</p><p>"Relax Carter, you're in good hands," Grover kissed his back, biting down and making Carter squeak out a moan. Juniper's hand was in his hair again and guided his attention back to her own pleasure; Carter began his ministrations again, bringing his hand up to open her more as his tongue dove deeper. Her thighs tightened around his head and for just a moment Carter forgot Grover was behind him, but that was just the moment Grover needed. Another finger found its way past the tight muscles of his anal ring, and Carter squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the itching burn of being stretched. Grover scissored his fingers, which made Carter cry out against Juniper's womanhood.</p><p>Juniper only grinned down at him, "Here," She said sitting up on her elbows, "Let him come up to me, I'll distract him while you do that. Grover nodded and pushed a little. Carter took the hint and crawled up the girl's body, though those fingers were never removed from him during his upward shuffle. His body was shaking as Grover began thrusting and scissoring again and he groaned in the crook of Juniper's neck, back arched and eyes squeezed shut tight. "Hey," Juniper's hand grabbed his face and he popped an eye open with great force of will. She smiled at him, "While he does you, you do me," She said bringing Carter's hand around and placing it at her still-wet opening. She took two of his fingers and brought them to the very cusp of her, "Do it," She whispered in his ear and Carter pushed in, feeling her tightness pull him in, wrapping around his index and middle finger as if anticipating their arrival. She felt smooth and slippery around his fingers and tried his best to concentrate on opening her up while the same was being done to him.</p><p>With the fingers stretching him and from the way Juniper took charge, clenching around his own fingers to bring him back to the task quite literally at hand when Grover's ministrations behind him became too distracting Carter found that his erection was beginning to hurt, throbbing against his thigh it begged to be touched but he was otherwise distracted. He was pulled him into a fierce kiss, Juniper biting his lip and nearly growling as he finger-fucked her.</p><p>Meanwhile Grover was smiling to himself, sitting on his haunches watching the two go at it while he stretched Carter open, searching fingers probing deeper. Without the proper lubrication this was taking longer than he wanted it to, but every now and then he would pull his hand away and rim Carter again, making the boy beneath him a quivering mess, then he would push his fingers back in, inch by inch, slowly being accepted by Carter's tight ass.</p><p>When his long fingers were just a bit past the knuckle Carter's entire body started to shake and Grover stopped. He pressed into the spot he had brushed passed before and his eyes met Juniper's. They both grinned.</p><p>"Condoms," Grover decided, removing his fingers. Carter made a whimpering noise against Juniper, who laughed until he increased the speed of his own thrusting fingers, then she made a similar sound. "That'll show her," Grover laughed and slapped Carter on the ass, earning another whimper. He moved off of the bed, looking over his shoulder at the two rutting bodies trying to meld into one another. Juniper's tan skin was made pale by the deep oaken color of Carter's. Wrapping a hand around his own erection Grover just watched for a moment, stroking himself slowly and enjoying the show.</p><p>Carter took one of Juniper's nipples in his mouth, sucking on it sinfully and Grover knew how much his girlfriend enjoyed that particular move as he had done it several times. Her hands gripped tightly at his hair and she craned her neck as best she could to watch, her mouth half open and her eyes half lidded as she rolled her body upward. Grover found himself stroking more quickly, but with a thought he stopped and turned, opening a duffle bag. After a moment of searching and an, "Oh, <em>God!</em>" heard from the bed (Carter was a moaner) he found the box of condoms he had packed. Moving a few clothes around he found a small bottle of lotion that Juniper probably brought with them. He pulled out a roll from the box and brought them and the lotion over to the bed, smirking to see that Juniper's hand had worked its way around to Carter's ass to reciprocate what he was doing to her.</p><p>"Okay, my beauties, I'm joining back in before you finish each other off." He smirked. He opened one of the condoms and grabbed at Carter's hip, pulling the young man against him in a sitting position. Wrapping two arms around him he pinched at the condom and deftly slid it down Carter's almost leaking hard-on. "You aren't going to last long at all are you, buddy?" Grover grinned, jerking Carter off for a moment and biting his neck at the same time. The bookworm of a boy would have said something, but with both sensations plus the fact that Juniper was reaching up and fondling his balls, the only thing that managed to come out of his mouth was a loud moan.</p><p>"Don't tease him too much, baby. I don't want him finishing just yet." Juniper pushed up off of the bed and kissed Grover over Carter's shoulder, effectively sandwiching him between the two hard bodies; her breasts and wet, cloying heat below on his front and Grover's rock hard erection pressing into him from behind. Lying back again Juniper draped him over her, she grabbed him about the middle by his manhood and guided him into her, where he slipped in comfortably and with little resistance. She clenched around him and with a satisfied chuckle she rolled her hips. Carter's head hit her shoulder as he moaned again at the feeling of her wrapped around him. He thrust forward over ambitiously and sheathed himself inside of her, creating echoing moans from both parties.</p><p>Grover sat back again, rolling the condom over his own erection and coating himself with the lotion. He dabbed a bit on Carter's entrance, sending a shiver up the boy's spine though he was too distracted by the demanding girl underneath him to do anything but squirm and thrust forward harder. Grover grinned, standing on his knees and pushing the bulbous head of his manhood into Carter, whose body stilled instantly; a strangled sound hissed out of him as Grover pushed on. The lanky teen leaned forward, "<em>Shh</em>," He kissed Carter's neck, "You're doing so good," He kissed his neck again, sliding into him bit by bit. "He's so fucking tight, baby." Juniper's smirked, her hands moving the hair out of Grover's eye. "Carter, tell Juni what you think of her, first thing that comes to mind."</p><p>Carter could hardly form a word, his brain wasn't sure in which direction to send pleasure signals so he ended up feeling like putty all over.</p><p>"C'mon, Carter, I'm all ears," Juniper continued fucking herself on him while Grover pressed in slowly from behind.</p><p>"Smells good," Carter breathed out, inhaling her deeply. "She smells so fucking good," He said.</p><p>"What else?" Grover wondered, pulling out and coating himself with more lotion.</p><p>"She—ahh!" Grover pushed in again without warning, sinking in further than before, "Pretty. Beautiful. She's gorgeous." He felt Juniper kissing the side of his face, riding him faster. Grover was able to thrust now, Carter forcing himself to relax enough for the boy behind him to slip in completely, and with it he felt full on both ends. "And she's so fucking tight and wet, and her skin is soft, argh—" Carter sucked on his lip, keeping himself from climaxing on pure force of will. Grover took over, pounding into him and in turn causing Carter to do the same to Juniper, whose head was thrown back.</p><p>"<em>Goddamn it</em>." She moaned as Carter bit her collarbone. Her fingers gripped one of the boys' arms, though whose she wasn't sure. They were a bundle of limbs and bodies and someone was kissing someone else but after a while no one could keep up and no one wanted to.</p><p>When it was over they couldn't exactly say, because when one person finished the other two would continue until he or she was ready to join again, and time slipped by without much meaning. Soon though they were all mush and were lying on the bed, spent beyond measure. Grover kissed Juniper, who kissed Carter, who turned and kissed Grover, who smiled like an idiot, "See, threeways are awesome." If she had the energy Juniper would have rolled her eyes, but she just chuckled and let the warmth of all the bodies pull her into light dozing. Carter felt his own eyes getting heavy as he laid his head on her shoulder, Grover still placing feather kisses all over his back. "Okay," Grover watched them, "I'm guessing naptime first, then maybe round two?"</p><p>Juniper and Carter both gave sleepy laughs, but neither answered.</p><p>"That don't mean no," Grover grinned, snuggling down into their shared bed, content with his early morning shenanigans.</p><hr/><p>Nico wondered how Percy could sleep so soundly after everything they'd been through last night: from breaking up with his longtime girlfriend to asking Nico out almost directly afterwards, and Nico saying yes.</p><p>Foolishly, Nico thought to himself.</p><p>They had little more than a month left of summer and then they would return to the lives they lived before and Nico would become an old flame—which he probably deserved considering what they had done to Annabeth.</p><p>She had left that morning with Reyna, and Nico had watched them go from his window. He was a coward because he didn't want to face her the morning after. From his vantage point of the upstairs window she had looked tired and her hair had been a nest of tangles pulled into a messy ponytail. Nico's heart went out to her and he hated himself for how things had worked out. He should have been happier, he guessed. He'd gotten the guy, his first love; so why didn't he feel better? He looked over at Percy's sleeping form, oblivious to the world around him as he snored so loudly Nico was sure he would wake, but he never did, he just kept on in that blissful state of blessed ignorance.</p><p>Percy was everything anyone could dream of: he was strong, and tall, and handsome, he was funny, and kind, and caring and Nico loved him and everything about him so deeply that it hurt. There was a 'but' in there somewhere but he just didn't know what it was exactly.</p><p>Sighing to himself Nico took in the sight of Percy's old room at the cabin, it was slightly bigger than the one he had downstairs, but where as Nico's old knickknacks were still scattered all about as if he'd only left yesterday Percy's room was devoid of everything but furniture. He guessed the Blofises had taken all of their things with them but the sheets on the beds. It wasn't like Nico had gotten much of a choice in the situation.</p><p>He looked over at Percy again from his seat by the window. The urge to go over to the bed, run his fingers through that ink black hair and kiss those deliciously pink lips until sea-green eyes were smiling at him was strong but he resisted.</p><p>His fingers were tapping a steady staccato against his leg, and he focused more on Percy, who's angelic face had its mouth wide open to admit monstrous snores that Nico thought were cute.</p><p>Percy was his now so why didn't he feel like the winner?</p><p>With almost scary clarity Nico realized in that moment what he needed more than anything was a cigarette to calm his nerves. He didn't want to dull himself with weed, and he was a horrible drunk in the mornings. He needed the toxic burn of cigarette smoke deep in his lung, to fill him and make his brain alive with its nicotine. But the nearest gas station was a few miles into town and he didn't want to risk taking someone else's car considering he didn't exactly have his licenses or permit.</p><p>Maybe, he thought, Grover would have cigarettes. And why not? He had everything else. So standing to his feet he crossed the room quietly and opened the door without a sound, closing it silently behind him. He walked to Grover and Juniper's room, which had been his parents' bedroom before, and knocked on the door lightly.</p><p>After a moment of shuffling it opened and a bare-chested, crazy haired Grover answered it, "Nico, my man," He said, sounding a both sleepy and out of breath. "What can I do for you, brother?"</p><p>"Uh," Nico could see Carter and Juniper on the bed, both awake, if barely, and as naked as Grover appeared to be, though they were doing their best to cover themselves. Carter out of modesty, Juniper out of courtesy, most likely. Nico cleared his throat, "Cigarettes. Do you have any?"</p><p>Grover clicked his tongue, "I've got green and booze, Neeks, but I don't smoke cigs, man."</p><p>"Right. Okay, sorry for interrupting," Nico didn't know whether to wave at his friends behind the young man holding the door, he nodded his head to them.</p><p>"You could join—"</p><p>"We have more than enough people right now," Juniper called from the door, scolding Grover more than trying to insult Nico. "No offense, Nico. I'm just not in the mood for an orgy so early in the morning."</p><p>Grover smirked, "Sorry, brother, my lady isn't down for a foursome right now."</p><p>"Maybe next time," Nico meant it as a joke, but Grover only smiled wider. Grabbing the door knob he closed it in Grover's face. He looked at the door to Percy's room not wanting to go back in there just yet, the guilt would eat away at him for enjoying his time with Percy this soon after he and Annabeth had split. But at the same time he didn't have much longer to spend with his newly acquired boyfriend.</p><p>"Heard you were looking for cigarettes." Nico was surprised by Sadie's voice, he looked over his shoulder at her. Her golden brown hair with its blue highlights fell around her shoulders limply, she was wearing a shirt that was probably a size too big for her and boy's boxer shorts.</p><p>"Who's are those?" Nico asked motioning to the shorts.</p><p>"Anubis's." Sadie shrugged. "Left them behind one day, I threw them in with my wash and I guess they found their way into my sleepwear." She answered. "But, you're missing the point of me emerging from that lovely bed at the sound of your voice: I have cigarettes."</p><p>"You smoke?"</p><p>"Not avidly, my mates and I used to and I just never kicked the habit, really. I usually only do it when dad or my grandparents are hassling me, or when Carter has been particularly annoying."</p><p>"Then I'm sure you're grateful you brought them on this trip." Nico replied with a dark smirk.</p><p>"Moreover: you're glad I brought them. Let's go sit outside," She produced a pack of menthol cigarettes from the waistband of her boxer shorts and shook it once, which was all Nico needed to hear.</p><hr/><p>When Percy woke up it was to the sound of Nico closing the door very quietly. Percy popped one eye open and stared at him, turning on the bed so that he was on his back, he smiled, "Good morning,"</p><p>"Morning," Nico said and Percy patted the space beside him. Nico crawled into the bed and Percy wrinkled his nose.</p><p>"You smell like an ashtray,"</p><p>"I had a smoke or two," Was the reply. Percy rolled his eyes but he pulled Nico on top of himself anyway, grabbing him by the neck and bringing him down he kissed him despite the taste. "I can go brush my teeth if it's that much of a problem?" But Percy kissed him again.</p><p>"No, it's okay, it just feels good to do this without feeling guilty about it." There was a real, genuine smile there. Sighing Nico put his head at the crux of Percy's neck, as if not looking at his boyfriend would hide his shame. "Your hair smells good at least," Percy chuckled, and he ran his hands down the arch of Nico's back, and Nico couldn't help it. Even with his conscience still heavy he shivered at the touch, a touch he had desired for so long. Percy's hands weren't rough or soft, but they were strong and they felt just right against his skin. They ran under his shirt, scratching here and there as Nico's body was explored. The next thing he knew he was flipped onto his back, Percy staring down at him from above. "There we go, stop hiding and let me see you." He said with a grin. Nico stared up at him, guilt, desire, shame and lust all warring in his eyes in an unreadable combination. "Are you okay? Does that not feel good?" Percy wondered, nipping at Nico's neck. It took everything in him to bite back a moan.</p><p>"It's not that," He replied, "it feels really fucking good and I don't want you to stop, but…" Percy stopped, his hands holding him up and his body laying slant against Nico's.</p><p>"But?" He asked.</p><p>"I can't help but think about Annabeth." The look on Percy's face caused Nico to make his own face before he continued, "God, not like that." He pushed Percy, but the boy on top of him didn't move. "I just feel bad is all." He sighed, "I feel terrible, actually. We can't carry on like what we did wasn't wrong and we haven't even talked about it." Percy pushed off of Nico and sat at his feet on the bed. "I wanted you and I'm so glad I have you now but I hate the way I got you."</p><p>"Nico…" Percy's eyes trailed down to the checkered comforter, he searched the stitches as if they were going to start speaking to him, giving words of wisdom for him to impart on his boyfriend. "We're together now, how it happened doesn't matter. I hurt Annabeth and that's on me, not on you. <em>You </em>didn't make me stray, <em>you </em>didn't make me kiss you, you're not the problem. I am." He moved to sit between Nico's legs, pulling the other boy up into a sitting position as well, "I know it's going to be hard, I know school is starting back up after your birthday, I know you're going back to California, but I know we can make this work. Because this is the relationship I've been waiting for my entire life, you're the one that I want. I can apologize to Annabeth till I'm blue in the face, I can grovel on my knees and beg and she may never forgive me, but that's my problem and I will deal with it." Here he grabbed Nico's face and he stared down into his eyes with a fiery light that warmed away the ice cold guilt in Nico's chest, if only for a moment, "You though, you make me happy in ways I could never have even dreamed about and it's been one day, officially. I don't even care that you taste like you've been licking an ashtray for seven years, because it's you, Nico. Never think that you did anything wrong when it comes to us, because I can guarantee it's probably always going to be me that's messing up."</p><p>Nico laughed, "You have no idea how wrong you are," He said staring into those perfect aquamarine eyes, "Between the two of us who's the one in therapy? Or the one who had to literally go out of state to find someone who could handle his case? Or—" Nico's lips found warmth pressing down into them effectively cutting him off. That warmth was Percy's lips. He kissed Nico until he felt the tension leave younger boy's shoulders, and then he started pecking Nico's mouth until the other boy started laughing.</p><p>Percy grinned, "Really, Nico, this isn't a contest." Kissing him once more he said, "I just want this to work between us. I will do anything I can to make it work."</p><p>Nico shook his head, "I just got out of a relationship myself, a pretty intense one, and I'm seeing a psychiatrist, I'm certifiably unstable, remember? And your girlfriend just left you because she caught you with me, and you still want to give this a try?"</p><p>Percy said, "That's what I've been saying since you walked your skinny butt back in here," Then he paused, "Unless you don't want to? I know this has all be crazy and hard on you considering I was kind of dating you and Annabeth at the same time. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to end this."</p><p>Percy searched Nico's face and he could read so many emotions on it, "I want this more than anything." Nico replied. "But I'm moody, and sometimes I'm hard to get along with, and I'm selfish, Percy. I smoke and I drink almost excessively to cope with problems that I don't even think are problems anymore, I try not to do drugs anymore but sometimes I still want to so there's that. There are so many reasons why <em>you </em>shouldn't want <em>me</em>. You're the one losing out on this deal. I'm such a weak person."</p><p>"If you think I'm not hitting the jackpot by dating you then you really are crazy," He pressed his lips to Nico's once more. "You're not weak because you're <em>still</em> here. You are so much stronger than you realize, and when you think you can't be strong I'll be strong for you, okay?" Percy ran a finger down his cheek, "So can we still do this? Are we still boyfriends?"</p><p>Nico replied after a moment, "Still boyfriends."</p><p>"And do you still love me?"</p><p>Nico swallowed thick saliva, "More than I even know how to deal with,"</p><p>Percy smiled at that before nipping at Nico's mouth. "I love you too, Nicky. So much." Percy sat up. "Now go brush your teeth, I can't keep tasting ash every time I kiss you. You're gonna have to start carrying around mouthwash if you're gonna smoke."</p><p>Nico chuckled. He got up and went to his bag, "I'll go brush them right now," To his great amusement Percy jumped up behind him, wrapping his arms around him and pressing him against the door. "This is going to make it a little difficult to go brush my teeth."</p><p>"I thought I'd go brush mine too," Percy said, standing against him in nothing but his boxers. Nico ran his nails down Percy's naked chest, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His hands rested on Percy's hips and he pulled the taller young man flush against him.</p><p>"Oh, really?" He wondered. "And how are we going to do that against the door?" Percy's hands slipped under his shirt, lifting it so he could see the flesh underneath. His hands ran over Nico's stomach, over his chest, bumping into his nipples, under his arms, down his back. "I can always take the shirt off, if you want."</p><p>"<em>Shh</em>," Percy shushed him, "I'm enjoying the view." Nico smirked and pushed Percy back half a step. He pulled his shirt off quickly and motioned for him to return. Percy was on him like a starving animal in that next moment, his hands roaming as if Nico's body were Florida and he was Ponce de Leon. When his fingers came to rest at the waistband of Nico's pants he bit his lip. "Can I give you a blowjob?" Nico's eyes snapped open, he wasn't even aware he'd closed them. Rouge was painted across Percy's cheeks and ears, highlighting freckles that otherwise Nico wouldn't have ever seen no matter how closely he studied this boy's face. He felt himself grinning the next moment and reached down, popping the button of his jeans open without a word. Percy leaned in, face still burning, and there was a sort of nervousness in his hands now. They shook slightly as they held him, but the look on his face was something akin to determination.</p><p>Nico grabbed Percy by the chin before his newly christened boyfriend could begin kissing his way downward, "What's the rush?" He asked, still grinning. Percy looked away, but Nico wouldn't let him turn his head. "Percy?"</p><p>"I want to get good at this," Percy said. "Good like you, I want to make you hard just by kissing you, and I want you to know that I give better blowjobs than anyone else you've ever been with." Nico laughed and carded his fingers through Percy's hair watching it ruffle under his touch. He walked Percy backward.</p><p>"I told you, this is an art form, Perce." He smirked. "It's about knowing how to control your breathing, knowing when to use your tongue, how to open up your throat, keeping your teeth back unless it's just to graze, never more than that. Believe me, I will let you have every opportunity we get to improve." The next thing Nico knew he was sitting on the bed, and Percy was kneeling in front of him. "Are you always so eager to please?" He wondered, addicted to playing with Percy's hair. Probably because it was grown long, just passed his ears, and it was soft to the touch and Percy looked so good with it pushed out of his face.</p><p>"Just for you." Percy replied and Nico almost rolled his eyes, but he thought it was still sweet.</p><p>"I'm going to teach you about a little thing called foreplay," Nico chuckled.</p><p>Percy huffed, "Foreplay later, dick sucking now!" Nico laughed again, a real belly laugh that made Percy smile so widely he felt himself blushing. "I love your laugh." He ran his hand up Nico's sides and he was unsurprised to find that the scars there didn't deter him or diminish his attraction to Nico. He knew they were old battle scars that were made from the wars of Nico versus his own mind. It was a feud that no one could have won and one Percy was sorry that Nico had to have fought, or that he was sometimes still fighting. But now Percy was here to stay his boyfriend's hand if it ever had a razor in it and he hoped more than anything that he could.</p><p>He stared up at Nico and smiled again.</p><p>"Don't smile at me, Jackson. You always look like you're up to something, especially so close to my dick." Which made him chuckle.</p><p>"I am up to something," He said, pulling at Nico's pants, the shorter of the two sat up so that his jeans could be wriggled down his legs. "Much better," Percy grinned.</p><p>"You're such a dork," Nico smiled.</p><p>"I'm your dork now." Percy replied.</p><p>Nico just laughed, he had to concede to that.</p><hr/><p>The car was quiet, and the radio was off. Reyna glanced over at Annabeth who was staring out the window. They had been riding for forty-five minutes and neither one had really said much.</p><p>Truthfully, Reyna was afraid Annabeth would get a skewed vision of gay people because of her now ex-boyfriend, and she didn't want that to happen considering she had almost literally just come out. What a reception this had been thus far.</p><p>She also didn't want to lose her best friend because Jackson had been a fucking idiot, "Are we okay?" She asked after a moment of deliberation. She didn't repeat herself or clarify because even at her most emotionally drained Annabeth was the most intelligent person she knew and there was no need to give further explanation.</p><p>Annabeth looked over at her but Reyna made sure to keep her eyes on the road. She didn't want to look into those stormy grays, to get swept up into the typhoon that was Annabeth. Not right now, not when Annabeth needed her. "Rey, you and me are solid." Annabeth said, placing a hand on her arm for just a moment. The warmth of her lingered when she pulled away and Reyna tried not to concentrate on it.</p><p>"I." Reyna said.</p><p>"What?" Annabeth wondered.</p><p>"You and <em>I </em>are solid, genius. Just because you're sad doesn't mean I'll let you make syntax errors," But she smiled and to her relief Annabeth laughed without it sounding hollow. "I'm glad though," She continued, "I thought…" She let that hang in the air.</p><p>"Thought that because Percy turned out to be gay I'd hate gay people?" Annabeth ventured, Reyna was quiet then. "Rey, you know you're like a sister to me. I know you probably don't want to hear that, considering, but it's still true. I will love you regardless of what or who you're attracted to."</p><p>A wry smile tugged at Reyna's lips then, but her eyes spoke of so much relief, "You said "what or who"."</p><p>Annabeth rolled her eyes, "It's not supposed to be 'whom' you grammar-Nazi."</p><p>"No, no. I just thought that it was funny. Like tomorrow I'd just show up with a cactus or something and proclaim it was the love I've been looking for my entire life."</p><p>"Well, you know I respect your decisions," Annabeth said with a straight face. "You love that cactus Rey, she may be a bit prickly on the outside, but inside she's soft and sweet where it counts." This time they both laughed. Reyna was smiling before a thought occurred to her after their laughter wore down.</p><p>She looked over at Annabeth this time, "So are <em>you</em>okay? Really?" Annabeth's eyebrows drew together for a moment and her mouth set into a thin line.</p><p>"No." She said point blank. "But that means it meant something. If I were okay right now it would mean that Percy and I weren't great together. We were. We were so good." It took a moment her for her to compose herself, Reyna knew how much Annabeth hated crying in front of other people. It wasn't a comfort to her to lay herself bare like that and Reyna respected it, she felt more than saw that Annabeth still needed to work things out in her own head before she was completely comfortable breaking down even with her own best friend. "But," She said, "I'll be okay. I will, the more rational part of my brain knows that, and after a time so will the more emotional side." She chuckled a bit, "Maybe your cactus has a brother she could introduce me to,"</p><p>"You don't think it'd be weird if we dated siblings?" Reyna said with a grin.</p><p>"Maybe at first, but we be flora-in-laws if we married our partners," Annabeth replied, wiping at her nose. Then, as if a thought occurred to her she said, "God, you're not going to start wearing obscene amounts of flannel now are you?"</p><p>"I have to, it's lesbian code. How else will I identify other members of my pack?" Annabeth laughed again and put her head on Reyna's shoulder. The scent of old books and coffee and perfume that always clung to her was strong and Reyna didn't flinch away from it. She just sighed and kept her hands steady.</p><p>"Thank you," Annabeth said. "No one else could have made me feel this much better this quickly. Juniper tried, bless her, but if I had to drink one more glass of herbal tea I swear I would have thrown up. Sadie just kept trying to pawn her brother off on me and telling me she'd beat up Percy if she thought it would make me feel better."</p><p>"You didn't take her up on that?" Reyna asked.</p><p>Annabeth chuckled, "Don't. You know he's not at fault here completely. And neither is Nico, before you say anything."</p><p>"Hey, I actually like the di Angelo kid." Reyna shrugged, Annabeth's head followed the movement of her shoulder. "Put your seatbelt back on, genius." Annabeth was back in her seat and buckled in again the next moment.</p><p>"You never did like Percy." She pointed out.</p><p>"I didn't hate him; I just knew something like this would happen."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah." Annabeth waved her off. "I'm tired of talking about it."</p><p>Reyna nodded, "Yeah, okay." She turned on the radio and the rest of the trip was ridden in comfortable semi-silence, one girl starting a conversation that they held for a bit and then them tapering off after a while, then another saying something and starting it all over again.</p><p>Reyna was just glad they were okay.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Saturday was a bittersweet day for everyone because regardless of what had happened on the trip they had bonded and no one wanted to return to the real world. Nico woke up to Percy snoring loudly, his arms wrapped around Nico throughout the whole night. It was a prison of warmth and comfort that he didn't want to be released from as he contemplated the serenity of morning time. The sun was creeping ever so slowly into their room, fingers of light stretching and extending and taming shadows into nothingness as they came. Nico closed his eyes, he was not sleeping, but he was decidedly not entirely prepared to be awake just yet, either.</p><p>The warmth of the sun peeking in on them was entirely different than the shared body heat between himself and Percy. It tingled his skin, burning away any cold and any doubt that the night could bring on and instead replacing it with the sureness and the confidence that was sometimes only found in daybreak.</p><p>He and Percy had talked. They had been talking for a long time.</p><p>About life, about school, about college, about careers, and about dreams.</p><p>Percy wanted to get into a decent college on a swimming scholarship, but ultimately it was his dream to swim in the Olympics. Nico had bashfully informed Percy that he had no idea what he wanted to do. His boyfriend had smirked at that and said, "Probably something in art," Which gave Nico pause. Between Percy and his Dad he was beginning to think people knew something about himself that he did not.</p><p>Either way, Nico hadn't really been thinking about the future. Maintaining the <em>now </em>was hard enough, planning for years down the road seemed impossible. Most of the time he had the difficult task of keeping sane, keeping his emotions in check, while all the while keeping pace with where society thought he should be in life. He was a senior in high school this year, almost seventeen, and it was becoming slowly more apparent that everyone thought he should have his life together by now.</p><p>Decide in your early years where to go with the rest of your life.</p><p>There was that listless ennui his father had talked about. If only he'd brought his sketchbook, maybe he'd listen to the men in his life and try a hand at purposefully drawing.</p><p>It had never really been an aspect of life that he had thought about, art. Most of the time when he was doodling he <em>didn't </em>think about it. It hardly registered in his mind when he was doodling random things, which invariably ended up on a lot of class work. He had taken an art class in his previous year, if only to get the elective, and he had done nominally well but it wasn't something he thought about. He didn't think he was <em>talented</em>, the fact that he could do with a pencil what others could not hadn't seemed like that big of a thing to him.</p><p>Percy's hand ran over the exposed skin of his side and Nico sighed in content. Lips pressed to his shoulder blade, and really he had been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed Percy's snoring had been quit for a good five minutes. Without turning, and really without moving at all, he said, "Good morning," Which earned him another kiss on his shoulder.</p><p>"Good morning, beautiful." Percy's words tickled his ear and he involuntarily smiled. He felt himself being turned around so he assisted in the process and for his troubles he was rewarded with a smile. Helen of Troy probably had a smile like that. So perfectly content, almost demure, yet somehow wry as if the owner of it knew they took your breath away.</p><p>"You're the one who's beautiful," Nico replied, his hand moving across what little space lay between them to touch Percy's face. Stubble and soft skin met his fingertips and Percy leaned into his touch. He heard a voice saying very quietly, "I wish I could wake up like this every morning," Before he realized it his mouth was working o its own, saying exactly what his mind had been thinking.</p><p>Percy's Hellenistic smile became a full-fledged grin. He pulled Nico flush against him, their chests touching, and wrapped his arms around him. "One day we'll wake up like this every morning, and go to sleep like this every night." Percy promised, and he spoke of the future so easily. As if it weren't some gigantic daunting task that he wasn't fully prepared for, or as if he didn't care that he wasn't fully prepared for it.</p><p>Nico believed him when he said it. Nico believed him more than he wanted to, he believed him down to his very soul—which he thought he had gotten rid of so long ago. But it was still there, however small, however dim and flickering in that suffocating darkness that nested inside of him, glowing faintly like a beacon and signaling, unknown to Nico, to this boy across from him. Even after years and with thousands of miles of distance his soul had been broadcasting an SOS, desperate for its mate. Percy did not disappoint there, and Nico knew, he would not disappoint in the future either.</p><p>"I'm in love with you, Percy Jackson." Nico said suddenly. They had talked about loving one another before, said things of a similar nature, it had been implicitly implied that they loved one another, in one fashion or the other, but never had the words been so arranged as I'm love you with you. 'I love you' could have brotherly connotations, familial or friendly or both at the same time. 'I'm in love with you' was different. There was no ambiguity to it, and Nico's brain was telling him that this exact grouping of words was entirely too premature. He felt his heart beating faster as soon as he said it, felt his face growing hotter and his throat growing drier.</p><p>"I'm in love with you too, Nico." Percy replied, kissing him and Nico's world was instantly better. Percy made him feel instantly better. "I am so in love with you. I have always been in love with you ever since you sat down and watched Pokemon with me. You are officially The One."</p><p>Nico wondered if Percy ever truly knew what he was saying, sometimes, or if words just fell out of his mouth like they did Nico's, though he knew that with every fiber of his being that he was in love with Percy, still he said, "The One?"</p><p>"The One I want to be with, for the rest of my life." Nico's heart stopped, it stopped and it jumped out of his chest and slapped him in the face. He didn't even know when he had jumped on top of Percy, or how their mouths had gotten pressed together so hard, but he was straddling Percy's hips, kissing him harder than he had ever kissed anyone in his entire life. Percy was laughing, he realized, which made Nico pull back. "I take it that means you agree with me?"</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "Yes. Now shut up and kiss me you gorgeous bastard."</p><p>But Percy just grinned, "I wanna hear you admit that I'm your 'The One' too." Nico tried to play dirty, he leaned in but Percy leaned back, his grin growing ever larger. "I'm waiting."</p><p>"Jesus Christ," Nico knew he was blushing, even after an admission of love so strong Percy was still Percy. "You are The One, Percy. My One. You're the reason every relationship I've ever had has failed, because not one of those guys could live up to what and who you are. The love of my life. No one, <em>no one </em>in the entire world could ever mean to me what you mean to me, okay? I. Love. You. I love you so much it's scary. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, and I don't know where we'll go or what we'll do, but I know I want to do it with you."</p><p>Percy pushed his forehead against Nico's, smiling from ear to ear, "You're such a softie on the inside," He grinned, nipping at Nico's lips, the younger boy didn't have time to feel embarrassed, "and I feel the exact same way, Nico. I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy. I know you have more trouble than most with emotions, and I'm not always the best with them myself, but when you're with me I want you to be so happy it hurts. I want you to enjoy your life, and not just go through the motions, I want you to be unashamedly yourself, and to be happy with who that person is, because he is a wonderful, beautiful person, Nico. You are the most wonderful person I have ever known and you make me want to be better."</p><p>Nico placed his hands on Percy's chest, feeling the heartbeat underneath. He closed his eyes to memorize its strength, its tempo. "Even knowing how fucked up I can get?" He asked softly.</p><p>"Especially knowing how fucked up you can get." Percy replied. Nico's entire being gushed with joy, it vibrated and thrummed through his veins like too much caffeine. He wasn't sure what to do with his joy, it was more than he had ever experienced in his entire life. "I love you." Percy said.</p><p>"I love you, too." And Nico was grinning, he was grinning like a madman and he couldn't stop himself even if he tried.</p><hr/><p>"Oh, my God." Sadie said, sounding exasperated. "You guys have been staring into each other's eyes since breakfast, can you help us load the car? Puh-lease?"</p><p>"You're not helping, either," Carter remarked as he loaded the trunk with luggage.</p><p>"I'm supervising," Sadie informed him. "It's my job to make sure everyone else does theirs. Besides, I'm still tired from all the sleep I missed." Carter rolled his eyes but cast a glance towards Nico and Percy. They had been speaking in soft voice since everyone had gathered downstairs and had breakfast, they'd barely said a word to anyone else when the group had decided to take one last walk around nature. The two of them had just held hands, looked at each other, and sighed contentedly. Classic case of honeymooning, Carter thought. He didn't mind though, Grover and Juniper were more than helpful in loading things up.</p><p>After their…alone time together the couple had made it clear that they didn't date other people, but that if Carter were ever willing again he might be able to join them once more. The oldest of the group hadn't actually meant to join them the first time around, but life is funny like that sometimes. The girl he loved had found him boring and had moved on, and he had done something so exciting and new that she wouldn't have even recognized him.</p><p>"I think that's everything, unless ya'll want to smoke one last bowl before we go?"</p><p>"Grover, man, there's a difference in smoking occasionally and being a pothead," Carter laughed. Grover just chuckled at that and in a low voice Carter added, "I guess you have to find a way to balance that libido somehow."</p><p>"Damn straight," The taller young man answered. "But I'll good, brother, I promise. This trip has given me exactly what I needed for a few days, rest and relaxation."</p><p>"You didn't do anything but smoke, drink, and have sex the entire time you were here," Sadie pointed out.</p><p>"That's how I relax, sister." Grover grinned.</p><p>"Well if we're done I think we should head out." Carter informed, and despite the fact that Grover was tallest Sadie took the front seat, which was fine with him because he got to sit in the back with Juniper. Percy and Nico got in the car as well, though everyone was sure they wouldn't hear a peep out of them. "This was fun." Carter smiled as he started the engine.</p><p>"Fun? I'm still so unhappy with you, Carter Kane, and you know exactly why."</p><p>"Why are you upset with Carter?" Juniper wondered, Sadie cast a dark eye at the girl in the backseat, "Because you people forgot I was in the room right beside you when you went on your <em>four </em>hour orgy-fest. After I went outside to smoke I finally just went to sleep downstairs in the room Nico had been using before Anna—" Sadie stopped herself, casting a look in the rearview. She was thankful that Percy and Nico was so oblivious at the moment, before she could have made a faux pas, "Anyway, next time you three want to do something like that make sure I am in another state. Another country, preferably."</p><p>Carter seemed to have lost the boldness he had acquired because his ears were red hot, "I told you I forgot you were in there or it wouldn't have happened." He hissed in a whisper. Sadie just looked unimpressed.</p><p>"Just drive, brother dear. I will be happy to see some form of civilization again soon." So Carter drove off, kicking up dirt and gravel as the sun barely hit the middle of the sky, burning brightly as if it knew that soon the colder weather would be coming; for now, though, it was Summer and things weren't perfect but they were pretty damn close.</p><p>When they arrived back at Nico's house it was closer to evening than noon. A girl was seated on the front steps wearing sandals, a floral print long skirt, and an airy blouse. Her hair was pulled over her left shoulder and she looked very comfortable with a thick book in her lap.</p><p>"Who's that?" Sadie wondered, which made Nico look up expecting to see his mother or father.</p><p>"Bianca?" Nico wondered, disentangling himself from Percy as the vehicle came to a stop. "B!" He got out of the car and as Bianca looked up they could see the striking resemblance between brother and sister immediately. She had the same dark hair as Nico, though hers was grown just past her shoulder, but everything else was almost completely similar. Bianca had curves, where as Nico was skinny as a board, but they were both slender, and they both had the same wide set to their eyes, petulant and full mouths, olive skin.</p><p>Bianca smiled as she saw Nico and she stood, her feet bare. She hugged him tightly and they watched in muted astonishment as Nico showed his open affection for the girl. They were more than used to his biting sarcasm, his sort of dark form of flirting, but even Percy had never seen Nico openly affectionate. "What're you doing here?" Nico asked, clearly happy to see her.</p><p>"Summer's school's out, li'l bro." She smirked, keeping an arm around his shoulder. "After a few throwing a few too many parties at home I decided to come spend what's left of my vacation out here with you guys. Plus I have a few old friends I've been dying to talk to." Nico just smiled, he hadn't expected to be so overjoyed to see her but he was and he didn't mind. "You look good," She said, her eyes turning serious for a moment. "How are things?"</p><p>Nico unconsciously turned and looked at Percy, who was watching them, before he answered. "Things are good." Bianca didn't miss his backward glance but kept quiet. "Things are going really good."</p><p>"How's your new doctor?" When her brother's mouth thinned she knew now wasn't the time to discuss these kinds of things. She squeezed his shoulder, "We'll talk about it later," The others stepped out of the vehicle and Bianca followed Nico down to greet them. "These are your friends?" She wondered and Nico nodded. "So you're the rowdy group that kidnapped my little brother. Our Dad wasn't too happy with all the cars left in his driveway." Just like that they were scolded, even Grover looked away. "But," Bianca grinned, "I told him he'd get over it. It's not like you guys blocked anyone in."</p><p>Nico just shook his head, "She has Dad's sense of humor."</p><p>"You're one to talk," Bianca nudged him with an elbow. Percy was almost jealous of their camaraderie. It had taken him the greater part of the Summer to get Nico to open up. Given, Bianca was his sister, and Percy had known her for a long time, but that really wasn't an excuse. "Percy Jackson, as I live and breathe." Bianca smiled at him next, as if she knew he had been thinking about her, "My, you have grown up <em>very</em> well."</p><p>Nico disentangled himself from his sister and was standing in front of Percy in the next moment, "Claimed." He said. "Get your own."</p><p>Bianca's eyebrow rose slightly but found its place again, "I should have known." She laughed, "You two always were very close. Well the least you can do is give me a hug, Jackson. Don't pretend like we weren't friends, once." Percy smiled at her and hugged her but when he moved to let her go he found her arms like a vice around him as she whispered in his ear. "<em>If you hurt my little brother again I will personally castrate and then murder you, just so you know.</em>" She said in a quick breath of heat,"<em>That's</em> <em>not a threat</em>, <em>it's a promise</em>." When she let him go she was smiling as if she hadn't just whispered murder in his ears. Percy swallowed, "God, it's good to see you again." She said petting his arm, smiling the friendliest smile she could manage. "Who are these other people, Nico?"</p><p>"Sadie, Carter, Juniper, and Grover, this is my sister Bianca." Nico introduced.</p><p>"It isn't fair how pretty the two of you are," Sadie said looking bemused.</p><p>Bianca laughed, "What are you talking about? You're very pretty," She petted the girl's cheek, "All of you are. Wow, good job Nico. You don't go in for ugly friends?"</p><p>"It's against my policy, really." Nico smirked.</p><p>"So you're Carter," Carter nodded, "Is he claimed?"</p><p>"No, but he's not really your type." Nico replied, Carter flushed.</p><p>"What's her type?" But as soon as the words came out of his mouth his ears were red.</p><p>Nico laughed, "Usually she likes boys she can mold, ones that'll worship the ground she walks on and come to her beck and call. I'm trying to save you, Carter, work with me."</p><p>"He always ruins my fun," Bianca smirked. "Unless you like that sort of thing? It <em>has</em> been a while since anyone's worshipped the ground I walk on."</p><p>"Bianca, no. Carter is too nice and sweet a guy for you."</p><p>"After this trip there is nothing nice about my brother," Sadie commented, Bianca seemed to wonder at that but didn't remark on it.</p><p>She simply shrugged. "Juniper and Grover, right?" The couple nodded, "I'll remember. You guys have really great timing, I just put some brownies in about twenty minutes ago, they should be done soon."</p><p>"I may be in love with the di Angelos," Grover said with a smirk.</p><p>"You would be a fool not to be." Bianca replied starting up the steps. "Come on in, everybody. I'll order a pizza if you guys are hungry and we'll snack on the brownies till it gets here. I'm thinking one meat lovers and maybe one vegetable, you strike me as the vegetarian type Juniper."</p><p>"I—" Juniper nodded, "Well, I do eat meat, but sparingly. That would be great, actually." She grinned widely. Bianca nodded, turning and heading up the stairs. "I think <em>I </em>might be in love with her."</p><p>"As you should be!" Bianca's voice called from the house as the others shuffled in, Nico just smirked and followed everyone inside.</p><p>After another thirty minutes the pizzas arrived, in that time Grover and Percy had gone to Percy's house and retrieved his game console. "I told you Just Dance would come in handy, brother-man." Grover was grinning, watching Juniper dance off against Nico, the poor boy was struggling. He bit into the vegetable and cheese pizza happily munching away.</p><p>"This is the first time this game has ever been played, up till this point I had no need for it." Percy replied, he watched his boyfriend's attempts at dancing and he had to stop himself from cooing. Nico was unknowingly adorable, and especially funny the way he floundered around trying to mimic the screen.</p><p>"Brother, its fate has been leading up to this point, obviously." Grover continued on. "My girl is <em>crushing </em>Nico, Perce. You're going to have to show that boy how to cut a rug."</p><p>Bianca laughed, settling onto the couch beside Grover with a brownie in her hands. "Like that'll happen. Nico was born with two backwards left feet."</p><p>"Fuck you too, B," Nico replied, not even looking over his shoulder.</p><p>"Forty-five minutes back and he's lost all love for me." She grinned, biting into her brownie she jumped up and handed it to Nico. "Mosey along, I'll finish you out." Her brother, who hid his thankful expression by stuffing the whole sweet morsel into his mouth, moved to walk away. "Way to impress your boyfriend with that big mouth of yours," Bianca called over her shoulder as he moved to sit on the couch. Suddenly he regretted stuffing his mouth, he couldn't insult her back and he nearly choked.</p><p>"It is an impressive mouth," Percy grinned, putting an arm over Nico's shoulder. "I should know earlier he—"</p><p>"Ah! No! Don't want to hear about it," Bianca tossed Percy a look that could kill before jumping into the game she'd made Nico abandon. It was apparent at once that she was a phenomenally better dancer than him.</p><p>"What—" Hades walked into the living room, keys and a portfolio in hand.</p><p>"Hey Dad," Bianca and Nico said simultaneously.</p><p>"My house is full of children." Their father replied, Maria came around him and set a few things on the side table. "Bianca, my only daughter, flower of my life, why is my house full of other people's children?"</p><p>"Well, firstly," Bianca spun in a finishing move, the screen proclaiming her the winner of the round. "They're more teenagers than children, and second, they're your son's friends. I invited them in, chill."</p><p>Hades' face remained impassive, "I've been told to "chill" four times in the past twenty-four hours and you have yet to inform me from what I am to become cool towards."</p><p>"Towards that stubbornness of yours, Dad." Bianca planted a kiss on her father's reluctantly accepting cheek. His posture changed slightly.</p><p>"She's not wrong, dear, chilling might do you some good." Maria commented. Hades cast an eye at his wife but remained quiet. "From all the pizza boxes I'm going to guess you found that money we left you, and that everyone's eaten?" She asked.</p><p>"Yup." Bianca answered. "Thank you, by the way."</p><p>Maria smiled and patted her daughter's cheek, "You're very welcome." Then she turned to the other teenagers in her house, and Carter. "I suppose that means I don't have to cook?" She wondered, "Because really I had planned on opening a bottle of wine and finishing the day with my husband upstairs."</p><p>Nico's face wrinkled, "Oh, God. Did you really just say that?"</p><p>Maria rolled her eyes, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Nico. Your father and I are sharing a bottle of wine because he took me on a lovely date and it is way good end to a good day," She said dropping a kiss on his head, then one on Percy's. "Hello, dear."</p><p>"Hi, Maria." Percy smiled.</p><p>"You two look cozy," She said eyeing their intertwined fingers, "Where's Annabeth?"</p><p>"<em>MOM</em>!" Nico growled.</p><p>Percy ran a thumb over Nico's knuckles soothingly. "She's probably at home, or with her best friend Reyna. She and I broke up." Percy said.</p><p>"And you're rebounding with my son?" Hades asked, stepping further into the living room.</p><p>"Oh, my God! <em>Dad</em>! Seriously, will you two leave him alone?"</p><p>"He's not a rebound," Percy said, ignoring Nico's protests and simply rubbing soothing circles into the other boy's hand. "I…I told Annabeth that I was gay and that I couldn't be with her because I liked Nico and she broke up with me." He said.</p><p>Hades rolled his eyes, "Oh, hell." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Before Nico could ask what that was for money exchanged hands between his mother and father.</p><p>"Yes!" Maria exclaimed dropping another kiss on Percy's head. "Thank you, sweetie." She grinned.</p><p>Nico was quiet for a moment, looking between his parents. "Were you two betting on when Percy and I would get together?" He asked after a moment, horrified.</p><p>"Sweetheart, betting sounds terrible. We had a…small wager of fifty dollars that you two would either end up together before the summer was up or not at all because one of you was too afraid to make the move."</p><p>"Mom, that's a bet."</p><p>Maria had the good grace to laugh, "Oh, dear, is it?" She wondered pocketing the money. "I think I'll go check on that wine." With that she slipped away into the kitchen.</p><p>"You couldn't have texted him after we got back to California pouring out all your feelings, Perseus?" Hades wondered before shaking his head and following after his wife. "Try a little romance next time!" He shouted from the hallway.</p><p>"I think I'm in love with your parents, Nico." Sadie called from the floor.</p><p>"Will everyone stop falling in love with members of my family!" Nico exclaimed with a hand on his face, color risen high on his cheek from embarrassment. Percy just squeezed him against his body, patting Nico's shoulder.</p><p>"There, there, Nicky. At least <em>I </em>still love you."</p><p>A loud, "YES!" Could be heard from the kitchen.</p><p>"Fucking hell, Percy!" Hades growled.</p><p>Bianca chuckled, "They had another bet going to see if you'd say you loved him," She explained. Nico sank further into the couch, hoping against all hope that it would swallow him, and Percy was the one to blush this time.</p><p>"Are there any other bets I should know about?" Nico asked.</p><p>"About your love life, or other aspects of your life in general?" His sister wondered.</p><p>Nico opened his mouth and then closed it, repeating the process a number of times simply because he wasn't sure how to answer that. He looked very much like a surprised wide-mouthed bass. "You know what?" He decided. "I just don't even care."</p><p>"Okay," Bianca said, "But can you guys please not get caught doing it in the house between now and the thirtieth? Because I may or may not have a horse in this race."</p><p>Nico just stared at his sister, his mouth a thin line, "Why did you even come back?" He nearly growled.</p><p>"To win some cash, obviously, little brother." She replied with a smile. Nico rolled his eyes again and hide behind the bulk of Percy for the rest of the time his friends were in his home.</p><hr/><p> </p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Nico, I did always expect a little more out of you." Dr. Kirshbaum sat back in her usual chair, her hair done in its normal bun, her eyes shining darkly, her mouth turned downward. "Sometimes, when you speak, I forget that you are still a teenager. Sometimes I hear so much world-weariness, so much experience and intelligence that I forget just how young you are." She looked down at the clipboard in her hands, her black eyes searching the paper. Nico wasn't sure what he had expected. It wasn't like he and his therapist had left on good terms, wasn't like she hadn't been disappointed in him last session either. He just thought after this weekend she would have seen how happy he was. "It's not that." She said. Nico realized he'd been speaking out loud, he clamped his mouth shut after that. "I'm not disappointed in you, but more so in myself because I thought you were…different, I suppose. Different from other clients of mine, from the other young men and women I've had under my care. I suppose that was a lot of faith to have in you."</p><p>"What did I do wrong this time?" He asked, shrugging downward to sag in his seat.</p><p>She looked up at him, her gaze sharp, her lips pursed together before she answered, "It's Percy." She finally said. "I thought…I'm glad you've found happiness, Nico, but you have to know that if you can't be happy outside of a relationship that the brief, fleeting joy you find in one can't last. You're almost seventeen, you have so much of life ahead of you, so much to discover about yourself, about who you are and about who you're going to be. But, it is the folly of the youthful to be so singularly focused. You think true love fixes everything, and that's admirable, but I just wish you would have thought of the consequences more."</p><p>Nico looked at the doctor, and for once there was compassion written over her face. It wasn't sympathy, nothing so insulting, but it was like she understood. "Are you speaking from experience?" Nico wondered and she gave him a look he couldn't exactly interpret. She sat up straight with her shoulders back.</p><p>It was a moment before she answered, but to his surprise she did, "Yes." She said. "When I was around your age I fell in love with a man and I thought he hung the stars themselves. After a while he loved me as well, but we were so very young. I became pregnant, twins, and when they were born he was nowhere to be seen." Lupa sighed, wringing her hands together, "I left the babies with my mother. I couldn't look at them. I know now that it was post-partum depression, coupled with the sadness and anxiety of him leaving me, and an ill-preparedness to be a mother at such an age. I did things, worse things than you have I'm sure, and for a long time I was broken. We…" She paused, her eyes fixed on Nico. "We all want someone who is able to fix us, Nico, but sometimes we have to fix ourselves. Sometimes, no matter how hard, no matter how much the world hates us, how much life weighs on our shoulders, we have to push ourselves back up.</p><p>"I didn't do it immediately. God knows it took me years, but I eventually found myself down to my very last dollar, living out of a man's house who thought he could show love with his fists as much as his kisses. I looked at myself one day, both eyes black and blue and with bruises all over my face and body, and I just knew, knew that not everything could be fixed by friends or family or even by love. I wanted you to work with me this Summer, I wanted you to learn to take value in yourself, in the life you live, but I was too lenient on you. I took your hurt and mistook it for weakness, like a lot of people in your life seem to. I could have pushed you more, made more of an appearance, annoyed you more. I know I annoyed the hell out of you," A small, wry smile twisted her lips, "But I wanted you to get it. I'll keep in mind from now on that sometimes a more straightforward approach would work best." She leaned forward, "You are perhaps one of the brightest young people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, Nico. Which is why I have disappointed myself: because I could never get you to see what I wanted you to see. So in the vein of straightforwardness I'm going to give you a few tidbits of last advice, okay?"</p><p>Nico nodded and watching her now he wondered how long he had ignored that understanding glint in her eyes. Wondered how long she had seemed to <em>get </em>him without even addressing what had made him depressed and listless in the first place.</p><p>"What you need to do is always understand that other people might let you down, but that to err is human." She began, "You need to know that you aren't perfect, and you won't ever be, and that you <em>will </em>make mistakes. You'll make so many mistakes you'll think something is wrong with you, but that that is a part of growing up. You need to understand that not everyone in authority knows what they're talking about and you need to know that only <em>you </em>know what is best for you, even if your therapist tries her hardest to help. You need to know that sometimes it is okay to take advice from others, that to need help isn't weak, and that above all else: you do <em>not</em>need Percy, or any other person in the world to find happiness. Happiness is something you enjoy working for, and sometimes that is people, but you shouldn't let them become everything. You're too smart and too talented for something like that.</p><p>"I want you to promise me that you will dream, Nico. Dream of big things, even if they seem impossible. I want you to promise me that whenever you feel yourself becoming depressed you won't immediately reach for an instrument of self-harm, but maybe that you will reach for an instrument of creativity: pen, an instrument of the musical variety, a book, something. Because you deserve so much more than mediocre, so much more than pain and the dull tide of apathy brought on by pills and alcohol. I truly believe that. Can you promise me that you'll think about all of these things?"</p><p>Nico blinked, sitting up, "Why does it sound like you're telling me good-bye?" He wondered suspiciously, and surprised himself by feeling saddened by the thought of it.</p><p>"My services were only needed until your parents felt you were better, Nico. You are better, and maybe Percy is the reason, but keep in mind that if you don't love yourself you will have trouble truly loving another person." She sat back again. "So can you promise? I've made up a sheet of things I asked of you for you to take with you. But before I dismiss you I have to know if you're ready to try living life and not just going through the motions?"</p><p>"I—" This was different than when his other psyches let him go. He hadn't grown fond of Kirshbaum, he couldn't say he liked her, or that she had been his favorite person but he respected her. He respected that every time he came back to her office she hadn't given up on him. Every time. He respected that she met his apathy with steely, flippant resolve. Knocking down his childish insults with cold logic that was sometimes harsh, "I can promise that I'll try."</p><p>She smiled then, it wasn't one of those gentle smiles, or even a friendly smile, but it wasn't cold either. She smiled like someone who knew his heart, "That's all I can ask, then. Your parents will be in the waiting room. It has been a pleasure." Unsure Nico stood, usually now was the time they shook hands, or even sometimes hugged, but Lupa didn't move. Her eyes trailed back down to her clipboard and her charge could only shrug.</p><p>He turned towards the door, "And Mr. di Angelo?" Nico turned towards the door, "Take care. If I hear from any of my many esteemed colleagues that you are in therapy again I will personally take your case, pro bono, just to slap some sense into you again."</p><p>Nico smiled then because Lupa was so much like him he couldn't help but. How had he not seen it before? "I don't make any promises." He grinned, "And don't be disappointed in yourself. You really did help me, especially here." He let go of the door and turned to her, "I'm going to take your advice. I'm going to keep trying to be better, not because of Percy, but for me. I guess you really are America's leading child psychologist." Her lips turned up once before she turned back to her paperwork and shooed him out of the office. He hadn't expected anything else.</p><p>When he opened the door his parents were there like she said they would be, Bianca was standing beside them. But, there were three other people there as well. Nico's grip tightened on the door and he stared with unbelieving eyes. "Frankie?" How could he not call Frank first? The big lug was standing there with a cake and a smile towering over everyone but Nico's father. "Rachel? Leo?"</p><p>"Glad you threw me in there, I was starting to feel like chopped liver." Leo said, Rachel elbowed him. "I mean, surprise!"</p><p>The others chuckled at that, "Surprise!" They said as a group this time.</p><p>Nico felt his eyes itching as he came towards them, unsure if he were dreaming or if he were awake. "How did you—when did you—?"</p><p>"We came last night with Bianca, but your Dad said we couldn't crash at your place." Leo said. Nico eyed his father, who shrugged.</p><p>"The condition of him and your Mom keeping an eye on us was that my Dad provided us with a hotel room." Rachel grinned, "But what does any of that matter, we're here!" She threw her arms over his neck and hugged him and Nico realized he had missed her more than he thought. She smelled like Summer and sunshine and happiness and he hugged her tightly, trying to push back the itching at his eyes with little success.</p><p>"I can't believe you guys are here." He said moving on to Leo, who hugged him back fiercely. Turning he saw Frank hand the cake off to a bashful looking Carter in Transformers scrubs today. "Frankie..." He said again with a watery smile. Frank's bulk came forward, lifting Nico into the air.</p><p>Hades cleared his throat and Nico had to stop himself from chattering excitedly, "We…I'm glad everyone's happy to see everyone else. Your mother wants me to tell you that there is cake and ice cream at the house and that she's—" Maria elbowed him hard, "that <em>we're </em>proud of you for seeing this all the way through."</p><p>"We've <em>also </em>been thinking that it was about time you got your licenses." His mother chimed in.</p><p>Nico felt his mouth working before his brain, "You—no!"</p><p>Maria smiled, "Yes, but you have to study for the test, and you do not get the car whenever you want it, and if your grades slip below C's we're taking it away from you."</p><p>Leo's whisper was loud when he said to Carter, "Doesn't he have to have a permit before he can get his licenses?" The legion of glares he received had him putting his hands in the air, "Okay, semantics, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He laughed, and Nico laughed and Maria hugged him, and really for the first time in a long time he felt whole. "Are you going to cry? I mean, I would have missed us too,"</p><p>"I freaking hate you, Valdez," Nico laughed out a sob and hugged Leo again.</p><p>"I love you too, Neeks." Leo said in his ear, carding his tinkering fingers through Nico's hair.</p><hr/><p>"I want to meet him, you should invite him over here." Rachel was saying around a whipped cream covered strawberry. Their hotel room was unreal, three connected bedrooms, Jacuzzi, and a view of NYC that Nico was seriously jealous of. He had forgotten how pretty the city was at night, he hadn't properly gotten a good view of it since his friend-date with Carter, and that seemed a lifetime ago.</p><p>At the moment they were talking about the things they had missed in each other's lives. Rachel, as it turns out, had been the stalwart one of them. Enduring family vacations, reunions, and every number of activity that one could. But, it was good for her, she said. She and her Dad had spent a lot of time together, even if it was also spent with her stepmother and her brats, and she hadn't exactly hated it.</p><p>"You loved every minute of daddy time you got," Frank had laughed and she hadn't denied it.</p><p>Frank, who was constantly looking at his phone with a huge grin, had started dating a girl named Hazel Levesque. He assured Nico that they would get along, and that sometimes she reminded Frank so strongly of Nico it was eerie.</p><p>"I knew you wanted to date him, Zhang. He would have totally let you, too. You guys would have been a cute couple," Rachel retorted. Their little back-and-forth was still the same as usual Nico was glad to see.</p><p>"She gets me," Frank told him and the others. "She…I freaked out once, I was having one of my bad days, and I told her I couldn't come see her. She showed up at my house, barged past <em>Baba</em> and went right to my room like she knew the whole house scheme. She came baring ice-cream and Pixar movies."</p><p>"If you two ever break-up let me know, sounds like a catch," Rachel grinned.</p><p>Frank ignored her pointedly, "Grandma didn't even bat an eyelash at there being a girl in my room, she came in and then her and Hazel left to her office to talk."</p><p>"God, that doesn't sound good," Nico sat on Rachel's bed with his knees pulled against his chest.</p><p>"I didn't think it was, but they came back into my room fifteen minutes later laughing like best friends. It was a little jarring, I've never seen <em>Baba </em>laugh at or with anyone before. She told us to have a good time, <em>closed the door</em>, and we didn't hear from her the rest of the day. It was freaky, Nicky." Nico blushed, a recent memory of '<em>Nicky</em>' being whispered into his ear, moaned into his ear. A bursting of sweet, hot breath, then the feel of soft but chapped lips against him.</p><p>"You're thinking about sex."</p><p>"WHAT!" Nico looked up at Leo, scandalized.</p><p>Leo shrugged, "Your face is doing the thing when you're thinking about something you don't want us to know you're thinking about, and it's usually sex stuff."</p><p>Nico felt his cheeks turning red, "My face does not do a 'thing' Leo." He growled.</p><p>"Rachel?" Leo looked over at the red-haired girl.</p><p>"It kind of goes all dreamy, and you bite your lip a little."</p><p>"I DON'T HAVE A FACE THING!" Nico shouted, throwing a pillow at Leo, who caught it with a smile.</p><p>"Nicky, you have a face thing." Frank said, and if Frank said it Nico knew it had to be true. "Thinking about Percy?"</p><p>Nico sighed, "We haven't even had sex. I've been really good with him."</p><p>"I'll bet you sucked his dick." This time Leo didn't have the reflexes to catch the pillow hurled at his head. It hit him so hard he fell off the end of the bed. "That's a yes." He said from the floor. Rachel laughed, dipping a strawberry in whipped cream.</p><p>Which is how they got to this point in the night.</p><p>"I want to meet him," She said, taking a bite of the strawberry, "you should invite him over."</p><p>"I've only seen pictures of him. Facebook stalked him a little." Leo sat up. "I would make fun of you for dating a jock, but…"</p><p>"But you would never be that big of a hypocrite." Nico finished.</p><p>"You think he'd let Jason borrow some of those speedos? For purely academic purposes, mind you." The curly-haired, pointy eared boy got back on the bed. "I'm totally down for meeting him though, I second Rachel's suggestion."</p><p>"It wasn't really a suggestion." Rachel grinned.</p><p>Nico knew Frank would leave the decision up to him and not really voice his—"You should call him and see what he's doing. I think he'd like to meet all of your new best friends."</p><p>"Et tu, Frankie?" Nico sighed. Frank just grinned his big, ole adorable smile that Nico couldn't resist. He sighed, flinging himself back on the bed and pulling his phone out of his pocket. "He's probably busy with Grover, or he might be swimming."</p><p>"It's ten-thirty at night."</p><p>"Yeah," Nico said as the phone rang, "I meant he might be swimming <em>still</em>."</p><p>Leo looked as if he had something to say about that but Nico missed it, "<em>Hey</em>, <em>gorgeous</em>." His heart stopped at little and he felt his knees drawing closer to his chest. Someone laughed at him but he ignored them.</p><p>"Hi, Percy." He felt himself grinning stupidly and he couldn't stop it.</p><p>"<em>What's up</em>, <em>babe</em>? <em>Still with your friends</em>, <em>or are you waiting on me to scale the house to climb into bed with you</em>?" Nico's face had to be Valentine's red by now, he chanced looking up and Rachel was just smirking at him with her dumb face. He looked away from her, but found the same expression on Leo's face. He didn't want to look at Frank, afraid his only true friend's betrayal was still fresh. Instead he leaned on him, taking note that Frank must have been working out because instead of just baby fat there was actually muscle in his arms too.</p><p>"I'm still with them," He said, "but they kind of wanted to meet you, but if you're busy we'll understand. In fact, you really don't have to come over. We're not at my house, we're in their hotel room and you've probably got swim practice or something in the morning right?"</p><p>"<em>What</em>?" Percy laughed. "<em>Nicky</em>,<em> I will never be too busy or tired to hang out with you. I'm putting my shoes on now</em>, <em>just send me the address</em>."</p><p>Nico felt his grin growing shakily, "You weren't busy?"</p><p>"<em>Well</em>, <em>really</em>, <em>I just got out of the shower</em>." Percy replied, his voice low, "<em>You were on my mind a lot in there</em>."</p><p>Nico's throat went dry and he swallowed, he heard Leo say something but it just didn't register, "I was?"</p><p>Percy laughed, "<em>It's hard to </em>not<em> think about you</em>, <em>Nico</em>. <em>In the shower</em>, <em>in bed</em>, <em>anywhere</em>."</p><p>Someone tapped his shoulder, he looked up and remembered that he was leaning on Frank, "Do you and the phone need a moment, or is it just too hot in here for you? You look like you're going to have a heat stroke, Nico."</p><p>Nico sat up feeling flushed and Rachel opened a window, where an opportune breeze blew in cooling him off a bit which he was grateful. "Sorry," He said to them.</p><p>"No, it's okay. The 'D' has been known to cause strokes before." Leo grinned, "Actually, I know all about stroking the—"</p><p>"<em>So are you going to send me the address</em>?" Percy asked in his other ear.</p><p>"Yeah, address and hotel room. We'll see you in about twenty?"</p><p>"<em>With good driving</em>, <em>so it'll be more like ten</em>, <em>probably</em>." Percy replied and Nico laughed. "<em>You spending the night with them</em>? <em>I can understand if you are</em>."</p><p>Nico thought about that, "I don't know, maybe. If I am you can sleep on the couch with me, if you want to."</p><p>He could hear Percy grinning, "<em>Totally</em>. <em>Okay</em>, <em>getting the keys now</em>. <em>I'll be there soon</em>. <em>I love you</em>."</p><p>"I love you too," Nico said before thinking about it and he hung up the phone, he quickly sent Percy the address and hotel room number. When he looked back up three pairs of eyes were on him. "What?"</p><p>"You guys are serious," Rachel said.</p><p>Nico looked down at the duvet, "Well, yeah." He said bashfully. "Why wouldn't we be?"</p><p>"I've just never seen you serious with a guy before." Rachel said. "I don't know, I thought you were dating Percy to make your parents mad for bringing you back here. I didn't expect you to be blushing and lovey-dovey. You didn't even blush when Octavian went into graphic details about your sex life that one time at Noel Erickson's party, remember?"</p><p>"You mean when he got so drunk he tried to get me to suck his dick in the pool in front of the very few people at school who didn't think I was some kind of slut? Yes, Rachel. I remember that vividly." Nico replied with his head in his hands.</p><p>"Wasn't that the same party he pissed in the pool?" Nico sank further into the bed.</p><p>"God, what did you even see in Octavian?"</p><p>"Aside from his big dick," Leo interjected. "Because that can only excuse so much. Speaking of which, how big is Percy's—"</p><p>"O and I worked because he was as spoiled as I am depressed, and we just sort of fed into each other's bullshit." Nico told her, cutting his eyes at Leo who just smiled. "I don't know, he was really sweet sometimes, and really nasty other times. He hated you guys, told me you guys were too young for me to be hanging out with."</p><p>"Disregarding the fact that he's twenty-four or something like that?" Frank asked.</p><p>"Something like that," Nico said, leaning on him again. "Do not bring up Octavian when Percy gets here. He knows about O, but he doesn't know how bad it really was."</p><p>Frank patted his shoulder, "We didn't travel all this way to make thing awkward between you guys."</p><p>"Speak for yourself," Leo grinned maliciously.</p><p>"I swear to God if you embarrass me I will tell him and everyone else here about that time you and I were at the movie theater after we'd gotten that Thai food in the mall that upset your stomach and you—"</p><p>"Jesus Christ, Nico! We said we would never speak of that day again." Leo had leapt the not-so-small distance across the large bed to clamp his hand down on Nico's mouth. "I will be a model citizen, I promise. Jeez, tell a few jokes and suddenly your best friend is blackmailing you."</p><p>"I find that it helps me get what I want." Nico smirked.</p><p>"And all this time I thought it was your dazzling personality." Leo answered flatly.</p><p>"Really it's my chiseled good looks that draws them in, the personality that interests them, and the criminally incriminating blackmail that makes them stay." Rachel and Frank laughed and Leo couldn't help but smile.</p><p>About ten minutes later Nico got a text on his phone, <em>I'm in the elevator</em>, <em>see you in a sec</em>. And he wasn't sure why his heart was doing flips in his chest. He had seen Percy almost every day for a while now, but that didn't stop the butterflies in his stomach.</p><p>"You guys have got to promise me you'll behave." He said. "I have no doubt Frank will be okay, but it's you two I'm worried about."</p><p>Rachel shrugged, "No, it's cool. I already had a background check done on him so I'm not worried about it."</p><p>"You did what—" But then there was a knock on the door. Nico would have stood to answer it if Leo wasn't already at the door, smiling way too widely for his face. Nico groaned as the door was opened.</p><p>"We didn't order any room service." Leo said with a grin.</p><p>"Actually I'm—" But Leo mimed shutting the door and Nico was behind him in the next moment.</p><p>"<em>Food poisoning</em>." He whispered in the slightly shorter boy's ear. Leo moved out of the way, still smiling. "I'm sorry. We're having him checked for mental deficiencies. Like the lack of a brain."</p><p>Percy laughed and smiled at him, and it was the first time Nico had seen him all day. His black hair was windswept, curling at the sides slightly. His blue-green eyes were shining brightly, and his mouth looked so delicious Nico found himself wetting his own lips. "I'm sure he's brainy enough if you graced him with your friendship," Percy replied and Nico realized his own mind had gone blank. Speaking of brain deficiencies.</p><p>"Are you going to invite the poor boy in or eye-fuck him all night, Nico?" Rachel wondered and Nico stepped back, realizing that he had been blocking Percy from entering. His boyfriend laughed again, the sound of an angel, and leaned down quickly pecking Nico on the lips. Nico smirked then, kissing him back, beckoning for more than just a quick kiss. Rachel cleared her throat and Nico chuckled.</p><p>"<em>Thanks for coming</em>," He whispered quietly to Percy, who he realized was carrying a bag with a Chinese symbol on it.</p><p>Percy whispered back, "<em>I wanted to see you</em>, <em>so you're welcome</em>." Then he came into the room and Nico closed the door behind him. He cast a glance over his shoulder as his boyfriend came around and then said, "Hi, I'm Percy." With a smile, hefting the bag he was carrying up he continued, "I come bearing takeout in hopes that you guys won't grill me too hard."</p><p>"I'm sold." Leo said with a smile, going over to the bag and pulling out a box of rice and chicken.</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes and Percy smirked, "Percy," Nico said, "This is Leo,"</p><p>"His <em>best</em> bestfriend." Leo replied as he searched for soy sauce.</p><p>"That's Rachel,"</p><p>Rachel waved from her chair, "I can see why Nico ditched us." She grinned, "Thumbs up, Nico. I give him a ten out of ten. Would totally bang." Nico glared at her, but she just giggled at him—she never giggled so he only glared more.</p><p>Ignoring her and the redness on Percy's cheeks he said, "And this is Frank," Frank stood up and Nico wasn't surprised to find he was slightly taller than Percy. Frank's face was set in a slight grimace which didn't become his normally cheerful face. Nico cleared his throat, "This is Frank who won't be trying to intimidate you." He clarified and the look on Frank's face softened slightly.</p><p>He extended a hand, "Nice to finally meet you," Percy shook his hand once but they didn't release. If anything it looked like their hands were only tightening around one another's. Suddenly it became a grip contest and Nico watched in annoyance as their knuckles whitened and their forearms flexed. When he opened his mouth to tell them to stop Frank chuckled, "Dang, Percy, you're a lot stronger than you look."</p><p>"Yeah, it's from carrying around so much take-out food, it's the only way to keep in shape." Percy replied. Frank laughed again. Nico sighed inwardly; Frank was always protective of him when it came to guys. He had, on multiple occasions, offered to beat Octavian. Which was sweet really, considering Frank's hatred of violence, but he always said if it was to set some guy who hurt Nico straight then it was for a good cause.</p><p>Then Nico's happy mood almost went crashing down around his ears, "So, who wants to tell me the first embarrassing story about my boyfriend?" When three hands flew into the air his gaze became hard.</p><p>"I have dirt on each and every one of you, betray me and I will go to your significant others," He looked at Rachel, "and as for you I will tell your stepbrothers about that time we were at the carnival and you made-out with that carnie—"</p><p>"Alright, first of all he wasn't a carnie, he was a ticket seller and you even said he was cute." Rachel glared, "Secondly, just for that I'm going to tell Percy about the time we were in Mr. Palmer's class and you dropped that vial of mild acid on your pants and it started eating away at them and you had to come out of all of your clothes and get thrown under that emergency shower. You should have seen him, Percy, trying to hide all of his front bits," Nico's cheeks flamed, "He has such a cute little ass, it was even cuter considering he was red from head to toe with all that blushing. After that the janitor brought him clothes to borrow from the lost and found, he had to wear them the rest of the day."</p><p>"And that's why the science department doesn't allow us to use anything with acidic properties anymore." Leo added. "Which is a shame really."</p><p>"Do you two really want to do this?" Nico asked both of them, his voice nearly a growl. "Because we can talk about that time—" But Percy's laugh was too distracting for Nico to go on. He stared over at his boyfriend who was wiping at his eyes.</p><p>"I was just kidding about the stories," He chuckled, "I'm afraid if I don't stop you guys right now you'll go for the rest of the night."</p><p>"You have no idea," Leo said opening another box of Chinese.</p><p>"Hey, hey! Leave some for the rest of us," Frank grabbed the box out of his hands and Leo rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. Percy smiled at them and came over to Nico, putting his arms around him. Suddenly this night seemed like the best idea he had had in a long while.</p><p>
  <strong>24 24 24</strong>
</p><p>He and Percy passed out on the couch at around four that morning, after a long night of board games, cards, movies, and more food. It warmed Nico to his very bones that Percy and his friends got on so well, and it was, he realized, something he had been subconsciously worrying about since they had started dating.</p><p>Despite the history between them he couldn't be with Percy if his friends didn't like him, or if they couldn't at least pretend to like him. They had outright told him how much they hated Octavian and he had shouted at them that they should just be happy for him, and they had quieted and it had ended in disaster.</p><p>Nico's arms tightened around Percy's waist. Percy was nothing like Octavian. Percy was kind, and he was sweet, and not the same boy he used to be but he had kept all the parts of that boy that Nico had ever loved. He thought about the letter Percy had written that Sally had given him.</p><p>'<em>I don't know if you're still the same kid you were</em>.' It had read, and he wasn't sure of that either. He only hoped that all the parts of him were the parts Percy had always liked too. Their lives up until this point had been almost surreal, Nico knew. He thought about Kirshbaum's word next, '<em>You don't need Percy</em>, <em>or anyone else to be happy</em>.' That was a mantra he knew he would have to memorize, and he knew it was true, but he also didn't want to be happy without Percy. He had made a promise, though, and being apart from Percy over this next school year didn't mean that they were without each other.</p><p>He also thought about himself at the beginning of the year and about himself now and how he was still the same but different at the same time. He wasn't magically cured, and he knew that it would take work but he wanted to be better. If for no other sake than the sake of <em>being better</em>.</p><p>Yawning Nico felt sleep cover him like a blanket, and his mind began to quiet, his thoughts ebbing away like receding waters on a shore. He yawned once, curled his legs through Percy's and couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. Soon his conscious was only aware of warmth and comfort.</p><hr/><p> </p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was raining when Nico was boarding the plane to go back to California; a hot, dirty, drizzling New York summer rain that could have lasted five minutes or could have lasted five hours. He stared out the window of the plane at the airport thinking about his good-byes, about the friends he had made here, and the one he had lost.</p><p>But, maybe that's getting a little ahead of things. Let's go back, just a little.</p><p>"You were really into him, huh?" Percy asked, two weeks before his departure. They were curled up in Nico's room with nothing but a muted movie playing in the background. They had gotten on the subject of Octavian because of some news Nico had received that morning.</p><p>Nico didn't reply for a moment, his eyes red and dried tear streaks running down his face. Those tears the reason Percy had paused the movie. Sobbing wasn't exactly something one did when watching This Is The End, and he soon found out that Nico's ex had died of an overdose. Nico had seemed fine the whole day, a bit quiet, but that was normal, and a little distant, but again, sometimes that was no different than usual. Percy had learned a long time ago, and in these past few months had relearned, that Nico worked at his own pace with things. When he was comfortable discussing or doing something Percy would be the first one to know.</p><p>Suddenly Nico was nodding. "I used to say I was in love with him." He said, voice quiet and sullen in a way Percy had hoped he wouldn't hear for a long time, or ever again if he could help it. Nico looked at him then, in the blue glow of the movie his eyes were so dark, shining with tears and confusion and anger and sadness. "He wouldn't—no, he couldn't stop using, Percy. I should have known. I should have known leaving him like that wouldn't work out. Leaving him alone in that hospital, I should have stayed. I should have stayed till he woke up. I should have—" But Percy was holding Nico tighter now and Nico couldn't see anything anymore, he could only smell the faint fragrance of Percy's body spray, and hear the beating of Percy's heart.</p><p>"If you would have stayed that could have been you."</p><p>It was silent after that, and the truth of those words hung in the air as blatant as neon fire. Nico couldn't deny it. It was something that had already crossed his mind. The path he had been heading down, the wildness, the chaos, the unadulterated adrenaline he had felt from living so dangerously came with a price, and in the truest reality those emotions were created from a mixture of drugs, alcohol, and unending endorphins from unending, often times, dirty, gritty sex with strangers. In that world of bedlam and hedonism it had been like he was invincible. But Octavian had shown him otherwise. The electricity that flowed from his brainstem all the way down to his toes when he would snort of line of this or take a hit of that had always had a terminal undercurrent, and he saw that now.</p><p>Nico's mortality hit him so hard his head rattled. His insides felt as if where there had once been the never ending party there was now rot and decay. The sort of life Octavian had introduced him to was a disease, an infection whose side-effects were apathy and distraction. You knew you were rotting from the inside out but you just didn't care.</p><p>It only just now occurred to him how much he had <em>needed </em>pills and powders without even knowing he'd been addicted, how when he was strung-out the world strung itself out with him, so wire thin and flimsy that nothing mattered. But there was a warmth locked around him now, strong arms, strong legs, a steady heart.</p><p>He mattered, Nico knew.</p><p>But the question Nico had was, did his higher understanding have to come at such a price? God, Octavian was a lot of things: a cheater, manipulative, abusive, but he was also things that Nico could see in himself: insecure, unsure, unsteady in the world, unready for its burdens.</p><p>"He didn't deserve to die." Nico finally said, tears falling fresh and new, hot down his cheeks. "He was so smart, he had good pieces, he loved me. He didn't deserve to die." Nico repeated and Percy just held Nico tighter still. It hurt a little, but it was an anchor in the turbulent sea of grief threatening to swallow him whole.</p><p>Percy's finger ran gently through Nico's hair. "I'm sorry." He said quietly, ever so quietly. Seeing Nico hurt always hurt him, but he didn't know how to salve this wound. He hadn't known Octavian but the impression he got about him was that O had not been good for Nico. That being said, Nico was right, he hadn't deserved to die. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this Nico, but please, I don't want to hear you blaming yourself anymore. He—Octavian kept you as a trophy, even I can see that. You were supposed to be there for him when he wanted to look at something pretty or show off to his friends, and I'm sure some part of him loved you, but when it came down to it seems like he just wanted to drag you down with him. Please don't blame yourself for not getting taken under. I-I couldn't handle it if you…"</p><p>Nico had pulled back from Percy's chest to look him in the eye then. Tears were still falling from his eyes, and his heart hurt in a way he didn't think it ever would over Octavian, but Percy's eyes were wet too. "I wouldn't. I promise. I'm just—I'm just sad, Percy. I did love him, once. He was there for me when no one else could understand. He was like me, observed but not understood. No one else liked him, but not a lot of people liked me, either. Not really. When I leave here, when I go back home, I have to deal with things outside of us. Outside of you and me and how warm and protected I feel with you around. I have to pretend like I don't hear people calling me names, I have to pretend I <em>care </em>some days, I have to pretend to be happy when I'm not always happy. But with O I didn't have to do that, he saw that side of me and he let it be."</p><p>"I see that side of you, too, Nico." Percy insisted. "I would never force you to be anything but yourself."</p><p>"It's apples and oranges, Percy." Nico replied softly, not wanting Percy thinking he was being compared to a past—now dead—lover. "It's not a competition, it's not about who takes better care of me—let's not forget that I can take care of myself, okay?" It took a moment but Percy nodded. "It was more that he was like me, and I liked that. I shouldn't have liked that because the me I was needed someone like you, but I didn't want what I needed, I wanted what was bad for me, what was easiest. Octavian was me, Percy, in a way. He loved the parts of me I couldn't love, and I loved the parts of him he hated. He sang beautifully, I've never told anyone that and he didn't like people to know. His parents forced music on him, forced a lot of things on him. That's why he turned away from them. Not in some rebellion but for the chance to feel like his own person, to feel free. I understood that when I saw him." There was another beat of silence. "I must sound crazy to you," There was a derisive little smirk on his face when he said 'crazy' as if that were evident.</p><p>Percy placed a finger under Nico's chin, forcing him to look up and at him again. "I'm sorry I can't understand you in that way." He said very seriously.</p><p>"No, that's not what I meant—" Nico tried, but Percy shook his head.</p><p>"I know that sometimes you will go to a place in your head that I can't reach, but I promise you I will always be here for you when you get back. If you need me to be your beacon back to this you, I will be. The only thing I want from you, the only thing I would ever ask of you, is to love me. Not to change, not to smile when you don't want to, or to laugh when you feel hollow, but to love me through your hollowness, to kiss me when you feel like crying, to hold my hand when you feel like you're slipping too far away, as tight as you want. I may never be able to see those places in you, Nico, but I will always see you. The beautiful, smart, courageous person I fell in love with when I was eight. Alright?"</p><p>Nico didn't smile, he didn't look any less sad, but there was a heavy flood of compassion in his eyes that told Percy all he needed to know. "Alright." He said, settling against Percy's chest again. Percy turned the television off after that and they laid in silence till they fell asleep.</p><p>Nico mourned for a week longer before he seemed any semblance of himself again.</p><hr/><p>Reyna stopped by Nico's house, once. She was still all swagger and power stance, but there was a softerness to her now as well. Nico could see that when he answered the door. He blinked at her, surprised, before saying, "Hey," lamely, the word croaking in his throat as if he were going through puberty again.</p><p>"Hi," Reyna replied. "I just…" She paused and looked back at her car as if she wanted to bolt and drive away as quickly as she had come. "I wanted to say thank you. I know it was shitty that I outed Percy, but you guys helped me come to terms with something I've been denying for a long time." She smiled for a moment and Nico was taken aback by how truly beautiful she was when she smiled. "I feel happier now. My mom and my sister, they just went with it. They hugged me and we had to have some stupid family time. Mom baked a caked and Hylla—that's my sister—kept making scissoring jokes, which Mom didn't think were funny and I just…" She sighed. "I know I should have texted you, or whatever, but every time I tried to call you or text you I didn't know what to say. I knew it had to be in person, before you left for school."</p><p>Nico smiled then, "Wanna come in? Me and Bianca are having a bake-off. She's making a soufflé, I'm making scones. Best tasting one is the winner and we need an impartial judge." Reyna nodded, returning his smile slightly. "Good, on a side note, I'm terrible at cooking but say mine taste better anyway and I'll give you five bucks."</p><p>She laughed then, and followed him inside.</p><hr/><p>Carter's summer internship was almost up, he had a thesis to write, he had a ton of papers to do, he had to go over the log of his hours, he should have been doing anything but staring at the girl who had broken his heart, but there she was like a dream come true, or a living nightmare he had no idea.</p><p>In truth he hadn't meant to run into her, he was getting take-out for home and somehow fate had brought him to the diner he and Zia used to eat at all the time, 'fate' of course being Sadie's stomach; and, apparently Zia still ate there.</p><p>"Carter?" She asked in her fine, silk voice. Just his name and it brought so many memories of kissing under the sunset, of riding his motorcycle with her laughter pealing in his ears, of fights, of make-ups, of make-outs.</p><p>"Oh," He said, staring at her. Her beauty was otherworldly, really. He wondered, for a moment, how he had ever been so lucky as to have even had a chance with her. "Hi, Zia." Then came the awkward part where they could try to have a civil conversation and pretend like there wasn't years of history between them, or they could ignore each other past formalities.</p><p>"I was really hoping I'd run into you soon," She said instead, surprising him.</p><p>Her hair was like spun black midnight, lacquer shiny and so straight. Her eyes like the stars over a desert, her lips like the reddest, rarest flower in that same desert. Those lips pulled into a smile, it was almost tentative.</p><p>"You were?" He asked around a lump in his throat, in the background he heard, "<em>Order for Kane</em>!" but it only barely registered. Zia was standing in front of him looking like all the best parts of an angel. Her perfume was cloying and she was smiling at him full on now like she hadn't broken his heart.</p><p>"Yes, I—I wanted to call you, or I don't know, come by your house, but it seemed silly. I was the one who broke up with you, I shouldn't feel the way I do." She ran a hand through that silken hair.</p><p>"<em>Kane?</em>" Someone in the wait staff called again.</p><p>"How is that? How do you feel?" Carter asked, somehow inexplicably closer to her. She had always been a tall girl, he could see eye-to-eye with her and he liked that so very much.</p><p>"Lonely? I just broke up with someone and you've been on my mind again." She said with a small smile, shrugging. "Can I say that without sounding needy? I miss you, Carter. I miss you so much, I should have never broken off what we had. All the other guys I've been dating since you have been so dreadful but you, you're nice. What we had was nice. I think I'd like to try that again." She reached a hand out, brushing his fingers with hers.</p><p>Carter's stomach dropped at her touch. "You're lonely?" He asked, eyebrows knitting together. "What we had was nice?" He took a step back.</p><p>"<em>Kane!" </em></p><p>"Well, yeah, Carter, it <em>was </em>nice. Easy, you know? It's a constant that I miss, I think." She looked confused by his withdrawal.</p><p>But now Carter could see past her pretty face, and her harsh words about how boring he was cut like a knife. He took another step back and shook his head.</p><p>"<em>LAST CALL FOR KANE!" </em></p><p>"It was nice to see you again, Zia. I should really get going." He said before he moved past her and paid for his food. With the bags in his hand he nodded at her once, her mouth hanging slightly open, and he exited the diner. When he got in the car Sadie and his dad were waiting.</p><p>"What took you so bloody long?" Sadie asked as he buckled his seatbelt.</p><p>Carter stared out the window as the car moved past the diner and down the street, "Nothing," He said, more to himself than to her, "Just, moving on with my life."</p><p>Sadie rolled her eyes in the front seat, staring at her brother in the rearview mirror. "You're mental." She decided and turned the radio up to be quit of him.</p><hr/><p>Their first time was more awkward than Percy would like to admit; limbs and shortness of breath and incredibly too quick to be anything less than embarrassing. Nico laughed it off as nerves and urged Percy to lay back down. They were in his room, and the window was closed, and Percy was really glad his parents had taken a day trip.</p><p>"I came really fast." Percy said again, hands in his hair and face red with embarrassment. "I don't even cum that fast jerking off. I can't believe I just did that. You didn't even…UGH." And Nico was laughing again; he refused to stop laughing even when Percy glared at him.</p><p>"That was your first time ever, right?" Nico asked. Percy's face was as red as an apple when he nodded. "You lasted longer than I thought you would, then." He grinned, which didn't help Percy pulling at his own hair. Nico chuckled and rose to his knees. He padded—well, slinked really. Percy would have said he slunk—naked across the bed over to the standing boy. "You know what helps when you go really quick on your first time?" He asked with a toothy smile.</p><p>"Vodka? The Men in Black busting my door down and flashing those memory erasing bulbs at us so this whole incident never happened?" Percy supplied.</p><p>Nico chuckled again, "I was going to say taking it a little slower your second time," He grinned, lazily encircling Percy in his arms. "You are up for a second time, right?"</p><p>"I—really?"</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "Yes, really. And a third, but if you're not up for a third then I will gladly top that time." If Percy was red before he was positively maroon now.</p><p>"I would…yes. I-I am not opposed to that—either of those. Nope. I mean, yes. I want that. We can do that."</p><p>"Good, now grab another condom and get back in bed." Nico's smirk seemed to be ever-present, but Percy was much less intimidated by it now. He did as instructed, grabbing the lube too, just to be sure.</p><hr/><p>The library smelled of old molded books, newly printed books with fresh ink and stiff pages and coffee. It had been a few weeks since the entire cabin debacle, since the break-up. Annabeth was okay. No, she was better than okay. Her heart hadn't been broken, not really. In truth, and she felt perhaps that this was true for Percy as well, his companionship had been what she was most attracted to. He had loved her as well as he could, and she knew that, and she him. Maybe if both of their hearts had been truly into it…</p><p>But no, Annabeth was no idiot, far, far from it. She had long ago guarded herself against heartbreak, some unknowable part of her mind sensing that he would never be able to love her like she had wanted, and so she had never loved him like she wanted. That did not mean she did not love him, still, not in the way of eros, but agape. She had loved his kisses, and she had loved being held by him, and she had loved his time, but that was not enough.</p><p>She sighed, not for the first time, and closed her book. By now the words were swimming on the page anyway.</p><p>She wasn't angry anymore. And it had been scary how angry she'd been once she realized that she actually was upset. But she was not angry, or sad, or hurt, or any of those things anymore. She had exhausted herself being all of those things at once, then separately, multiple times over the past few weeks and now she was just tired of thinking about it.</p><p>The dumbest part of the whole thing was that she was starting to miss him. Miss his company, miss hearing him laugh, miss seeing him confused about things he didn't quite understand. But she wasn't there yet. She wasn't ready to talk to him again yet and she didn't know when she would be, or if she would ever be ready.</p><p>"Those are a lot of books for one person," A voice said behind her. She knew that voice, though she hardly spoke to its owner. Annabeth looked at the table she had taken over; books of every kind positively filled it.</p><p>"I like to read when I'm thinking." She said, turning to look at Luke Castellan. His hair was as golden as the sun, and his eyes twinkled with amusement at her words, shining fiercely with intelligence.</p><p>"How do you keep up with your thoughts if you're reading someone else's?" He wondered.</p><p>"It's not that hard," She told him, "My own thoughts are usually easier to understand than some of these textbooks."</p><p>"Why do I get the feeling you're just being modest?" Then he was smiling, "Mind if I sit?" Annabeth did mind, but he sat anyway. "I have the distinct feeling that you've been avoiding me, I asked your friend Reyna to tell you I was asking about you."</p><p>Annabeth snorted very unladylike through her nose, "You know I have a boyfriend."</p><p>"Had, if rumors are to be believed." Luke replied, still smiling. Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm sorry, that was stepping over the line. Sometimes my mouth gets away from me before I can think about what I'm saying. I didn't come here to repeatedly ask you out."</p><p>"I would hope you didn't come here for me at all, it's a library, Luke." Luke laughed then, such a vastly different sound than Percy's laugh. His was so much deeper, rich and almost jolly whereas Percy's was breathless and easygoing. Annabeth looked at the table. "How did you know I was here, anyway?" She asked.</p><p>Luke leaned on one arm, "Someone told me you could use a movie, and maybe something to eat, and a walk around the mall because you've been spending an exorbitant amount of time in the library."</p><p>"I think you and Reyna need to stop talking about my whereabouts behind my back. In fact, you two needn't discuss me at all." Annabeth stood then.</p><p>"Annabeth," Luke said, standing as well. "I told you I wasn't here to ask you out."</p><p>She scoffed, "What exactly do you call what you just did?"</p><p>"I was hoping you'd just want to hang out with me." He replied. "No strings, I realize you probably still need time after…what happened—" He held up a hand, "No. Reyna did not give me details; I just know that it didn't work out, okay? I figure what you need now most of all is a friend, my own feelings aside I could be your friend. If some guy comes along later and you prefer his company over mine then that's okay. What do you say?"</p><p>Annabeth considered him for a minute. She was on the verge of saying no when her phone rang. She pulled it from her pocket, glanced at the name, then looked around the library. She put the receiver up to her ear after accepting the call. "Reyna, you are so dead."</p><p>"Kill me after," Reyna's voice came through the speaker, she was obviously smiling. "If you don't want to go by yourself I'm hiding in the Mythology section listening to your entire conversation and I'll gladly tag along. I've been meaning to go to the movies, anyway."</p><p>Annabeth sighed. Not for the first time that day. "If you wanted to go why didn't you just tell me?"</p><p>"Would you have gone if I told you I was bringing Luke?" She had a point.</p><p>"Fine. Whatever. But you're buying my ticket and my lunch after. And I get to pick the movie." Suddenly Reyna came around one of the bookshelves, Annabeth ended the call. "And you." She pointed at Luke. "This is not a date."</p><p>There was that smile again, it was almost roguish. "It's hardly a date if there're three of us."</p><p>"Yeah," Reyna smirked, "you wish you were that lucky."</p><hr/><p>Nico stood there in the airport. Carter, Sadie, Grover, Juniper and Percy (along with Sally and Paul) were staring at him, Leo, Frank, Rachel, Bianca, and Nico's parents. Today was the day; it was almost past time for them to be gone, to board the plane.</p><p>"Call me when you get on the ground," Percy told him for the fiftieth time.</p><p>"I will, and next Summer you're coming out to our house. We'll go to the beach, and drive over to Disneyland, and you can try In and Out Burger, and—"</p><p>"Nico." Hades said persistently, but Maria elbowed him. "We have to go." Hades staged whispered back.</p><p>"Give them a few more minutes, okay?" Maria replied. Her husband almost informed her that they might not have a few more minutes, but consented silently.</p><p>"Son," Paul said, putting a hand on Percy's shoulder. Percy looked back at his stepdad and nodded, understanding. Hades shot Paul a grateful look.</p><p>"I love you, Nico. I'll call you every day, and Skype you. You better get a Facebook and post a lot of pictures, and don't forget to sleep. Or eat. You never eat enough. And keep your phone charged, okay?" Nico smiled.</p><p>"I love you, too, Percy." He said, blushing slightly. Everyone around them was making to look as if the couple had total privacy. "I'll come visit during the break, and you come visit me."</p><p>Percy nodded, "I will." They stared at each other after that, holding hands but not venturing further. Percy just wanted to make sure he had the new, grown up Nico etched into every part of his brain so that when he closed his eyes he would see this boy clearly.</p><p>"Just freaking kiss so we can go already!" Leo catcalled from behind. Nico's blush deepened, but he leaned up and pressed himself against Percy. Their lips met and it looked as if it would take divine intervention to pull them apart.</p><p>"<em>Now boarding: flight 354 to Los Angeles</em>." A voice called over the intercom, as close to divine intervention as anything could be. Nico pulled back and kissed both of Percy's cheeks and his mouth once more for good measure. "I love you. So much."</p><p>"I love you, too." Percy replied with his lopsided grin.</p><p>"We love you, too, Nico, though not so much as your boyfriend and quite a bit more than your father if you're late for your flight." Sally smiled. Nico nodded. There were more final good-byes, made as hastily as possible with such a big group and finally Nico had to let Percy's hand go.</p><p>"Good-bye."</p><p>"No, not bye. I'll see you later." Percy grinned, which put a smile on Nico's face as well. They boarded and took their seats and Nico looked out of the window. It was raining, but he was still smiling even as Leo's head landed on his shoulder and the other boy continually snored in his ear.</p><p>He smiled all the way to LAX.</p><hr/><p>The school year was threatening to be a terrible one. The only thing that got him through the days were the texts from his friends. Funnily enough they almost all lived in California now. Leo would tell him funny stories, Frank would talk about movies and shows with him, Rachel would talk sports with him (so would Carter).</p><p>But, apparently his sexuality had gotten out. Some rumormonger named Drew Tanaka had heard it from the friend of a friend of a friend, or something. Who knew how rumors got circulated into and high school, but once began they became like the life's blood that kept the student population running.</p><p>Most of the guys on the swim team were understanding, only a few of them refused to change around Percy, and it wasn't that he was being bullied, but he wasn't exactly being included in much of anything anymore.</p><p>Percy sat at a lunch table by himself, he very obviously wasn't the only gay student, but just because he'd recently come out, or had been forced out, didn't mean the others would come running in flocks to comfort him. Percy was what the people considered popular, or he had been. It never occurred to him how popular until he was literally eating lunch by himself. Grover joined him when he could, but a lot of the time he took his lunches in the Greenhouse with the Gardening Club, a club Percy was seriously considering joining despite the fact that his green thumb was more a thumb of death than life.</p><p>He sighed, his runny soup falling out of his spoon without much tilt from his wrist.</p><p>"Mind if we take a seat?" He looked up.</p><p>"Annabeth?" He wondered, she stood there her with her new boyfriend Luke Castellan and Reyna.</p><p>She smiled at him, "Hey, Seaweed Brain."</p><p>"Hey." He smiled back, "Please, sit. I'm dying of boredom and have somehow become a social pariah."</p><p>"Because Drew Tanaka keeps telling people she heard you want to blow the entire football team." Reyna informed him as she sat beside him. "Which, I would say is probably more a challenge than you're up for."</p><p>"Don't think my jaw could handle that, really, no." Percy admitted with a small smile.</p><p>"You know, I heard Drew got chlamydia from Derrick Spears, she's probably trying to do anything in her power to keep that from getting around." Luke put in. "Use that information how you will."</p><p>Percy shook his head, "I won't fight fire with fire," He looked at Luke, who was holding Annabeth's hand. "Besides, chlamydia is treatable. She'd never admit it." He laughed. Reyna, Annabeth and Luke did as well.</p><p>After a moment Annabeth's expression turned from one of amusement to concern, "Are you doing okay, Seaweed—Percy? You've just looked a little…you haven't looked yourself since school started."</p><p>"I'm okay," Percy assured her. "Just…you know, I miss him and Fall Break is still a long while away." He shook his head, "How are you?"</p><p>Annabeth looked at Luke and she smiled, "I'm good. I'm really good." She said. After that they talked for a long time about nothing and Percy felt better than he had since Nico had left to go home.</p><hr/><p>It was Christmas Break but it sure didn't feel like it. "Why is it still so hot? Does it not ever get cold here?" Percy wondered from Nico's bed. He was lying on his stomach and in only his boxers, sweating. "How do you stand it?"</p><p>"Well, one: I'm not a baby." That earned a glare from Percy. "And two, stop complaining, we're about to go swimming, you love swimming, remember?" Percy did love swimming. Nico sat on the bed, "What'd you get me for Christmas, anyway?"</p><p>"My dick, I wrapped a bow around it." Percy smirked, Nico swatted him on the ass, earning a keening sound. He smacked the other cheek for good measure. "You wear far too many clothes." Percy told him and Nico looked down at his pajamas.</p><p>"I wear just the right amount of clothes, you're just horny and upset because its hot here but snowing back in New York." Nico laughed, crowding Percy's space. Percy would have pushed him away and complained of the heat if Nico wasn't right. "We can always go take a cold shower before everyone gets here."</p><p>"Or…" Percy grinned, his hand reaching under Nico's shirt. "We could do something else."</p><p>"Pretty sure that would make it even hotter than it is." Nico replied, scholarly. "Weren't you just saying how hot you were?"</p><p>"That was before you started spanking me." Percy countered, turning over onto his side to look Nico square in the face. "How much time do we have?"</p><p>"More than you'll need." Nico grinned, Percy flicked him on the nose and pouted. Nico kissed him. "It was a joke, Percy. You are a sex god, don't pout."</p><p>"You weren't complaining last night, or this morning, if I recall." Percy replied, his pride wounded and his bottom lip still jutted out slightly.</p><p>Nico rolled his eyes, "Is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?" Then he rolled his eyes again at the look he received from Percy. "Really?"</p><p>"Yup. Then a cold shower, and I won't return the favor 'cause you were being an ass." Though he did end up returning the favor, and again in the shower, and then once more after they had gotten home and Nico's skin tasted of salt and sea.</p><p>Later that night they laid in bed, wrapped around one another. They were going to fight, and they were going to argue, and they were still young so they weren't sure what the world was going to throw their way, but they loved each other. They had always loved one another, even when they thought they hated each other. Because when they were together, they were complete, and that's what love truly is.</p><p>
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